Juggalin

One can only assume that Sarah Palin’s Alaska on TLC will involve the former governor pushing pregnant moose down a flight of stairs, slitting the throats of brown bear cubs with a javalin while racing a snow mobile and clubbing baby Eskimos. Their precious pelts are worth their weight in endangered whale blubber at the trading outpost.

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If you are a Juggalo sympathizer of some sort or your tea bag swings to the extremely far right and this comic offends you, please address all concerns to Randy since he inspired this comic over dinner (and via twitter).

C2E2

C2E2 is THIS WEEKEND!!! April 16-18
If you are going to be in Chicago, come say hi!

It seems like this has been a banner week for enemies of science, champions of ignorance and the glorification of all around, good old-fashioned dullardry. I actually think Palin fits right in with ICP. Much like her Juggalo kindred [and the ancient Aztecs] she doesn’t know how the sun works, doesn’t want to know and is pretty sure she should fear it and sacrifice a few of her brood to insure a bountiful harvest.

If we can learn anything from the “Juggalin” or “Paliggalo” philosophies, it’s that scientists are “snake oil salesman” and “mother fuckers” that be “lyin’ and gettin’ me pissed“. At least we can all agree that nothing in this world or beyond can be explained without magic. To attempt to fathom how rainbows are made, why our kids look like us, or how dirt is dirt is to question the will of the divine and drive a stake into the heart of all those that believe in miracles.

Battlestar Galactica/UN "So Say We All" T-Shirt

Check out this new “Battlestar Galactica/United Nations So Say We All” T-Shirt I made for Olmos Productions, Inc.


Don’t Forget! [Edward shirts now at Topatoco!]

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59 Comments

  2. You have managed to sum up exactly how I feel about that cow having access to any type of media outlet… but you managed to make it hilarious whereas I just fling every profanity I know in every language I know at her monkey-like face.

  3. I am of the belief that, like Slayer, ICP is a big joke that accidentally made people believe it wholeheartedly, like it was some sort of religious uprising. I listen to ICP occasionally, but hate the "juggalos" with the ICP tattoos all over who wear nothing but ICP t-shirts, and listen to nothing but ICP. It's annoying. Like Palin. There, I tied it in.

  4. Wow, you and Cracked both hit on the retardedness of ICP's new song (I'd not heard of them – am I missing something?) this week.

    I love your angry face in panel 2 – that's me!! Except mine goes more red from rage.

    If you wanna read a very jokey attempt to explain those 'miracles' in a Juggalo (wtf?) style head over to cracked and check out Dan Dan Revolution's latest post.

    On a different note OMFG – I've just bought spent a bunch on clothes leading to a self imposed clothes moratorium and now you've brought out a t-shirt I absofrakkinglutely HAVE to have!

    Good thing I've got a birthday coming up in a coupla weeks! Link sent to blokey! ;oP

  9. Great, now I should have watched more Discovery Channel back in the day, if it didn’t get really boring. Otherwise: Palin & Juggalos, on Discovery? WTF?!

  10. When I first heard that Discovery was paying her 1mil an episode I had to think that it was a way for the owners of Discovery channel to ensure that she wouldn't run for the Presidency in 2012.

  12. You'd think fundamentalists would have an understanding and acceptance of the fundamental forces of the universe.

    Fuckin' strong/weak force, how does it work? JESUS THAT'S HOW

  13. ICP hasn't been relevant or interesting since Jekyll Brothers came out. I'll let you know when Palin is relevant… or interesting.

    How can she have a TV show in Alaska on Discovery if she is a commentator on FNC? Did FNC keep her in Alaska? Did that deal fall through?

  15. As a libertarian myself, I find it funny that you liberals are always the ones who act like trolls and post the hate them destroy, them they shouldn’t have been born or, be allowed to talk crap. I mean come on you probably haven’t really listened to her since someone told you she was evil. Also the name calling just shows that you are insecure. I’ll do my own thinking and if you don’t like me for it oh well.

    • As a person with a meaningless title myself, I find it funny that you liberals are always telling people they shouldn't be allowed to touch red stove burners. You probably haven't really touched a red stove burner since you were a kid, so how do you know it will hurt? I'll get my own third degree burns and if you don't like me for it oh well.

    • Think for yourself. Who said you werent supposed to? This is my comic and my opinions. They dont reflect on anyone but myself. If some of my readers agree with my points of view, thats a perk. Many of them dont. Either way, Im not preaching. Im drawing things that make me (And some others) laugh. Not that it matters but I am quite familiar with Palin and her stance on science. No one is asking you to agree. If you didnt laugh, wait for the next comic and try again, or move on to more comfortable territory.

  16. Ok Chris so you think that the government should take away your matches because I might get burned? Kinda hard to grill a burger that way.

    • To the contrary, I think the government should give out red white and blue matches. To everyone. Including illegal immigrants. Burgers too. At the doctors office, while they are waiting in line for free health care. On Ronald Regan's birthday.

      I was merely trying to illustrate, through sarcasm, that I agreed with several of the other commenter's sentiment that people who lack the cognitive capacity to successfully perform a certain task shouldn't continue to be allowed to attempt it to their own detriment or at the risk of others. You know how religious people stay away from museums of science and industry because they can't figure out how fossils and climate change work? I would just like to see the same resistance from Palin towards basic cable.

  17. Ok so Palin may not win the Nobel Prize in science. But the thing I like about her is that she is more likely to keep the government out of my hair. I live in a military barracks in garrison, and it’s hitting 80 degrees where I’m at right now. You would think that the air conditioning is on, right? Guess what it’s not, in fact the heat is still on. The reason why it’s still on is because some beurocrat hasn’t decided that it’s summer yet. So because some politician decided to save the planet I wind up sitting in my room in my underwear with a fan in my window and the heat on full blast. The government doesn’t have the sense to use a thermostat and you want them to such wonderful nobel things for us all. I would rather just get them out of my life.

    • Since Palin isnt in polotics any more shes not likely to do anything about your situation at all.

      Im sure you like the idea of having the government "out of your life" but that really falls apart when you consider that the government regulates how safe our vehicles are, whether or not my kids toys contain poison, whether or not our food is poison, whether or not we have roads to drive the safe cars on, whether or not i can fly my plane right into oncoming air traffic, etc etc etc.

      Sure the system is broken and is in dire need of repair, but that is a far cry from "we dont need no stinkin goverment". Im not putting those words in your mouth, just trying to illustrate a point.

    • I hate to point this out, but FedGov doesn't have a corner on the market of heat running in the summer…I work in the private sector as a corporate tool of xaos, and they do the same nonsense…and worse.
      And not to denigrate your service to our country as noted above, but if you're for less/reduced/minimal government in our lives…would the fact that you work directly for said governmen be an…oxymoron? ironic? oxyonic?
      And getting back to the faux differences between the 2 parties of clowns we leave in office…one party backed off governing parts of our great nation and dumped us back into a depression the would've sent my grandparents into conniptions if they'd still been alive, while the other party has swung the pendulum back to trying to regulate the wrong things at the slightly right time, etc. etc. ad nausuem.
      Come to think of it…the clowns on C-Span make ICP look almost normal, except for the hetero drag and all.

    • She might be more likely to keep the government out of your hair, but only because she would sell those government functions to the private sector. Your life would still be exactly the same, except you'd be being charged double what you currently are for that heating you don't need, while at the same time missing out on a service you really do need.

      And the fact that she's a creationist, god-fearing (why do people who love god also fear him?), moose shooting, science disbelieving, ass-talking harpy is why she shouldn't be on Discovery. I thought Discovery was mainly dedicated to factual shows.

  20. Word Mark, you tell those sheeple what-for. Thanks for being one of the few people who thinks for themselves and sees through the mass-media mind control, bro.

  21. What about that Ghost Lab show? Where is everyone's indignation there? That is, if it were science, shouldn't they be turning up negative result after negative result? Soon it'll be called The Dyscovyry Channel and have pro-wrestling, right after Palin's show but before Ghost Lab.

    • Point taken. Discovery was already far out of the realm of science but I think Palin is sinking a bit lower than "DID YOU GUYS HEAR THAT!? MAYBE ITS A GHOST! Oh, its not? It never is? Oh well."

  23. Thanks for doing the Edward and Human Race shirts- I saw Edward James Olmos speak last year- and seeing that shirt brought back the goosebumps- I'm also going to have to make room for another t-shirt!

  24. Please refrain from relating the Aztecs to ICP or Palin its demeaning and completely ignorant as they knew much about celestial bodies. Not to mention that their use of sacrifices its vastly overplayed.

  25. @hijinksensue
    I’m not for throwing the baby out with the bath water. But a republic where the government does not listen isn’t a republic.

    @geekygirluk
    If selling off or closing certain parts of the government is such a bad idea then why does the post office lose business to UPS and Fed-Ex. Oh and what’s keeping Amtrak alive? Mayby they would stop losing money if they added AmZepplin.
    As for her religious beliefs, I don’t care if anyone prays within ear shot of me as long as they don’t use force to make me join them.

    @Unknown
    Yes I may work for the government but that doesn’t make me of the government. Unless you count all those soldiers holding down the fort at the DMV.

  26. “There’s miracles all up in this bitch!”

    If that had been written by someone who appreciated irony, it’d be a brilliant line.

  27. I haven't paid much attention to Palin, and I didn't know who ICP were, but I just read some news articles and watched the ICP video and something hit me: when they say 'miracles', they mean 'things we don't understand'. But for the twisted and the willfully ignorant, almost *everything* is something they don't understand.

    Do you notice and recognize ignorance? Follow that ICP link, you will.

  28. @ Mark "If selling off or closing certain parts of the government is such a bad idea then why does the post office lose business to UPS and Fed-Ex"

    Because government run services *are* by definition, inefficient – they are trying to provide a service for all of the people all of the time (as a UK citizen I know of which I speak). In doing so, you automatically have an inefficient system because there will be people who want one part of the service but not the other, and others who want the second part, but not the first, but everyone has to pay for the whole (through their taxes) because the whole has to be provided for those who *do* need it.

    Because we are bombarded with the message that more expensive means a better product/service, and because the US seems to have such a 'well I can pay more so I deserve a better service and screw everyone who can't afford it!' attitude, private companies do well. The question is, are we all individuals? In which case you should personally pay for any repairs/maintenance to your street/phone line/gas supply/electricity supply/etc on top of your monthly bill. OR are we a society? In which case we accept a bit of inefficiency in the name of ensuring that *everyone* is served. That doesn't mean we shift to full on Communism (I know that many people think that there is no middle ground), it means we consider others for 5 minutes and ask ourselves whether receiving that letter the very next day is as important as ensuring that *everyone* gets their mail at a reasonable rate.

    The fact that the Republicans seem to stand for "Everyone for themselves!" and "Privatised is always better!" is only one of the reasons I dislike Palin. Although the main reason is her willingness to believe disproven and idiotic theories. Which is what she's being mocked for here.

  29. @geekygirluk
    Sometimes you do get what you pay for and sometimes you don’t. There is little difference between Priority mail and 1st class. Also UPS and Fed-Ex are just as universally available.

    • Mark, you'll make an excellent conservative politician one day. When someone whips your ass in an argument, you nit pick over the details. All you need to do now is develop a deep hatred for any science that disagrees with your religious convictions, if you aren't there already.

  32. @Bruno
    I’m an athiest. Just because I don’t get offended when someone is Christian in public doesn’t mean I am one.
    @Marrock
    Have you noticed that I would rather debate people than just tell them to shut up?

  33. @hijinksensue
    I agree with your last comment. You’re funny most of the time.

    Thank’s for putting up with my ass.

  35. I don't get how people like to dog on the insane clown posse there musicians just like any other artist just because they paint up like clowns and call us fans juggalo's and juggalette's the greatful dead called there fans deadheads and kiss calls there fans the kiss army which by the way kiss paints there faces too wow i don't see people dogging on them and making fun of there songs Miracles are every ware the birth of my kids the way life works its all a miracle pull your stuck up heads out of your asses get real lives and quit wasting time on making fun of people who aren't you but are far more successful then you that my friends is called jealousy Ive been a JUGGALO since i was 7 i'm 21 married and i have two beautiful sons i grew up around kiss fans deadheads and underground music nobody has ever judged me or made fun of my lifestyle if what i say bothers you all or anyone who reads this ill leave my email

  38. holy crap. I thought this was some kind of elaborate massive multiplayer scam, but I just saw the video and there is actually the line “fucking magnets, how do they work? I don’t want to talk to a scientist” in there…

    Currently watching the lobotomy scene from “pi” in a loop. Feeling better soon. Yeees, remove that brain…

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