Now You CDC Me, Now You Don’t

The HijiNKS ENSUE Book 2 Presale has started! GO HERE NOW!

TEXAS FANCY BASTARDS: Come to Dragon’s Lair Webcomic Rampage in Austin this weekend and hang out with me, David, Danielle, Randy, Jeph, Bill, and Josh.

Episode 73 of The HijiNKS ENSUE Podcast is up!

MORE THE WALKING DEAD SPOILERS BELOW AND IN THE COMMENTS!!!

Wow. That episode, nay that short season of television was intense. This comic is actually quite a bit tamer that what I suggested to my wife the good doctor might do given his prolonged isolation and his knowledge of having mere seconds to live. NO! Not THAT. I just bet he would kindly excuse himself, walk over to the corner and whip it out. Being igniting the oxygen at 7000 degrees at the moment of climax is really the ultimate form of autoerotic asphyxiation. It’s also tons better than being found in the closet strung up by your belt, because even if you do it wrong there’s no evidence afterwards or mess to clean up. I’m just saying there are worse ways to go. Getting a chunk bitten out of your head comes to mind.

I actually assumed things were going to end much differently in the season 1 finale of AMC’s The Walking Dead. About 10 minutes in I got the feeling that Dr. Jenner, distraught over having lost all of his research, would infect one of the survivors, play it off as an accident, then suggest they study the body to find a cure. I was CERTAIN this was the case when the blond lady started throwing up. I couldn’t have been more wrong, but I still enjoyed it quite a bit. I wish more American TV would adopt this “get in, tell a story, get out” model. Six episodes is a possibly too brief (10 would have been nice), but this type of mentality would force the creators to focus on the meat (no pun) of the story, and prevent things like seasons 4-6 of LOST from happening in the future.

Your thoughts? Commentward HO!

What An As Hole

UPDATE: The Book 2 presale has begun!
This is a comic about multiple disappointments. The first is concerning NASA’s announcement that they ~~found non-carbon-based life on earth~~ found some bacteria that don’t die when you replace their phosphorus with arsenic, or whatever. First contact this is not. The second is related to the all CG costume in the Green Lantern movie and how silly it looks [hint: EXTREMELY SILLY]. When I first saw the trailer on Youtube as a clip from some entertainment news magazine show it was super small, super grainy and the costume looked embarrassing. Then I saw a second clip from the same show, but cleaned up and more clear. It was still small but at that point I thought I might have misjudged the rediculatude of the costume. Then I saw the full HD trailer and realized that it looked just as crazy titty-balls as I had originally thought and the film makers had made a huge mistake. There was a valley in the curve of the quality of the various trailers. We’ll call it “Hope Valley.” Just after hope valley there’s a steep jump off into “Plastic Neon Glowin 8-Pack Nonsense Abs Chasm.” No one survives the fall.

NEWS!!!

~~The HE Podcast site is somewhat broken and I can’t properly post the new episode. In the meantime you can download it directly HERE.~~ UPDATE: It’s fixed and Episode 73 is HERE.

Check out these damn HE Holiday cards in the store! You need to get them now so you can receive them in time to mail them back out before the Squash Lord crawls through your heating ducts and puts meat pies in your shoes!

HE Book 2 goes up for pre-order on Monday 12/6/2010. Without a successful pre-order there will be NO BOOK. This is also your only chance to get an artist edition other than at cons.

Speaking of cons: Austin/San Antonio Fancy Bastards MUST ATTEND the Dragon’s Lair Webcomic Rampage next weekend (12/11 to 12/12/2010)

Here is a video that FB Locke Cole made for school regarding copyright using some clips from an interview that I did.

HijiNKS ENSUE Volume 2: My Heart Is A Hate-Filled Pineapple

UPDATE: The Presale has begun!

I have been drawing this cover for 2 days straight. I haven’t left the house and I have only offered my wife and daughter the occasional “Mungh!” through my closed office door. Thanks to everyone that voted on the book name. I went with the majority, so congrats on picking something super confusing that will continue the tradition of HijiNKS ENSUE book names that cause people to make faces and ask questions.

I will make a formal announcement for the presale on Monday and give links to purchase the various flavors of the book. There will of course be regular editions, artist editions (perhaps your ONLY chance to get a book sketch other than at a convention), and I will again be offering ULTIMATE FANCY EDITIONS. Just like last time, these super special editions will have a limited edition print, some stickers, and some other goodies. The price will also contain a built-in donation for those of you that want to help with the initial printing cost of the books (somewhere between $7000 and $9000). This time there will be ~~200~~ 150 Ultimate Fancies and each UFE purchaser will get their name in the book on the the Fancy Bastard Wall of Fancy Fame. There will also be a few offerings of Ultimate Ridiculous Fancy Editions that will have a few extra goodies but primarily be for those that REALLY want to help with the printing costs.

So now I level with you: I just went back and read my impassioned plea from the first HE Book presale. I mentioned that I was dead broke and the book was either going to be the end of The Experiment or the beginning of the next chapter. Luckily, and thanks 100% to YOU, it was the latter. I’m in a similar situation now where upon YOU get to decide if this book actually gets made or not. If the UFE’s don’t sell out I probably won’t be able to afford the print run at all. If the presale goes poorly there just won’t be a book 2 until a wealthy financier steps in and starts paying me to read to him in my underwear (the boxers stay on, old man!). If you care about HE and it’s continued existence, even if you have already donated, or purchased something from the store, I STRONGLY encourage you to preorder the book as soon as it’s available.

I am doing everything within my power to make the best book I possibly can, and all I ask is that you drop a few bucks on it a couple of months before it exists in the physical realm. So let’s talk about the book. It is going to contain all of the HE comics from 2009 with all new commentary from me on each comic. It has a foreword by Leverage writer Eureka writer/executive producer AMY FREAKIN’ BERG! How’s that for geek-cred? It will again have even more embarrassing, never-before-seen artwork from my middle school and highschool days, and maybe a few surprises (probably not… probably just the stuff I already mentioned).

If the presale goes well the books will be off to the printer in January and will begin shipping in late February. I’m sure there are some of you that will want to give the book as a gift THIS year, so I will make a nice card that you can print out and give to the recipient in the fashion of your choosing.

Please, please, please help me make this a success. Thanks!

~Joel

B.F. B.F.F.’s

Look, we both know I didn’t actually post this on Black Friday. It was more like 20% Grey Sunday. Family turkey times and my lingering illness (how long can a human body actually produce dark green mucus? At least 3 weeks for sure.) kept me from finishing this comic in time for the Darkest Friday Consum-a-bration Festivi-deals.

Each year at this time we observe a moment of silence for those that parished trying to get one of the $49 Blu-Ray players at Wal-Mart. If only they realized sooner that there was an Internet where things can be purchased cheaper at than retail prices every day of the year.

Texas-style (that means large and spicy) Fancy Bastards, make sure you come on down to Dragon’s Lair Webcomic Rampage in Austin, TX Dec. 11-12. It will be fun.

Oh and, Episode 72 of The HijiNKS ENSUE Podcast is up. The Uncut Show and Post Show are in The Vault for subscribers. There’s also a FREE Calvin-TARDIS Wallpaper in The Vault.

I Yam What I Yam, And That’s All What I Yam

Quick, you Fancy Bastards! You have less than 24 hours to hide from your miserable families! NO! Don’t hide there! That’s the first place they’ll look! Make haste! Burry yourself under a mountain and wait out the forced interaction with people you moved extremely far away from as soon as you had the means!

I am officially starting “The War On Thanksgiving.” For starters I’m taking out the “Thanks” because to assume everyone you encounter is of the Thankful persuasion is bigoted and small minded. Feel free to use my newly coined phrase “Xgiving.” You may also wear buttons or ribbons that say “NO THANKS.” If nothing else this will at least confuse your relatives and keep them from talking to you over this long and arduous weekend of feigned interest, false pleasantries and familial responsibility.

NEWS: Holiday Shipping deadlines for the HE Store have been posted. PURCHASE! PURCHASE EVERYTHING NOW AND ALSO FOREVER!

COMMENTERS: Fill in the details of the first Hobo Thanksgravy story or any Thanksgravv tale thereafter. Also, over the holiday weekend you may post your “War on Thanksgiving” thoughts on Twitter with the #xgiving and #nothanks hash tags.