Voraciously Carnivorous

The next time you’re about to say “dick” or “cock,” try saying “wiener” instead. It’s a funny word. I bet you’ll get a little chuckle and some self satisfaction out of it. If you are having a hard time spelling the word, remember this simple rule: I before E except after C, or when sounding like “wiener” when talking to a hispanic gentleman.

Dallas Animefest is TODAY and all Labor Day Weekend!

Come see me, Shortpacked and Two Lumps (plus a bunch of cat-girls and such). We will be doing a Webcomic’s panel every day.

It’s Fri Sept 3rd – Mon Sept 6th, 2010 at the Hyatt Regency Dallas at Reunion Tower.

I haven’t seen Piranha 3D yet, but the real Josh did explain it as being something akin to staring into the face of God Almighty while an Angel sperms in your eye. James Cameron disagrees. Or perhaps he agrees completely but considers the God-face-Angel-sperm thing as a negative selling point. Either way it seems like the kind of thing you should see in theaters and with friends. I can’t image the fish-fueled-flesh-frenzy has the same impact when you’re at home alone, streaming it from Netflix on your Wii. Those hundreds of gallons of blood will seem like meer pints.

READER CHALLENGE: Any Fancy Bastard that provides video evidence of drinking Vodka (or some other type of booze) through a Twinkie filter (which must be crammed on the neck of the bottle) will get a signed print of this comic and another signed print of any comic of your choosing. Make this happen. Do it for me.
UPDATE: I’m going to limit this to the first 5 FB’s that provide proof. Otherwise it’s going to get expensive for me.

UPDATE 2: SOMEONE ACTUALLY DID IT!!! FB Jason did the Vodkawinkie and posted a video on Youtube. It’s a lot messier than I thought it would be.

UPDATE 3: Looks like Sean, Kristin and JonnyAce did the deed, and so did Paco! That’s all for the prizes but I still encourage you to experiment with this terrible idea. I had a thought, that maybe if you leave the Twinkie in the wrapper and open both ends it would create sort of a Twinkie filter straw situation. Anyone care to try it out?

The Oxford English Urban Dictionary

Dallas Animefest is this Weekend! Come see me, Shortpacked and Two Lumps (plus a bunch of cat-girls and such) all Labor Day Weekend. We will be doing a Webcomic’s panel every day.

It’s Fri Sept 3rd – Mon Sept 6th, 2010 at the Hyatt Regency Dallas at Reunion Tower.

These words, among others, were added to the Oxford English Dictionary, which has abandoned a print edition in favor of an online only format, this year: chillax, bromance, vuvuzela, tweetup, de-friend, frenemy, staycation, steampunk and freemium. That’s right, you are one of the privileged few who were alive to witness the English Language actually BECOME The Internet. Congratulations to us all.

How long will it be until dictionaries are divided by “standard,” “rhyming” and “sexting” editions? I don’t care if the print edition of the OED is dead. As Josh points out in panel one (quoting Sir Egon Spangler), “Print is dead.” It’s more the idea that any dumbass thing we start saying on the interweb (a word that was also added to the OED this year) just magically enters the canon of the English language. Lame, English speaking world. Super lame.

COMMENTERS: Please invent a word or word-mashup and give it’s definition and at least one example of proper usage. The dumbest word will be officially added into my vocabulary.

At Five Mile High Mall

Dallas Animefest is this Weekend! Come see me, Shortpacked and Two Lumps (plus a bunch of cat-girls and such) all Labor Day Weekend. We will be doing a Webcomic’s panel every day.

It’s Fri Sept 3rd – Mon Sept 6th, 2010 at the Hyatt Regency Dallas at Reunion Tower.

Sky Mall is essentially “The Magazine of Requirement” in that nothing in it exists until you are fooled into thinking you need it. I wouldn’t have even been traveling to Baltimore by way of Muggle-plane if the Floo Network hadn’t been down for maintenance. I honestly don’t know how you people put up with it.

Very special thanks to too the FB’s who came out to Baltimore ComicCon. Especially Alex who was my assistant and roommate for the weekend and Adam who gave me a ride to and from the airport. We had another fantastic FB meetup at The Hooter’s in The Inner Harbor. Try as we might to find an alternate location it was as if fate was pulling us towards greasy wings and orange shorts (those being OUR shorts after wiping wing sauce on them). Somehow we forgot to take a group pic this year, so please post links to pics in the comments if you have them.

You guys have no idea how grateful I am to be able to show up in an unfamiliar city and have friendly faces waiting for me there to share laughs and food and to create new, wonderful memories. Thank you all.

Oh… And watch this.

Chief Engineer 57

REVEALED: Star Trek: Next Gen cast almost included Wesley Snipes

THIS WEEKEND IS BALTIMORE COMIC CON!!!

I will be in the Artist Alley at table A164 with Fancy Bastard Alex (Mechamenchi) at my side. Baltimore FB meetup will be Saturday night August 28th around 7:30 or 8pm. We will meet up outside the convention center and go to an eating establishment within walking distance. 4 or 5 of you have already said you’d be coming, but the more the fancier. Please comment below of you think you will be able to make it.

Follow me on TWITTER for updates on the Meetup as we get the plans finalized.

I was thinking about Star Trek: The Next Generation (because I was awake) and I posed this question to my followers on Twitter: “Did every series after TOS strive to fill the same roles as the original with character analogs (Spock-> Data-> Doctor+Tuvok), or did each of the series create characters that fit existing archetypes from modern story telling, tv, movies, etc?”

I got a lot of great responses and I have my own theories, but I’d like to open the question to the greater Fancy Bastards at large. So for your COMMENT CHALLENGE, please feel free to expand on the question above or offer more details about what TNG with Snipes would be like. I know for a fact he would refer to the Jefferies tubes as “Snipes’ Pipes.” Inversely he would call his bong a Jefferies Tube.

Therefart iAm

The only I reason I can think of for Apple looking to Phillip Shoemaker, the creator of such apps as “Animal Farts” and the e-urine v-simulatrum “iWiz“, for a leadership position in the App Store is that Steve Jobs has realized his own mortality (being that Apple could easily bring about The Singularity but has chosen to delay the product cycle to better fit with projected Q3 2012 earnings estimates) and is dead set on driving his company into the iFarting ground on his way out.

Just as Willy Wonka sent out his golden tickets to find a suitable heir to his chocolate empire, Jobs created The App Store with the soul purpose of finding the fart-obsessed piss-app monger who could make sure Apple legacy for quality and style would die with him.

HOLY SHIT THIS WEEKEND IS BALTIMORE COMIC CON!!!

I will be in the Artist Alley at table A164 with Fancy Bastard Alex (Mechamenchi) at my side. Baltimore was the first show I ever exhibited at and my first taste of seeing experiencing the kindness, generosity and sense of community of you, The Fancy Bastards, in person. One of the biggest highlights of the show was the FB meetup. I would really like to do another Baltimore FB meetup Saturday night August 28th around 7:30 or 8pm. Last year we did it at Hooters because they had a nice deck and could accomidate a good-sized group, but I am open to suggestions for a different meeting place. Please comment below of you think you will be able to make it (and understand that I will be heartbroken if this doesn’t happen since I have been looking forward to it all year).