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The Birds And The… Sometimes It’s Just Birds

I LOVE the argument from homophobes that goes something like, “How am I supposed to explain to my children that their teacher is gay?!” Have you tried? It’s super easy. It goes something like, “Sometimes a boy falls in love with a girl and sometimes two boys or two girls fall in love.” The kid’s response (precluding any prevoius long term exposure to any ignorant hate-speech) typically goes something like, “Ok. I want more chicken nuggets.”

Those interested in goods from The HE Store should watch this space. I’m not saying the biggest blowout sale I’ve ever run is around the corner, but that is exactly what I am not yes are too saying. I’m saying that.

I think our daughter was four and a half when we  laid the awful truth of the homosexual agenda on her. I believe her exact response was, “I might want to marry a boy. But I MIGHT want to marry a girl.” We told her that in some states, especially the one she lives in, two boys or two girls aren’t allowed to get married even if they love each other. Her response was, “THAT’S NOT FAIR!” She says that a lot, but that time she was extremely correct in her assessment of the situation. My hope is that within 10 years the idea that two people in love can’t have that love legally recognize and be afforded the same rights as any other married couple will be a thing of the past. My kiddo will roll her eyes in disbelief at how backward things were in “my day.”

Confused? Read this comic and blog post to see what’s going on with HijiNKS ENSUE. It’s exciting stuff!

COMMENTERS: Has a kid ever floored you with how easily they grasp a seemingly complex argument or situation? They tend to cut through the BS pretty quickly and expose your hypocrisy with reckless abandon.

Have you seen my wife’s latest geeky jewelry creation? DNA Necklaces! 

DNA Necklace on Etsy

 

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morgan's avatar

morgan · 93 weeks ago

I love this. Your comics always make me happy and I’m super excited about this new direction.

5 replies · active 93 weeks ago

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Hotsauce · 93 weeks ago

For various reasons, any time I see or hear the phrases “new direction” my brain translates it to “nude erection”.
seriously's avatar

seriously · 93 weeks ago

Thank you for that, I have a meeting on Monday with a boss who uses that phrase a lot and now that image will be stuck in my brain.
Richter's avatar

Richter · 93 weeks ago

Especially when my wife made me watch Glee.
Hotsauce's avatar

Hotsauce · 93 weeks ago

I suspect the writers did that deliberately.
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FuryOfFirestorm· 93 weeks ago

My mind keeps registering it as One Direction, and then I’m left wondering what a quintet of fey British guys grabbing each other’s crotches has to do with jokes about Dr. Who and Star Trek.
As a Guest's avatar

As a Guest · 93 weeks ago

The hairy, chunky, delicious birds. It’s really nice to see a comic with a gay character AND a bear without needing to be an awful, shallow, subculture pandering mess.

2 replies · active 92 weeks ago

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FuryOfFirestorm· 93 weeks ago

So much this. Though I wouldn’t mind a little fanservice now and then, like when Josh bedded that dude from the rave. 8^)
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hijinksensue· 92 weeks ago

well, see that sort of thing would be MORE likely to happen in a story centric HE.
Jordan's avatar

Jordan · 93 weeks ago

So very excited to see the comic heading in this new direction. I’ve always been a fan, but the introduction of mini-arcs last year had me hopeful we’d one day get a larger web of continuity-driven storytelling. Glad to see it’s off to a strong start!
Rich's avatar

Rich · 93 weeks ago

You know you’re a high school science teacher when your first thought on seeing that lovely piece of handicraft is “She should only use four colors for the bases, and use them in pairs.”

4 replies · active 93 weeks ago

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gabepuratekuta· 93 weeks ago

You know you’re a Jonathan Coulton fan when you see it and thing “yep, the necklace has cancer”
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hijinksensue· 93 weeks ago

GAH! We thought about making it super accurate, but it wasnt as pretty. Maybe back to the drawing board.
Kassandra's avatar

Kassandra · 93 weeks ago

Could always argue it’s not human dna.
Chris's avatar

Chris · 93 weeks ago

You know you’re not a mature adult when your first thought is “I can make DNA necklaces too! The palette is much more monochromatic though”
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gabepuratekuta· 93 weeks ago

But you ALWAYS need the giant space laser!
lou's avatar

lou · 93 weeks ago

Giant Space Lasers: There’s no problem they can’t solve!
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thevoxpopuli· 93 weeks ago

….was that an option? I’d like to know more!
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BoldlyGettingThere · 93 weeks ago

I was listening to Podcast #18 at work last night and Joel started talking about how he’d never make the HE crew have real lives or storylines. I love seeing how organically you’ve changed your mind on that, and I’m super excited about the new direction!

1 reply · active 93 weeks ago

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hijinksensue· 93 weeks ago

It was more of a necessity than anything. Old me didn’t have that need yet.
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planetliz· 93 weeks ago

I’ve always been a fan of your daughter (man, that sounds weird) from things you posted on Twitter, and LOVE her in the comic. Great start to this new direction, I’m loving it.
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deadrobot · 93 weeks ago

My Positive reinforcement gland secretes it’s juices all over this website!

1 reply · active 93 weeks ago

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gabepuratekuta· 93 weeks ago

Maybe you should get that looked at…
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Gretchen · 93 weeks ago

Love the comic and the new direction, but I have to say, your wife is an evil genius (by which I just mean genius) with all things jewelry related! I love her designs.

1 reply · active 93 weeks ago

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hijinksensue· 93 weeks ago

Im sure she will appreciate that. thanks!
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Bill Murphy · 93 weeks ago

This is why you never overreact when a child trips and falls.
Don’t overreact, and the child gets back up.
Overreact and the child begins to cry.

Children are very sensitive to people’s reactions.
If you treat homosexuality as being a hush hush subject, they will think something is wrong with it.
If you treat it as a matter of fact and no big deal, they will not see it any differently than anything else that takes place in their world.

Great comic today! 😀

2 replies · active 93 weeks ago

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hijinksensue· 93 weeks ago

Exactly! They mirror your reaction to nearly everything. Except they amplify it.
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Toon · 93 weeks ago

Very true. There’s a fine line between “not overreacting” and “underreacting,” and I usually try not to cross it by providing immediate-but-cheerful attention when a kid trips and falls. “You’re okay? Just a bump? You’re okay.”
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PokeyPuppy · 93 weeks ago

I used to teach dance classes. I remember finally being pushed to my limit with one song on a CD that was pretty misogynistic (don’t remember the song, as this was 12 years ago). I told the class of mostly 8-yr-olds that I just didn’t want to play that song again, and when asked why, I said the lyrics were saying women were there for men to play with. The righteous indignation from the whole class made me so incredibly happy. 🙂

2 replies · active 93 weeks ago

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hijinksensue· 93 weeks ago

I took my kiddo to kids karaoke when she was maybe 4. Kids were singing Tea Pot and Old MacDonald and such. She sang Video Killed the Radio Star. Then a little girl, maybe 7, sang that Ke$Ha song about brushing your teeth with a bottle of jack. Her parents were just cheering along.
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MrPlow99 · 93 weeks ago

In their defense, JD is probably pretty good at killing the bacteria that leads to tooth decay.
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King Zilch· 93 weeks ago

It does seem like certain groups are a little obsessed with the *mechanics* of homosexuality, doesn’t it? They can’t stop focusing on the buttsex…the dirty, filthy, delicious buttsex…

Looking forward to the new buttse–I mean DIRECTION! Looking forward to the new direction!

3 replies · active 92 weeks ago

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hijinksensue· 93 weeks ago

I wonder if they know straight people can have the buttsex too?
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The Unknown FB · 93 weeks ago

No…they seem to skip over that aspect of ‘ro sex…especially if it involves any discussions of “pegging”.
And no, not the pirate kind…unless that’s your kink too.
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adamrocketblack· 92 weeks ago

In Texas, they sure did. Thats why Buttsex was specifically allowed ONLY for Straight people.
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Justplainsomething · 93 weeks ago

I remember being four (this would be circa 1989) and having a conversation with my black neighbor around my own age in the Chicago suburbs about how weird it is that black people are called black when they’re actually lots of different shades of brown. Actually a pretty nice discussion.

6 replies · active 93 weeks ago

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hijinksensue· 93 weeks ago

As far as I can tell, my daughter doesn’t know the terms “black people” and “white people.” We’ve never said anything to her to make her think people with different skin colors are especially different from each other. I know someone is going to come along and ruin this pretty soon, but for now she (correctly) believes that everyone is the same and everyone has a somewhat different skin color (same as hair color).

It just hit me for the first time how much emphasis we put on skin color and how little we put on hair color. Huh.

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InkBlot· 93 weeks ago

I was about three when I was out with my mother, and a African American mother and daughter walked into the same store we were in, and I said to my mother “Mom, that girl looks like Rudy!” (This being the height of the Cosby Show era). My mother, holding back the feeling of being mortified for a minute, worried I was going to say “because she’s black” was amused by my response “because she has the same hair style.”
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hijinksensue· 93 weeks ago

Im in the same boat with my six year old. I know she’s going to start hearing “black people” and “white people” at school and then our magical utopian dream is going to be over.
mist's avatar

mist · 93 weeks ago

often for young children ANY difference is room for riddicule… yet they’re to young to do it for cultural or systemic reasons. a comment on skin colour is just as deep as being tall or short
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Guillermo A· 93 weeks ago

I like the way your kids describe people, we can learn lots of things of their innocence. Badly, we lost it as the years pass by.
Great comic!
Dave's avatar

Dave · 93 weeks ago

Daniel Tosh has a bit on this that is pretty on the nose. Goes something like this:

“There was a commercial in California by those against gay marriage that had a little girl who said ‘Mommy! Mommy! Teacher says I can marry a princess if I want to’ WHAT WILL YOU DO WHEN YOUR CHILD SAYS THIS’ and every parent in California said “Whoa! We have to TALK to our kids? F that, sorry q***rs”

1 reply · active 93 weeks ago

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FuryOfFirestorm· 93 weeks ago

Maybe they’re just against Revolutionary Girl Utena?
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samldanach· 93 weeks ago

So, the alt text means that Dr. Robot is exactly like Rudolph, except where Santa never asked him to guide the sleigh.
Christina's avatar

Christina · 93 weeks ago

I think parents aren’t afraid they won’t know how to explain homosexuality to their kids, they’re afraid their kid will say what your daughter did – that they might someday want to marry a girl. Because deep down, they recognize that homosexuality isn’t a choice, it’s just part of who you are, and they want to shame any homosexual tendencies out of their child early on. :/ Extremely depressing.

3 replies · active 93 weeks ago

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seriously · 93 weeks ago

@ Christina

Some folks MAY be that small-minded and assholish, but I’d think a larger segment of those unwilling or unable to talk plainly with their kids about homosexuality just aren’t equipped to answer any questions their kids have without giving them bad info or confusing their kids.

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hijinksensue· 93 weeks ago

Their own fear and confusion will be amplified when they explain it to their kids. They need to get educated first, THEN teach their children. The same goes for essentially every issue.
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thehappysmith· 93 weeks ago

So, you’re saying that parenting can be hard and requires actual work? I don’t think that’s really gonna fly…
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Jenny Creed · 93 weeks ago

Some comedian’s answer went “How many people’s lives do you think it’s worth ruining so you to not have to sit down and talk to your ugly kid for five minutes?”

As to the question, not very often. I try hard not to underestimate anyone I talk to, and kids are no exception. Last summer I had a fun hour teaching the basics of chaos magic to a seven year old, no problems at all. I left out the masturbation parts, but I’m pretty sure she figured it out anyway and played along to ease my embarrassment.

It may actually be harder to explain this to adults cause they usually assume it’s either not real or not meaningful. You try mentioning the phrase “imagination technology” to people and see how fast their eyes glaze over

1 reply · active 93 weeks ago

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Beth · 93 weeks ago

Excellent and totally correct with kids. We brought it up in a “Families are wonderful because they can come in so many different ways. A Mummy and a Daddy (we’re in the UK hence Mummy and not Mommy), Two Mummies or Two Daddies.” To which my four year old replied “OR TEN DADDIES!” …apparently he thinks families without a Mummy are the best because then “They can do whatever they want!” ….I think that says a lot about my household.

6 replies · active 93 weeks ago

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seriously · 93 weeks ago

“To which my four year old replied “OR TEN DADDIES!” …apparently he thinks families without a Mummy are the best because then “They can do whatever they want!” ….I think that says a lot about my household.”

That, or your kid walked in on something pretty interesting one weekend while you were away.

Beth's avatar

Beth · 93 weeks ago

Dude weekend away? What’s that? . A different day he said I could be eaten by a Tiger so he and Daddy could do whatever they wanted. I reminded him that Daddy doesn’t make cakes with him but I do. He replied “You can help me make a cake and then get eaten by a tiger.” I can’t be too upset though, he did buy me flowers today because I was poorly.
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brigidkeely· 93 weeks ago

We read “the day I swapped my dad for 2 goldfish” and my 4 1/2 year old said he’d swap his dad for 2 goldfish– or even 1 goldfish– but he wouldn’t swap me for anything because “SOMEONE has to make me BREAKFAST!” and he wouldn’t swap our housemate for anything “because I just love him SO SO SO MUCH” (dude draws him realistic dinosaurs stomping on houses to color). Kids!
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hijinksensue· 93 weeks ago

Last night she asked us about who could have a baby. So we had to explain:

-A man and woman can make a baby
-A woman can have a baby on her own if a man or a doctor helps
-One man, one woman, Two men, Two women OR A man and a woman can adopt a baby
-Two women can have a baby if a man or a doctor helps

It was tough coming up with all the options on the spot.

Toon's avatar

Toon · 93 weeks ago

That was pretty well done. Although you could theoretically have cut it down to “Anybody can adopt a baby if they can take care of it, and most women can make babies on their own if a man or a doctor helps.”
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Jeff W. · 93 weeks ago

Awwwww!
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DuckAmuck · 93 weeks ago

I remember being 4 years old when my parents (due to important television like “Roots”) tried to explain racism to me. “Some people think they aren’t really people.” “But they LOOK like people.” Lots of stuff I completely didn’t get.
Lots of stuff I still really don’t get.
First time I heard my grandma talking a “colored boy”, I imagined purple, green, orange – it sounded so cool!

2 replies · active 93 weeks ago

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hijinksensue· 93 weeks ago

I can’t even imagine my daughter’s reaction if I tried to explain racism to her right now. She probably wouldn’t believe me.
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The Unknown FB · 93 weeks ago

Imagine growing up listening to your grandparents using the “older” terms for various foods and things, especially when a term started with the “n” word.
That always made for awkward hilarity at family gatherings.
Ceri's avatar

Ceri · 93 weeks ago

This is probably my favourite comic so far.
And that includes all Firefly references.
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Justplainsomething · 93 weeks ago

One of the many reasons I’m avoiding having kids (besides not being ready at all) is that my boyfriend and I really want to raise our kids to not feel like their family will judge them for their sexuality or how they express themselves, gender-wise. But my parents are very conservative and while she is very loving, my mom tends to make comments about gender that I know would just cut my kids to the heart. It’s one thing to have to deal with your kids having to encounter prejudice outside the home, but it would break my heart to see them happen within my family. Again not the ONLY reason I don’t want kids by a longshot, but definitely something I’ve thought about.

4 replies · active 93 weeks ago

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hijinksensue· 93 weeks ago

Im not suggesting your rush into having kids before you’re ready, but waiting until the world changes is probably not the best way to go. Putting more people in the world that are raised by kind, open minded people goes a lot farther to improving things than trying to outlast all the hateful people ever could. My mother and my wife’s extended family are extremely conservative and homophobic. I promise you can still raise a loving and intelligent child in spite of all of that.
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FuryOfFirestorm· 93 weeks ago

Did you grow up sharing the same conservative tendencies as your family, and if so, what made you more open-minded?

BTW – That comic was so adorable. You’re making it really hard to hate this new direction. (j/k – I don’t hate it, but I am mildly cautious)

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hijinksensue· 93 weeks ago

I was blindly conservative/christian/homophobic/pro-life/etc until my mid teens. Then I started to feel torn in a bunch of different directions by what I was taught to believe and how I was actually perceiving the world. Little by little it all melted away. Every year I was a little less attached to the things I was raised to believe and more to what I saw as being the truth of the world and the universe. By the time I was 25 or so it was all gone.
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FuryOfFirestorm· 93 weeks ago

So it was just a gradual shift in your attitudes and beliefs, not a sudden epiphany? Was there anyone or anything that helped nudge you along?
Tom's avatar

Tom · 93 weeks ago

You simply rock. Love how you explained it to your daughter. It’s things like that that give me hope.
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vanessa · 93 weeks ago

Hi, I am really enjoying the comic lately. I was wondering when you were finally going to get the family in it – that kind of story interests me – maybe because I have kids. And geez, after recent Dumbing of Age strips, it’s nice to see some cool parents!
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brigidkeely· 93 weeks ago

I’m enjoying your new direction and, as a parent, I love seeing comics about parents and kids. Your anatomy for Gracie is oddly off, though, and she looks less like a child and more like a middle-aged Little Person. I think a big part of it might be how you’re drawing her glasses? IDK.

1 reply · active 93 weeks ago

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hijinksensue· 93 weeks ago

well, ive drawn her twice. Go look at my early drawings of me.
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Beth · 93 weeks ago

My kid was talking to me about being scared and I in a desperate attempt to find something to comfort him taught him the “now I lay me down to sleep” prayer despite the fact I’m an atheist (he goes to a Church Of England school and his dad is Christian)

A couple of nights later he said he was still scared and I said “But you ask God to watch you” and he gave me such a disdainful look and replied with “Mum. God isn’t real. He’s just pretend.” like I was a massive idiot. I really couldn’t argue with that.

He still says the prayer sometimes though as it makes him feel safe but yes. Apparently my four year old decided he’s an Atheist.

1 reply · active 92 weeks ago

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adamrocketblack· 92 weeks ago

Teach him the Bene Gesserit Litany against Fear., modified for kids
Then he’ll want to read Dune.

“Fear” ” is.. —the little Death—– ” Nope, too scary.
“is like leaving your shoelaces untied, and they get caught in your bicycle and make you hit the ground. BOOM.

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MrPlow99 · 93 weeks ago

I emailed a link to this comic to a friend of mine, and I wanted to share what she posted about it on her FB page:

“Got this from a friend today. Passed it along to another friend, who apparently really needed it. Life sometimes overwhelms me by falling so perfectly into place for tiny little moments before slipping back into craziness. These little happenings, so beautiful.”

Thank you so much, Joel.

1 reply · active 93 weeks ago

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hijinksensue· 93 weeks ago

hey neat! Thanks!
mist's avatar

mist · 93 weeks ago

At five, I asked my Mum why boys married girls and not other boys.
I was told that was called homosexuality and told it was not allowed by law. I said that was silly.
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robotboots· 93 weeks ago

I would appreciate that you keep my illegitimate children in Mexico out of your stories but the time I killed that Space Man is still ok to tell
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FSilvermane · 93 weeks ago

Well adjusted kids usually do grasp the whole “live and let live” idea alot better than some adults. Example being I was working a Medieval Faire in OH a few years back and witnessed a girlof maybe 6-7 floor an entire audience at a stage show. Kid wanted to be at the show but Dad did not [understand Dad was being a bit of a rude patron]. Dad was complaining about the cost to get in and the cost of food plus the “freaks playing dress up” during the stage show. At one point, what was obviously a man in a dress [long beard and hairy arms like a gorilla], comes on stage introducing himself as Olga the Milk Maid. Dad pops off quite loudly about “freaks” when the kid stands up and says “Dad, your right thats a Man in a Dress,…. and that guy over there is in a wheelchair with spikes on it [was made to look like a Chariot], and that lady there is wearing a metal bathing suit [chain mail Bikini],… but you are the only one here that looks like butt. Lets find Mom so you will stop embarrassing me”. At that point the entire audience just about gave the kid a standing ovation,….lol.
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monogodo · 92 weeks ago

Back in 2005 when Texas was voting on Prop 2, my coworker’s reason for voting for it was that he didn’t want to have to explain to his kids if a married homosexual couple were to move in next door. I wondered how he’d handle it if an unmarried homosexual couple were to move in next door.
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Kaeltik · 92 weeks ago

I’ve always liked this comic. You are threatening to make me love it.

It’s Called A Changeover

Those big changes I was talking about, the new direction for HijiNKS ENSUE? This is them. These are it. Well, this is the beginning of it anyway. For the past 6 months or so (maybe a year), I’ve been feeling like I wanted to do something different with my comics. I’d get ready to write a comic pointing out how a thing in a movie was like another thing in a different movie or in some way connected to a seemingly unrelated thing and I would realize that I had already made a similar joke about a different film or TV show. The entertainment industry is cyclical and I was starting to feel like I had done every kind of gag I could do poking fun of TV and movies over the last 6 years and now I had looped back around on myself and my subject matter. I could either keep doing the same thing over and over, driving myself and my audience to apathy, or I could stretch my creative muscles in a different and challenging way.

Those interested in goods from The HE Store should watch this space. I’m not saying the biggest blowout sale I’ve ever run is around the corner, but that is exactly what I am not yes are too saying. I’m saying that.

I was also getting the nagging feeling that I wasn’t being super honest anymore with my comics. I’ve always made a point to write about the things I care about the most. Whether the joke hits home or not, the honesty and genuine emotion behind my comics is usually pretty easy to pick up on. The problem was that the things I cared the most about, being a father, raising a young geek, figuring out how to be a parent while still being myself, weren’t represented in the comics at all.

When I started doing short story lines in the comics a little over a year ago I’d find that when a story line ended, I didn’t really want to go back to pop culture jokes. I wanted the stories to keep going. But I always tread very lightly and made sure not to get too bogged down in continuity. The more I did this, the more I realized how limiting it was from a creative standpoint. I couldn’t teach you, The Fancy Bastards, how to love or hate or latch onto a character if they didn’t have any real… character! If they were just soundholes through which jokes were projected, they were completely interchangeable and indistinguishable. But in my head they are VERY different, nuanced and complex. I wanted to share these aspects of my characters with my readers in a meaningful way.

After a life-changing conversation last March with my friend Josh Cagan in a hotel lobby over a bottle of Brandy, and a few follow up creative brainstorms with David and Wil (3 writers and storytellers who I admire a great deal), I decided this would be the year that I took the plunge. This would be the year that I established continuity in HE, and gave my characters actual lives, friends, jobs, love interests and started telling stories as well as jokes.

The humor and the geekiness that the comic is built around will stay the same, but the tone with certainly shift. There will be dramatic and heartwarming moments along with the jokes. I know that sounds pretty basic, but for me it’s a MAJOR undertaking. I am going to be talking about fatherhood, marriage, and delving into the pasts of the characters that lead them to where they are now. I am going to touch on aspects of The Experiment in comic Joel’s life, and how those choices made him the man and the father that he is (or at least put him on the path to be the man and father he wants to eventually be). I have never done anything like this before and it’s super terrifying. I am prepared to lose half, if not all of my current audience and rebuild from the ground up if it means staying honest and not getting stagnant and bored with my work.

From a logistical standpoint, the first 3 or 4 HE books will encapsulate the “pop culture days” and a new book will eventually start with the comics you are reading now. The next few comics will be spent establishing a sort of fixed point in time from which to build off of. I’m going to be reintroducing the characters in a way that hopefully doesn’t feel forced.

SHORT VERSION: HE has continuity and stories now. The geek humor and what not aren’t going anywhere. The hyper-specific references to certain TV shows that most people probably don’t watch are gone (and pretty much have been for all of 2013). Timely pop culture stuff will still be explored in the Lofi Comics. If I get better and telling stories and faster at producing the comics as a result of the momentum, I will do everything in my power to produce more than 3 HE comics a week.

Commenters: Here we go. I hope you trust me enough to stick around. I think it’s going to be fun.

Have you seen my wife’s latest geeky jewelry creation? LIGHTSABER NECKLACES AND EARRINGS! 

lightsaber necklace and earrings

Comments (94)

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Taop's avatar

Taop · 93 weeks ago

“Be authentic to your dreams. Be authentic to your own idea about yourself. Grind away at your own minds and bodies until you become your own invention. Be Mad Scientists.”

― Warren Ellis

I am really quite glad to read this announcement.

I wanted to leave that Warren Ellis quote because it made me think of it.

Andy's avatar

Andy · 93 weeks ago

I like this. I liked the comic and found it funny but the lack of continuity stopped me checking in often. Can’t wait.
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benthorp· 93 weeks ago

Not going anywhere. Looking forward to the new content.
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JonS253 · 93 weeks ago

Or a Thin Mint, or something… 🙂
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Gerald · 93 weeks ago

I’m in it to win it, and by “win it,” I mean “keep reading.”
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@TheJoshAtkins · 93 weeks ago

Is this now The Experiment 2: The Quickening?

I’m in.

3 replies · active 93 weeks ago

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hijinksensue· 93 weeks ago

it IS essentially the next phase of The Experiment.
J.P.'s avatar

J.P. · 93 weeks ago

I vote for The Experiment 2: Electric Boogaloo, because that’s not overdone at all.

I’m also in. Way in. Especially, Joel, if you can walk the rest of us through this parent/self conundrum. Please. And soon. You know what I’m saying.

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hijinksensue· 93 weeks ago

I expect it will be a major theme for the months to come.
Sckazinski's avatar

Sckazinski · 93 weeks ago

A looong time ago I asked you on twitter when would you daughter appear on the comics, and you said “Never”. HAH!

1 reply · active 93 weeks ago

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hijinksensue· 93 weeks ago

Im sure that was the honest answer back then. Eventually a gut feeling starts to nag and nag and eat away at you until you’re forced to act on it.
Alex's avatar

Alex · 93 weeks ago

That’s great news!! I’ll be sticking around. I’ve enjoyed your comics before and I’m sure that won’t change with more story driven content! Good luck, Joel! I know it will be great stuff.
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LMcCJ· 93 weeks ago

I’m fairly new here, I’m staying. It’s exciting to be around an artist who is ready for a change and eager to get started. LET’S DO THIS (by which I mean, “Do this! I’ll watch from over here with my toast and coffee.”) Good luck.
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Didu· 93 weeks ago

I’m excited!
It’s been interesting to see the comic change, not just the development in art but in your storytelling skills as well. I love the longer arcs, keen to see what the addition of Kiddo brings to them!

1 reply · active 93 weeks ago

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Wesley · 93 weeks ago

Oh my god, how could you do this?! Continuity? Actual character development? OMG..

Just kidding. This is only the next logical step, and I’ll be sticking around. It’s not really surprising either.. the arcs from before felt way more inspired than the one-off gags that came in between and it’s been clear that you have a very deep understanding of how your characters behave and on what basis. The interaction between the foreground and background in the “Why do you buy dvd’s”-arc made that especially clear.

I’m very interested to see how this works out and love the fact that you decided to add continuity. Also, I’m pretty sure you’ll rock it.

JoJo's avatar

JoJo · 93 weeks ago

whoa, great news!! long time reader, and i can’t wait to see how this is going to develop! 🙂
Catjuju's avatar

Catjuju · 93 weeks ago

I’m going to comment as part of the readership you are prepared to lose. That other half that say ‘I liked the repetitive in-jokes, the recycled geek memes, and they are going away? I hear you say you’ll be doing a strip about fatherhood and heart warming stuff, no way!”

Because that was my initial reaction. However, even as that guy I still have enough faith in your talent to keep going. You are the guy that did the Experiment, so if you did any less than follow your real calling I would be truly disappointed.

Also as a long time reader I have seen your behind the scene nature come through in all the aspects of the work that is not just on the comic. Facebook, Twitter and Instagram have shown that you have a great family and a great, geeky life that is worth representing.

Then, after just a little reflection I find all my cynicism has melted away and I am riled up for you DO IT! Huzzah for the continued and expanded Experiment! Three cheers for Joel!

1 reply · active 93 weeks ago

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hijinksensue· 93 weeks ago

That was a harrowing emotional journey you just went on. Thanks for sticking around!
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planetliz· 93 weeks ago

This is fantastic news! You should develop your comic in the way that makes you happy, and we’ll all be pleased to stick around for the ride.

I am definitely excited. You’re gonna kill it (in a good way).

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dslartoo· 93 weeks ago

I am actually delighted by this. HE has always struck me a bit as a comic which is swinging around, trying to find its direction. Sometimes there would be self-contained storylines with continuity and then sometimes right in the middle of those there would be gag-a-day strips. It was a bit jarring sometimes, but I stuck with it because I love your artwork and your sense of humor.

Now, it sounds like you’ve finally settled on where you want to go and what you want to do with the comic. Far from being upset, I’m really looking forward to seeing what you do with these characters. The comics I love the most these days are the ones with plenty of continuity and backstory, where there’s a continuous and ongoing story, where the characters (and sometimes the artwork!) grow and change and evolve.

Can’t wait to see how it turns out! And because it bears repeating — we Fancy Bastards are here for you, supporting you all the way. Go now, and Write, and Draw! We’ll be here, cheering you on.

cheers,
Phil

6 replies · active 92 weeks ago

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hijinksensue· 93 weeks ago

“a comic which is swinging around, trying to find its direction.”

Yep. No argument here. I almost want to wipe out the previous 6 years of archives and start over.

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dslartoo· 93 weeks ago

Hell, don’t do that (yeah, I know you said “almost”, and weren’t serious). It was a part of your artistic journey. Be proud of it because without those six years you wouldn’t have discovered what you wanted. 🙂

cheers,
Phil

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hijinksensue· 93 weeks ago

Still though, I will probably make a distinction in the archives between the current comics and the “early years” so new readers dont get confused.
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synthphyle· 93 weeks ago

You could always divide the archives up into “Phases,” and then of course sub-divide chronologically, so people won’t be forced to always start at the beginning of Phase “X.”
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hijinksensue· 93 weeks ago

something like that. Yes.
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adamrocketblack· 92 weeks ago

This strikes terror in my heart!
will's avatar

will · 93 weeks ago

I can’t speak for everyone, but I can speak for myself. I have enjoyed your comic for the past 3(?) years or so, and I’m Damn well looking forward to what the future will bring from you. Keep doing what you love. If you are honest to that, everything else falls into place.
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Bill Murphy · 93 weeks ago

I think this is fantastic! Your characters are a lot of fun. But I really wanted to get to know more about them. I can’t wait to see where you go as you dive into their backgrounds. 😀
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King Zilch· 93 weeks ago

Best of luck, Joel – looking forward to seeing how this new iteration evolves!
Sherry's avatar

Sherry · 93 weeks ago

I think this is a wonderful upgrade, and I’m not one that typically likes the things I love to change. I think your honesty and courage should be applauded (loudly!), and I look forward to what the future of HE will bring.

Congratulations on a wonderful new era, Joel! I’m here to stay!

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thevoxpopuli· 93 weeks ago

I’m excited as hell.
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hijinksensue· 93 weeks ago

I plan to delve into some of that with the new comics. The life I used to live, how I got here, what changed and why. I think it will make for some interesting story telling if I do it right.
Chelsea's avatar

Chelsea · 93 weeks ago

I’m excited! I think it’s great you’re doing this, Joel, and I’ll be sticking around to see what happens.
robert's avatar

robert · 93 weeks ago

Well, I’m a little suprised that the comments are all positive. I’m excited for you, and I’m not likely to stop tracking the comic. However, it would be dishonest to say that I’m excited about the child. I hope you prove me wrong.
Biscuit Eater's avatar

Biscuit Eater · 93 weeks ago

This looks fun and new and fun! I’m looking forward to it. Good luck, you fancy bastard!
Karen's avatar

Karen · 93 weeks ago

I consider myself to be a relatively new reader since I just discovered HE a couple of years ago. Your geek and pop culture commentary is some of my favorite in comic form. I enjoyed the change to small story arcs you did last year. As long as there are still silly references in there occasionally I’m in for Experiment 2.0.
Rebecca's avatar

Rebecca · 93 weeks ago

I will be sticking around, for sure. I’ve told you before how much it warms my heart (and makes me call my dad) to know that you are raising geeky girl child. I’m glad that you are making changes that are meaningful to you, and I’m confident that the comic will only improve because of that.
Fren's avatar

Fren · 93 weeks ago

Sounds good to me, man. You keep on posting ’em, I’ll keep on reading ’em, nobody gets hurt.

And raising a geeky girl child is the best thing. I adore mine to bits and trip all over myself to indulge her nerdy whims.

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Siirenias · 93 weeks ago

HE with continuity?

Consider me terrified but curious.

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joshshoberg· 93 weeks ago

Fuck yeah. I’m in.
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jujyfruit0· 93 weeks ago

I’m thrilled with this new direction. I started reading HE because it was SO different from other webcomic formats, but I’ve come to realize that what brings me back day after day to many comics is the continuity. It’s a good thing. I can’t wait. Thanks for staying so open & honest with your fans; it means a lot. You continue to be a creative inspiration to me. God Speed, Head Fancy Bastard.
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Chris Ogilvie· 93 weeks ago

Hey, Joel? I’m absolutely looking forward to this. No joke.
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bubujin_2 · 93 weeks ago

Joel, I’ve only been reading HE for the last couple of years or so but have enjoyed it so much that I;m always disappointed when there’s no update. So I’m in for the long haul. Keep in mind that your snarky, humorous geek references are like a PSA to me. I live outside of the U.S. and your pearls of wisdom and nerd-filled comments help lead me to movies and TV shows I hadn’t been aware of previously or overlooked or neglected to consider.
Carol Elaine's avatar

Carol Elaine · 93 weeks ago

You’ll be keeping this reader. I’ve loved reading HE the last few years, even though there’s been no continuity, because it’s freaking hilarious. But I love continuity and character development. I love becoming invested in the characters’ lives to the point where I care about them. Combine that with your awesome humor and I am doubly there.

W00t!

Mike's avatar

Mike · 93 weeks ago

Sign me up. Always interested in a good Dramady.
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futabakun· 93 weeks ago

I gotta be honest with ya. You won’t be keeping me as a reader. You’ll be gaining me.

I’ve been dabbling at the edges of HE for a long while. I like the format, and I enjoy just about every webcartoonist you’ve associated with on Twitter and conventions. You even drew a lovely sketch for me in Chicago of Uhura doing her fan dance (I tipped well, I suspect), but in the end, there wasn’t a sense of growth or progress about the series that grabbed me. But I always saw the talent and (I know you’ll hate this word) the potential in this series to be more than just jokes. With this announcement, I’m now committing to your series. I have that much faith in you. Plus I know Willis will now REALLY let you have it if you screw up!

2 replies · active 93 weeks ago

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hijinksensue· 93 weeks ago

I appreciate the candor. I suspect you are indicative of a large percentage of my former audience. Those who liked something about what I was doing but never got that something with enough consistency to really latch onto it.
Galley Slave's avatar

Galley Slave · 93 weeks ago

I for one am SHOCKED and or APPALLED! I’m leaving and NEVER COMING BACK UNTIL YOU CHANGE IT BACK!…Or TOMORROW…Which ever comes first ;p ;p ;p

But seriously, as long as you are making changes to your comic, could we get a G+ button?

1 reply · active 93 weeks ago

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hijinksensue· 93 weeks ago

The big green sharing button in the navigation under the comics has a G+ button in it.
David's avatar

David · 93 weeks ago

Fancy Bastard checking in. Not going anywhere. I love a good storyline so I’m curious to see where you’ll take this.
HikingViking's avatar

HikingViking · 93 weeks ago

I think you’ll keep a lot more Fancy Bastards than you think Joel. One of my favorite things about getting older, and maturing, is watching artists that I like do the same. Be it musicians, comic artists, actors, or authors, I find that the creators I like the most are the ones who grow and change. I’m happy that you’re making the leap.

1 reply · active 93 weeks ago

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hijinksensue· 93 weeks ago

“One of my favorite things about getting older, and maturing, ”

Its probably that I was just delaying that as long as possible.

Conrad's avatar

Conrad · 93 weeks ago

Here to stay, Joel!!

Keep going where YOU want to go!!

FuryOfFirestorm's avatar

FuryOfFirestorm · 93 weeks ago

Whenever a TV show starts to get stale, they usually add a cute kid to the mix, like Cousin Oliver on the Brady Bunch, or Olivia on the Cosby Show. Hmm…I’m sensing a pattern here…

How about naming the kid Olivest? She’ll be even more Olive than Olivia and Oliver combined!

2 replies · active 93 weeks ago

FuryOfFirestorm's avatar

FuryOfFirestorm · 93 weeks ago

BTW – I’m sticking around. My remark was playful teasing, not butthurt nerdrage, so keep those pistols holstered, OK?
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hijinksensue· 93 weeks ago

Im not “adding a kid” as much as Im “adding a life” and she was the first step.
Jason's avatar

Jason · 93 weeks ago

I’m in. Loved Hijinks Ensue so far and I am excited about the new direction. Can’t wait to see what you have in store for us Joel!
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autojim· 93 weeks ago

I’m in for the haul, Joel. Excitedly curious to see where you take this.
Rikonius's avatar

Rikonius · 93 weeks ago

Looking forward to seeing where this new direction takes Hijinks Ensue. Also wondering whether you’ll toss a “KHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN-tinuity!” joke in there.
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hijinksensue· 93 weeks ago

The apathy thing is hard to hear but impossible for me to ignore. I knew people felt this way whether they were saying it or not. We’re moving in the right direction.
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jldavis0340· 93 weeks ago

I’m really excited about this! You’re an awesome dude, Joel, and I wish you the best of luck in this next phase of The Experiment. Being true to the changes you feel you should make is really important, and I think it’s also pretty brave. Kudos, sir!
Blahman's avatar

Blahman · 93 weeks ago

Blah blah blah nothing but support blah.
Ceri's avatar

Ceri · 93 weeks ago

Nice try, but it takes more than a little continuity and real life to get rid of me!
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DetailBear· 93 weeks ago

I’m in, and I know you were waiting with bated breath for my opinion, right? Right? Joel? Joel? Anyone?
Fred's avatar

Fred · 93 weeks ago

“I could either keep doing the same thing over and over”

It worked for Peanuts for 50 years… and Family Circus.

Your insecurities are kind of cute… I can’t really imagine that many if any people will stop reading your fine comic just because it will be story-based.

It would take a complete disaster for me to stop reading… and you are more than capable to not create a disaster.

On the other hand, maybe I am not a good judge… I mean… I still read Looking For Group, for chrissakes.

#1 thing IMO you can do to build and keep your audience happy- establish a consistent posting schedule. Get a backup built up.

Good luck!

3 replies · active 93 weeks ago

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hijinksensue· 93 weeks ago

“establish a consistent posting schedule”

my biggest failing for the last 6 years. I know how important it is and yet Ive never been able to keep to one. We’ll see if it works this time around.

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hijinksensue· 93 weeks ago

“your content has mainly been a reaction to something to this point there is no real way to store it up.”

You just summed up my ongoing dilemma for the last 6 years. Cant have a buffer because the stuff Im going to make fun of hasnt happened yet. NO MORE!

I honestly feel so much more free not being bound to scouring geek news sites for inspiration.

WaytoomanyUID's's avatar

WaytoomanyUID’s · 93 weeks ago

OMG! Hijinks Ensue has jumped the aardvark! Caught Jaws Syndrome!

But seriously, it’s your comic, do what you want. At the worst you’ll provide us with fodder for CAD style memes. Hopefully it will be more like Girls with Slingshots and Something Positive

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LogopolisMike· 93 weeks ago

As long as you don’t try to convince me that any new arrival is the Key transformed into human form by a group of monks, I am totally okay with this.

(Who am I kidding – I would probably also be all over that.)

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synthphyle· 93 weeks ago

Well, I’m glad that you’re taking your work in a new direction! Not that I had any problems whatsoever with the previous directions the comic was moving in; far from it! I just hate to see an EXCELLENT comic get bogged down and static, never changing, never improving. I like to see art and content that evolves over time; If most of the many webcomics I read never changed/evolved from the way they were at the beginning, I would probably stop reading them. I LOVE watching the art & writing improve over time; to me, it proves that the creators give a shit about their creation!
Wikipediocracy's avatar

Wikipediocracy · 93 weeks ago

Now I have something to come back to. I have been bookmarking your comic this year. I am now a fan.
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baboontheatre· 92 weeks ago

A more important issue is why your doorbell goes “doorbell sound” instead of just ringing or buzzing. Where can I get one of those?
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hijinksensue· 92 weeks ago

psssst… don’t tell anyone… it’s because I have always been terrible at drawing women.
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adamrocketblack· 92 weeks ago

BUT, But …
There are no “fixed points in time” for ComicLord Victorious. Allon-Sy
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adamrocketblack· 92 weeks ago

I AM re posting this from G since its a Fancy Desert there:
*So, dont miss the woof for the warp—or the Warf…*

Just Dont throw away the Girl scout, out with the Non-thin mints .

First, as a long term reader, I want to validate that some of your instincts are spot-on. Character development was missing in the before “The Experiment”.
I actually got some of the characters mixed up sometimes, because you used them as interchangable joke tellers.
BUT, it always seemed this was a _rather small_ flaw.
Since the characters were all real people I just had to read your other media.

But heres is what I think you are missing now: the role your comic plays in readers lives. Just as your real life was opaquely missing from the strip, paradoxically in a semiautobiographical strip; You are in danger of overlooking all the very non-superfical ways you HAVE been connecting to your readers the whole time.

First, the strip works as a fantastical reflection of your life, your Geek Life.
As long as you keep it a fantastical reflection, it should still work.

While you _now_ perceive the original run as superficial pop-culture, there is a LOT MORE depth to it. While it wasnt primarily about plotting or characters, IT WAS ABOUT PURE IDEAS. And Friendships.

I am glad you talked to WIl, because, he is, like you and a handful of people, creating geek-culture centered art & content. You have ALWAYS had a bigger cultural footprint than you imagine. I could write entire essays in your role as an gay- ally in culture , and your role in normalizing the life-experiences of the peripheral and invisible ( to popculture ).
Was riffing on pop-culture EVER really _the message_?
or was it the medium of a cultural ambassador?

Because I ( like most, I suspect ) read the blog strips below the strips, It doesnt seem weird to have your child in the strip.
YOU ALWAYS COULD HAVE DROPPED HER IN HER, with no explanation,
( You didnt need the feather to fly, Dumbo ) —- but it especially would have worked Post-Apocalypse, as a cultural criticism of Marvel ( post- “House of M” and DC ( “the new 52” ).

So, dont miss the woof for the warp—or the Warf. What to you, seemed like a vast missing universe that you want to make up for, looks to us, long-term readers of the comic/blog, just like a few missing pieces.
Or so I hope.
Good luck.

Confessions Of A Teenage DRAM Queen

Oh man, my speaking gig at Bumbershoot in Seattle was a FANTASTIC time. They might post audio of my talk soon, but it won’t make as much sense if you can’t see my presentation. I’ll see if there’s a way to sync them up. Having taken this leap, I am officially available for speaking gigs. Do you have an event that needs an informative, inspirational and pretty-damn-funny talking guy? That’s me! Let me know. Enormous thanks to my good friend Corn Mo for arranging the whole thing. He has a new song about Frankenstein which I absolutely LOVE.

Wrapping up this storyline in the next comic or two. Then… big changes for HE. I’m super nervous, but excited about going in a new direction.

Those interested in goods from The HE Store should watch this space. I’m not saying the biggest blowout sale I’ve ever run is around the corner, but that is exactly what I am not yes are too saying. I’m saying that.

Have you seen my wife’s latest geeky jewelry creation? MOTHER EFFING LIGHTSABER NECKLACES AND EARRINGS! 

lightsaber necklace and earrings

COMMENTERS: Do you know a tech-meddler? Someone who can’t leave the settings and drivers and color calibrations well enough alone? Is it you?! For shame!

Comments (32)

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hijinksensue· 93 weeks ago

Thanks! Im trying to push myself gesture and face-wise.
FuryOfFirestorm's avatar

FuryOfFirestorm · 93 weeks ago

They seem like a throwback to the art that HE had when you started. I kind of prefer the “pre- five fingers” art, when the characters had round eyes instead of narrow rectangles. I felt they were a lot more expressive. Just my opinion – I still like the comic though! 8^)
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hijinksensue· 92 weeks ago

If anything this comic is representative of the EXACT OPPOSITE of what I was drawing when the comic first started. I had no control, no perspective, no idea what I was doing. Big expressive faces are one tool in the toolbox. Conveying subtle emotions is MUCH harder to do. Not ever situation requires your biggest hammer.
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FuryOfFirestorm· 92 weeks ago

I agree. Your art is A LOT more varied and expressive compared to when you first started. Keep up the great work!
Ali's avatar

Ali · 93 weeks ago

I don’t necessarily CHANGE every setting, but I will go through every tab of every preference pane of every application just to make sure there isn’t a better option than the default. I sometimes change things to see if I like them and then change them back when I decide the old way was better. I don’t do it to other people’s computers, though…with one exception. If they’re using IE I will replace it with Firefox.

1 reply · active 93 weeks ago

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gabepuratekuta· 93 weeks ago

As you should do with IE
nenslo's avatar

nenslo · 93 weeks ago

I just want to say FUCK NATURAL SCROLLING

PS. It would have sounded far less sexual if you had said you’re going to perform a five knuckle gesture across his face.

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DeadRobot · 93 weeks ago

This arc is freaking me out. I did what Josh did once, years ago and this is playing out exactly IRL. Sans jokes.

1 reply · active 93 weeks ago

hijinksensue's avatar - Go to profile

hijinksensue· 93 weeks ago

At least it’s eliciting a response. That’s the goal.
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hijinksensue· 93 weeks ago

I figured at least someone would appreciate that.
lou's avatar

lou · 93 weeks ago

Took a couple of rereads, but I got it!
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josh· 93 weeks ago

ITS NOT MY FAULT. You set up EVERYTHING wrong. AND NATURAL SCROLLING IS IN FACT THE CORRECT SETTING MOTHERFUCKER.

13 replies · active 92 weeks ago

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hijinksensue· 93 weeks ago

I feel it is my responsibility to point out that I am only borrowing your tech-meddler tendencies to create a fictional drama. Even though this all all basically 100% true (other than the email reading), I was never actually this mad about it. This is just a means to a larger end in the story. Also fuck natural scrolling to death.
nenslo's avatar

nenslo · 93 weeks ago

Yes! Thank you! Natural Scrolling can go bite my arse.
lou's avatar

lou · 93 weeks ago

Wait, what’s so bad about Natural scrolling? And how do I know if I’m doing it?!
FuryOfFirestorm's avatar

FuryOfFirestorm · 93 weeks ago

If your scrolls contain HFCS and produce greenhouse gasses, then you’re not using Natural Scrolling.

Try checking out Whole Foods. You can find Natural Scrolling next the Earth-Friendly Papyrus and Low-Carbon Emission Cuneiforms.

Ali's avatar

Ali · 93 weeks ago

High fructose CORN syrup is natural. It comes from CORN. You can grow organic, all-natural, sustainably farmed corn and make corn syrup out of it.
FuryOfFirestorm's avatar

FuryOfFirestorm · 93 weeks ago

HFCS is created by processing the living shit out of corn and exposing it to 3 different enzymes with names that sound like intergalactic warlords. That doesn’t sound very natural to me.

Cigarettes contain tobacco, which is a natural plant, but that doesn’t make cigarettes “natural”.

Ali's avatar

Ali · 93 weeks ago

Tobacco, even outside of cigarettes, is still pretty damn bad for you. You know what else is natural? Hemlock. Poison dart frogs. Deadly nightshade. What is this “natural” fetish that makes you think natural things are better than anything else? And HFCS is still just sugar that comes from corn. Who gives a fuck how big a word they use? It’s fructose. The same sugar that’s in all-natural apples, or strawberries, or whatever other fruit you wanna name. Stop being scared of big words.
FuryOfFirestorm's avatar

FuryOfFirestorm · 93 weeks ago

WOW, the internet is SERIOZ BIZNEZ to you. Relax and take a breath, dude.

From just one joke and a reply, you extrapolate that I have a “natural” fetish? Natural doesn’t automatically make something good, it just signifies that it wasn’t made by fucking around in a lab or processing it within an inch of it’s life.

Ali's avatar

Ali · 93 weeks ago

Nah, dispelling ignorance is srs bsns to me. So is food, actually. You seem to be the one who’s not relaxed, here, but okay. As glad as you know being natural isn’t the be-all and end-all of healthy food. And science isn’t teh evil…labs are not terrible by their very existence. Just because something was made by humans does not make it bad.
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FuryOfFirestorm· 93 weeks ago

You really need to learn to stop making assumptions. I never said that making something in a lab makes it bad (Life saving medications are made in labs! That’s Good!), just that I prefer not to eat something that’s spent more time getting tinkered with in a factory than the time it takes for me to digest it and excrete it from my anus. I’d rather just eat an apple off a tree than eat an apple that been processed down to a paste, mixed with 42 different chemicals and fillers, and then sold as “health bars”.
Ali's avatar

Ali · 93 weeks ago

Sssshhhh baby it’s okay. Just relax. You eat whatever you want.
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hijinksensue· 92 weeks ago

You need to observe the one and only rule of my comments: Don’t be a dick.

That includes no personal attacks or fight picking.

Ali's avatar

Ali · 92 weeks ago

Who’s attacking? I was trying to have a conversation.
DuckAmuck's avatar

DuckAmuck · 93 weeks ago

I had a brother-in-law (notice “had”) who would borrow the family’s computer, change all the settings, download new programs, remove already installed programs, and then leave without setting ANYTHING back to where it started. And then he couldn’t figure out why the entire rest of the family didn’t like it.
And he wasn’t doing it out of any kind of “knowledge” about the subject, either.

1 reply · active 93 weeks ago

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FuryOfFirestorm · 93 weeks ago

I have a friend with a similar problem. Her cousin will borrow her laptop without asking, then change the settings to his liking, and then torrents god-knows-what from god-knows-where, which ends up clogging her computer with that shit from Russian hackers that keeps popping up a fake virus warning in order to trick you into going to a site that lets them access your computer. (I know this because she asks me to fix up the mess her cousin made and restore the settings and “clean” it out.)
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seriously · 93 weeks ago

One of my aunts is an infamous tech meddler. Now if she only had a freaking clue about what she was doing I probably wouldn’t mind it so much.

But being the family “tech guy’ I’m the idiot who is stuck undoing whatever fresh hell she calls me up about at odd hours and on the weekends.

Some of her “gems”

“I think I might have changed the TCP/IP settings on this. What are TCP/IP settings by the way?”

“Hey, just a quick question…how do you change the language back to English if you clicked on Estonian just to see what it’d be like?”

“Why do they let you just throw stuff away from your computer if it’s so damn important?”

(This was said in reference to her accidentally deleting a shitload of DLL files she thought were “cluttering up” her computer. DLL files she wouldn’t normally have access to by the way since I removed her as an administrator on her own computers. But I was over at her house fixing something else, and signed in on that computer, but I foolishly left her alone with it while I went to the bathroom.)

She once attempted to disconnect her monitor so she could move her desktop computer from her living room to her home office. Assuming she could work her way through this I talked her through it over the phone.

Me: “See those screws on either side of the plug leading from the monitor? Yes…the TV-looking part. Now, just unscrew them both, GENTLY pull the plug out and wait for uncle Harold to carry it upstairs for you…okay?”

Her: “Boy there sure are a lot of screws back here, are you sure I have to unscrew them ALL?”

Me: “No, no just the two on the plug from the monitor. Yes, the TV. Just those two, leave the other screws alone, okay?”

I still got stuck at her house an hour later putting her monitor back together AND lugging her old CRT monitor and computer to her home office.

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lou · 93 weeks ago

I am my family’s official tech meddler. And they LOVE me for it! Need a printer installed…on the home network? I’m your man. I’ll even connect everyone’s laptops to it, too! Replacing the wireless router and need to rebuild the network from square one? This guy! My folks leave their laptops open and running (and unguarded) so I take the initiative to resolve all the update warnings I find on the lower-right corners of the screens. When I find a tech issue, I give a half suggestion/half ultimatum about what I’m going to do about it. Then they give me $20 to fix it NOW. I believe I wrote before about the time my parents freaked out after the first time they turned on our Sony Blu-ray player and saw the Home menu’s interface.
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Jenny Creed · 93 weeks ago

Oh man that title is like Wonderella quality. xD

Take With A Grain Of Kryptonite

OH COME ON! That’s no fun! I thought Walter White would have made a great Lex Luthor. Can he at least be Darkseid? He could cook up the Anti-Life Equation in an old RV in Space. Hell, New Mexico is practically Apokolips already. Just open fire pits and lava geysers everywhere.

SEATTLE FANCY BASTARDS WHO AREN’T GOING TO PAX!!! 

I will be participating in this Bumbershoot panel series this weekend!

My bit is:
Sat 31 Aug 2pm
Seattle, WA
The Leo K Theater
155 Mercer Street Seattle WA 98109
2nd and Mercer in the Seattle Center
[Ticket Info here]

Have you seen my wife’s latest geeky jewelry creation? MOTHER EFFING LIGHTSABER NECKLACES AND EARRINGS! 

lightsaber necklace and earrings

COMMENTERS: Who would you like to see play Lex Luthor? Alternately, make up some more headlines from this “reputable movie news” site.

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gabepuratekuta's avatar - Go to profile

gabepuratekuta· 92 weeks ago

I believe you’ve got that backwards
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tomspeelman· 94 weeks ago

He actually did play Gordon in the Batman: Year One animated movie.
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Liam · 94 weeks ago

I would like to see John Malkovich as Lex Luthor.
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Richter · 94 weeks ago

Ving Rhames as Lex Luthor!
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Bruceski · 94 weeks ago

Kevin Spacey again. Forever.
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thehappysmith· 93 weeks ago

John…
Wait for it…

Turturro.

Lex Luthor is Jesus, bitch.

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Liam · 93 weeks ago

Nicolas Cage
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hijinksensue· 93 weeks ago

Im happy to be your filter.
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Galley Slave · 93 weeks ago

Michael Madsen
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Dave · 92 weeks ago

Quentin Tarantino as Lex Luthor
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Nechie · 92 weeks ago

Bieber as Robin O.o

Concerning Camels’ Backs And Straws Thereupon

Following up on this comic and wrapping up this storyline in the next couple of comics. Then… big changes for HE.

SEATTLE FANCY BASTARDS WHO AREN’T GOING TO PAX!!! 

I will be participating in this Bumbershoot panel series this weekend!

My bit is:
Sat 31 Aug 2pm
Seattle, WA
The Leo K Theater
155 Mercer Street Seattle WA 98109
2nd and Mercer in the Seattle Center
[Ticket Info here]

Have you seen my wife’s latest geeky jewelry creation? MOTHER EFFING LIGHTSABER NECKLACES AND EARRINGS! 

lightsaber necklace and earrings

COMMENTERS: Have you ever had a friend or roommate that took one too many liberties with your stuff, your privacy, or your space?

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KWCarlson35 · 94 weeks ago

Nice, I like the focus effects in panels 4 and 5.

3 replies · active 94 weeks ago

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Robbi · 94 weeks ago

I was just about to say that. It’s very animation like. I love the attention to details like that!
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Candace · 94 weeks ago

Yeah, awesome comic today, Joel!
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gabepuratekuta· 94 weeks ago

The Bluray for Wrath of Khan is out?? Awesome!
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seriously · 94 weeks ago

Have you ever had a friend or roommate that took one too many liberties with your stuff, your privacy, or your space?

Yes, oh my God yes. Renny (who my friends know as TWRE The Worst Roommate Ever) thought nothing of helping himself to anything of mine and using/consuming it all.

Occasionally eat the last Nutter Butter? Fine, that doesn’t bother me. But Renny damn near tackled me whenever I came back from the grocery store and ransacked the bags before I was done getting stuff out of the car.

The man NEVER bought anything on his own, or offered to pay me back for what he took, and when I finally confronted him about it, he blamed it all on his family.

He was the youngest of seven, so if he ever wanted anything at home he had to take it and use/eat it before his brothers or sisters took it from him. Which sounded downright heartbreaking (and a little fucked up) but as it turns out was totally bullshit.

One day his mom came over while he was out and I asked her how bad Renny had it growing up in such a way. Yeah, Renny’s dad was some kind of mega rich doctor, and his mom used to be a college professor who made shitloads of dough giving speeches.

He had two little sisters, and never had to want for anything as a kid.

Renny found a new place to live shortly after that.

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Hielario · 94 weeks ago

My mates at college did some ridiculous things to my own room. The worst thing was once that i forgot to lock the door after going out and, at my return, I found a shopping cart thrown on my bed, and newspapers and ketchup everywhere.

2 replies · active 94 weeks ago

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Candace · 94 weeks ago

That’s pretty crazy.
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Hielario · 94 weeks ago

And they did that one while sober. When they were drunk they were worse, but the shopping cart was just the craziest.
Candace's avatar

Candace · 94 weeks ago

I had a roommate in college who liked to rearrange the furniture in our dorm room while I was out – without even warning me in advance. The straw that broke the camel’s back was when I came in really late one night (technically morning), and she was already in bed asleep with the lights out. Stupid me, trying to be polite and not disturb her by turning the overhead light on, and thinking that I knew where everything in the room was, tried to navigate to the sink in the dark to turn on the somewhat less obnoxious light over the sink.

Being an incorrigible barefooter, I had already kicked my shoes off at the door, and was on my way to the sink when I kicked something really hard that wasn’t supposed to be there. It turned out to be my bed leg. It hurt like a motherfucker, and I yelled loudly enough to wake up not only my roommate, but probably everyone in that entire wing of the dorm. When I went to the sports doctor on campus the next day, it turned out I had broken a toe. That was the one and only time in my life I have ever broken a bone. All because of my stupid roommate rearranging the stupid furniture while I was out.

Needless to say, from that point forward, whenever I came in after dark and the lights were out, I flipped the switch by the door that turned on the obnoxious overhead light, so I could see where the furniture had been moved to this time. Courtesy was dead.

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moffattbooks· 94 weeks ago

oh, I sense this isn’t going to end well for somebody….a murdered person on the way….and then his phone and tech stolen so no one can use his geekiness for evil again?

I never got into hacking…life is simpler that way. Use the Force of Geek for Good!

2 replies · active 94 weeks ago

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UnderTheDark · 94 weeks ago

Well, it HAS been a while since Josh was killed in a totally-gruesome-yet-justified manner…
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hijinksensue· 94 weeks ago

A really long time actually.
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benthorp· 94 weeks ago

Wait….. _big_changes_ for HE?!? /me is nervous now 🙁

1 reply · active 94 weeks ago

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hijinksensue· 94 weeks ago

Don’t worry. It’s all good things.
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Neph Sy · 94 weeks ago

Hey, I noticed that Hijinks Ensue joined in with other comics like Girls with Slingshots, Eerie Cuties, etc.(through Hiveworks??)
Just wanted you to know that when I click on the Hijinks drawing, the LINK ISN’T WORKING to HijinksEnsue.
Google Chrome message is Oops Google Chrome could not find http. Did you mean Hijinksensue.com (this is a link that connect to your site).

Firefox message is: Firefox can’t find the server at http.

2 replies · active 94 weeks ago

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gabepuratekuta· 94 weeks ago

They must’ve fixed it. I went back to the HE main page when I clicked it
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hijinksensue· 94 weeks ago

Im guessing for a while there was no www. or http:// in the link. Seems to work now.
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Guillermo A· 94 weeks ago

I’ll be so upset like him!
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Candace · 94 weeks ago

Huh, I attempted to post a pretty good annoying roommate story on here, but it doesn’t ever seem to have appeared.

1 reply · active 94 weeks ago

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hijinksensue· 94 weeks ago

I’ll check the ones that were mistakenly flagged as spam.
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bionelly · 94 weeks ago

Not exactly a roommate or friend, but once when I was a kid, after we moved into a new house, the realtor kept a set of keys without telling us so that she could let herself into the house when we weren’t around (which she did, several times.) Keep in mind this was after we had bought the house and moved in, so she had no legitimate reason to have anything to do with the house anymore. Luckily she didn’t steal anything or truly mess anything up, but it was still kinda creepy, especially since she honestly didn’t seem to understand why we were upset when we found out.
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Alex · 93 weeks ago

When I was in college I had a roommate who was a wanna-be rapper (and not a good one.) Needless to say, this meant that at all hours of the night he would be in the living room of our tiny apartment (which did not have thick walls), headphones adorned, rapping along with his favorite rappers at ungodly volume levels because he couldn’t hear himself speaking over his already loud headphones. One night our other roommate got so fed up with him that I awoke to yelling in our living room and the wanna-be rapper kid threatening to “take him out.” Now note, this kid was a scrawny little kid from the suburbs of Palo Alto while my other roommate was a weight lifter from Hawaii with arms thicker than the base of a streetlight…so it probably wouldn’t have ended well for the kid if he had actually stayed to follow up with his claims >.<

I also recall another roommate of mine while I attended military school who felt it necessary to play his electric guitar in the middle of the night while I was asleep on the top bunk…now granted, he couldn’t turn it up too loud without having one of the TAC officers swing by, but it’s still impossible to sleep when you have horrible distorted chunking on a PA speaker 6 feet away from your head

Guess I have a knack for finding roommates who can’t sleep? Glad I’m engaged with a house of our own now…sheesh

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Bill Murphy · 93 weeks ago

Sharing a bedroom with a younger brother. Yes, constantly. It was the way of my adolescent life.