Big Cat

[Posted 6/27/11 ] I’m still a few comics behind. Thanks for your patience. I’m trying desperately to get caught up on comics, while also shotgunning an entire season of Game Of Thrones before my free preview of HBO expires in a few hours. Assuming I am successful I will get to make MORE COMICS about Game of Thrones that I should have made months ago when the show was actually a thing people were talking about.

Given Apple’s new multi-touch interface patent that grants them eminent domain over nearly every obvious and expected feature of the modern smart phone, you have the wonder what their strategy is going to be moving forward. Are they going on the offensive? Will they attack HTC, Samsung and everyone else that dares to have a touch screen device where the screens display colors in the visible spectrum and the icons do not trigger full volume racial epithets when pressed?

Wil Wheaton and I got excited and made a thing! Check out our University of Gallifrey Fighting Time Lords Shirt over at Sharksplode.

Gallifrey University Fighting Time Lords Shirt - Doctor Who parody, geeky tees, funny t-shirts, nerdy shirts

Or will they simply let every other cell phone company know that they are welcomed to pay a hefty licensing fee for their now infringing features, such as “A phone that can display eBooks which do NOT depict graphic illustrations of cattle autopsies”? As for the bobcats circling outside every Sprint store, the employees will just say, “They must be attracted to our… advanced 4G network. Also you should put on these full body leather falconry suits before going back to your car.”

STORE NEWS: The HijiNKS ENSUE Store is closed for a few weeks so I can make some big, exciting changes. [READ MORE HERE] In the meantime you can still get shirts from Sharksplode and HE Book 2 from this very site.

INTERVIEWS: I did a really fun interview with Lauren Davis for Gamma Squad, and the full audio of my interview with ABC Australia’s Nerdzilla Podcast is HERE.

COMMENTERS: What else does Apple’s super broad iPhone Interface patent include? “A Method my which poking at stuff on the screen with your crummy fingers results in a desired action”? “A process by which unwanted phone calls from relatives/employers/ex-spouses can be identified and sent directly to voicemail”?

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29 Comments

  1. Uh… no, it means the other manufacturers would have to find a different way to prevent their phones from leaking cougar pee. 😛

    • the New Droid Colostomy Bag accessory is all the rage and it comes in 15 different, eye-catching colors.

  4. Ima gonna just keep my new DROID in this hermetically-sealed mayonnaise jar on Funk and Wagnall's porch, at night.

        • But that’s different job. That one is called “modeling. I hope that HC gets cast as some sort of slasher movie where he has to play someone batshit crazy and just nails it. That would be pretty funny.

  7. I do hope they go on the offensive on this one, because the thought is that any sane judge would then throw the patent out. It really never should have been approved in the first place, it comes awfully close to creating a monopoly situation.

  9. As a metal fan, I have to say I'm disappointed you said "cattle autopsies" rather than "Cattle Decapitation."

    I like the idea that I could buy a fancy phone that will always automatically block 1 band that I hate, and any reference to it, from showing on my screen, in any fashion.

  10. If someone else patents "a technology to counteract ambient sounds of other people's cell phone conversations", they'll have bargaining power with Apple.

    Also, a somewhat Joel-like geek appears in today's Weregeek comic. http://www.weregeek.com/2011/06/27/ (along with some other artists of lesser fame). 😉

  12. While it is limiting in that it prevents such things from being coded in the hardware, they could just have a touch screen and have these patented features as part of a free open-source feature. I really don’t think you can patent the hardware ability for a touch screen to sense multiple touches. It would be like a patent on having a volume dial and headphone jack on your PC speakers. Very useful, but not a unique idea that would be fair to exclude others from.
    I’m getting really sick of the extreme lengths taken in intellectual property laws.

  13. My older brother used to have an iphone, but has since switch to the HTC because he doesn't like the iphone 5's tracking device that can't be turned off. To be honest I'm surprised that wasn't worked into the punchline here.

  14. I believe this new patent only applies to manipulation (i.e. scrolling) of a frame within a browser or other open app. For instance an embedded map screen within a browser. In this case, two fingers will be used to scroll the map, using two fingers will let the hardware know that you only wish to scroll the embedded object and not the entire screen. At least that is how I understand it.

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