Know What I’m Saying, Holmes?

UPDATE 05/18/12: Donation subscribers of any level will get access to an RSS feed with the full comic in it.

I am going to be at Dallas Comic Con this weekend with Randy Milholland of Something Positive. I will ONLY BE THERE SATURDAY. Randy will be there Saturday and Sunday. You can find us at table 132. I will have books, prints, stickers and sketch cards, but no shirts. Really testing the waters on this one. If you guys come out and make it a good show, I will probably be back next year in full force.

HijinKS ENSUE at Dallas Comic Con 2012

Here’s another stand alone to break up the continuity before the next mini story arc. Read more about the new direction I am taking the comic in and how you can help HERE if you haven’t already.

Gigantic thanks to everyone that has donated last week, especially to the new donation subscribers. If you enjoy HE and would like to see it continue and even flourish, I have added $2, $3, and $4 monthly donation subscription options. If you can spare $2 a month for a bunch of comics, I would consider you to be a pretty awesome type of person.

I am giving T-shirt ads in the posts a rest for a couple of weeks while I make some new ones, but why not check out The HE Store anyway? It’s still there.

Professional Science Doers project that by 2020 we will have moved to an entirely Sherlock Holmes-based entertainment society. Between House, Moffat’s Sherlock, Robert Downey Jr.’s steampunk bromance with Jude Law, and the new CBS Holmes series, Elementary, I just don’t see any way out of this inevitability. I say we all start investing in double-brimmed caps, pipes, magnifying glasses and cocaine before the crowd gets wind of this. And yes, I am counting any and all modern iterations of Jekyll And Hyde in this equation for obvious reasons. Or rather, for what are OBVIOUSLY reasons. Reasons that I have. Reasons that you should not question. Reasons involving scarves.

COMMENTERS: Do we need a new Holmes-boy, or is one Sherlock enough? Any thoughts on the upcoming House series finale? How are you hoping it will resolve? Personally I’m glad it’s ending now rather than dragging for another year. This last season really felt like a running start towards the shark with strong intent to jump. Otherwise, please make up more silly British detective names.

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  1. I have to believe Elementary is going to pale in comparison to Moffat's Sherlock. BTW, American peeps, the season finale is this Sunday on the very free PBS.

  2. I think Robert Downey Jr., Benedict Cumberbatch, and Brent Spiner have already given me more Sherlock Holmes than I can handle in one lifetime.

  3. Moffat managed to completely reinvigorate Holmes in Sherlock – it's a truly wonderful piece of television. I suspect that the only way CBS can keep up is by going for quantity over quality – a 20-episode season would nicely fill the gap in the cold, dark months between 3-episode seasons of Sherlock.

  4. Actually, I believe right after Dracula, Sherlock Holmes is the fictional character that has been represented most in television and film.

  5. I'm definitely looking forward to another Holmes adaptation. I need something to tide me over until BBC Sherlock season 3 and RDJ Sherlock 3. I'm not expecting it to be as awesome as Sherlock of course. I just hope that it doesn't totally suck.

    As far as House goes, I'm glad they're ending it. They pissed me off when they gave Wilson cancer (HURR HURR the cancer doc has cancer HURRRRR). There isn't anything else "shocking" that House can do, despite them saying that every frickin episode.

  6. "If you guys come out and make it a good show, I will probably be back next year in full force."

    Really? I understand and appreciate your new direction w/HE, but thinly veiled extortion? Not cool.

    • What the actual fuck? If I pay money to do a convention and my audience doesn't come out to support me, I stop doing that convention. That seems like an equation that even someone who is wholly unfamiliar with how comic conventions work can understand. What an assanine comment.

      • That's a given, Joel. I just didn't think it required a 'make it worth my while' clause. Any previously unproven convention you go to comes with risk, that you, as the 'vendor' (for the lack of a better term), accept. To essentially say, "I'm going to make a half-assed showing and if gobs of cash don't come my way, I'm never coming back," is what seems asinine to me. Ending your pitch at "no shirts" or even "testing the waters on this one" would have been perfectly fine. The rest is just thinly veiled extortion, as I said.

        Seeing as that day passed, I hope you fared well enough to return 'full force' next year. Despite my comments, I hope the new direction of HE works out for you, as I am a long time reader/fan. I'm the last person to hope your '5 year experiment' fails.

        • I never said "I'm going to make a half-assed showing and if gobs of cash don't come my way". You did. By "full force" I meant with a full compliment of merchandise or perhaps with a full table instead of a half table. You just had the opportunity to apologize for being so offensive and yet you used and defended the phrase "The rest is just thinly veiled extortion" AGAIN, which I find beyond unacceptable. Let me be INCREDIBLY clear when I say, get off your high horse, stop presuming to tell me how to conduct my business. If you make any more baseless accusations, call my integrity into question or use the phrase "extortion" again (other than to say "Im sorry for the completely baseless extortion comment. Wow I was being such an ass.") then Im just going to ban you.

          • Okay, I'll concede. Maybe 'extortion' was a bit harsh, but I still maintain the 'make it worth my while' clause was unnecessary, if not a bit offensive. I assume you have plenty of fans/readers that are more than willing to make it worth your while when you visit their neck of the woods if they're able. Maybe my disconnect comes from the phrase "make it a good show," which I presumed was a reference to your potential financial gain from that showing and not to how entertained you become. I could be wrong. I'm willing to admit that.

            And no, you didn't say the bit about 'gobs of cash,' I did. By using the word 'essentially' I was breaking down how I felt your post came across to me. The 'half-assed' part came from the basis that you weren't going to be there 'full force' and only showing up for one day.

            By no means am I telling you how to conduct your business. I was merely stating, and still maintain as I said above, the 'make it worth my while' clause was not needed. What you choose to do with that information is wholly up to you, Joel. Now, granted, I initially came at you with the word 'extortion' and I admit that it may have been a poor choice of wording (twice), but I stand by my intention of meaning. We know you go to conventions to make money. Most of the time if you let the readers know, they'll be there with money in hand. They don't need to be coerced with the thought you might not come back again if they don't. That tactic usually backfires.

            So in the end, Joel, I will not apologize for being offended at your 'buy my merch or I won't come back to this con' inference, but I will apologize for using the words 'extortion' and 'half-assed.' There was quite a bit of assumption on my part, and I probably could have been more tactful in my presentation, which, ironically enough, is precisely what I was calling YOU out for. So, for what it's worth, I apologize again for my poor wording, and I hope you'll give some thought to how to phrase future announcements once the rage-cloud is gone. Bottom line is: Conduct your business however you see fit, but I won't hesitate to call you on anything that rubs me the wrong way as a potential repeat customer.

  7. Unless the next adaptation of Sherlock features the shocking pink squirrel from 70s kids' show The Magic Garden, I ain't interested.

  8. OH GAWD, ooooh i wish that last panel didn't actually make sense…….oh now all of house makes sense

    gee thanks joel

  9. You, sir. have a true gift for ridiculous names. Just yesterday I sent a friend a link to the BSG comic with "Drinky McEyeball" and "Sir Reginald Doodad Surrendershorts". Brilliant.

  10. In the last episode, House will die of a mysterious disease his compatriots are at a loss to diagnose. Ends up it's lupus.

  11. house should end with "I'm Gay! and British!" then he rips of the face of a patient, who under the mask is lupus! then he fights lupus.

  12. Is it just me or do my RSS comic arriving late in my email? Is it a problem with Feed Burner or the actual RSS Feed. Could it have something to do with my email?

  13. For a minute there, I was at a loss as to what on earth comic-you was putting in his drink, until I realized it was a coffee shop and it was most likely a Splenda packet. I was having visions of something horrible, like FunDip powder in Jolt or somesuch.

  14. Explaining the realities of a situation is not "extortion". This is not "I am taking my ball and going home", this is "I will know I can afford the upfront investment".

    • Pretty sure that guy didn't deserve an explanation for making such a shithead comment, but yes, you are correct.

  15. I do adore BBC Sherlock and gay Ritchie's version is fun, but I'm starting to suffer a slight overdose of all things Holmes. Despite House bowing out (wake me up if he actually elopes with Wilson. Josh's limp theory is perfect!) current media feels too saturated with druggy deduction and ironic deerstalkers.

    At least both Beeb and RDJ got the most famous stories out of their systems now, perhaps the third series (yes please)/film (which I'm not too interested in, Madonna's ex should just drop the steampunk for a while and do that Rocknrolla sequel next) would explore the lesser-known Holmes canon? There's more to Sherlock than the Reichenbach Hound in Bohemia.

    Actual Victorian bisexual dandy recommendation, created by none other than Mark Gatiss himself: The Lucifer Box series. Now somebody film that!

    • Lucifer Box is indeed awesome. Everyone thinking about writing historical/steampunk/alternative fiction should read the set.

    • Lucifer Box is indeed awesome – he actually is James Bond, if James Bond was an unrelenting prick. Doubt it would ever get made into a tv series though – although given the bisexual side to the character, Russel T Davies should be attracted to the idea of doing a series like a cat to a dangly, shiny thing filled with cat crack!

      The comic books are really good adaptions.

  16. Before Moffat's Sherlock came out, John Rogers posted this (co-creator of Leverage, and other stuff):

    Alan Scott: Also, some of us haven't been exposed to your Holmes/Watson rant–and if we didn't want to hear you rant, we wouldn't be reading your blog.

    Commenter ajay pretty much nailed it: Absolutely. At the beginning of "A Study in Scarlet", Watson has just returned from Afghanistan with a nasty case of PTSD. He went straight into the Army from medical school, and straight to Afghanistan the next year. So he can't really be more than 26 or so when the novel starts – Victorian doctors went to university at 18 or so and studied for five or six years. And Holmes is about the same age if not younger – he's studying at the university, he's had no previous job that anyone mentions, and Watson doesn't describe him as significantly older than himself.

    John Watson is a twenty-six year old combat hard-ass with mujhadeen shrapnel buried in his leg (or shoulder, depending on the story), not some foppish fuckwit with a bowler hat. Sherlock Holmes is your substance-abusing perpetual grad student solving cases for the London underworld/working class that the cops won't touch. THAT'S why everybody fucks up Holmes and Watson including, probably, my favorite writer in the world.

    About two years ago I was developing that version of Holmes and Watson with a director to do a TV pilot, and our agents correctly argued that no network was really looking for that. However, it's my fondest wish to someday do that show.

    Oh, and they're women. Did I mention that?

    Maybe, someday.

    I want to see that version of Sherlock Holmes

  17. Weeee! I'll be covering the Dallas ComicCon both days with my camera for the new Dallas alt-news-culture site,

    … also taking requests for inconspicuous surveillance of exhibitor table #132… Photochopping Joel's head on cute cos-play Con attendees is extra for a nominal fee.

  18. Two words: Hercule. Poirot.

    That's what we need now, some dapper badass in sharp suits running around with his boisterous British sidekick solving mysteries on the strength of ze leetle gray cells.

  19. So which of these Sherlocks will win in a fight? Will they be able to deduce the winner without fighting? Or will Data win by simply saying "end program?"

    • Data has the advantage, being as 1) he's a walking computer, and 2) hitting him would fucking hurt. It took blowing up a starship loaded with thalaron radiation to destroy him–RDJ and BC would have to team up to stand even the remotest of chances against our dearly departed Data. Who may or may not be so departed, depending on your source. (A comic series leading up to the 2009 Trek film puts Data as the captain of the Enterprise–this is also mentioned in Star Trek Online.)

      Oh, and if you haven't seen ST Nemesis, sorry for the spoiler.

  20. I need to write Victorian mystery novels now with those characters. They are awesome.
    "I say!" Professor Smatheron-Smythe stumbled upn an uneven cobblestone in the dark alley, and squinted through the thick London fog. "So terribly sorry! Was that your foot? Er…" He peered closer and wiped the condensation from his pince-nez. The huddled shape he had initially mistaken for a garden-variety drunk lolled to the side, revealing a much higher class of dress than that the type of people usually to be found huddled in the corners of dark alleys were wont to wear. Most fashionable men of the world would never think of leaving the house without a hat, although in the poor fellow's defense, he didn't seem to be possessed of a head upon which to display it. Nor arms with which to don it. And his legs were a good three feet from the rest of him…

    "Oh dear." The professor frowned in consternation. "I seem to have discovered another mysterious corpse! I suppose I had better find a policeman."

    • In a cloud of gin fumes and second-hand snuff Sir Reginald Watchfob breezed into Scotland Yard and leaned laconically on Chief Inspector Shufflebottom's desk.
      Snatching up a petty cash receipt from the desk, he delicately rolled himself a fresh cigarello with it, casting a mocking smile towards the Inspector's frustrated half-hearted attempt to reclaim his paperwork.
      "Just so you are aware, Inspector," he said in a teasing drawl, "I know who killed the Earl of Tooting and his third mistress."

      Throwing his hands in the air in frustration, the Inspector Shufflebottom growled "That only happened this morning Sir Watchfob, how on earth can you know who committed the murder already!"

      Drawing in a deep lungfull from his cigarello, Sir Reginald blew a thick cloud of noxious smoke into the Inspector's face, reducing him to a red faced, coughing wreck.
      "That's for me to know Inspector…" he said as he walked from the room, "and for you to figure out."

    • Seconding Jekyll! James Nesbitt was brilliant and with only six episodes it's a relatively quick watch.

    • Yes! That was an awesome series. Another great BBC series was called The Dead Set, and it was about zombies and reality tv (ala Big Brother) Great dark humor and the first time I've seen fast moving zombies.

  21. I'd really like Chase to return for the finale, but JUST to hook up with Park. They threw that bit in there, and it was actually kind of a cool resolution to his years of constant man-whoring, then they appeared to be in an awful hurry to write him out of the entire thing just a couple episodes before the series finale. What is that all about??

    • Hugh Laurie caught Jesse Spencer doing "stuff" to the couch in his dressing room. He then asked him to leave the show. Apparently that man-whore thing isn't as much of an act as you think.

  22. OMG an ameircan version… queue the inevitable love interest between.,..sherlock and watson… yuk yuk yuk… i'm filled with dread.

  23. I was hopeful, but it looks really bad. Like people should be standing in front of the studio waving signs that say "NO SHITTY SHERLOCK!".

  24. But the new Elementary stars ZeroCool. How can it possibly go wrong?

    Hopefully AcidBurn makes an appearance at some point.

  25. I could make up a Victorian detective name, maybe something like Cornelius Gabriel Esq. However, nothing will ever compare to Sir Arthur Conan Doyle's OTHER big character, Professor Challenger.

  26. "That's no limp. That's 3 appendages sharing 2 pants legs." Being in a rather large back-brace with a leg-extension, and subsequently walking with a rather pronounced limp, I am SO COMPLETELY STEALING THAT LINE. That is all.


  27. Ahh that's the Josh we know and love! I missed him 😀 You were totally right about the characters with one voice thing – the most obvious victim of that was Josh's character who used to be so wonderfully shocking and out there (in all senses :-D)

    Glad to have him back. More!

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