Hall H-E-Double Hockey Sticks

Wil and I made you a Sparks McGee T-Shirt! 

sparks mcgee t-shirt wil wheaton sharksplode

Confused? Of course you are! Read up on Sparks McGee and his awesome adventures.

Big thanks to my friend David for both creating Vampire Dog and not protesting too much when I told him I was stealing his idea and using it for a comic that he would also be in whether he wanted to or not. Here are some of David’s Vampire Dog tag lines:

  • This dog is man’s best fiend.
  • Vomits up your blood, then eats it again.
  • This dog really knows how to roll over and play UNDEAD.

I have lots of complicated feelings and opinions about San Diego Comicon. I recently did a write up on my Tumblr called “Everything I know about North American comic conventions.” Here’s what I had to say about SDCC:

SDCC (San Diego): Creators avoid at all costs. Fans? Go for it. Stand in line for 12 hours to see a panel and have a great time. This show is 100% about Hollywood blockbusters and 100% NOT about comics. Every artist I know hates it and threatens to never go back, but the first time you don’t go you lose your booth forever. And I do mean FOREVER. There is no space left and the waiting list is hundreds if not thousands long. It’s a deplorable mess for a guy like me. Sales aren’t as good as ECCC or Pheonix but costs are more than twice as high. It’s a status thing. I kind of hope it goes away or at least individual artists just stop going. Let Hollywood have it. That’s all any of the fans are spending money on anyway. The only reason to go to SDCC for me is to see my friends (All of whom dont want to be there), and for the offiste activities like w00tstock, Geek and Sundry and Nerd HQ, etc. The rest is a fucking nightmare.

I should add to that, the readers and fans I’ve met at SDCC have been some of the most supportive and gracious of any show I’ve ever done and I REALLY don’t want to diminish how special it is to get to meet them face to face, do sketches for them, talk about geek stuff and carve out a happy little shared experience in the midst of the geek world’s most unbearable “clusterfart.”

COMMENTERS: What’s the longest you’ve ever waited in line for something? A movie, a book release, a video game, a concert, a con panel? Was the wait worth it?

Comments (42)

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Zelda: Ocarina of Time pre-order.

I was the first person in the store. But the delivery wasn’t unpacked yet. They told me to come back in a half hour. (I came back in 15) to a store with 20 customers. Apparently, they never organized the pre-sale slips and they were just tossed into a box. The store continued to fill up so quickly that they had to from a line outside. So they grabbed a random slip from the box and called out the name. If there was no answer, they grabbed another slip.

This went on for four hours and I was one of the unlucky ones that was one of the last ten called. >:(

Stephen's avatar

Stephen · 101 weeks ago

So. Which is higher on the list: Teaching David how to curse, or finding out when the vampire dog panel is?

I think the longest I’ve waited in line was either for the Wii on Black Friday, or for Borderlands 2 the night it came out. Both at Gamestop.

MichaelH's avatar

MichaelH · 101 weeks ago

I went there too! Didn’t wait four hours, instead my friend and I grabbed food first, then joined the queue somewhere back in Islington…maybe it was Camden… long queue anyway. Very worth it!
I’ll be there exclusively to see the innependents. Yo.
Dave's avatar

Dave · 101 weeks ago

While this is a post where I’m going to say “Well I’m not like that” I want to be clear that I am NOT saying that what you say about comic-con is wrong. My Anecdote != Data. What this post IS trying to say is “Hey all you other comic-con go-ers… why not try to attack the con this way… you’ll have more fun! I promise”

I avoid Hall H and ballroom 20 like the plague. Truth is they’re just not worth it. Do I love Sherlock? Absolutely. Am I super excited for Agents of SHIELD? Oh you bet I am. Would it be a blast to see Matt Smith’s final con as Dr. Who? Oh you betcha.

But if I am to see any of those things I have to give up a huge chunk of my life in line, and even more watching panels for bad teen romances from the CW. All to get maybe 10 minutes of sneak preview footage, 20 minutes of honest to goodness awesomesauce, and 30 minutes of awkward questions from the fans promptly dodged by the folks on stage.

Friends, Neighbors, fellow con-goers, let me tell you that this is NOT worth it. At a certain point the OMG I AM IN THE SAME ROOM AS ROBERT DOWNEY JR wears off and you realize he’s just another dude. An awesomely cool dude who is charismatic and fun, but he’s a dude. You miss out on SO MUCH in order to ‘see’ him. Let’s be honest, more than likely you’re watching him on projected screens above the room. You lose out on so much to get those 20 minutes of awesome.

And then the convention floor… holy god is it crazy on the Hollywood side. My wife won’t even go. If we want to go see artist’s alley we leave the floor, walk down the front of the convention center, and come back in to avoid the massive flustercluck that is the hollywood booths. It’s so insanely crowded and people go so crazy over the chance to get a free sharpie that they’ll run you down… again, not worth it.

Here’s what we do: We hit the small press pavilion. HARD. We’ll wander up and down those aisles 4 or 5 times through the week. We hit the webcomics guys. There’s your chance to meet a real person. You’re not watching them on a screen while they’re 100 yards away surrounded by thousands of other people… they’re right in front of you making awkward small talk with you directly. You can buy something where your purchase MEANS something.

When we want to see a panel we look for something we’ve never done before. Something we’ve never seen before. Something way outside of our sphere.

The magic of the Con is experiencing your passion AND being exposed to someone elses’. There is SO MUCH passion at the con and none of it is to be found in the Hollywood panels. Those are carefully crafted commercials. Find something you have a passing interest and check out the amazing passion some people have for it. Learn some new detail you’ve never even thought of before. It’s a TON of fun and only costs you 1 hour none of which is spent in line.

If you must get the hollywood experience, why not check out some of the unique events they create outside of the con. The offsite Godzilla event looks pretty cool. The Tron arcade Disney put up was far superior than any panel they ever did. One time Adult Swim put together a skate party (with busses to take you to a roller rink to skate with Seth Green).

I can’t tell you how many friends of mine I have had fly in from across the nation to stay at my place and go to Comic-con and how many leave disappointed because they kicked and clawed and scratched to get into Hall H or Ballroom 20 and in the end came out frustrated, annoyed, and underwhelmed.

comic-con is what you want it to be. Every single kind of nerd passion is there. You don’t have to single out the big ones.

Oh and to answer the question, I once waited 3.5 hours to ride “Batman the Ride” at Six Flags Magic Mountain right after it opened. Totally wasn’t worth it. I also waited an hour for Star Wars Phantom Menace on opening night. That was worse than getting my head banged around by a gigantic metal contraption.

1 reply · active 101 weeks ago

You speak the truth, but having been to so many cons I can assure you and everyone else that “The magic of the Con is experiencing your passion AND being exposed to someone elses’. ” is available at MUCH better, MUCH less insane, MUCH less hollywood focussed cons all over the country. Emerald City in Seattle is a great place to start.
I need to believe that despite being from two different comic universe, Vampire Dog is a spin-off from Dog Cops from Hawkguy.
Also I think the longest I’ve waited for something was for entrance into the wand shop in the Harry Potter theme park. It was August and sweltering and it was worth it.
HikingViking's avatar

HikingViking · 101 weeks ago

I camped out overnight for Star Wars Episode I. That’s right. I spent the night waiting to see Jar Jar Binks. Was it worth it? Meesa don’t thinkie so.

3 replies · active 99 weeks ago

Yousa people gonna have life long regrets?
lou's avatar

lou · 101 weeks ago

I don’t. I’m over whatever shame or disappointment watching the prequels may have induced. The key is just not watch them for a few years, then ease yourself back in, one scene at a time.
I hear that.
Last year I also found and downloaded one of the “fan edits” of Ep 1. Almost no Jar Jar, no midichlorians, less senate floor, and nothing is “wizard.” It actually wasn’t a bad movie.
Rick's avatar

Rick · 101 weeks ago

Vampire Dog is actually a thing. But you knew that. (I knew that because I have kids, and kids have no taste.)

2 replies · active 101 weeks ago

I… I did not know this. I have to rethink everything in my life now.
Dave's avatar

Dave · 101 weeks ago

Seconded. I know HE had a rough con last year, but a serious part of that had to do with Blind Ferret’s booth layout. Please tell me that this year you’ll have it set up so that more than one person can get ‘inside’ and look at the merch? I gave up trying to see your stuff after 3 times passing by.
We have a different booth this year that should be larger and laid out more sensibly.
It’s certainly not a giant fuck you to anyone but the organizers of the con. And, Im sorry, but its not your home town convention. It’s something else entirely. It’s a domed city that forms once a year and exists for a brief while like Brigadoon.
You might enjoy TCAF. it’s SUPER small and free and in a library. A bit too artsy for my audience to show up in droves but ive never heard of a bad experience there.

Ill be at Fan Expo again. You should come say hi.

My wife and I (correction, my 8 months pregnant wife and I) slept outside of a Target for probably 10 hours for a Wii. It was… not worth it.
I hope it will be a bit better in that (a) all the webcomics are together; (b) you’re near the Small Press Pavillion for synergy; (c) you should be out of line up range of the long lines for video games and autographs; and (d) you’re not in the path to any cafeteria line.

Good luck!

Rick's avatar

Rick · 101 weeks ago

Mummy + Tumbler = Mumbler

2 replies · active 101 weeks ago

Neph Sy's avatar

Neph Sy · 101 weeks ago

I waited and slept in line on cement for 19 hours for the yearly opening of the student employment centre, and it snowed (this was May 1st!).
It was worth it, as I got first crack at a government job (they only let a small number of people apply for these government student jobs), which I kept for 3 years while going to school. I should never had admitted that I was going to graduate.
Other than that, can’t think of anything beyond standing in line outside in the heat for 1 hour to but tickets for Return of the Jedi
I used to go to SDCC long ago, first for fun (before it became so crowded) and then for work (I was in animation).

I miss aspects of it, but the crowds, inability to see panels because of said crowds and the crowds drive me nuts.

Really if I think about it, I miss lunch with friends I never get to see otherwise and meeting creators LIKE you Joel.

Then again, if I got off my ass for say NYC CC or whatever it’s called when you were there, I could take care of some of that.

I’m still grinning at BOX PUNCH.
lou's avatar

lou · 101 weeks ago

I waited 5 hours in line to see quite a few movies at their midnight premieres. Well, “line” a loose term, because the waiting areas outside the cinemas weren’t very organized. If there’s time and someplace is still open, you could grab a bite to eat somewhere in the shopping center (all the cinemas where I live are attached to a shopping center or mall, so your dinner is just a short walk away). Strangely, it’s cheaper than theater snacks!
anxiety.junkie's avatar

anxiety.junkie · 101 weeks ago

When my husband (then boyfriend) and I lived in Reno, we spent over 4 hours waiting inside a club with no chairs to see Loverboy. (Yes, Loverboy.) I didn’t want to be there. After the 2nd hour I tried to get him to leave but he wouldn’t. At one point I saw a 6ft, 300+ lb woman in a full body fishnet stocking and a giant blond wig walk by.

They were 4 hours late, and then didn’t apologize or anything, just started playing. As I hatehatehate Loverboy, it was not worth it. (And I still married the guy…)

Chaucer59's avatar

Chaucer59 · 100 weeks ago

Four hours in the Texas sun saving places for my (step)daughter and her friends so try could get in to see Lemony Snicket. The girls were all eleven and twelve and I really thought I was just holding their place. My wife’s little Ariel had read all of Lemony Snicket’s Series of Unfortunate Events. I’d read a couple of the books to see what the brouhaha was. They were okay–nothing all that funny IMHO, but I was over 40. When the line started moving, though, Ariel gave me that baby seal look and said “But, Dennis, aren’t you coming in with us?” *Sigh* I’m easy. I was also surprised by the show. The man put on a hilarious show. He had the adults laughing as hard as the kids. So, yeah, definitely worthwhile.
PowderMonkey's avatar

PowderMonkey · 100 weeks ago

Vampire Dog? Definite contender for 2013 Unfortunate Initals of the Year. Especially if you’re going to use the word ‘panel’ in conection with him – or is this all a thinly veiled public health initiative for the over-enthusiastic cos-players (“Yeah! Waited 6hrs for the V.D. Panel! You want to swab up my what now?!”)
bowtiesarecool's avatar

bowtiesarecool · 100 weeks ago

4 hours for the re-release of the original Star Wars trilogy, now with blinking Ewok eyes! I was first in line, and got a #1 written on a piece of paper. Very official…
ian's avatar

ian · 100 weeks ago

2 hours in a line at PAX for the wil wheaton panel because i was too tired for anything else. I think it was during the pax pox outbreak year

Now It’s Time To Leave The Capsule If You Dare

THE END, FOREVER… of this storyline!

I should probably mention that I will be at San Diego Comicon this year with Blind Ferret and Something*Positive at booth #1231. I will have books and shirts and prints and sketches and a look on my face like, “WHAT IS EVEN GOING ON THIS WHOLE SITUATION IS OUT OF CONTROL WHY DO THEY EVEN CALL THIS A CON WHY NOT JUST CALL IT FUCK YOU?!?!?”

66e0397be18704e82e246b727f349807

COMMENTERS: If a post-apocalyptic future group of nomadic wasteland types had only one movie to base a belief system and eventually a society around, which should it be and why? Don’t say Galaxy Quest, because that would be so meta the Omega 13 would collapse on itself.

Comments (52)

Is Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure too meta also?

1 · active 97 weeks ago

How about “The Gods Must Be Crazy”? That’s pretty meta too.
Djorra's avatar

Djorra· 99 weeks ago

Probably 2001: A Space Odyssey.

1 · active 99 weeks ago

Jane's avatar

Jane· 99 weeks ago

Can’t be. That makes too much sense.
Oh yay! I was wondering if you were going to be at SDCC but wasn’t going to ask since I have heard you not love it. But, I missed you the last time I went and I’m going again this year! Booth noted!

1 · active 99 weeks ago

I love the people and I love the readers and I love the friends, but the con…. webcomics are not the reason people go to SDCC. We’re almost in the way.
Outis's avatar

Outis· 99 weeks ago

I would really like to see the Religion that would develop out of Monty Pythons Meaning of Life

2 replies · active 99 weeks ago

lou's avatar

lou· 99 weeks ago

Or do you mean Life of Brian?
Faye's avatar

Faye· 99 weeks ago

I honestly expected the first Python reference to be Life of Brian, good pick with Meaning of Life!
MrPlow99's avatar

MrPlow99· 99 weeks ago

I’ll have to go with Dogma since they specifically advocate against belief systems in the movie. So then you’d have a belief system based upon not having a belief system.

3 replies · active 99 weeks ago

lou's avatar

lou· 99 weeks ago

Now THAT would cause a universe-collapsing paradox.
HandiGoat's avatar

HandiGoat· 99 weeks ago

Isn’t that basically Nihilism?
HikingViking's avatar

HikingViking· 99 weeks ago

If they ever do make that Arrested Development movie, that would probably get my vote. Terrifying tales of the Loose Seal breaking out across the wasteland. The chicken dance actually becoming an offensive gesture. “Hot Patato” becoming the national anthem, or scattered tribe anthem I guess. But even better than that would be a postapocalyptic movie that mentions the “good old days”, but never shows what they were. Because how awesome would that be? Imagine if you found a movie that showed life like it is today, but always referenced how great things were “before the fall.” What the hell would that mean? “Oh, we had a cure for AIDS before the fall” someone would say forlornly. What the hell does that even mean?
The Big Lebowsky. Just imagine them building statues of The Dude…., their appointed leaders all growing beards and wearing bathrobes everywhere…, and their greatest law would be “Ho not piss on another man’s rug”
inkstud's avatar

inkstud· 99 weeks ago

Dumb and Dumberer
Mysterious Stranger's avatar

Mysterious Stranger· 99 weeks ago

Showgirls.

1 · active 99 weeks ago

[ACTUAL LOL]
Liam's avatar

Liam· 99 weeks ago

One of those Friedberg and Seltzer movies.
That guy's avatar

That guy· 99 weeks ago

Airplane.
“Surely, you’re not serious?” “Yes and don’t call me Shirley.”
Katie's avatar

Katie· 99 weeks ago

Romy and Michelle’s High School Reunion. Because I’d like to imagine a post-apocalyptic church all simultaneously shouting, “I’m the Mary! I’m the Mary!” And then ending each service with a crazy dance to Time After Time. They’d also know the recipe for glue.

Reruns of the Mary Tyler Moore Show and Rhoda would be their Dead Sea Scrolls.

Candace's avatar

Candace· 99 weeks ago

Rocky Horror Picture Show. Enough said.
The Lion King; think about it. Hakuna Matata is a mantra in and of itself.
Okay, I won’t say Galaxy Quest… the Last Action Hero.
Batman1016's avatar

Batman1016· 99 weeks ago

Cloud Atlas. How’s that meta for you? A post-apocalyptic society based on a film about a post-apocalyptic society based on a the writings of a clone with a worldview based on a film about freedom from persecution and imprisonment, based on the life of an old man . . . etc, etc.

Course, with my luck, PA society will be based on some shite Tim Burton flick or the Twilight series. Just a planet full of emo jagoffs who worship Johnny Depp and Stephenie Meyer.

Ralph Bakshi’s Wizards?

1 · active 99 weeks ago

Or Fritz the cat. The black crow would be the first marytr.
YoYo_lax's avatar

YoYo_lax· 99 weeks ago

The music video to Rick Astley’s “Never Gonna Give You Up.”

You just got trolled future scattered remnants of humanity on the brink of extinction. So take that.

1 · active 99 weeks ago

YoYo_lax's avatar

YoYo_lax· 99 weeks ago

Scratch that, “The Warriors.” Thus ensuring an irrational fear of bottles and 80’s hair bands.
Bron's avatar

Bron· 99 weeks ago

I’m really supprised no one has said the princess bride yet…..

So that or Blues Brothers (the initial film obviously….)

Presumably suggesting “The Passion of the Christ” would be a bit too meta aswell 😉
bubujin_2's avatar

bubujin_2· 99 weeks ago

“Pleasantville” would do the trick me thinks.
Faye's avatar

Faye· 99 weeks ago

Serenity: because at least they’ll understand the references to Earth That Was.
DuckAmuck's avatar

DuckAmuck· 99 weeks ago

Good god, people. The answer is obviously Army of Darkness.

Everyone goes to bed at night saying “Klattu Beratta Necktie” and wonders why they have nightmares. “It’s a trick, get an axe” is the standard greeting. Every kid hopes they get the chainsaw hand for Boom-stick-mas.

Ceri's avatar

Ceri· 99 weeks ago

Zardoz. Yeah, you heard me.
Chaucer59's avatar

Chaucer59· 99 weeks ago

Has to be tge Big Lebowski. The priest stands over the baptismal font as the initiate is pushed in, backwards, fully clothed; whereupon the priest casts the wild ferret into the tub. As the ferret (having been fed peyote) tries to claw through the initiates chest, he cries out, “Get this fucking marmot offa me!” The parishioners respond, “Get this fucking marmot offa me!” As two deacons roll the initiate into a rug, the priest’s assistant, dressed as a Valkyrie, is lowered on wires onto the altar and rolls her bowling ball into the assembly.

“The Dude abides,” saith the priest.

“The Dude abides,” respond the parishioners.

Alan Grayson's avatar

Alan Grayson· 99 weeks ago

I’m surprised no Fight Club but if I was taking this seriously I’d say Into Great Silence because they haven’t made of movie of A Canticle for Leibowitz yet (and too bad theres no movie of Phillip K. Dick’s Dr. Bloodmoney, or How We Got Along After the Bomb) but in my heart I say The Charlie Brown Christmas Special even though its technically not a movie.
Bryce's avatar

Bryce· 99 weeks ago

Alien
I’m going to be completely honest with you, Joel. If The Adventures of Spaag and Skeev were a webcomic, I would read it. I would read it every update. I would subscribe to the RSS Feed.

1 · active 99 weeks ago

runcibletune's avatar

runcibletune· 99 weeks ago

I really want to see them take the box back to Motherboss.
Allen's avatar

Allen· 99 weeks ago

Ghostbusters. The pantheon consists of everyone who’s ever been asked if they’re a god.

1 · active 99 weeks ago

lou's avatar

lou· 99 weeks ago

“Ray, if someone asks if you are a god, you say YES!” Words to live by.
lou's avatar

lou· 99 weeks ago

I say we follow Peter Griffin’s example and establish the Church of the Fonz. Imagine what kind of ceremony you’ll involve jumping over a shark for.
HandiGoat's avatar

HandiGoat· 99 weeks ago

I think it should be Mad Max, because future dystopian peoples deserve to get to high-five eachother knowing that they got it right.
Tony's avatar

Tony· 99 weeks ago

I’m going to throw what I think might be a curveball and suggest: Rosencrantz and Gldenestern are Dead.
AttilaThePBNun's avatar

AttilaThePBNun· 99 weeks ago

How about a Disney movie? “The Aristocats’; what would a society based on a cartoon movie about talking animals be like? Would they all be vegetarians? Expect for fish, of course. They’d eat fish ….
allen's avatar

allen· 99 weeks ago

This comic clearly is calling out for a Spaag and Skeev spin-off series.
lou's avatar

lou· 99 weeks ago

I just love comic-Eli’s insane optimism, even in the face of logic and there’s easier ways to do things. Is he like this all the time?

What We Leave Behind

CLOSEOUT SALE in the HE Store is still going on! 

These shirts are marked down to $14.95 and leaving the HE Blind Ferret Store for good!

Team EdwardEwok StareShow Us On The TrilogyWinter Is Coming and Sci-Five
Ladies versions of these shirts are on sale too!

These shirts are marked down to $9.95!

OvipositorUnicorn PoopAnd My Axe (Ladies), SyFy Movie Title Generator and British Knights

COMMENTERS: What goes in your cultural time capsule? Please chose 3 movies (1 comedy, 1 drama, 1 dumb action), 3 TV series (1 drama, 1 comedy and 1 British), 3 music albums (1 you love now, 1 you loved when you were younger, 1 you are uncertain as to why you ever loved because it’s truly terrible), and feel free to toss in some books or whatever.

Comments (38)

Movies: A Fish Called Wanda, Synecdoche New York, Die Hard
TV: The Wire, Seinfeld, Monty Python’s Flying Circus
Music: Haunted (Poe), This Year’s Model (Elvis Costello), ???
Books (drama, comedy, nonfiction): House of Leaves by Mark Danielewski, Catch-22 by Joseph Heller, Consider the Lobster by David Foster Wallace
🙂 The Name of the Wind is great! The Wise Man’s Fear is even better. 🙂
Movies:
Monty Python & The Holy Grail, Following, Punisher: War Zone (you did say dumb)

TV:
Battlestar Galactica, Firefly, Spaced

Music:
Marcus Miller – Renaissance, NOFX – White Trash Two Heebs And A Bean, Korn – Follow The Leader (I may have to listen to this today to see why I don’t listen to it any more…)

Movies: Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, Fight Club, Marvel’s The Avengers

TV: The West Wing, Arrested Development, Downton Abbey

Music: Led Zeppelin IV, R.E.M. – Automatic for the People, ‘N Sync – No Strings Attached

Books: Sandman, American Gods, Ender’s Game, Hitchhiker’s Guide, The Hobbit/LotR

2 replies · active 100 weeks ago

Now that I look at it, those aren’t representative of my taste in TV at all. Throw in some BSG and DS9 as well. And RTD’s DW.
Candace's avatar

Candace· 100 weeks ago

American Gods is an awesome novel, as is everything from Gaiman!
Ceri's avatar

Ceri· 100 weeks ago

Hoh boy, this is gonna be tough…

Movies: Plan 9 From Outer Space (unintentional comedy, but hilarious and should be preserved), Once, Demolition Man

TV series: The West Wing, Pushing Daisies, Doctor Who

Music albums: Florence and The Machine: Between Two Lungs, Four Non Blondes: Bigger, Better, Faster, More!, and (I can’t believe I once liked this crap) Backstreet Boys: Backstreet’s Back.
(Disclaimer: I don’t buy/listen to a lot of albums, I just have an eclectic collection of songs from all ages on permanent shuffle.)

Movies: Dr. Strangelove, No Country For Old Men, Die Hard

Shows: Lost, Seinfeld, Doctor Who (duh)

Music: Bob Dylan – Blood On The Tracks, Metallica – Master Of Puppets, Genesis – Invisible Touch

Books: Jack Kerouac – The Dharma Bums

doko239's avatar

doko239· 100 weeks ago

Movies: Monty Python and the Holy Grail, The Usual Suspects, Pirates of the Caribbean

TV: Firefly, South Park, Dr Who

Music: Dark Side of the Moon and that’s about it (never been a big music buff)

Books (long list): Ender’s Game, Lord of the Rings, Shogun, Necronomicon, Neuromancer, the Game of Thrones series

Andy's avatar

Andy· 100 weeks ago

Movies: Super Troopers, Whats eating Gilbert Grape? and the greatest dumb action movie of all time – Demolition Man

TV: Game of Thrones, Buffy and The Young Ones

Music: Andrew W.K – I get Wet, Godzilla the Original Soundtrack and another copy of Godzilla the Original Soundtrack.

Books: The Wheel of Time series, Redwall series and a handful of Discworld books.

Movies: Shaun of the Dead, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, The Mummy (the Brendan Fraser version – I am not ashamed)

TV: M*A*S*H, Scrubs, Doctor Who

Music: Sigh No More by Mumford & Sons, Let it Go by The Clarks, Dru Hill/Sisqo (the early 2000s were a bad time)

Books (drama, comedy, nonfiction): World War Z by Max Brooks, Good Omens by Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett, On Writing by Stephen King

2 replies · active 100 weeks ago

Candace's avatar

Candace· 100 weeks ago

Brenda Fraser was totally hot in the Mummy movies – you should certainly not be ashamed!
He was hot, and those movies (the first 2, at least) were fun popcorn flicks.
Bouncing Boy's avatar

Bouncing Boy· 100 weeks ago

Movies: The Producers(The original), Casablanca and Flash Gordon (I’d say Hot Fuzz, but that’s more a smart action movie)

TV: Does MASH count as Drama? if so, I’ll say MASH for the Drama and Gilligan’s Island for Comedy…British is a tough one but I think I’m going to have to go with Monty Python’s Flying Circus (runners up for British include Blackadder, Black Books, QI, Green Wing, Doctor Who, Sherlock, Spaced, Jeeves and Wooster, The Catherine Tate Show and A Bit of Fry and Laurie)

Music: Young Frankenstein (Original Broadway Cast Recording), Even Worse by “Weird Al” Yankovic, and It’s a Bird, It’s a Plane, It’s Superman! (original Broadway Cast Recording)

Books: (since you didn’t give us categories I’ll make them up) Comedy: The Myth-Adventures of Skeeve and Aahz series by Robert Lynn Asprin, Drama: To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee, and Science Fiction: Fahrenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury

Katie's avatar

Katie· 100 weeks ago

Movies: Clue, Eternal Sunshine, Point Break

TV: Firefly, Cosby Show, Red Dwarf

Music: Bat for Lashes-Two Suns, Tori Amos-Under the Pink, Ace of Base-The Sign (I actually don’t think it’s terrible, I just wanted a fun one in there)

Books: (non-fiction) Joseph Campbell-The Power of Myth, (fiction) Kurt Vonnegut -Slaughterhouse Five, (other) Robert Frost poetry (or Emily Dickinson, can’t decide)

Movies: Bedazzled, Blade Runner, Ready To Rumble

TV: Babylon 5, The Kids in the Hall, The Tomorrow People

Music: …I just can’t decide, and there’s simply nothing in the third category.

Books: The complete Bloom County, Calvin and Hobbes and Girl Genius. (Hey, you didn’t say they had to be non-illustrated books…. 😉

4 replies · active 100 weeks ago

Candace's avatar

Candace· 100 weeks ago

I’m crushing your head – I’m crushing your head! 😀
I own all 5 seasons on DVD and when I do a re-watch I’m just amazed at their collective brilliance. Not every sketch worked, but the ones that did – O. M. G., the laughing and the sides hurting!
Oh, Babylon 5 is a great choice! Love that series.
I honestly don’t understand SF fans who don’t get it, but….
YoYo_lax's avatar

YoYo_lax· 100 weeks ago

Movies: Young Frankenstein, The Lord of the Rings trilogy (just Two Towers if only one is allowed), DOOM
TV: Any/ All of Joss Whedon’s shows (or Battlestar Galactica), Adventure Time, Trigger Happy TV
Music: Blackwater Park (Opeth) (alternatively any Dream Theater album), Poodle Hat (Weird Al), whichever Das Racist CD has “PIzza Hut and Taco Bell” on it.
Misc: Some Terry Pratchett, D@D rulebooks, and A Song of Ice and Fire (even the not yet written ones)
Movies: Monty Python and The Holy Grail, The Third Man and Predator.
TV: The Wire, The Venture Bros. and Fawlty Towers
Music: The National – Trouble Will Find Me; Rush – Moving Pictures, something by the Bee Gees
Candace's avatar

Candace· 100 weeks ago

Movies: “Monty Python’s Holy Grail,” “Highlander” (the first one), Lethal Weapon (the first one); TV series: Star Trek (TOS), Doctor Who (all), Saturday Night Live – original cast, and/or the Carol Burnett show, Monty Python’s Flying Circus and Fawlty Towers (or was that Farty Towels?); Albums: Abbey Road (then and now), Super Taranta! (Gogol Bordello), Shaun Cassidy eponymous (I blame it on pre-teen hormones); Books: The Three Musketeers, Jhereg (Steven Brust), Nine Princes in Amber (Roger Zelazny), LOTR, Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy.

There are actually a ton more albums, books and movies I like – the above is just what came to mind first.

1 · active 100 weeks ago

Candace's avatar

Candace· 100 weeks ago

Actually, for favorite dumb action movies, I should have said almost all pre-Daniel Craig Bond movies – especially the Roger Moore period.
Salvador's avatar

Salvador· 100 weeks ago

Movies: Airplane!, Clock Work Orange, Tango and Cash. TV: West Wing, Scrubs, Red Dwarf. Music: Antifogmatic by Punch Brothers, The Wall by Pink Floyd, No Need to Argue by The Cranberries.
prkantor's avatar

prkantor· 100 weeks ago

Movies – (comedy) – History of the World Pt 1, (drama) – Godfather Pts 1 & 2, (action) – Die Hard

TV Series – (drama) – ST-TNG, (comedy) – South Park, (british) – Doctor Who

Music Albums – (love now) – Pink Floyd – Dark Side of the moon, (loved when younger) – DJ Jazzy Jeff and the Fresh Prince – He’s the DJ, I’m the Rapper, (uncertain why ever loved, cause truly terrible) – Limp Bizkit – Chocolate Starfish and the Hotdog Flavored Water

Books – LotR trilogy incl Hobbit (JRR Tolkien), Stranger in a Strange Land (Robert Heinlein), Breakfast of Champions (Kurt Vonnegut), The Complete Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy (Douglas Adams), and a copy of the Torah

Unrelated, but Eli’s faces in the last two panels are fantastic.
IltmanIain's avatar

IltmanIain· 100 weeks ago

Films: Some Like It Hot, because nobody’s perfect. Kiss Me Deadly, What’s in the box? And dumb action film, Die hard 4.0 because we’ve all aged with John
Tv shows: as aBrit they will all be British so comedy; Ab Fab sweetie, drama; Dr Who of course, and finally The Avengers, the Honor Blackman years.
Music: Elephant by the White Stripes, the Rocky Horror Picture Show soundtrack and The Kinks Collected singles
Books: Right Ho Jeeves, the Lord of The Rings, and the complete Sherlock Holmes stories
Chaucer59's avatar

Chaucer59· 99 weeks ago

Hmm. Hey–uh, Joel? I’ve only just finished catching up on your webcomic. I’ve been pretty busy but I’ve spent every free minute for the past two weeks learning the ways of the Fancy Bastard. I gotta wonder, though, did something really bad happen that I missed? This was a really popular comic with a sizable following–maybe not as big as Willis or Corsetto, but big and cheerfully active. Somewhere around April of this year, the number of comments dropped considerably. This particular comic has been out for over a week, and mine is the first comment. WTF?

Also, I miss the photo comics. I thought the complainers were dead wrong on that score. In jokes or not, they were funny and provided genuine insight into webcomic artists’ mindsets.

1 · active 99 weeks ago

Ali's avatar

Ali· 99 weeks ago

You’re the first comment? Lawl, what universe are you operating in? Scroll up. I count 33 before you.
yodanic's avatar

yodanic· 99 weeks ago

The Ref, Serenity, Lethal Weapon 4 (drive thru – need I say more?)

Doctor Who (all of it), Coupling (British version), Sherlock (Cumberbatch), can I also have all the Star Trek series if I give up the music?

Films: Blazing Saddles, Serenity….action is hard because it’s my favourite genre….RED/Die Hard/Commando/Kung Fu Hustle – the list goes on!
TV: The Wire, Firefly (there’s enough comedy to justify this!)/South Park, Green Wing/Blackadder
Music: Essential Ella – timeless, Use Your Illusion 2, Hangin Tough – I was a 14y/o girl!
Books – I would have to throw everything else out and fill the capsule with books. The Gone-Away World (seriously, READ IT), the Name of the Wind. Every. Single. Terry Pratchett. All the Douglas Adams……can I have a bigger capsule?

The Story Of Us

CLOSEOUT SALE in the HE Store is still going on! 

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Comic Eli might pick Blazing Saddles as humanity’s most defining cultural work, but I have a feeling Eli IRL would probably go with something a little more rogue Russian submarine captain themed, if you know what I mean.

COMMENTERS: What’s the one movie that you feel sums up your sense of humor? What movie does someone have to get in order to get you? I’ve been wrestling with this question for a while and I’m not 100% certain what my answer would be. It might be UHF. I just might be.

Comments (66)

I’m not sure, maybe Spaceballs.
Though UHF is a damn good choice.
Candace's avatar

Candace· 100 weeks ago

Both worthy choices.
Bryce's avatar

Bryce· 100 weeks ago

I was going to use those two movies to ballpark mine as well. A mix of dark humor and sarcastic wit.
Meg Danger's avatar

Meg Danger· 100 weeks ago

The Rock. Always and forever.
Mr Anaglyph's avatar

Mr Anaglyph· 100 weeks ago

The Great Dictator (Charlie Chaplin)
Perhaps UHF, Spaecballs, Young Frankenstein and Batman
I would say GNFOS, but mostly because fake Eli already stole my real answer.

1 · active 100 weeks ago

halfway through googling that, I remembered what it was.
Cannibal: The Musical & Jesus Christ: Vampire Hunter. My best friend introduced me to the first, I showed her the latter, and we knew then we’d be BFFs.
Dave's avatar

Dave· 100 weeks ago

The Big Lebowski and The Hudsucker Proxy
pretty much anything Cohen Brothers… except maybe Ladykillers.

Long Live The Hud

Rabite's avatar

Rabite· 100 weeks ago

Anybody who disagrees with Blazing Saddles is a traitor to humanity.
Kier's avatar

Kier· 100 weeks ago

Silverado: You’re wearing my hat.
Candace's avatar

Candace· 100 weeks ago

Monty Python and the Holy Grail, and/or Young Frankenstein.

1 · active 100 weeks ago

I almost said “Grail” for mine, but I started thinking back to when and how those two movies affected me. I saw UHF when I was probably 8 years old and Weird Al was the very first introduction I ever had to comedy, parody, and popular music. His impact on my comedic sensibilities are tremendous. I saw Holy Grail when I was about 11 and it completely turned my brain upside down. I laughed longer and harder than I ever had up until that point in my short life. It completely opened my eyes to an entirely new way of looking at comedy and restructured the way I perceived what was funny from that point onward. Still, I dont think I would have been as susceptible to it, had I not had the foundation in comedy that I’d gotten from Al.
I feel the same way about The Dude, and if I’m being 100% honest, it is probably the comedic move that has the biggest correlation to what I consider funny TODAY. UHF might top my list since it had such an overall impact on what I considered funny as a child, but is also still funny to me today for completely different reasons. That said, every single time I see Lebowski I catch something, some subtle nuance that I hadn’t noticed before. It’s certainly in my top 3 “You must get these to get me” movies.
Megan's avatar

Megan· 100 weeks ago

Blazing Saddles, Big Lebowski and Anchorman are my holy trinity.

1 · active 100 weeks ago

Im SOOOOOOOO worried about the Anchorman sequel.
Real Men. “You never forget the first time you save the world”
See? You almost want to have a “cooler” answer, but you have to be honest with yourself.
Duck Soup.

Consequently, to some extent, Brain Donors.

1 · active 100 weeks ago

UnderTheDark's avatar

UnderTheDark· 100 weeks ago

Holy sh*tsnacks, I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone outside of my immediate family that’s even HEARD of Brain Donors!
it’s not well known, but I always recommend “The President’s Analyst”… a little dated but sums up the 1960s perfectly: American intelligence agencies fighting each other more than the Soviets, Telephone Company is the ultimate Big Bad – sorry, SPOILER – Freudian analysts, D.C. elites, hippies, suburban gun nuts, NOBODY is spared, plus a scifi angle that is just now coming true about ‘implantable telephones’ and the greatest line ever uttered in a movie “I’m NOT paranoid! You really ARE all spies!”

GO. FIND. IT. AND. WATCH.

oof. I would have been right there with you had I not rewatched it earlier this year. For me, it doesn’t hold up at all.
MichaelH's avatar

MichaelH· 100 weeks ago

Airplane! without a doubt.

1 · active 100 weeks ago

I would second Airplane wuth a side of Top Secret.

“I know a little German….He’s sitting right over there.”

Allen's avatar

Allen· 100 weeks ago

It’s probably a tossup between UHF and Ghostbusters.

2 replies · active 100 weeks ago

Allen's avatar

Allen· 100 weeks ago

And I should probably add in The Princess Bride.
FUCK! I hadn’t considered Ghostbusters. Yep. Add that one to the list.
Correct answer. Blazing Saddles is the best of movies. Nothing better than the scene where Slim Pickens is very nicely asking that Roger Korman “Hang that nigg** up by his neck until he was dead” just as sweet as he could be. Then Korman going outside and seeing the hangman from Robin Hood Men in Tights handing a man and his horse.
Batman1016's avatar

Batman1016· 100 weeks ago

“The Paper” by Stephen and David Koepp, directed by Ron Howard, and starring Michael Keaton, Glenn Close, Randy Quaid, Marissa Tomei, Robert Duvall, plus an ensemble cast of all-star extras. A day in the life of a slightly trashy New York Newspaper. A bit dated, pre-internet, but still awesome. Whedon-class dialog, lightning fast deadpan wit, and so many little subplots and throw-away one-liners that you can’t possibly catch everything in one viewing, or even two viewings. You MUST watch it repeatedly to see it all. So snarky and speedy and clever. One of the best movies ever made.

Also, “The Aristocrats.” Because I’m also a twisted bastard.

monkeymadness's avatar

monkeymadness· 100 weeks ago

The Room. If that doesn’t speak for the world, then I don’t know what we’ve become.
Ferris Bueller’s Day Off
Miggor's avatar

Miggor· 100 weeks ago

I would have to say Clerks. But I also highly recommend Eagle vs Shark, not a monster mashup movie as you might suspect, but technically a romcom. But far far better than a romcom.
Matt's avatar

Matt· 100 weeks ago

Heathers. Definitely Heathers.
bubujin_2's avatar

bubujin_2· 100 weeks ago

Meatballs is one of my all-time favorite fun-filled films. Probably ’cause I saw it when it first came out and was the first Bill Murray film I ever saw. Besides just being wicked funny, it really has a pretty sweet, uplifting story.
Bryan's avatar

Bryan· 100 weeks ago

I’m torn between Anchorman and GalaxyQuest.
Adam D.'s avatar

Adam D.· 100 weeks ago

Even though it’s an action Movie, I’d have to say the Fifth Element would probably be how the rest of the universe would see us, even through a comedic lens.

“We’re sending someone in to negotiate”
*BLAM BLAM*
“Anyone else want to negotiate?”

More comedy than anything else, you know that we’d settle all intergalactic differences with Bruce Willis and a big gun.

DuckAmuck's avatar

DuckAmuck· 100 weeks ago

Cartoons. Just cartoons. Not movies, just cartoons. Especially Looney Tunes and Merry Melodies from back in the day, but definitely not limited to that.
I was helped in this by The Simpsons, Family Guy, Venture Bros., et al., but it’s always been my thing. (The new Teen Titans Go is fabulous…)

If you think you’re “too grown up” for cartoons, I don’t have time for you.

Sophie’s Choice.
Wesley's avatar

Wesley· 100 weeks ago

It’s not a movie, but it’s definitely my sense of humour and not in the least because it so very well mimics the way the world works: Yes, Minister.
Boondock Saints. After the one guy kills the one girls thing and then goes off on her. That moment sums up my sense of humor.
Ceri's avatar

Ceri· 100 weeks ago

I was gonna say Monty Python and The Holy Grail, but then I remembered Slither…
Perfect.
Mongo can’t argue with that logic….
James's avatar

James· 100 weeks ago

I have to agree with Airplane
It’s very hard to choose. Fanboys is one of my favourites but Clerks and just about anything by Kevin Smith deserves credit too.
Tony's avatar

Tony· 100 weeks ago

There is a shameful lack of Ghostbusters on this list. It, like the snack food it uses as an analogy for New York’s ghost population, will never get old and inedible.
Just for argument’s sake, these were the movies I was considering for that comic:

the naked gun
airplane
young frankenstein
nl vacation
blazing saddles
holy grail
caddyshack
lebowski
spaceballs

I don’t know if a single movie could ever sum up my sense of humor… there are a few that spring to mind. Monty Python’s Holy Grail (not so much their other films), Blazing Saddles, the History of the World Part I, Space Balls, Robin Hood: Men In Tights, Idiocracy, the Invention of Lying … that’s a pretty wide swath of different flavors of funny, from heady intellectual jokes (the Invention of Lying) to silly sophomoric sight gags (Men In Tights).
I’m in Canada right now actually, (I need help with this politeness business; I can’t hide my American douchery) spending the week with friends of the internet.

Turns out they haven’t seen UHF.

There is a certain DVD I have brought with me.

The Unknown FB's avatar

The Unknown FB· 99 weeks ago

Sorry, it would have to be “Death to Smoochy”.
Nothing fits my humor noir/sarcastic look at life and work, along with the fact that I saw it (in the theater) with a guy I was dating at the time, and in a full house we were the two gay guys laughing our asses off at all the gay references in the movie, with a room full of breeders looking at us like we was cray cray.
Good times.
Chaucer59's avatar

Chaucer59· 99 weeks ago

Dr. Strangelove.
Ziggy Stardust's avatar

Ziggy Stardust· 99 weeks ago

Wag the Dog! It’s a good one.
Toxicdelirium's avatar

Toxicdelirium· 99 weeks ago

The Wizard of Speed and Time.
The two I come back to the most are Life of Brian and Blazing Saddles. I think it’s their quotability. I also LOVE The Meaning of Life for the songs. My kids already knew the Universe Song, and have now started learning all the others.
[Aliens round the moon]
“Earth!”
“Earth!”
“Earth!”
(it’s just a model)(Shh!)

“Shall we go on sire?”
“Nah, ’tis a silly place.”

From Little Acorns Grow

CLOSEOUT SALE in the HE Store is still going on! 

These shirts are marked down to $14.95 and leaving the HE Blind Ferret Store for good!

Team EdwardEwok StareShow Us On The TrilogyWinter Is Coming and Sci-Five
Ladies versions of these shirts are on sale too!

These shirts are marked down to $9.95!

OvipositorUnicorn PoopAnd My Axe (Ladies), SyFy Movie Title Generator and British Knights

Eli’s plan suffers from one fatal flaw. Can you guess what it is? Spoilers: It’s Eli. “Let’s all orbit the lobby…”

COMMENTERS: Have you ever had to convince a friend or coworker that an overly complicated plan was… overly complicated? 

Comments (14)

Ceri's avatar

Ceri· 101 weeks ago

I hate to do this, but it’s “zoetrope”, not “zoatrope” (panel 3).

1 · active 99 weeks ago

Tom's avatar

Tom· 99 weeks ago

I think both are used depending on where you are from.
deadrobot's avatar

deadrobot· 101 weeks ago

My friend was going to get into a fight. He knew this was going to happen. After a long and elaborate explanation on how he was going to win this rambuncitous mid-teen fisticuffs, he explained: “If you kick a person in the left, he falls to the right.”

I couldn’t argue that.

1 · active 101 weeks ago

he’s got science on his side. his left side.
This plan is like the product of a torrid affair between Georges Melies and a squirrel.
Larry Queen's avatar

Larry Queen· 101 weeks ago

Wait! What are we gonna watch in the fall? And what about Anime? Will there be subtitles, like in the roots or something?!?

1 · active 101 weeks ago

Logic would only dictate that, yes, there would be root subtitles. Duh.
tudza's avatar

tudza· 101 weeks ago

Need more leaves to encode the sound. You could hear it in space if you have the proper optical receiver, oh and some air of course.

1 · active 101 weeks ago

well now we’re talking shrubs and shrubs is a whole different kind of science.
Lynn's avatar

Lynn· 101 weeks ago

While this is a very dumb idea I can’t help but have a deep appreciation for the elaborate and almost childlike logic behind it. How did you even think of this?

1 · active 101 weeks ago

not to be crass but I thought of it while using the bathroom… which is where i get nearly 100% of my ideas.
DuckAmuck's avatar

DuckAmuck· 101 weeks ago

My friends are always good at spotting overly-complicated plans. I never need to convince them that a plan is overly-complicated.
The problem is, it’s really hard to convince them that overly-complicated plans are either good or bad ideas.

1 · active 100 weeks ago

My friends are too smart to avoid or turn down my overly-complicated plans. And you know, you don’t have to convince them, theyll just know it.
Chaucer59's avatar

Chaucer59· 99 weeks ago

Are you kidding? I was the tools expert for a documentation department at IBM for ten years. ALL I DID was explain why stupid and overly complicated plans wouldn’t work.