JoCo Cruise Crazy 3 Guest Fortnight saunters onward with this melancholy offering from David Willis, creator of Shortpacked!, Dumbing Of Age and a comic he made a decade or more ago and is somehow convincing people to read all over again just to get perspective on the backstories of his current comics. I know your game, Willis, and… it’s genius. Starting next month in addition to HijiNKS ENSUE, you’ll be able to read HijiNKS High School: The Flannel Years. Of course none of it will make sense unless you read my OTHER comic Little HijiNKS Babies. I’m sure you’ll enjoy the “content” as much as I enjoy “your page views” and the resulting “ad revenue.” GOD DAMN YOU WILLIS YOU MAD GENIUS!!!

Funny Star Trek Parody Shirt, Funny Tees, Geeky Shirts, Nerd Shirts, The Next Generation, Commander Riker, Riker's Beard T-Shirt

I made a bunch of shirts and put them on the internet for to you buy. Wil Wheaton helped.

David and his wife Maggie (the lady in the comic above) were on the last JoCo Cruise with us. It was one of the best weeks of my entire life, thanks in no small part to the company of those two. The fact that they aren’t coming this time around (DAVID, WHY ARE YOU TRICKING PEOPLE INTO READING THREE BULLSHIT COMICS IF YOU AREN’T GOING TO BUY YOURSELF LAVISH VACATIONS?!?!?!) is going to increase the number of rum punches I must ingest each day in order to have fun. When they were with us, I only needed 5 or 6 rums punched. I’m expecting that number to increase exponentially as I continue to realize they will not be miraculously showing up on the boat halfway through the week. In my mind there’s a low rumble, the ship starts to shake, we run to the bow to see what’s going on and there, on the helipad lands Astrotrain. David and Maggie hop out, deliver a well timed “PSYCHE!” accompanied with pistol fingers. We all laugh and take turns dunking each other in the rum punch filled hot tub. Well, at least David and I do. I have no idea what our wives are doing. Scissoring, one would suspect. Who cares? DAVID, I MISS YOU!!!

By the time you read this it will be Tuesday, day three of the cruise. I expect most of my blood will have been replaced with alcoholic sea water by this point (a VERY EXPENSIVE spa treatment you can only order off the secret menu). I think we’ll be on an island this day, which means I can make a sand David to cradle and love and have gritty, seaweedy makeouts with.

On a side note, the comic above is one of the funniest god damn things I have ever read. It almost makes me feel not too bad about recently learning that I am not, in fact, a real person who is NOT a block of splintery wood. There are SO MANY LEVELS. A lot of it is just for me, but there are at least 4 levels that you should be able to enjoy. The title alone is at least 2 kinds of double secret meta. Thank you for this deftly crafted (though I’m sure it took you maybe 30 minutes… CURSE YOUR STUPID FINGER SPEED!) love letter. I promise I will EAGLE you when I see you in Seattle in a few weeks.

EAGLE!!!

COMMENTERS: Do you have any stories about VACATION BROS? People you only see when you’re both out of your natural element? Do they enhance the experience or do you dread seeing them? This is sort of how it is with traveling to conventions all year. Since every time I see my cartoonist friends, we are typically not in our home city it’s sort of like a frequent, weekend long summer camp. I’m sharing a hotel with David in Seattle soon. I’m going to skip the “hand in the warm water” prank and just pee on his lap while he’s sleeping.