Instead of four panels of crazy nonsense, I should have just written the words, “ANY SOUNDS OF ANY KIND AT ALL,” because that’s truly what I can’t stand to hear coming from the next stall. Any sounds your body makes? Don’t wanna hear ’em. Any grunts, groans or words of self encouragement? No thank you. You taking a phone call mid-act? You’re a garbage person and I STILL don’t want to hear it. The artificial sound of keystrokes as you type out a text? OH MAN I HAVE SO MANY REASONS TO HATE YOU NOW. A) WHY HAVEN’T YOU TURNED OFF THE KEYSTROKE NOISE IN YOUR PHONE SETTINGS?! TWO) WHY ISN’T YOUR PHONE ON SILENT WHEN YOU’RE IN THE BATHROOM?! C) WHY ARE YOU COMMUNICATING WITH PEOPLE WHILE… OK, I can’t fake indignation on that last one, seeing as I am a poop texter myself. Still, all the while my phone and myself are DEAD silent.
My Patrons got a TOTALLY DIFFERENT VERSION OF THIS COMIC with four TOTALLY DIFFERENT JOKES!!! WHAT?!?!? I KNOW!!! THEY’RE SO SMART AND ATTRACTIVE AND LUCKY!!!!!!!
Dearest Sharksploders, please help me get my Patreon over the $2000 hump. Comics is my full time job, but it doesn’t currently pay full time money. I’ve been doing a lot of freelance work lately (which distracts me from making comics) to make ends meet, and I’ve agreed to attend more conventions this year than I really feel comfortable with (which REALLY distracts me from making comics) out of financial fear. Every little bit helps and is QUITE appreciated.
“mmm…. that was a good one. Oh yeah, baby!”
I’d rather hear someone’s words of self encouragement in the stall next to me than those of a second voice in there with them.
“LET’S GO CHAMP YOU GOT THIS, IT’S ALL YOU”
“I can’t believe we fit this many people in here.”
This is the only time I use earbuds on my phone. So if you ever see me with earbuds, you know I’m either coming or going.
Or both! 😀
If I patreonize you now, do I become smarter, luckier and more attractive right now or is it retroactive?
“Give me more comics paid content monkey!”
I like the way that sounds…
Panel 3 guy only has himself to blame, unless of course he was silently miming the Hulkamania entrance and just happened to overhear his stall-neighbour…
I can’t believe you said that, because I almost put the lyrics to Hulk Hogan’s theme song in one of the panels. “I am a real American…”
This scenario happened to me just a few days ago. I was in the stall minding my own business when someone came into the next one and whispered to themselves (multiple times, mind you) “so much better.”
I did not want to know the context.
Or you don’t want to admit that you already knew the context. Knew it intimately.
Things I would actually laugh at if I heard them in a public bathroom: “Damnit! I never did figure out the three shells.”
That would be a good one.
For the Austin Powers fans how about ‘Who does Number 2 work for?!’
That’s right, Buddy! You show that turd who’s boss!
DAMN! That was my first thought, too!
Would you make an exception for h. Jon Benjamin’s “Cash Stall”? http://youtu.be/5MEKHlE7APk
That’s why I don’t leave the house. Well, that and I don’t have anywhere to go
As soon as I figured out how to turn off the stupid keystroke sounds on my phone, I did that. I was like, WTF, whose dumb idea was that sound effect, anyway? So annoying. And I’m instantly filled with rage whenever I hear that sound effect from someone else’s phone, no matter the context.
When I have to drop off my friends at the pool, I am all business. Get in, get down to business, clean up, and get out. No phone calls or texts, not even in my own house.
Someday Joel and I will run that Kickstarter for a social media bathroom app: Poopster.
ALL social media apps are social media bathroom apps.
The words of what the fuck or that’s a new colour disturb me
“glass, take a picture” is one of the more troubling things I remember hearing from a bathroom stall.
At least it wasn’t: “GLASS?!?! TAKE A PICTURE!”
Why the fuck does any device have a keystroke sound?
The point is?
If your keystroke was registered, YOU CAN SEE THE PROOF.