In Loving Memory

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“The Doctor Is In” shirt based off the “You’re The Last of The Time Lords, Charlie Brown” comic is here!

HEY! Here’s a dumb thing I thought of on the couch last night. Heading off to see Bridesmaids with Josh. I hear it’s really good. Like sort of a “Lady Hangover” but not just for ladies. If this movie is a hit can we start calling it The Hangovaries?

Commenters: What other tattoos does Batman have? What about other super heroes? You figure Robin has to have a tramp stamp. The way he shakes that little ass around. Yeah, he knows what he’s doing.

Sn Sn

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“The Doctor Is In” shirt based off the “You’re The Last of The Time Lords, Charlie Brown” comic is here!

It has been said that the eyes are the windows to the soul. But when you are talking about far-too-realistic CGI humans, it is the teeth that reveal the hollowness within. It is the mouth, the lips and the tongue that take your mind from pleasant delight to abject horror. Sure, you might want to take the Polar Express to Santa’s Village, but as soon as that conductor utters, “All aboard,” you realize it’s a one way train to nightmare junction. You want to make a successful CGI animated film with biologically accurate humans? I have one word for you: mutes. Everyone is a mute. Think of how amazing Tron: Legacy would have been had CGI Jeff Bridges just kept his terror-mouth shut. I mean… when he talked, that shit was just chilling – unsettling. Seeing these digital doplegoblins speak just sets you ill at ease. Like if an unfamiliar 80 year old wisp of a woman in a wheelchair suddenly grabs your wrist and hisses, “Can I touch your haaairrrrr? I used to have sssuch pretty haaairrrr.” That shit will stone cold turn your spine to ICE!

Thanks to Gordon for tweeting something that made me think of this comic.

Conspiracy

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“The Doctor Is In” shirt based off the “You’re The Last of The Time Lords, Charlie Brown” comic is here!

Alternate Title: Look, Up In The Sky. It’s A Flightless, Tightless Bird!
Alternate Mad Magazine Title: The Red-Blue BLECH!

Ten years later and all I have to say is, “Fuck you Smallville. Fuck you right in the eye.” I posted something on Twitter about how watching the series finale of Smallville was like taking your last, tar-filled drag on the day they stopped making cigarettes. I think that about sums it up. I’ve always know it was bad for me, and no good could come from it. I knew that I was hurting myself and, more importantly, the ones I loved by indulging in such a self-destructive habit week after week. The only way I was able to break free of its toxic hold on my life was to surrender the choice to a higher power. Namely the CW executives that cancelled the show. They have cut off the supply chain for this particular brand of poison and relieved me of the need for personal courage or strength. I am still a broken shell of a man, but at least I can’t continue to feed the monkey on my back. His banana boat has sailed… Ok, that metaphor was pretty weak, but you get the point.

I was going to write something about how you shouldn’t mourn Smallville (even for the guilty pleasure) in the same way you don’t mourn the passing of someone who’s been ravaged by cancer for a decade. When the end comes you are just happy they aren’t suffering any more. Then I realized Smallville wasn’t the patient… I was. Smallville was the disease. Then I got sad. Then I ate some cookies. There was a whole shame-spiral thing.

Regarding the above comic: The timeline is pretty weird right? I mean I know it’s a total coincidence, by damn. Two great evils, two pock marks on our nation, filling our hearts and minds with fear, existing side by side for almost exactly the same ten year span. That shit is bizarre.

Another thing: My friend Sam revealed his next, groundbreaking project in this blog post, which I had a small part in creating at TCAF. It is both terrifying and your new favorite internet thing.

COMMENTERS: We are talking about doing an All-Smallville podcast this week. Sort of a soul-colonic to rid our bodies of the toxins left by a decade of exposure to radioactive sadness. If you have topics or questions you would like addressed in the comments, feel free to post them there. Otherwise, feel free to post anything you like about Smallville in general or the finale. Finale spoilers are fine. This is a safe place.

!!!COMMENTS MAY CONTAIN SPOILERS FOR THE SMALLVILLE SERIES FINALE!!!

Blu-Ray Harvest – Episode II: Rerelease Of The Jedi

TORONTO: I AM COMING FOR YOU! TCAF is this weekend!
I will be at table 222 (with Topatoco) on the 2nd floor Saturday 5/7 and Sunday 5/8. I will have books 1 and 2 (and I will draw dumb things in them for you), stickers, buttons, prints (probably a “The Doctor Is In” print), and maybe a couple of shirts.

“The Doctor Is In” shirt based off the “You’re The Last of The Time Lords, Charlie Brown” comic is here!

Alternate Title: He Is Your Remaster Now

Part 1 of this comic is HERE and was published almost exactly one year ago.

It’s the forth of May. Outdoor f… lightsaber battles start today. The street date for Star Wars: The Complete Essential Masterclass Compendium Edition on Blu-ray has been set for mid September, which means (like Josh) many of you will be purchasing Star Wars for the 4th or 5th time. Let’s count’em up: There was the laser disc set, the VHS special editions, the DVD of 1,2 and 3, the Super special edition DVD’s of the classic trilogy (4, 5 and 6), the unaltered original trilogy DVD’s (in which the un-fucked with films were considered “bonus material”), The Prequel Trilogy and Original Trilogy box sets (the “all new box art” only versions mentioned in the comic above), and The Complete Saga on Blu-Ray (with the promise of 3D to come). I think “buying Star Wars again” is the “buying The White Album” for our generation.

This new set has over 40 hours of bonus material, much of which has never been seen before. I think it was Rick McCallum that said something like “we keep finding daylies and alternate takes you people have never seen, so we keep adding them in, blah blah, whatever.” It seems less like they are actually discovering new footage and behind the scenes footage and more like they are seeing evidence of its existence on the Periodic Table of Star Wars. It’s like they look at the holes on the table and start postulating which “making of’s” and bits of b-roll have the precise atomic mass to site between a 6 hour documentary about Anthony Daniels getting into his brass unitard, and a behind the scenes vignette called “Who Really Shot First? Who Really Cares Anymore?”

COMMENTERS: Are you going to buy Star Wars again? Why or why not? What other formats might future generations enjoy Star Wars on [read the alt-text]? Why else may be included? More features, more documentaries, more films?

The Second Time Around

“The Doctor Is In” shirt based off the “You’re The Last of The Time Lords, Charlie Brown” comic is here!

I hope you enjoy this very unusual thing my brain (and subsequently my body) did in the wee hours of the night. I started trying to write a comic about how Megan Fox was ejected from Transformers 3: The Wall (presumably for NOT buffing Michael Bay’s Ferrari with her own buttocks slathered in Professor Explosionheimer’s Patented Gluteus Auto-Balm), but I couldn’t see to… care? Yeah, that’s the thing I wan’t able to do.

As it turned out I cared a lot more about 90’s family sitcom character-inconsistencies than the fate of Ms. Fox. I guess I’m really growing up. Speaking of, why did Uncle Jessie change his last name from Cochran to Katsopolis. If he was dodging the INS, that seems like the opposite way to go.

COMMENTERS: If you saw the trailer for Transformers: Tales From The Darkside, feel free to comment on it or offer an alternate subtitle for it, as we once did with the Spider-Man musical. After seeing last week’s Doctor Who, I have a feeling The Doctor had something to do with that spaceship crashing on the moon. You can also remind us of your most nagging sitcom weirdnesses if you like.