Project Cloverfield: Top Secret Bath Gel?

J.J. Abrams has been quite geek-prolific these last few years. I can almost forgive him for Felicity. I remember when I told Josh “Cloverfield” might be a Cthulhu movie. He shit out his soul right then and there. He has a plush version of the “Great Old One” on his desk.

Zachary Quinto being cast as Spock is an interesting and appropriate choice. Just look at the logic in those eyebrows!

In what may be his worst lapse in judgement (or anyone else’s for that matter), internets have it that J.J. wants to put Tom “Fear me for I am Galactic Space Lord Xenu!” Cruise in the new Trek as Captain Christopher Pike. People keep trying to find new and exhilarating ways to make me hate Star Trek. I hope they hobble that alien worshiping shit bag with a tire iron and stuff him in that beeping iron lung/washing machine from The Cage.

For what it’s worth, I think Wesley would turn out to be a Sith. He’s got daddy issues. If any Hollywood-types are interested, I am willing to sell the rights to “Geek-Splosion” and the geek-quel, “Geek-splosion II: Xena and the Highlander Race Light Cycles with Tron and the Goonies, and at least one of the Corey’s…..Seaquest, War Games, Last Starfighter.” Let me rifle through a box of old VHS in the garage and we can work out a deal for episodes 3 through 6 too.

Bastian, say my name! Yeahhh. Say it, bitch. Momma like. Who’s your empress?”

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23 Comments

  1. I’m in overload mode too. I’m a HUGE lovecraft fan (despite the racest a-hole he was). Zac as Spock is right on and coming on his Heroes popularity will help the whole “Xenu lover” being trapped for Capt. Pike.

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  2. @Risanni

    Holy shit. Cthulhu soap. Sign me up. I want to smell EXACTLY like that.

    @Grimmbear

    Take deep breaths. Count to 10. It will all be over soon.

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  3. Is that the dragon from Neverending Story?

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  4. @MKR

    Falkor the Luck Dragon and The Childlike Empress from the Neverending story.

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  5. For years I thought Atreyu was a girl.

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  6. @MKR

    Are you sure you werent just hoping Atreyu was a girl? It would make everything so much easier.

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  7. Does that mean that Marty McFly’s force lightning sounds like Van Halen?
    I think we need to get a giant version of that last frame for a stage backdrop.

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  8. @Spiraling

    Its sounds like a blues riff in B. Watch me for the changes and try to keep up.

    Also, I just emailed you the full res version of the last panel. Not big enough for a stage, but maybe for a bassdrum head.

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  9. Man that’s awesome, I love it
    For what it’s worth, I would sooo pay to see Geek-splosion! :)

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  10. @Pete

    Thanks! We are accepting donations now to hire Wil and Michael J.

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  11. Josh always has such great facial expressions. I especially love the ‘I want to live!’ part of the Harry Potter: Epilogue comic. Are his facials that good in RL? Oh geesh, that came out wrong. Welp, too late to fix it now.

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  12. @Matthew

    “Are his facials that good in RL?”

    My god, I hope he sees this. You just made my day.

    Word on the street (the ACTUAL street) is, yes, his facials are THAT good.

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  13. If I was running from a pan-galactic imperium, my first contact would be Mal from Firefly.

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  14. That last panel really needs to be in the vault as a wallpaper (if it isn't; I didn't see it). I'd donate for it!

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  15. Am I the only one who thought he meant Ash from pokemon until I saw the poster?

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  16. I laughed. It hurts to laugh now. You bastard.

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  17. movie needs more doctor who

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  18. i would totally pay to see both versions of Geeksplosion. i want to see tom servo with his totally useless arms being an ally.

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  19. Will ash yell this is my boom stick to every new person he meets

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