All Thai’d Up In Bangkok

Alternate Titles: “Thai a Yellow Ribbon ‘Round the Old Oak Tree,” “Babes in Thailand” and… well, anything else with “bang and kok”

In poor tastse? Probably. Too soon? Sure. Whatever.

I stand by my “everything is funny or nothing is” philosophy. If we can’t laugh at death, death wins. Plus, if we can’t laugh at a death that involved being found in a Bangkok hotel room with your neck, hands and genitals bound, then all is lost.

Wizard Pride Shirt

Wizard Pride Shirt

I know there is an ongoing investigation to find out if foul play was involved in David Carradine’s death, but I think it’s pretty clear what happened. The internet has taught me about all the crazy ways people enjoy their own jigglies and what not. Mr. Carradine seems to have traded kung-fu for auto-erotic asphyxiation. He went a little too far and the worst happened.

If you have to tie up your balls to get off, more power too you. If you need a large woman in a Strawberry Shortcake outfit to hold a butane torch dangerously close to your buttox while you furiously masturbate to 1980’s tractor pulls on VHS, I say go for it. Consenting adults should be able to sex each other up however they like as long as no one else is hurt.  But, I think it’s safe to say, regardless of how you abuse your baby-makers, you probably don’t want to die mid-said-abuse and forever be remembered as “that guy that died doing that odd sexual thing to himself with that leaf blower and the water melons.”

If you believe Carradine’s ex-wife, he was a depraved old bastard obsessed with sexual deviance who liked to grope her in public against her wishes. That sounds pretty awful but I don’t know the situation personally so I can’t really make a judgment call. I have to sympathize with the dude if only for the Richard Geeresque tainting of his legacy.

Maybe it was murder. Who knows? Maybe the only hope for survival after  a tall, blond woman all clad in yellow uses the Five Point Palm Exploding Heart Technique on you is you restrict the blood flow to your hands, head and balls. Let’s go ahead and pretend that was the case. Ya’ know… out of respect.

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    • I wasnt going to do this comic thinking maybe it crossed the line. Then I told Josh the idea and he threw up out of his nose. Thats a seal of approval I cant ignore.

      • make a comic of it, or upload this comic with a little riboon with an image of josh threwing up of his nose. "Josh's nose seal of approbal!"

  1. Joel sad/frightened eyes in the final panel are bringing tears to my eyes.

    Also, because I am apparently horribly illiterate, I misread "Richard Geeresque tainting" as "Richard Gere's taint" which somehow also felt appropriate.

  2. I'm just wondering, if he did do it himself, how did he tie up his own neck genitals and HANDS? And have still been able to hang himself in a closet. Even double jointed that's difficult shit to accomplish. I'm just sayin'.

    • I didnt post a link because it was on TMZ (and I want them to burn) but apparently those in the know say tying up your own hands is quite easy and part of the routine. Either that or theres a bangkok hooker who "didnt see anything"

      • Well, then I forgive you for not posting it. Tying up your hands is pretty easy, I'm just saying that it's a helluva combo to accomplish.

        Maybe that hooker "saw too much" and that's why this is still a mystery.

  3. Unless it turns out foul play was involved then I don't think it's too soon. You don't do that auto-erotic asphyxiation stuff and expect respect if it (likely eventually will) kills you.

    Yeah, I'm insensitive.

    But still R.I.P. Carradine.

  4. Much as I love Joel's extra shiny eyes in panel 4 (the v-shaped cutouts in the pupils are especially win), it's panel 2 that I love. Without reservation, I truly do!

  5. I actually don't think it's too embarrassing, if you think about it. He died the way he lived. He didn't go get some hookers in Thailand and cheat on his wife. He was just doing some crazy sex stuff.

  6. His Lung Fu was weak, but his Hung Fu was strong!

    hehehe heh hehe you said taint hehe heh hehehe

    The Taint was behind it all!

  7. It's not difficult if you now how, actually. Autobondage is a pretty widespread kink, and there are a number of ways to go about it. Bondage plus breath control without someone else present to keep an eye on you just screams "not safe!" to me, though. It makes me wonder if someone else might have been present, but freaked out when he died and fled the scene. That's not unheard of, unfortunately.

  8. “Everything is funny or nothing is.”

    Too true, Joel. I remember that September evening in 2001, I sat through the entire episode of The Daily Show, hoping that even a single joke or wisecrach about the events of that day would happen, and everything would be okay the next day.

    But no such joke happened, and I spent the next year and a half waiting for the other shoe to drop. I finally realized that it was a mild case of PTSD when the Columbia broke up on reentry. It's sad that's what it took to shake my head clear.

  9. If it had been a standard died-in-his-sleep affair, I seriously doubt people would have even noticed. At least he'll be remembered. Not that the dead have much use for that.

  10. this is now David Carridine's legacy… forget all that Kung Fu nonsense, nope, it's now masturbating with a shoe string in a Bangkok hotel room closet.

  11. When I first saw the news, the article title read, "Proven an accident", so I was like, oh good, not suicide or overdose…

    Then I read the article… so much for dignity.

  12. “Everything is funny or nothing is.”

    maybe i'm misunderstanding, but i think i disagree. i thought the anti-semitic cartoon contest that a bunch of israelis did in response to iran's holocaust cartoon contest a few years back was hilarious and outrageous fun. everyone in jerusalem i spoke with loved it. and the winner of the iran contest was actually a popular cartoon in israel as well. but the holocaust cartoon renee engstrom posted to dr mcninja a while back was not funny, just full of hate. she apologized, they apologized and it's all good, i suppose, but no, it's not all funny. i know a lot of holocaust survivors who are suffering pretty badly and my feeling is that the naive person who utters such a statement has enjoyed an extremely privileged lifestyle, yet is not humble enough to realize or appreciate it. walk a mile in someone else's shoes. you are pretty funny and i love your comic, but – we all have learning to do.

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