Cosmic Sans

I wrote at least three different comics about “Darmok.” I am definitely making at least one of them, but I haven’t decided if I’m going to save it for later or just do it now. I also haven’t decided if I’m just going to give up HijiNKS ENSUE and FANEURYSM and just make Darmok comics every day until I’m dead. Decisions are tough. It feels like that one time… with Temba… and the arms or whatever. Metaphors are also tough.

As much as I love “Darmok,” I do take issue with it. Actually, I take a metric assload of issue with it. Let’s assume that at some point the Tamarians didn’t talk like stupid idiots. They HAD to have regular language at some point in order to pass down the stories that allow their metaphors to be relatable. So perhaps they gave up on coherent speech as a people at some point and the Head Tamarian In Charge said, “Guys, here me out. We all know about Darmok, and Temba, and Shaka and what they were all about and what not. How’s about when I finish THIS SENTENCE, we only speak in reference to our shared cultural stories from here on out starrrrrtiiiiiinnnnnng…. NOW?”

I’m sure it worked out great for maybe a day or two, and everyone felt super cool about their complicated new way of not really communicating very well, and how funny it was that they were super frustrating to every other species in the Galaxy, but then… THEN someone needed to find a way to say, “Hey, I think I dropped the remote behind the couch when I was vacuuming. Can you reach back there and check? I would, but you know how my back is.” Then it was just kill or be killed. I wouldn’t be surprised if Captain Dathon and his crew were the last six surviving Tamarians. I wouldn’t be surprised if there were only six of them left and they had JUST started talking this way maybe 6 weeks ago.

Of course it makes a hell of a lot more sense if you consider that maybe they only speak that way in adulthood, or in formal settings, or if they belong to a particular religion are political affiliation, or if they are high born or when they want to infuriate an uncharacteristically dense in this particular episode Starfleet Captain until they are eaten by an invisible monster in order to prove a point.

If you missed the first FANEURYSM comic, it is HERE. If you missed what FANEURYSM is all about, read this excerpt from the previous blog post:

HERE COMES FANEURYSM!
I’ve decided to start making a new, supplemental comic, in the vein of the old LoFi-Jinks comics, which will serve as the comic that “comic Joel” actually makes in the HEniverse. […] I’m starting off with a few comics about Star Trek: TNG to serve as the basis for the conversation in THIS HE comic.

Check out the new comic navigation beneath the comics!

You can now more easily navigate between the different kinds of comics (HE, Faneurysm, HE Classic, LoFi, Guest Comics, Photo Comics and Con Sketches) with the “Prev. Cat” and “Next Cat.” buttons. You can also click the archive button to be taken to a list of categories with descriptions for each.

How Many Lights Do You See?

“Chain Of Command Pt. 2” is such a wonderful hour of television. Patrick Stewart just DESTROYS your preconceived notions about cheesy acting in Star Trek or in science fiction in general. He Shakespeares THE SHIT out of that final torture scene. Picard is a man physically and mentally broken, but his will triumphs in the face of unbearable pain and almost total, partial nudity. Cardassians, man. Fucking Cardassians.

If you missed the first FANEURYSM comic, it is HERE. If you missed what FANEURYSM is all about, read this excerpt from the previous blog post:

HERE COMES FANEURYSM!
I’ve decided to start making a new, supplemental comic, in the vein of the old LoFi-Jinks comics, which will serve as the comic that “comic Joel” actually makes in the HEniverse. […] I’m starting off with a few comics about Star Trek: TNG to serve as the basis for the conversation in THIS HE comic.

Check out the new comic navigation beneath the comics!

PATREON Patrons got to see this comic as soon as it was done, and before it went live on the website. Neat!

Captain’s Prerogative

HERE COMES FANEURYSM!
I’ve decided to start making a new, supplemental comic, in the vein of the old LoFi-Jinks comics, which will serve as the comic that “comic Joel” actually makes in the HEniverse. I just wrote the word “comic” so many times that it lost its meaning. Comic… comic.. yeah, it’s just abstract sounds now. I’m starting off with a few comics about Star Trek: TNG to serve as the basis for the conversation in THIS HE comic.

I love the new story-based comics that I’m making, and the feedback on them has been overwhelmingly positive, but I occasionally miss making pop culture jokes. I’ve decided that “comic Joel” is still making pop culture comics and Faneurysm is his comic’s title. This way I can exorcise my pop culture demons from time to time, and put more things on the site for you to look and laugh at? Makes sense? Cool.

Once I’ve made a few more of these (working on two more right now), I will move them to their own archive outside of the main HE archive. For now, I will probably post them sporadically. Eventually I would like to post them between regular HE comics or on the weekends.

Speaking of Archives, check out the new comic navigation beneath the comics!

PATREON Patrons: Once I get going with the Faneurysm updates, I will probably alter the rewards tier to involve these comics. I will likely swap out video blogs for Faneurysm comics.

The Primest Of Directives

[actually posted on 4/25/14] Still playing catch up and still a week behind on comics. I sketched this comic on a plane and drew it in a Canadian hotel room. Convention permitting, I will be posting some more comics over this weekend. I’ve also got a pretty sweet guest comic lined up for while I’m returning from Calgary Expo on Monday.

CALGARY FANCY BASTARDS!

I will be at Calgary Expo as part of Cyanide & Happiness in booth 622. It’ll be me and Rob Denbleyker doing stick figure dick sketches, and I’ll also have some HE prints and shirts.

RE: This comic
I have made a lot of comics about Star Trek, many of them about TNG. When someone asks me about TNG is like I’m Madonna, it’s 1997 and someone just asked me about Kabbalah. I burst like a dam of interest, enthusiasm and information. Seriously. Try it sometime. Ask me about Data’s journey to become more human. Ask me about Dr. Crusher’s diminished role in Wesley’s life, and how we was a child raised by a bridge crew (AND SCIENCE!). Ask me about how bad Troi was at her job. SPOILERS: She was TERRIBLE at it. Anyway, I freaking love TNG so hard. It’s the one fandom that shaped me the most. I love a lot of made up space stuff, but TNG is the made up space stuff that changed my brain the most. Hell, I dare you to ask me about how much I hate Dr. Pulaski. Go ahead. I DARE YOU.

STORE STUFF!
Some of the shirts in the HE Store on are MAJORLY on sale, because they aren’t going to be printed again. Some are down to the last few sizes. Get ’em while you can! There are also some great PRINTS and POSTERS in the store. Your walls cry out for them.

Apparently they found an extra box of Lil’ Wils hiding in the warehouse, so there’s maybe 50 or 60 of these little dudes left between now and the heat death of The Universe.

COMMENTERS: What made up stuff made the biggest impression on you? Was it made up space stuff? I hope it was made up space stuff.

Merchandising 101

[actually posted on 4/22/14] Still playing catch up and still a week behind on comics. I have a pretty cool idea for how to get caught up this week, that I think many of you are going to enjoy. More on that when it’s actually a thing. I’ve also got a pretty sweet guest comic lined up for while I’m away at Calgary Expo.

CALGARY FANCY BASTARDS!

I will be at Calgary Expo as part of Cyanide & Happiness in booth 622. It’ll be me and Rob Denbleyker doing stick figure dick sketches, and I’ll also have some HE prints and shirts.

RE: This comic
David’s a real person, and one of my best friends. I am also a real person. Comic Joel is a fictionalized version of myself. Comic David is a HYPER-fictionalized version of David IRL. I hate explaining jokes, but I thought it was necessary to explain this distinction to prevent anyone else from thinking I am being rude, or cruel to my actual real life friend.

Speaking of selling things related to comics TO people, AT places, a reader asked me for some business advice and I posted my answers to her questions here on my Tumblr.

STORE UPDATE!
Some of the shirts in the HE Store on are MAJORLY on sale, because they aren’t going to be printed again. Some are down to the last few sizes. Get ’em while you can! There are also some great PRINTS and POSTERS in the store. Your walls cry out for them.

Apparently they found an extra box of Lil’ Wils hiding in the warehouse, so there’s maybe 50 or 60 of these little dudes left between now and the heat death of The Universe.

The first ever HijiNKS HANGOUT was fun! My guests were be David Willis and Angela Melick and you can view the archived stream HERE. If you miss the HE Podcast, the HijiNKS HANGOUT is probably a thing that will make you happy. Tweet your discussion topics, questions and drawing challenges for the next one to #HijiNKSHangout.