Myth Busted

The Djin spends the first 30 minutes begging Perseus to wish for all the sand to be replaced with cocaine then another 45 minutes riffing non sequiturs and doing a bad Arnold Schwarzenegger impression.
I didn’t see Clash Of The Titans, nor to I plan to. The onslaught of overwhelmingly negative comments on twitter (from people and trusted and from strangers) was enough to make me save my rare trip to the moving picture theatre for Kick Ass. Feel free to share your impressions of the movie in the comments, and I will share the tweets what were share with me by you Fancy Bastards. SHARING! [share]
  • @Kwago Clash of Titans was like a big budget episode of Xena. But worse, because it didn’t have Xena. Aiaiaiaiaiai!!
  • @dopefish3d Clash of the Titans. Blech. If you must, do NOT go 3D. It was wretchedly done.
  • @robotboots More like Clash of the Suck Balls

JaviFuentes booooooooring. 3D was even worse. If you’ve seen a cheap “epic” movie you’ve seen this.

probabil disjointed scripting, paper thin characters, and total ignorance of greek mythology. It was very like watching a bad saturday morning cartoon. The Kraken had has much emotional depth as Perseus

angiebatgirl Only thing I didn’t like was that they got the myths wrong. Other than that, pure popcorn

dopefish3d poorly lit and poorly filmed, made a lot of it just look cheap and poorly thought out. Atrocious editing in the first 20 mins makes it very hard to get into or feel attached to anyone. Plus they actually make fun of the owl from the original 🙁 Perseus finds the owl in the barracks before leaving on his quest. “What is this” “Leave that piece of crap behind” *tosses*

angiebatgirl Perseus’ birth, Io helped Prometheus, not Perseus, Casseopia’s insult and it was Posiedon that released the sea monster. And Perseus married Andromeda

liamdunne It butchered the classics horribly. Pegasus was ridden by Bellerophon, not Perseus. Medusa had two sisters. & a Djinn, WTF?

probabil one last thought..Bobo would have been a less annoying side kick that the jinn that they added.. made of wood and black magic

FX114 Stupid plot, dumbed down story, some lame action, unexplained occurences, bad jokes, general hollywoodizing of amazing story.

trulyepic The reviews I saw said the 3D was a joke.

NadieSabeDFW 3D was terrible. 2D will be a fun watch. Some good action. Kraken release/city attack was a let down. Calibos very different.

stellasinistra I felt like SFX overshadowed everything, Perseus was a crappy hero, EVERY Argonian soldier dies leaving him alone to fight the Kraken. The story line jumps from one activity to another, poor plot strength/continuity

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  1. Sigh..$11.50?!? It was “okay” but not $11.50 okay, nor $8.50 okay. Matinee, spare the goggles. Kickass, definitely.

  2. I was high out of my mind and Clash of the Titans was still neither impressive nor funny. That is an accomplishment.

  3. Yes the myth was all messed up. But Pegasus IS in the Perseus myth. In the original story Medusa was pregnant with Pegasus when Perseus cut off her head. Pegasus was either came out of her severed head or born from the blood that came from the head.

    As for the robot owl. He IS in the new movie in a rather hilarious cameo.

    At least Perseus conception is more “realistic” in both films. In the original myth Perseus was concieved in a golden shower….eww….

  4. Said it on twitter Saturday night, will say it again. The movie is dumb. Not like big action movie dumb either – relentlessly stupid, filled with stupid people doing stupid things for stupid reasons, if they had a reason for their stupid activities at all.

    The Djinni character was lame. The two 'wacky' hunters were a device that was lame. And good lord can whatsis name from Avatar not act. Holy crap.

    The CGI looked good (saw it in glorious 2d) and it was entertaining enough but holy shit was this a dumb, dumb dumb movie.

    I am stupider…more dumber….stupid… DAMN YOU CLASH OF THE TITANS.

  5. I thought in the original Harryhausen version, Zeus did in fact mention that he visited Perseus’ mother as a shower of gold. I thought he mentioned that when the gods were chatting before he ordered the Kraken’s release, unless I’m mixing the original myth and the movie.

    • Saw Kick Ass yesterday, couldn't believe how empty the cinema was. What an excellent film. Now particularly happy we chose that over CotT, especially as I'm not a huge fan of sandal fantasy at the best of times.

      They were showing the trailer for Hot Tub Time Machine (not out in the UK yet I don't think) and it looked like a fun way to waste an hour and a half, might give it a look.

  6. What I posted Sunday on a knitting forum:

    I’m going to be the party pooper that completely poops all over the parade. The only thing that made the almost two hours worth it was watching it with a Classic and Mediterranean Studies graduate who was about to implode at the bastardization of mythology.

    For a plebe like me, it was just completely lacking any plot, dialogue or pace. There were a couple of good choreographies and many cute guys with long hair and short skirts, but they deadened them :/
    Also, the gods are dedicated to sparklevision.

    ETA: Percy Jackson and the Lightning Thief did a much better job at keeping somewhat to the myths and was very entertaining, but Tik Tok will stick in your head for a week.

    • For what it's worth, The Lightning Thief was a HORRENDOUS adaptation of a very enjoyable book. To think that it did a better job of keeping to the myths than Clash did, just proves to me how glad I am I didn't waste my money on Clash… even though, leading up to this weekend, I had REALLY been looking forward to seeing it!

  7. I saw the midnight release with a friend of mine after reading a few reviews (I never saw the original) and it bored me to fucking tears. My friend's idiot boyfriend, the kind of guy that loves Michael Bay and all he shits forth, wanted to leave. I did NOT see the 3D because I understood that wasn't how it was shot, and am glad I did not have to add a headache to my many complaints about that night. There was absolutely nothing redeeming about that film, and my boner for Gui-Gon is gui-gone forever. Probably.

    Go see How To Train Your Dragon (in 2D), go see it twice like I did, then see it a third time like I will. It is breathtaking, heartbreaking, and cat-having. It made me want to be twelve again just so I could appreciate it all the more, but there is plenty there for someone of any age. I'm thinking of bringing my mom to it for her birthday.

  8. "Clash of the Titans Redux: The Reclashenening" That's how I'm going to refer to this movie until the end of time.

    I didn't even spot the extra "en" in "Reclashenening" until I went to type that. That's ADDED ENTERTAINMENT VALUE right there, Joel. Always providing more bang for our webcomic buck.

    but anyways. thanks for the warning. i had heard it was crap but now i truely know it for what it is… thanks joel!

  10. The sequel is out as I write this. They seem to have made a point of including a "titan." They included a cyclops who is nowhere close to Harryhausen's in coolness. They also have conjoined twin monster swordsmen. Feh.

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