Weekend Recap

Friday night saw my first front page Digg for a comic (the previous one was for the Guitar Hero III video). Special thanks to EvanStapler for submitting the story, and to everyone that Dugg it. As can be expected the traffic crashed my server and asploded my site. I was on the phone for 3 hours with my host trying to get it back up. I finally had to move to a more robust box (more robust = more $$$). Digg comments are a hard thing to read when they are concerning your own work. They range from innocuous to outright hateful. This was the best one:


I don’t have words for that. It’s poetry.

We were (this) close to seeing Cloverfield but got to the theater and saw this:


So we saw Sweeney Todd instead. My wife gets seasick easily and I have an inner ear/vertigo condition so I figured it best to see C-Field at home where I can sit in front of a puke bucket. Sweeney Todd was fantastic. Beautifully shot and excellently performed. The score was formidable to say the least. I enjoyed the movie even more when, in the first 15 minutes, two different sets of teenagers got up and left. “What’s all this gay singing and shit? Let’s get out of here and go have unprotected sex.”

Tom Cruise’s particular brand of crazy has been all over the net this week. In light of his galactic revelations I wanted to share this happy little accident I saw in Barnes and Noble a few weeks back:


Diggers love monster-on-landmark sex


Click and Digg to help spread the message… of… whatever I’m doing here. There’s a message?

Apparently Josh liked the movie:

Date: Fri, 18 Jan 2008 01:52:19 -0600 [12:52:19 AM MST]
From: Josh
To: Joel Watson
Subject: OMG OMG OMG




The Cloverfield Monster is Sexually Agressive


Wait, that generally goes before the spoilers in question, doesn’t it? Oh well. I’ve ruined the most hyped movie ever for each of you. At least when you get to the theater you can watch all the unlucky numbskulls that have no idea what’s going to happen and gloat. Then, right about minute 31:24, you can stand up and yell, “I HOPE HE DOESN’T FUCK THE STATUE OF LIBERTY’S HEAD OFF! THAT WOULD BE TERRIBLE FOR OUR NATION!” Then it happens and you look like some kind of Nostradamus clairvoyant badass. Then the whole theater raises you aloft on their shoulders and sings songs of your praises and roasts pigs and pheasants in your honor.

J.J. Abrams has a stiffness in his pants for viral marketing. The Lost Experience was fun for about 30 seconds then it got to be like a second job with no pay and shitty hours. You’d be canceling plans with real people so you could decipher patterns in jpg artifacts, or decode numerological meanings behind secret whispered message played in reverse. It ended up being much easier to wait for the super internet squad to do all the work and post their findings on YouTube. In the end “the experience” gave away basically all the secrets of the island, the numbers, the universe and everything. The weird part is no one seems to remember any of the details since NONE of this information has ever been discussed in the show.

In like fashion, the viral marketing for Cloverfield has been permeating the very fiber of the intertron for the last 8 months or so. Hell, I was making fun of it back in August when we thought it was going to be a Cthulu movie (which would have been rad X infinity). It’s gone by the code names Slusho, 1-18-08 and Project Cloverfield (which was actually a mistake to begin with). I’m getting tired of this calculated and formulaic peaking of my geek interest through shakey-cam viral videos, and dummy websites.

I was seriously expecting to go to this movie, sit through the trailors, then get 30 minutes of black screen after which J.J. Abrams comes out and says, “Psyche” or possibly the more elegant, “Pwn3d.” Then maybe a banner than says “Star Trek: Christmas 2008.” Best. Viral. Ad. Ever.

Here’s some Cloverfield links to chew on while you wait to see the movie (some spoilers):

Project Cloverfield: Top Secret Bath Gel?

J.J. Abrams has been quite geek-prolific these last few years. I can almost forgive him for Felicity. I remember when I told Josh “Cloverfield” might be a Cthulhu movie. He shit out his soul right then and there. He has a plush version of the “Great Old One” on his desk.

Zachary Quinto being cast as Spock is an interesting and appropriate choice. Just look at the logic in those eyebrows!

In what may be his worst lapse in judgement (or anyone else’s for that matter), internets have it that J.J. wants to put Tom “Fear me for I am Galactic Space Lord Xenu!” Cruise in the new Trek as Captain Christopher Pike. People keep trying to find new and exhilarating ways to make me hate Star Trek. I hope they hobble that alien worshiping shit bag with a tire iron and stuff him in that beeping iron lung/washing machine from The Cage.

For what it’s worth, I think Wesley would turn out to be a Sith. He’s got daddy issues. If any Hollywood-types are interested, I am willing to sell the rights to “Geek-Splosion” and the geek-quel, “Geek-splosion II: Xena and the Highlander Race Light Cycles with Tron and the Goonies, and at least one of the Corey’s…..Seaquest, War Games, Last Starfighter.” Let me rifle through a box of old VHS in the garage and we can work out a deal for episodes 3 through 6 too.

Bastian, say my name! Yeahhh. Say it, bitch. Momma like. Who’s your empress?”