The Long Dark Friday Of The Soul


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Info about and holiday shipping deadlines for various HE-type merchandise IS HERE. PLEASE SPEND ALL OF YOUR MONEY THIS HOLIDAY SEASON AT THE HE STORE, and SHARKSPLODE OMG!!!

SHARKSPLODE CYBER MONDAY SALE!!! Get 10% off your entire order using the code: cybersplode10

Another Blackest Friday has come and gone, and yet we still persist as a species? How we keep beating the odds and prolonging our toil on this watery space rock despite our best efforts is beyond me. This year Walmart had a 40″ TV for $200. Granted, it was a shitty brand, but if you walked in a store with two crispy Ben Franklins and walked out with a TV that is wider than your neglected children are tall, you’ve got to be feeling pretty good. Of course being at Walmart at 2am, you were probably feeling pretty good because of the meth coursing through your wiry and oddly pocked and speckled body. The meth was also certainly a contributing factor to your tv getting victory. Can you imagine how many deals you would have gotten were you endowed with PCP super strength? Next year. Next year.

COMMENTERS: What’s the worst you’ve every seen a human being treat another human being at a retail/grocery/etc store? Were you one of the human beings involved?

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Once You Get To Know Him…


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I guess Frank Miller views the Internet as one big, rickety porch he can sit on, balling his fists and shaking a rake at “those damn kids” while incomprehensibly ranting heavenward about “rapists” and “whores,” and “Islamicism,” and “lawns,” “getting off of said lawns” and “all the XBox’ing.” It’s a shame when you have to reevaluate your respect for art when you find out the artist is a bit of a deranged, racist prick. I suppose Frank Miller’s more d-bagged tendencies are well know throughout those that follow comics proper. I was well aware of his “influential comics dude” status, but more so with his name being attached to movies that I rather enjoyed. Maybe each of his adapted works should include an asterisk after his name.

Frank Miller’s* Sin City
*That guy is a cantankerous fuck

COMMENTERS: Feel free to post your general thoughts on Frank Miller’s OWS rant. Is it harder to enjoy art when you learn the creator is a rapist, thieving lout… I mean, an asshole?

B.F. B.F.F.’s


Keep Your Laws Off My Ovipositor T-ShirtLook, we both know I didn’t actually post this on Black Friday. It was more like 20% Grey Sunday. Family turkey times and my lingering illness (how long can a human body actually produce dark green mucus? At least 3 weeks for sure.) kept me from finishing this comic in time for the Darkest Friday Consum-a-bration Festivi-deals.

Each year at this time we observe a moment of silence for those that parished trying to get one of the $49 Blu-Ray players at Wal-Mart. If only they realized sooner that there was an Internet where things can be purchased cheaper at than retail prices every day of the year.

Texas-style (that means large and spicy) Fancy Bastards, make sure you come on down to Dragon’s Lair Webcomic Rampage in Austin, TX Dec. 11-12. It will be fun.

Oh and, Episode 72 of The HijiNKS ENSUE Podcast is up. The Uncut Show and Post Show are in The Vault for subscribers. There’s also a FREE Calvin-TARDIS Wallpaper in The Vault.


In Blackest Friday


Just between you and me, I know this comic isn’t actually going up on Friday. One could say it was closer to the subsequent Sunday and one would be totally correct. One could also say that I’ve spent the last 3 days in a gravy and stuffing induced hybernation which would also be intensely accurate.

I had a comic planned for Black Friday some weeks ago that involved a zombie movie-esque scene where retail workers were baracaded in their store, then the deal-frenzied horde would break in and devour the savings. You can’t spell BaRgAINS without… you get the idea. Any who, I thought I was doing pretty good for planning ahead. One less comic I would have to write minutes before I started drawing. I took Thursday off for FAMILYGRAVYSPLODE! and planned to draw the comic on Black Friday. That was until the ridiculous events I had conjured up ACTUALLY OCCURED.

That fact that someone lost their life so a bunch of fuckwastes could “get their savings on” is beyond disgusting. What a pointless death. I really hope the individuals that actually stomped out that persons life, clawing and climbing over each other to save $25 on a George Foreman grill are charged with manslaughter. As soon as the doors came off the hinges, someone should have said, “whoah guys, maybe we should calm the F down.” I guess BluRay players are the new blood diamonds.

Add to that the shooting deaths at a Toys R’ Us the same day and it’s pretty easy to see that we’re doomed. If you really “don’t wanna’ grow up” shoot yourself BEFORE going to a sale at a childrens’ toy store. Ya’ know, cuz their might be CHILDREN there.