The Long Dark Friday Of The Soul

NEW Doctor Who/Dr. Seuss Shirt at Sharksplode!
DO YOU WANT A PRINT INSTEAD? 

Doctor Who Dr. Seuss T-Shirt, Rory Centurion, Shirt Pandorica, Horton Hears a Who, Horton Hatches The Egg, Rory Hears A Who And Hatches The Cube, Rory Pond, Rory Williams,

Info about and holiday shipping deadlines for various HE-type merchandise IS HERE. PLEASE SPEND ALL OF YOUR MONEY THIS HOLIDAY SEASON AT THE HE STORE, and SHARKSPLODE OMG!!!

SHARKSPLODE CYBER MONDAY SALE!!! Get 10% off your entire order using the code: cybersplode10

Another Blackest Friday has come and gone, and yet we still persist as a species? How we keep beating the odds and prolonging our toil on this watery space rock despite our best efforts is beyond me. This year Walmart had a 40″ TV for $200. Granted, it was a shitty brand, but if you walked in a store with two crispy Ben Franklins and walked out with a TV that is wider than your neglected children are tall, you’ve got to be feeling pretty good. Of course being at Walmart at 2am, you were probably feeling pretty good because of the meth coursing through your wiry and oddly pocked and speckled body. The meth was also certainly a contributing factor to your tv getting victory. Can you imagine how many deals you would have gotten were you endowed with PCP super strength? Next year. Next year.

COMMENTERS: What’s the worst you’ve every seen a human being treat another human being at a retail/grocery/etc store? Were you one of the human beings involved?

Day 7of Blind Ferret Shirtsmas! My Syfy Tv Movie Title Generator shirt is only $7.95 TODAY ONLY Unitl 12 Noon!!!

Drenched In Dench

Check out my guide to HijiNKS Holiday Shopping and Shipping Deadlines (SPOILERS: Order stuff NOW if you want it by the 24th).

“Dench” is to the Skyfalliverse as “Smurf” is to the Smurfiverse. 

I watched Die Another Day for the first time a couple of nights ago. I don’t really consider Pierce Brosnon to be canonical Bond. He seems more like a Hot Shots-style Bond parody minus all the comedy. Speaking of “comedy,” Die Another Day is just CHOCK FULL of dick jokes. Like really terrible dick jokes too. Bond seems to punctuate nearly every thought with a reference to his “tip” or his “weapon” or his “raging erect shaft, I mean as to say the turgid column that is my male member, commonly referred to as THE DONGER.” That last one lacked a certainly Bond-esque subtlety. Anyway, that movie was terrible.

COMMENTERS: Are we all in agreement that P.B. 90’s Bond is silly playtime fake Bond? Is there a worse Bond (who held the mantle for more than one film)?

The Hand That Feeds

NEW Doctor Who/Dr. Seuss Shirt at Sharksplode!
DO YOU WANT A PRINT INSTEAD? 

Doctor Who Dr. Seuss T-Shirt, Rory Centurion, Shirt Pandorica, Horton Hears a Who, Horton Hatches The Egg, Rory Hears A Who And Hatches The Cube, Rory Pond, Rory Williams,

Did you know the horrifyingly deformed Hand Turkey is the official mascot of Thanksgravy? Each year on this day, little children leave a ladle full of gravy under their pillows and while they slumber, bellies plump with yams and holiday spite, the Hand Turkey will come to visit them. If he deems them good and virtuous and sufficiently crammed with pie and/or hungover, he will leave a gift under their pillow. And sometimes on the floor next to their bed. And often right on their miserable little cranberry sauce stained faces. He’s a generous bird. A loathsome, self-hating bird, but a generous one none the less.

How about you make your own Thanksgravy Hand Turkey and post a link to your masterpiece in the comments. If you post them to Twitter, use the hashtag #thanksgravy.

COMMENTERS: Please add to the myths and traditions of Thanksgravy and the Hand Turkey. 

Day 4 of Blind Ferret Shirtsmas! My Unicorn Poop shirt is only $7.95 TODAY ONLY!!!

Bardemic: Sherlock And Terror

NEW Doctor Who/Dr. Seuss Shirt at Sharksplode!
DO YOU WANT A PRINT INSTEAD? 

Doctor Who Dr. Seuss T-Shirt, Rory Centurion, Shirt Pandorica, Horton Hears a Who, Horton Hatches The Egg, Rory Hears A Who And Hatches The Cube, Rory Pond, Rory Williams,

UPDATE: Enjoy a Skyfall themed LoFi comic

Like all who uncover a conspiracy, I am shocked that more people (as in ALL PEOPLE) aren’t obsessing over it already. I seem to be the only person alive who noticed that Silva, played by Havier Bardem, in Skyfall is just a redressing of Moriarty from the BBC’s Sherlock. It’s not even subtle.

!!!SKYFALL SPOILERS AHEAD!!!

DAMNING SIMILARITIES: Both are consulting criminal masterminds that offer their services to the highest bidder. Both go on and on about how crimes are all committed digitally these days and master hackers are more powerful than armed thugs. Both compare themselves to their enemy as an “equal but opposite.” Both offer to join up with their nemesis to rule the crime world. Both at least pretend to be gay or bisexual (it is unclear whether either character actually is). Both have a silly way of talking. This is probably just Bardem’s accent, but they definitely both have odd inflections and word emphasis.

THE MOST DAMNING SIMILARITY: Silva’s entire capture and and escape from MI6 plays out EXACTLY like Moriarty’s capture and escape from “The Reichenbach Fall” episode from Sherlock series 2. In each the heroes realize just as things start to go wrong (doors open/bank vaults open) that the capture was orchestrated by the villain. Both villains are housed in glass cells in the center of a room. Both villains just sit there all nonchalant waiting for their plans to take effect. Silva might as well have written “Get Bond” on his cell.

None of these points makes Skyfall a necessarily bad movie, but if you’re a Sherlock fan they will certainly take you out of the moment.

Skyfall was actually quite entertaining, but it certainly wasn’t without its shortcomings. First of all, it’s at least 20 minutes too long. There were so many opportunities to trim the fat, but I have to wonder if they left the pacing slow and even at time dull in order to maintain some sort of British cinema sensibility. A few nitpicks: there’s just too much Dench. There’s a decidedly decent dose of Dench and it detracts from the d… movie. Bardem is quite captivating on screen but he doesn’t show up until about halfway through the movie. When it’s over, if you really think about what Silva had built, what his motivation for killing M was and what he eventually lost, it’s pretty much impossible to understand his motivation for going through with it all in the way that he did.

After that list, I’m wondering what I actually liked about Skyfall. I guess I could say when it was moving, when Bond was BEING Bond, it was great. The whole thing at the end where we “catch up” to 1960’s Bond canon (Moneypenny, a male M, the Aston Martin, The Scottish roots, etc) seemed a bit odd at first but really I ended up finding that whole through line charming in a VERY James Bondish way. You’re supposed to take away that these first three Daniel Craig Bond movies are an alternate universe prequel of sorts, where we see Bond becoming the Bond that we met with Sean Connery. I’m not sure how that’s supposed to effect the next sequels, but I take it more of a nudge and wink than a strict re-un-de-also-reboot.

So where does Skyfall fall in the rankings? Certainly better than Quantum of Solace, but not as good as Casino Royale. And the Sherlock stuff goes way past an homage and into straight up plot left.

COMMENTERS: I KNOW I AM NOT CRAZY! ALL THAT SHERLOCK STUFF IS REAL! PLEASE TELL ME YOU SAW IT TOO! TELL ME I’M A GOOD BOY! TELLLLL MEEEEEE!!!!

Also, what did you think of Skyfall? SPOILERS ARE OK in this thread since my entire review was spoilery.
READ COMMENTS AT YOUR OWN RISK!!!

Rory Hears A Who And Hatches The Cube

Do you want a freaking t-shirt of this comic?! I CAN HELP! Do you want a print instead? BINGO-BANGO

Doctor Who Dr. Seuss T-Shirt, Rory Centurion, Shirt Pandorica, Horton Hears a Who, Horton Hatches The Egg, Rory Hears A Who And Hatches The Cube, Rory Pond, Rory Williams,

This comic started as a Fancy Sketch Drive sketch request from Fancy Bastard Erin H. I posted the sketch on Twitter and TWITTER WENT UNSANE with favs and retweets. I contacted Erin and asked if she minded if I worked it up as a comic and shirt and she graciously obliged the use of her idea. I’m pretty happy with the outcome and I hope you enjoy it too. Thanks, Erin!

STORE NEWS!

COMMENTERS: What do you think is the most heartbreaking display of romance/affection/love in geek pop culture? 

TWO new HE Podcasts last week! 
Episode 93 and Episode 94 With Voice Actors Yuri Lowenthal and Tara Platt!