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Cock Zucker

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I guess we can all shave off our strike-pompadours [you did grow yours right?] now that Conan has reached an agreement with NBC for an exit strategy. His final show is tonight and I urge you all to watch it live as it airs (no DVR’s) to make this the highest rated episode of The Tonight Show With Conan O’Brien ever. It’s hard to feel bad for a guy that’s going to pocket almost $34 million for NOT working (he must have got that book about free government money from the guy in the question mark suit), but it isn’t hard to see that he wanted the show and not the payout.

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Punny Or Die

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UPDATE 3: Conan’s actual response: No Thanks, NBC
UPDATE 2: David Letterman’s Advice To NBC
UPDATE: Conan addresses the rumors. Sort of.

In a statement about the decision to move Jay Leno back to his original time slot and bump Conan to 12:05am, a spokesperson for NBC called Leno “one of the most compelling entertainers in the world today.” IN THE WORLD. Let’s see how I stack up to Mr. Leno. Here we go:

“Hey folks. Did you hear ‘The Tonight Show’ is getting moved to 12: 05am. That’s true. It is.  Yeah, they’re changing the name to ‘The Tomorrow Show’.”

ZING! POW! PUNS! I must be one of the most compelling entertainers in the world too. Here’s another from the same awesome monologue of compelling, world class comedy: