The iLluminati

THE HIJINKS ENSUE STORE IS A PLACE WHERE YOU CAN BUY STUFF!!!

OMG you guys, Apple totally wants to go steady with Tim Cook! Brenda told Gina and Gina told Stephanie H. that after study hall, Apple is going to give Tim Cook a million shares of their company valued at nearly 400 million dollars that will be fully vested over the next 10 years! OMG OMG OMG! Couldn’t you just die!? They are going to be SO. FREAKING. CUTE together. Totes.

I know Tim Cook’s sexuality doesn’t really pertain to his new job as AppleLord [All hail AppleLord may his blessings be upon you], but I do think a gay man being in charge of one of the largest tech companies in the world is a good step towards universal acceptance of homosexuals. I don’t expect him to crusade for gay rights or anything. It’s better for humanity as a whole if he just does a great job as a gay man in a high profile position. As dumb as this may sound, if some guy with lingering homophobia has the realization that, “I love Apple. Tim Cook runs Apple. Tim Cook is gay. So… gays aren’t evil?” the world becomes a slightly less hateful place.

All of that tolerance aside, the secret gay cabal that runs the media is coming for us, and they won’t stop until we are enslaved under their fashionable iron boot and they rule the over-side. Be afraid. Be super crazy fancy afraid.

iWish iKnew How To Force Quit You

THE HIJINKS ENSUE STORE IS A PLACE WHERE YOU CAN BUY STUFF!!!

Time to retire his black turtleneck into the rafters.

I honestly feel that Steve Jobs, and his singular vision for his company, have done more to increase the acceptance of technology by the general public and the integration of that technology into our daily lives that any other single person in the last 50 years. Like his products or hate them [for whatever arbitrary reason] they have consistently strived to make high end, seemingly “magic” devices accessible to technophiles and n00bs alike. Your mom has an iPad. A device that wasn’t even on the horizon 5 years ago. Steve helped bring us [that] much closer to the future, and for that I will always be grateful to him. Not to Apple, but to him directly. Ever since he returned to Apple in the 90’s, Steve’s drive, commitment, integrity and borderline certifiable insanity have directly influenced how we interact with technology. He’s a total nutter, but great men often are. I think you’d be hard pressed to find any one person that REALLY changed the world (for better or worse) that wasn’t at least a little unhinged. Here’s hoping he’s in better health than I expect he is, and that his input will continue to lead to wonderful shiny gadgets for years to come.

I hesitate to speculate on the future of Apple as a whole. Can they stay on the path Steve set them on, or will they falter under new leadership? My friend Bill Barnes of Unshelved and Not Invented Here wrote some nice words about Steve, and my friend Adam Koford drew this subtly touching and ironic (using the literall meaning of the word) cartoon.

COMMENTERS: Is Apple still Apple without Steve? Should it be? Other thoughts on Steve Job’s departure from Apple? [Please no Apple haters or pointless negativity]

One Louder

THE HIJINKS ENSUE STORE IS A PLACE WHERE YOU CAN BUY STUFF!!!

Where can you go from there? Where? No where? Exactly.

Hooray for making comics with multiple obscure seemingly unrelated references that exactly not quite 5% of you will get [Kermit Arms]!!! This one has been in my idea file for a while and getting it out of my system will allow me to move on a healthier, more reader-accessible direction. I appreciate you bearing with me during this difficult time(y wimey).

If you are going to be at PAX this week, please go see my buddy Wil and get a signed poster based on our Three Wheaton Moon shirt. He will, at some point, be wearing the shirt and you will have a fleeting opportunity to bask in its majesty.

COMMENTERS: Are you as excited-pants as I am for the return of Doctor Who? [SPOILERS] You are not. [/SPOILERS]

Baltimore Comic-Con 2011 Fancy Sketches

Wil Wheaton and I got excited and made this Three Wheaton Moon shirt. You can buy it! Then you can wear it! Only two steps to total geeky happiness? Sign me up!

Baltimore comic-con was a blast, and not the kind where I get shot in the chest and die in my partner’s arms forcing him to avenge me and clean up the mean streets at the same time. Honestly, I had intended to this to be my last year due to slumping sales from 2009 to 2010 but the Fancy Bastards came out in force and made it one of my best cons of the year. Thanks! Special ultimate thanks go to FB’s Adam and Casey for hosting me all weekend, driving me around, and throwing me a wonderful party/FB Meetup and to FB Alex for being my booth babe at the convention. Additional thanks to all of the FB’s who came the meetup. We had burgers, hotdogs, drinks, shitty movies and good times in excess of the legal limit as stipulated by Maryland municipal code. See you next year for BatliMORE! [get it?] #imsorry #dontshootme #iknowyouhaveguns

HEY LOOK!: You asked for it, so I added a “Winter Is Coming” desktop to The Vault. I’ve also added “Chibi Wolverine” and “Three Wheaton Moon” desktops as well. Just make a donation of any amount, or sign up for a recurring donation subscription and you’ll get access. I’ve also added mobile versions of these desktops HERE.

More Aardman Than Aardman

Wil Wheaton and I got excited and made this Three Wheaton Moon shirt. You can buy it! Then you can wear it! Only two steps to total geeky happiness? Sign me up!

I made this comic on paper! With pens! Sitting on Fancy Bastard Adam M’s parents’ couch! Did you know you could make comics without computers? I didn’t. And I still don’t! Did you know Adam’s dad’s dog farted on me? It was horrendous! Come to Baltimore Comic-Con! I will tell you all about the dog farts in person! Also the art for this comic will be for sale a the show. DOG FARTS!

Baltimore Comic-Con is this weekend! I will be in the Artist Alley right next to Dannielle Corsetto at Table #A187 or so. I will have books 1 and 2, “The Doctor Is In” shirts, “Team Edward [James Olmos]” shirts and “Ewok Stare” shirts, plus prints, stickers and Fancy Sketches.

We have had a really fantastic Fancy Bastard meetup each year. Details HERE on G+ (look for the link to the updated post with more details in the comments thread) or talk to FB Adam (who is organizing it) directly on G+ or Twitter. Hope to see you at the show and the meetup!

Commenters: Do you want more Blade Runner? Of the options offered in the comic, which do you think would work the best without screwing up the legacy of the original? Personally a “Rise of the Replicants” type movie wouldn’t offend me that much. I don’t mean “they rise and kill us all,” but rather the offworld rebellion situations. Could be fun.