I’m The Best There Is At What I Do

And what I do is hosting awards shows.

I didnt’t watched the Oscar’s last night, so I can only assume this is exactly what happened. The whole affair doesn’t hold that much interest for me. The show is typically long and boring and the movies I actually see in a given year either aren’t nominated or don’t win. It seems like a giant Hollywood wank-fest where all the actors pat each others backs (and dicks) raw. I guess I should go find a list of who won and what not. I bet I can find all the interesting parts on the YourTubes.

Did you watch it? Did you favorites win? Any major upsets? Commentward ho!

Also, I’ll be attending the New England Wecomics Weekend. Check out my post and comment if you are going to be there.

UPDATE: I just reread that hastily written post and realized it sounded angry. I’m not angry at the Oscars. I just wasn’t that interested in watching the broadcast.

HERE ARE SOME LINKS TO HAVE!

Empty Vee

Today was very eventful and distracting (thus the crazy late comic), but there are some very good things on the horizon. I will make a proper announcement about one of them on Monday.

Not much to say about this comic. I saw that Mtv had a whole Sunday night line up based on dudes jumping into active volcanos with razor wire tied to their balls. I thought it was worth mentioning if for no other reason than to draw contrast to the Mtv that I grew up with. I used to watch Mtv to… hold on… wait for it… see music videos. Weird I know. I’m not saying they should go back to the way things were. I understand that music videos make more sense for YouTube than THETube nowadays. It’s just startling to see the transformation they’ve undergone in such a short time. I really used to rely on people like Kennedy, Kurt Loder and Matt Pinfield to show me what was going on in the world of music. The internet really made that entire chanel obsolete. I agree they had to evolve or die, but 45 scripted reality shows about sunken-eyed debutards does not entertainment make.

Some day I’ll tell you the story of how VH1 wasn’t always about disease ridden skanks vying for the jock of a washed up 80’s rock star/rapper. It’s true. I swear.

Draggin’ Balls Zzz…

Every single aspect of “Dragonball: Evolution“ is a giant turdtacular crapgasm. The only reason this movie is even on my radar is the fact that Spike James Marsters Spike is playing the boss fight, Lord Piccolo. I’m all for Buffy alums getting work, but seeing him in this (or rather knowing he’s in this while making sure I NEVER actually see it) makes me a little sad.

Despite how low rent the trailers and other advertising make “Dragonball” seem, I bet if they had managed to release this in 2002 it would have done astoundingly well. At that time the Dragonball property was what analysts refer to as a “CASHterfuck.” Meaning that it was a seemingly worthless concept that, against all reason, generated cash that could only be measured with comically large scales.

The DBZ fad is over and kids have moved on to more Pokemons or Narutos or knife fights or whatever kids care about now. I saw a few episodes of “Dragonball Z” when it first started to air in the states. I was mezmerized by the fact that entire episodes would pass while nothing had actually happened on screen. It was a lot like “Heroes” in that respect. More grunting, less Grunberg though. True story: my first flirtation with voice acting was auditioning for “Dragonball Z.” It was dubbed for the US by FUNimation here in Ft. Worth. I read for several parts and at one point I was in the running for some sort of cat or something, but in the end I didn’t make the cut. I knew the cartoon was shit, but I certainly would have liked to add “voice for weird space cat on national cartoon show” to my creative resume.

Do you want to see “DB: Evolution” just to witness the trainwreck? Or do you think it might actually hold some genuine intertainment value? I plan to stear clear, but leave your thoughts in the comments.

The Return of Gaytos

Do a Google Image search for “Kratos“ and see how long it takes for you to see Josh. Not the “comic Josh” but the ACTUAL HUMAN JOSH in full Kratos regalia. Assuming the Google gods are still smiling upon me, he will be in the first 5 results. If, for some tragic reason, he is not, then you can see what I’m talking about HERE.

Had HijiNKS Ensue never been birthed from my geeky brain loins, Josh would still be internet famous for that costume. I remember shortly after he posted the picture it started to show up on gaming forums, photoshopped into various website banners and eventually in a “Zero Punctuation” video. Baffling.

Needless to say, I am MORE enthusiastic about the potential for Josh to ressuect the Gaytos Kratos costume, than I am for the actual release of “God of War 3.” Though you should download the HD trailer. It really was stunning, especially considering everything was rendered in game.

I also look forward to what “God of War” does to Josh. Not only does it alter his physical appearance drastically but it also puts him into a sort of dream state where he can’t tell reality from fiction. Like, he will call you to talk about what he did in “God of War” in the same way someone would share the highlights of their vacation.

And, before you ask: the red body paint IS edible.

Stacking The Odds

As I type this, the series premiere of Joss Whedon’s first foray into TV in 5 years, “Dollhouse,” is only hours away. I approach this show with so much trepidation, that I’m not even sure if I’m enthusiastic any more. Joss and Fox have such a sordid history, that I’ve been second guessing every aspect of “Dollhouse.”

Is Joss going to make the show he wants to, or the one he thinks won’t get cancelled?
Is Fox going to let us see all 13 episodes, get attached and still NOT pick up the second season?
Is it actually going to be good?
Is it actually going to be great?

At least we can beging to answer the last two questions later tonight. The initial reviews were luke warm at best, then the pilot was reshot, and now the reviews are ranging from “TEPID!” to “MASTERPIECE!” TV Worth Watching calls it “…Whedon’s 4th TV Triumph.” Oh course the other 3 triumphs they are referencing were all cancelled too.

Post your hopes, and fears for Dollhouse in the comments, or wait until after the premiere and post your review-ish thoughts. No spoilers in the comments please.

NEW SHIRT! NEW SHIRT! NEW SHIRT! NEW SHIRT! NEW SHIRT!

To commemorate the network that so often crushes our geeky little hearts into geeky heart jelly, I offer the “LOLFOX: WERE IN UR TV CANCELING UR SHOWS” t-shirt.

See? It’s less evil if you pretend a silly kitty is cancelling Arrested Development and Firefly. Silly ol’ kitty.