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Wheaton Comic Dare: Check Your Bag Before We Wreck Your Bag

Ewok Stare Shirt

When Southwest called me to tell me they had found my bag I was in the back of Jason Finn‘s car with Wil on the way to meet Stepto and Marian Call. Jason and Wil were talking Mini Coopers and there was talk radio coming over the car speakers, so I pressed my phone against my right ear as hard as I could and plugged the left one with my little finger. I asked the woman on the other end of the line to repeat herself. “Shredded,” she said. “Shredded?” I replied. “Like we were a polar bear and your suitcase was a seal covered in maple syrup,” she responded.

They couriered what was left of my bag to my hotel later that night. From the extent of the damage I was completely unable to come up with a scenario by which this violation could have actually occurred. It hadn’t simply been dropped or snagged. It seemed as though some sort of manimal had clawed into (or out of) my small rolling suitcase in a blind rage. Can a creature truly hate a piece of luggage? I dare say it can. In my search for a reasonable explantation, Wil offered the Sarlacc pit theory and thus a comic was born. Later in the weekend I would prototype this comic in Wil’s copy of HE Book 2.

[Special thanks to Wil for contributing his first line in panel 1, a reference to his character in the Penny Arcade D&D Podcast.]

I toyed with the idea of continuing the Emerald City Comicon Sketch comics [Part 1 and Part 2] another day, but decided instead just to show you the rest of the sketches I wanted to share in this blog post. I will call this series “Sketches For Celebrities: Both Internet And Otherwise.”

Commenters: Feel free to offer up more examples of how and why specific airlines lose your luggage. Does JFK have to pay off the mob in “misplaced” golf clubs? Does Newark purposefully chuck your bags in the river to remind you not to go to New Jersey? How about some new slogans for Southwest? I like “Southwest: Hey whattayou Expect?” “Southwest: No Guarantees,” “Southwest: Come Fly The Functional Skies,” and “Southwest: This Whole Thing Is A Scam To Move Pretzels and Diet Coke.”

Emerald City Comicon Fancy Sketches Part 2

The only geek greeting you’ll ever need! The Sci-Five!
Get up on that Sci-Five shirt business!

Sci-Five Shirt from HijiNKS ENSUE At Topatoco

Emerald City Comicon is THE BEST show of the year. Part 2 of my blow-by-blow wrap up is below [Part 1 is HERE]. Lots of the links go to pictures from my various con adventures so click like your potential enjoyment of my pictures depended on it!

Saturday:

Sunday

  • The show was a little slow which was fine, because I was A LOT slow. After 3 action-packed days and little to no sleep I was running on fumes.
  • The highlight of the last day of the show came in the form of a couple of brothers who did not realize they were cosplaying one of my comics/prints.
  • After teardown I had sushi with Gordon, Dave and a few of Dave’s local Seattle friends.
  • A homeless guy kept bothering us in the street and I told him to leave us alone. I felt like a dick afterwards. Then I felt stupid for feeling like a dick. A group of people should be able to walk a city street and have a conversation without feeling obligated to quietly put up with being assaulted by vagrants. I know it’s not a black and white issue, but if he wasn’t homeless his actions would just be seen as unacceptable and rude. I do not abide rudeness, regardless of the source. [steps off soapbox]
  • We finished the evening at the hotel bar where David regaled us with tales of the various conflicting expanded universe origins of the Transformers. I just kept asking questions and his eyes just got bigger and bigger and his enthusiastic smile grew wider and wider. I think he almost cried.

Monday I was traveling the entire day. I don’t really understand how you can get on a plane in the morning for a 4 hour flight, yet not arrive at your destination until late that evening. Times zones? More like time vortexes. Even MORE like time bullshit.

Regardless of my disdain for EVERY SINGLE ASPECT of air travel (did I mention they “shredded my suitcase?) I really did leave Seattle a changed man. It was just an incredible and eye opening weekend. Instead of trying to shoehorn myself into situations or groups of “cool kids” where I am less than welcomed (which is what it feels like I was doing for all of 2010… huge mistake), I surrounded myself with people I admire (and who seem to genuinely enjoy my company) and wonderful, fantastic things just kept happening over and over. This was a really big deal for me. It took me more than a year and over a dozen cons to realize that I should stop trying so hard to be friends with everyone and work on just being myself and letting others decide of they are interested in what I have to offer. You can’t force a friendship, no matter how bad you want it.

I am also proud of myself for not being quite so up tight and allowing myself to have more fun that I usually do. These are my lessons for 2011: Worry, fret, and anxiety are useless. If you can’t control/affect it, then be at peace with it. Everyone isn’t going to like you. Be kind, make an effort then move on. Find your friends, and you will find your home. Thank you, Seattle. I left my extra iPhone battery pack somewhere in you. Consider it a gift.

Emerald City Comicon Fancy Sketches Part 1

The only geek greeting you’ll ever need! The Sci-Five!
Get up on that Sci-Five shirt business!

Sci-Five Shirt from HijiNKS ENSUE At Topatoco

I must have said this 100 times over the course of the last weekend but Emerald City Comicon is THE BEST show of the year. In terms of what? Sales, fan interaction, after hours activities, location/host city, general shenanigans? Yes. The answer is yes. I have never had a weekend so packed with wonderful friends, amazing experiences, and so much excitement in my entire life. Here are some of the highlights in mostly chronological order:

Thursday:

  • Southwest lost one of my bags, which delayed me just long enough to run into Wheaton on the way out the airport. We had sushi for lunch. Sushi With Wheaton is my Reel Big Fish cover band [thanks twitter].
  • That night Wheaton and I met Stepto, Jason Finn [of PUSA], Marian Call and John Roderick for drinks and Wheaton bought me a beer. Even if you don’t drink a lot of beer, when Wil Wheaton buys you one you drink it.
  • Jason Finn took Stepto, Wheaton and I to his AMAZETITS italian restaurant, Via Tribunali, for [no exageration] the best pizza I have ever had in my life.
  • Stepto and I went to the Marian Call show at Fremont Abbey. She was dope. Dope and a half in fact.
  • Southwest called to say they found my bag. It had been lost in Albuquerque. The lady told me the condition they found the bag in, and I asked her to repeat herself. “Yes… shredded.” Good. I just wanted to make sure I hadn’t suddenly gone deaf with rage.

Friday:

  • Day 1 of the show. Angela and I set up an epic booth-situation. She has the same “merchandising” gene that I do, which makes us great booth mates. If you got a pic of our booth, please email it to me.
  • Angela and I had a lovely sit-down family-times Tai food dinner with Bill Barnes at his home. We chatted, played ukuleles and had a wonderful time. Bill’s dog loves me the most.
  • Me, Angela and a dozen other cartoonists did some bar hopping. Someone who shall remain nameless used the pick-up line, “So what is your favorite kind of time travel?” and it worked. This is how you know you are surrounded by nerds. I was beyond impressed.

And that isn’t even the end! Read the 2nd half of my ECCC recap in the next Fancy Sketch comic post.

The Cuptertino Diet

MEEEEDLY MEEEEEDLY SQUEEEEEEEEE!!!!!
ALL NEW REDESIGNED “AND MY AXE” SHIRTS ARE IN THE STORE!

And My Axe - Gimli shirt by HijiNKS ENSUE at Topatoco

NEW HE Podcast Episode 80: Medium Seabiscuit [or is it Sexbiscuit?]

HijiNKS ENSUE at Emerald City Comicon

OMG EMERALD CITY COMICON IS RIGHT NOW [starting Friday]!!! Come see me and Angela at booth 307.

CONVENTION UPDATE: I will be at The Toronto Comics And Arts Festival May 7-8 after all, and I will also be at Connecticon July 9-11.

BOOK UPDATE: The giant, frost bitten pallet of HE Book 2‘s arrived at my house on Wednesday. I’ll start shipping books when I get back from ECCC. Non-artist edition books will ship first, followed by non-artist UFE’s (still waiting on some of the goodies like stickers and buttons to arrive), followed by all artist editions. I have at least 200 books to sketch, so please be forgiving when it comes to delivery times.

Ok, don’t look at me like that. Josh came up with this and I just wanted to make sure you all knew what a monster he was. Now that you know… what he is… just don’t look him directly in the eyes if you ever meet him. Because I assure you, the thing looking back will chill you to the core. It’s like staring into the soulless eyes of a shark with cataracts. Or maybe a raccoon. Either way it’s some sobering shit. The temperature in the room will drop 10 degrees, then it will rise because you just peed yourself. He’s a monster. A monster.

COMMENTERS: So hows about that spanky new iPad 2, eh? That mobile Garageband is giving me dangerous thoughts. One might even say IDEAS. Ooooohhhhh…. ideeeeeaaaaaasssss….

Guest Comic By Brian Patterson of D20 Monkey

AND MY AXE!
MEEEEDLY MEEEEEDLY SQUEEEEEEEEE!!!!!
ALL NEW REDESIGNED “AND MY AXE” SHIRTS ARE IN THE STORE!

And My Axe - Gimli shirt by HijiNKS ENSUE at Topatoco

NEW HE Podcast Episode 80: Medium Seabiscuit [or is it Sexbiscuit?]

HijiNKS ENSUE at Emerald City Comicon

OMG EMERALD CITY COMICON IS THIS WEEKEND!!! It is by far my favorite show of the year. Come see me and Angela at booth 307. Here’s a MAP to all the other webcomics I know that will be there. I will be at the Marian Call show in Seattle Thursday night. If any Fancy Bastards are in the audience, feel free to comic up and say hi.

CONVENTION UPDATE: I announced on Twitter today that I wouldn’t be attending the Toronto Comics and Arts Festival [TCAF] due to astronomical airfares. Lots of you suggested I flying into Buffalo, NY and drive from there. This might be a viable possibility, so I’m not counting Toronto out 100% yet. I will make an update via Twitter when my plans are finalized.

BOOK UPDATE: The giant, frost bitten pallet of HE Book 2’s should arrive at my house from Canada today. I’ll be on a plane to Seattle the next morning and start shipping books when I get back. Non-artist edition books will ship first, followed by non-artist UFE’s (still waiting on some of the goodies like stickers and buttons to arrive), followed by all artist editions. I have at least 200 books to sketch, so please be forgiving when it comes to delivery times.

HOW ABOUT THIS FANCY GUEST COMIC, HUH? Very special thanks to Brian Patterson of D20 Monkey for this hilarious guest comic. Though the three of us have never played D&D together in real life, I assume it would go very much like this.

COMMENTERS: What else goes on in the mundane lives of Orcs and other dungeon dwellers BEFORE you party happens upon them?