Chapters: HijiNKS ENSUE Classic
Hoboes are basically worthless
They don’t even have Edge data.
Josh has been trying to sneak my iPhone away at every available opportunity in an attempt to navigate it’s browser over to jailbreakme.com. He’s like my mom in that he knows what’s best for me despite my own wishes. And apparently, what’s best for me is to Jailbreak my virgin iPhone.
Hardware hacking just isn’t my thing. I’m squeamish. I used to have to get Josh to come over and update my hacked Xbox dashboard. There was IRC involved. Not for the faint of heart.
I gave him the chance to sway me to his side but all he could produce as evidence of reasons to hack were various games, and… games. A sophisticated gaming platform, the iPhone is not. This certainly wasn’t enough to make me want to turn over root access to my device.
If you’ve seen the current round of iPhone ads (one if which is parodied above) you are no doubt familiar with the “Pilot” one. He’s sitting in a plane and the flight is delayed due to an approaching storm. His iPhone saves the day because he is able to check weather.com and see that the storm has moved on.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!
Air F-ing traffic control is going to ground a flight based on information from instruments that is NOT as sophisticated as weather.com? Worse yet, do they not have the internet?
What if the pilot had just looked up “Hurricane” on Urban Dictionary? Could he have convinced them to clear him for takeoff based on the fact that, according to UD, a hurricane is either a particular type of bong that will “roast you so quick”, a doubly potent 40 oz of malt liquor, a Bob Dylan song, or an ejaculatory endzone dance referenced in a Souljah Boy lyric. Nothing to worry about there, right?
Those with a keen eye will recognize Boxcar Pete in the wash tub up there in panel 4. He’s the stabby kind of hobo, so watch out.
Tim Kring makes puppies commit adultery
Somehow “The Writers Guild” evokes imagery of shadowy figures in heavy velvet cloaks gathered around mammoth stone tables to perform sacred blood rights and cast runes. This ancient band of clandestine scribes is now on strike. They’ve struck… stricken… whatever. To be fair, the studios should just agree to remove all writing from DVD’s and downloaded shows. Heroes season 2 would be unaffected. O00hhh. Burn.
Today’s comic deals with the declining quality of the television show Heroes and the merits of its “creator,” one Mr. R. Timothy Kring. I’ve decided season 1 was a fluke. Season 2 is a testament to how little this guy understands about comic books or geekery in general.
The short list:
- The only thing we wanted to know is what happened to Peter. We still don’t know.
- Amnesia is teh kop 0uts.
- Focusing on new boring characters worked so well for LOST that we should totaly do it. I hope Dora and Diego get buried alive.
- Wiping out NY was last year’s big bad. This year’s is… wiping out..oh god.
- For instructions on how to do a new apocalypse every season, see Buffy: Seasons 1-7. Take notes.
- Mutant virus, eh? Don’t read much X-Men, huh?
- Claire’s boyfriend is a tool
- Hiro is an idiot. He was in feudal Japan about 8 episodes too long.
- Parkman’s dad is the killer? One more Hero needed Daddy issues? Seriously. Think about it for 5 seconds. Who on this show wasn’t permanently scarred by their father?
It turns out Tim Kring time traveled forward, read this post, went back in time and apologized for his transgressions. That’s certainly a different approach than we get from Lindelhof and Cuse. They are more of “Fuck off! Let me see you make a better show! Dick holes!” Where as Kring is taking the stance of “yeah, I really don’t know what I’m doing. You guys got any ideas? Where do you post your fan fics? Oh, here they are…. why are all the dudes gay?”
You can download today’s comic for your Webcomic Remixing delights here:
Have some fun with it and email your entries to comics (at) hijinksensue (dot) com.
UPDATE:
I moved the remix entires here and gave them their own category.
Save Dollhouse!
All I’m saying is if we started collecting signatures on the petition now, it will save us time in the long run. How many of you want to wait until Fox actually cancels “Dollhouse” to start the “Save Dollhouse” campaign. We’ve learned our lesson so many times before. Let’s just be prepared. We need to go ahead and organize a few fan get-togethers, rallies, meetups, etc. We need to spread the word that Fox can’t cancel this new and original show without giving it a chance.
Yes, I understand that it hasn’t even begun production yet. That’s besides the point. If we had started campaigning for Firefly’s renewal before they had even cast all the parts, we might still be watch Captain Tight Pants, and Space Whore, and the rest every alternate Friday at 4am and each 3rd Tuesday after the infomercials go off (prime slots for the 18-34 demo).
Also, seeing as how it’s Monday, November 5th, the Writer’s Guild probably just went on strike just went on strike. This means basically all non-reality shows will be halting production. In an act of solidarity (or something) with my creative brethren, I am providing a “speechless” version of today’s comic.
You can download it here:
Please take it and fill in whatever words you like (unless you are a member of the Writer’s Guild. Then you aren’t allowed to write words). Make it funny, make it stupid, or make it make less sense than the original. When you are done, email it to comics (at) hijinksensue (dot) com. Don’t forget to tag it with your name. I will post the ones I like best on the site. If this works out and you guys enjoy it, I will make “Webcomic Remix” an ongoing feature.
