Chapters: HijiNKS ENSUE Classic

The 5 Days Of SDCC: Day 4

While I’m at SDCC, I’m posting predictions as to the toll that SDCC (the con, the parties, the lack of sleep) will have on my physical and mental well being. Outlook = Probably found in a ditch.

Where am I? Only the wind knows. Also I bet gender-bent Jon Snow, despite knowing nothing Jon Snow, knows. She was around the booth a bunch earlier and seemed to have a cache of Dragon Glass under her pelt cape. As everyone who’s studied cartoonist lore knows, Dragon Glass is one of the only things that can kill us, along with bullets packed with soil/rocks from the town of our birth and entitled reader comments.

Truth be told, I am having an amazing SDCC experience. I’m spending time with some of my very favorite human beings and I’ll definitely be coming away with a few new favorites to add to the list.

When this week is over, would anyone be interested in a poster/print of all 5 days on one page?

hijinks-ensue-sdcc-2013-blog

Coming to SDCC? Come see me at the Blind Ferret Booth (#1231) in the Webcomics area. I will have books and shirts, sketches, Lil’ Wil plushies and ??????THE MYSTERY BOX??????!!!! Speaking of books, if you buy HijiNKS ENSUE Vol’s 1 or 2 you’ll get a free mini print featuring my Sharknado sequel posters! More info HERE.

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Lani's avatar

Lani · 100 weeks ago

Oh, god, now I NEED to see that picture. PLEEEEEEEASE?
WongBal's avatar

WongBal · 100 weeks ago

Glad you’re having a good time, Joel! Will we get more of your kickass photo comics once you get home?

1 reply · active 100 weeks ago

Candace's avatar

Candace · 100 weeks ago

Yes, please, Joel, I miss the Fancy Photo Comics.
Dan's avatar

Dan · 100 weeks ago

Dear gods but I want Sadburry Eggs to be a real thing…

3 replies · active 99 weeks ago

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Notebooked · 100 weeks ago

You can make it real. You can make it happen.
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hijinksensue· 99 weeks ago

They extremely are a real thing. I invented them in Seattle last year and there is video evidence.
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Dan · 99 weeks ago

You’re a visionary, sir.
Notebooked's avatar

Notebooked · 100 weeks ago

A poster of the five days, read from up-to-down?
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tom_zombie· 100 weeks ago

I read this in Hunter S Thompson’s voice from Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas. Laughed my balls off.

1 reply · active 100 weeks ago

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lou · 100 weeks ago

Every time I read something by Hunter S. Thompson, I hear it in the voice of General Hunter Gathers from the Venture Brothers.
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ETSD· 100 weeks ago

I’m confused … which one of them is wearing the Sailor Moon costume?

2 replies · active 99 weeks ago

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Caitlin · 100 weeks ago

I think Skeletor, but I prefer the visual of the t-rex wearing it.
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hijinksensue· 99 weeks ago

Correct.
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Candace · 100 weeks ago

I think Joel is under the table, mumbling bloooooood….
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Trevor · 99 weeks ago

Is it wrong that I now WANT to see the 10th Doctor riding a T-Rex? That sounds awesome!
lou's avatar

lou · 99 weeks ago

Joel, we can’t find you. Come in, Joel. Joel? Joel! JOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOEEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLL!!!

->Continue or Exit

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MrPlow99 · 99 weeks ago

Anyone else love the fact that the Sunday comic hasn’t been posted yet? It’s seems perfect for the character arc.
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Rich Hendricks · 99 weeks ago

I shall demand a picture of a T-Rex riding The Doctor for my next signed copy. 🙂
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Roborat · 99 weeks ago

Okay, for the next year, everybody ask him for this picture.
Dave's avatar

Dave · 99 weeks ago

…and Joel was never heard from again.

2 replies · active 99 weeks ago

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lou · 99 weeks ago

Wow, he’s really sticking to it; he didn’t post a Day 5 strip yet!
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hijinksensue· 99 weeks ago

art imitates life imitates extreme exhaustion.
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Dave · 99 weeks ago

This is pretty fitting. Seems every time I came by at the Con he wasn’t there. Oh well. I bought a print from his daughter (no new books) anyway… but you missed out on your Starbucks Joel!

2 replies · active 99 weeks ago

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hijinksensue· 99 weeks ago

You bought that print one morning when I wasn’t able to get a cab to take me to the show. I was staying 20ish miles away and no cab companies would actually send anyone to pick me. This happened more than once that week.
Dave's avatar

Dave · 99 weeks ago

I came by another time when you were at lunch too. No worries though, I’m not complaining. Dude’s gotta eat, and lord knows that’s tough to do at the Con. I’ve shaken your hand before. I go to the con to support the artists. I don’t HAVE to see you to do that and even buying from someone else at the booth still feels more personal than the online store.

The 5 Days Of SDCC: Day 3

While I’m at SDCC, I’m posting predictions as to the toll that SDCC (the con, the parties, the lack of sleep) will have on my physical and mental well being. Outlook = Not So Good.

Well that escalated quickly. Despite only being the 2nd real real day of the convention proper, Friday is usually my 3 rd or 4th consecutive day with no sleep (after 2-3 weeks with little to no sleep), and marks at least a few days of eating like a garbage monster. It’s also begins mere hours after the closing of the largest party I attend each year, w00tstock.

Despite writing this days before the actual event, I can assure with 100% future-man-from-the-past certainty that this years w00tstock was the greatest, the geekiest and the most ridiculously fantastical melding of all of the things I love, all happening in one place, which is a place full of people super excited about loving the same things I do in the same way I do. How do I know this? Because it always is. Every year always tops every previous year. Eventually, in order to top itself, w00tstock will have to be a theater full of blow job robots that fart money.

hijinks-ensue-sdcc-2013-blog

Coming to SDCC? Come see me at the Blind Ferret Booth (#1231) in the Webcomics area. I will have books and shirts, sketches, Lil’ Wil plushies and ??????THE MYSTERY BOX??????!!!! Speaking of books, if you buy HijiNKS ENSUE Vol’s 1 or 2 you’ll get a free mini print featuring my Sharknado sequel posters! More info HERE.

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Liam's avatar

Liam · 100 weeks ago

$200 for a sandwich?

1 reply · active 100 weeks ago

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The Unknown FB · 100 weeks ago

That’s only a minor hyperbole on Joel’s part: con food be hella pricey.
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deadrobot · 100 weeks ago

“I saw a Ghostbuster stab a Boba Fett over a cobb salad.”

That line made me have a baby. I love you.

1 reply · active 99 weeks ago

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hijinksensue· 99 weeks ago

Please name the baby Jango Zuul.
Stranger's avatar

Stranger · 100 weeks ago

Its like Lord of The Flies, except con goers are way too fat to crush anyone with a giant boulder
Daveren's avatar

Daveren · 100 weeks ago

Blood.
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hijinksensue· 100 weeks ago

Man, I’ll draw just about anything for just about anyone.
Steve's avatar

Steve · 100 weeks ago

This is how Chaos Legionnaires are born.
lou's avatar

lou · 100 weeks ago

I have to find if The Doctor ever met J.R.R. Tolkien. He’s teamed up with other English literary figures, even before the relaunch.
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Mjoellnir · 100 weeks ago

Tolkien intolerable? Kill him with fire!°°

2 replies · active 100 weeks ago

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hijinksensue· 100 weeks ago

His world building and characters are second to none. HIs prose is nearly impenetrable.
lou's avatar

lou · 100 weeks ago

I thought it was well-known that Tolkien was a linguistics professor first and an author second.
Orf's avatar

Orf · 100 weeks ago

Do you clear a profit on SDCC? Seems like a horrible crucible of people-flesh and overpriced services.

1 reply · active 99 weeks ago

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hijinksensue· 99 weeks ago

I won’t do a show twice if I dont make a profit. SDCC is a bit of a different animal because there are intangible benefits in terms of super fun time parties, networking, making new friends, etc. I still make a profit but its not as good as other shows.
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earlleonardmusicforkids· 100 weeks ago

Aw man, i never knew i wanted something and now i want nothing but…

The 5 Days Of SDCC: Day 2

I’m trying something different for this years “while I’m at SDCC” comics. Instead of guest comics, or NO comics like I’ve done in the past, I’ve decided to make predictions as to the toll that SDCC (the con, the parties, the lack of sleep) will have on my physical and mental well being.

For Day 2, the first real day of the con, I assume spirits and energy are high despite my undoubted lack of sleep and non-lack of beer the night before at the Farking Wheaton w00tstout launch part at Stone Brewery.  I’m sure I’ll have had my typical boost of first day convention energy that causes me to be “ON” far more so than I typically am. Those that visited my booth were probably treated to fits of “playful shouting,” “simulated yelling at high volumes,” “impromptu dance parties” and “actual yelling.” What a lucky bunch they were to see my in my prime before it all went terribly wrong on Day 3.

hijinks-ensue-sdcc-2013-blog

Coming to SDCC? Come see me at the Blind Ferret Booth (#1231) in the Webcomics area. I will have books and shirts, sketches, Lil’ Wil plushies and ??????THE MYSTERY BOX??????!!!! Speaking of books, if you buy HijiNKS ENSUE Vol’s 1 or 2 you’ll get a free mini print featuring my Sharknado sequel posters! More info HERE.

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Stranger's avatar

Stranger · 100 weeks ago

Wow, conventions sounds like an ordeal. Youre probably going to get the Con Crud on top of it

4 replies · active 99 weeks ago

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Opie · 100 weeks ago

Con Crud is a small price to pay for the chance to almost meet NPH !!
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Bryce · 100 weeks ago

To rip-off an old stand-up joke, ever notice that the more successful self-referential comic writers get the more their strips deal with going to or coming from conventions?
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hijinksensue· 100 weeks ago

That sounds like a dig. If you dont enjoy the content I post here, I suggest you discontine your consumption of it and refrain from commenting.
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Mahnarch · 99 weeks ago

Joel, Joel, Joel… *waves Joel over with a drunken swagger* [arm around Joel’s shoulder (more to keep himself up, than Joel)] He said, “More SUCCESSFULL”… MAN!!! I thin’… I think That’s a com.. *hic* ..a comsti .. *hic* consumable,,, man! I’d take it!

😀

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HikingViking · 100 weeks ago

Maybe you could steal the disco ball and fancy lights from the Euro-Rave diner, set them up at your booth, and sponsor that break dance competition between Optimus Primes (Primi? Primu?). That would certainly draw a crowd. Plus, if you need to scream, you can just go all James Brown and shout things like “GET DOWN!”, or “HUH!” while the break dancing is happening.

3 replies · active 100 weeks ago

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lou · 100 weeks ago

I’m sure Primes is the correct plural form.
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The Unknown FB · 100 weeks ago

It is, according to the various incarnations of the shows, books, and graphic novels.
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hijinksensue· 100 weeks ago

Primuus.
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deadrobot · 100 weeks ago

From Gawker.com ComiCon post comments:

“6-2-1 rule, people. Every damn day, 6-2-1:
6 hours of sleep
2 meals
1 shower”

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DrPepperMD· 100 weeks ago

In case this comic ever shows up in a book: sandwich, not sandwhich.

2 replies · active 99 weeks ago

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The Unknown FB · 100 weeks ago

Wouldn’t it depend on which sand he had in his wich?
And if he was eating at WhichWich or that eurorave restaurant again?
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hijinksensue· 99 weeks ago

Fixed. Thanks!
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Guest · 52 weeks ago

There aren’t cracker barrels in California

1 reply · active 52 weeks ago

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hijinksensue· 52 weeks ago

Really good point. Consider this comic and all jokes contained within invalid. You are doing God’s work, internet pedant.

The 5 Days Of SDCC: Day 1

I’m trying something different for this years “while I’m at SDCC” comics. Instead of guest comics, or NO comics like I’ve done in the past, I’ve decided to make predictions as to the toll that SDCC (the con, the parties, the lack of sleep) will have on my physical and mental well being. I’ll have made all 5 days worth of comics in advance, based on the previous 3 years of exhibiting at SDCC and advanced algorithms that can predict exactly how much alcohol I will consume and how little sleep I will get. When I return from SDCC, I will revisit my predictions and let you know how correct they were. SPOILERS: They will be 100% correct because I make the same magical mistakes every year.

I made you a new Lo-Fi comic about iPads and where they go.

hijinks-ensue-sdcc-2013-blog

Coming to SDCC? Come see me at the Blind Ferret Booth (#1231) in the Webcomics area. I will have books and shirts, sketches, Lil’ Wil plushies and ??????THE MYSTERY BOX??????!!!! Speaking of books, if you buy HijiNKS ENSUE Vol’s 1 or 2 you’ll get a free mini print featuring my Sharknado sequel posters! More info HERE.

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Fren's avatar

Fren · 100 weeks ago

Mistakes? There are no mistakes. These are merely lessons you refuse to learn because the consequences are too fun. That’s my theory.

1 reply · active 100 weeks ago

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seriously · 100 weeks ago

I humbly suggest alcohol induced memory impairment. While the judge may not have bought it, but I still believe it’s a valid excuse.
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Stranger · 100 weeks ago

That diet is going to have one hell of a backlash right in the middle of the con, isnt it?

2 replies · active 100 weeks ago

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seriously · 100 weeks ago

And there goes Joel doing his best imitation of the Flash, setting a new land speed record in search of a restroom.

Right before he does an imitation of what happens when you add Mentos to a bottle of diet Coke.

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hijinksensue· 100 weeks ago

…
…
…
No comment.
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seriously · 100 weeks ago

“They will be 100% correct because I make the same magical mistakes every year.”

You know, this might explain why I always wake up hung-over on New Years day, and May 6. Next year’s gonna be different, this time I’ll… probably just make the same mistakes I did this year, and last year. Although filling up an empty wine skin with Jose Cuervo was not a good idea.

lou's avatar

lou · 100 weeks ago

I like this concept. Each strip could read like a RPG Character Sheet with different stats that change by the day.
Dean's avatar

Dean · 100 weeks ago

I predict that the final day will see you reduced to a blazing skeleton animated solely by rage and caffeine.

1 reply · active 100 weeks ago

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Chaucer59 · 100 weeks ago

Just bring back lots of photos, Joel. It’s been too long since your last photo comic.

Sharks Can’t Sleep

Wil and I made you a Sparks McGee T-Shirt! And we made a bunch of other t-shirts for that matter.

sparks mcgee t-shirt wil wheaton sharksplode

Confused? Of course you are! Read up on Sparks McGee and his awesome adventures.

The $9.95 closeout T-shirt sale is still going on in the HE Store. Here’s an update as to what sizes are left.

I enjoyed absolutely everything about Syfy’s Sharknado. If you didn’t watch it for whatever reason, you missed; a guy from 90210 shooting at least a dozen sharks out of the sky with a pistol from maybe a mile away, his son flying a helicopter into the titular Sharknado to drop pipe bombs into it, so many horrendous special FX (the movie would jump from HD, to SD to 90’s webcam resolution depending on how many FX were on screen at any given time), at least 3 scenes involving nothing but stock footage, sharks in a living room, sharks on the roofs of skyscrapers, sharks in the pool at the old folks home and the chainsaw… we musnt’ forget the chainsaw. Sweet miserable bastard, the chainsaw. I don’t think any other movie has caused me to audibly gasp then exclaim, “Don’t you dare. You monsters,” just before the climax.

Sharknado was certainly worth my time (a sentence that, upon reading it, and knowing full well that I typed it myself, I still do not understand), though the best part was watching it live with a bunch of my friends via Twitter. Many of my best friends are people I only see at conventions, which means we rarely, if ever have a chance to just sit down and enjoy making fun of a crappy movie together. Live tweeting Sharknado with Wil and Anne and Yuri made them not seem so far away and made me feel like we were all in the same room together having a good time (THEY actually were ALL in the same room together, but whatever). I guess my hope is some of the people watching the movie and reading along via Twitter with us felt like they were in the room too, and got to share in the experience of celebrating a truly majestic train wreck.

COMMENTERS: Did you watch Sharknado and possibly read along with my live tweets? Can you enjoy “So bad it’s good” movies are do you view all these Syfy Shark+whatever movies as “So bad it’s bad?” Any favorites in the genre?

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FarrisGoldstein· 101 weeks ago

Why is the bass not singing “Take Me To The River?”

1 reply · active 101 weeks ago

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josh· 101 weeks ago

Not even a Hurricanine?
blaring's avatar

blaring · 101 weeks ago

Much better than my idea: “El Crabño”
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Poodles McGee · 101 weeks ago

I didn’t watch Sharknado, but I did follow along with your and Anne’s and Will’s tweets about it when I should have been studying/cleaning. Frankly, it was awesome and I have no regrets about being another day behind on school stuff.

The whole thing about you and them and all the other webcomic people whose stuff I read that I really love is that you guys all know each other and are at least respected colleagues if not outright friends. Watching you joke around and encourage each other and talk shop on Twitter and Tumblr gives people like me (who have a hard time making friends) a chance to sort of vicariously hang out with some really nice, hilarious people. The community/camaraderie you guys have is just as big a part of why I’m so enamored of webcomics as the actual comics themselves.

Sorry for the big sloppy love letter.

2 replies · active 101 weeks ago

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hijinksensue· 101 weeks ago

That’s really kind of you to say. Just so you know, MOST of the webcomics type people I am friends with would describe themselves as “has a hard time making friends” too.
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Bryce · 101 weeks ago

I think a lot of the introverted type of people would say that. Somehow I’ve wound up with a lot of friends who also have trouble making friends. And the obligatory outlier about whom it has to be said “no, she isn’t being sarcastic, she really IS that happy to meet you” at some discreet point after making introductions.
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Antonius · 101 weeks ago

BLIZARD!
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Leshka · 101 weeks ago

Not having TV, I was spared the knowledge of the exact time this movie came out. I did know it was arriving, though. One day a few weeks ago I was wearing my Sci-Fi movie title generator T-shirt and my friends and I were making up names. We figured Sharknado was an awesome title, and one guy searched online to tell us that, yes, someone else thought it was a good idea as well. Sad to say two other names were also actual movies (or close enough for Syfy exec work.)
Green's avatar

Green · 101 weeks ago

Yeah, I got to say, never been a fan of ironically watching stuff. Especially when the producers are *deliberately* trying to appeal to that crowd. Sharknado and the others of its ilk are all just, as you put it, so-bad-it’s-bad. 😛

1 reply · active 101 weeks ago

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hijinksensue· 101 weeks ago

I hear what you’re saying, but let me assure you there was ZERO irony involved in my Sharknado enjoyment. I was actually laughing hysterically for close to 2 hours which is a pretty genuine expression of emotion in my book.
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MrPlow99 · 100 weeks ago

With a sequel “Tsunhami 2: When Pigs Fly”
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Bryce · 101 weeks ago

I haven’t seen Sharknado, but do-bad-it’s-good movies really depend on the company. I saw Ninja Assassin (which since it was about an ex-ninja assassin who killed ninja assassins should have been named Ninja Assassin-Assassinating Ninja) and it was a hoot, but had I been alone I would have turned it off a few minutes in. Those kind of movies need people with whom to share your theories about ninja being trained to leap in front of speeding cars and pose menacingly before being hit.
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Alex· 101 weeks ago

I would totally buy a “Crabalanche!”-Shirt.

1 reply · active 100 weeks ago

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Chaucer59 · 100 weeks ago

Isn’t that something they serve at Joe’s Crab Shack. Tumbling from a mountain of curly fries beside a babbling butter brook?
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Merbrat· 101 weeks ago

I have some friends who regularly get together and trash bad SF movies. Usually, it’s dollar-bin movies, but I think they may have done this one live. Those are great, Joel! Crabalanche! Nor’Easter Bunny… LOL!
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xero · 101 weeks ago

Piranhacano half Piranha half volcvano
Lynn's avatar

Lynn · 101 weeks ago

I would totally watch “Big Mouth Bassteroid”
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KingMeIV · 101 weeks ago

Just watched Sharknado with my best friend last night, and I agree with everything you’ve said 100%. We regularly watch so-bad-it’s-good movies together, and these days they’re mostly Asylum Films. I have to recommend 3 Musketeers. Tagline? “All for one, and guns for all”.
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bobblebrad · 101 weeks ago

I’m seeing a possible title for the next book Joel… “Fancy Basteroid 2: Deep Hampact” Does Bruce Willis do audio books?

1 reply · active 99 weeks ago

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petsinwinter · 101 weeks ago

I watched it and followed along with your live tweets.
According to my dad, who was watching the hashtag instead, twitter turned into MST3K that night.
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bookbank1· 100 weeks ago

Do you listen to the “How Did This Get Made?” podcast? Every episode is such a love letter to so-bad-it’s-good movies, they make me laugh all the time (even when I disagree on the movie, and think it was just bad).

I will have to track down Sharknado, because it sounds amazing!

1 reply · active 100 weeks ago

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hijinksensue· 100 weeks ago

Yeah, HDTGM is one of my favorites.
Stranger's avatar

Stranger · 100 weeks ago

Im of the “So Bad Its Bad” school of thought. A bad movie isnt enjoyable to me, its just annoying and frustrating to watch. That someone took the time to make that garbage, and then expected people to enjoy it, is frankly just insulting. Its even worse when they try to be all self referential like they know it sucks, but then dont bother changing anything, because everything has to be goddamn meta now.
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weaselspoon · 100 weeks ago

I love So Bad It’s Good films. They’ve got to be a particular kind of bad, and then you have to go in knowing they are bad. When you’re at the cinema watching Poutrygeist: Night of the Chicken Dead (or any Troma for that matter) or The Room (ye gods, The Room), it becomes the audience united in laughing at the film.

I recently watched a film called Leviathon that had just won a major award and was definitely meant to be good. Half the audience walked out, and I clung on to the end but it didn’t improve. That was mostly awful because having been told this is an award winning film, your hopes are up. Had I known what to expect, we’d have thrown popcorn and shouted at the screen and it would have been fun.

After that, we saw Frankenstein’s Army. We threw popcorn and shouted at the screen. It was awesome. The director was there and he was awesome.

1 reply · active 100 weeks ago

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Stranger · 100 weeks ago

See, thats the stuff that bugs me. I can kind of forgive a movie for sucking if the director really gave it his best, but was limited by resources or his own lack of talent or whatever, like Ed Wood, but when the director has this painful self satisfied “look at this horrible movie I did” attitude, and actually goes to showings himself, its just… ugh. If youre not even going to TRY making a good movie, what the hell are you making movies for at all?
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gabepuratekuta· 100 weeks ago

Birdemic 2: Because We Hate Absolutely Everyone!
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Chaucer59 · 100 weeks ago

Yeah, my Dave So-Bad-It’s-Good entries also incoude a Troma delight: Chopper Chicks in Zombietown. Another that actually meant to be funny and occasionally succeeded we Revenge of the Killer Tomatoes, starring John Astin and a very young George Clooney. The pizza delivery guy comes to the spooky old mansion where Astin is turning tomatoes into muscle-bound hunks, and pizza boy sees all the big musclemen strolling the grounds carrying HKs and asks, “Who are all these guys.” The tomato-girl bimbo, in a perfectly robotic voice replies, “They are gardeners and carpenters. They are not tomato men.”

Classic.

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Chaucer59 · 100 weeks ago

Ugh. Gotta edit these iPhone posts that should be “my fave entries” and well, I guess the other typos are pretty obvious.
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deadrobot · 100 weeks ago

People! Spoiler Alert warnings please! Canada is getting this cinematic gem on Thursday!

I can’t wait for the scene in the diner when the shark fakes an orgasm and the old shark across the restaurant says “I’ll feeding frenzy what they’re feeding frenzy!”

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Tonny J. · 5 weeks ago

Im of the “So Bad Its Bad” school of thought. A bad movie isnt enjoyable to me, its just annoying and frustrating to watch. That someone took the time to make that garbage, and then expected people to enjoy it, is frankly just insulting. Its even worse when they try to be all self referential like they know it sucks, but then dont bother changing anything, because everything has to be goddamn meta now.