The Casualties of Rebrandingon August 25, 2009
“Will I be making Micro RC Cars? I have arthritis and the little tools are hard to hold.”
“Let me put it this way, Gramps. Do the horses “make the glue” at the glue factory?”
NOTE: There will only be 2 comics this week due to my daughter coming down with strep throat, and me having to completely remake the covers for the book because of a stupid miscalculation on my part.
RadioShack changing their name to “The Shack” makes me think of a guy that buffed up over the summer, got a new haircut and asked all his friends to start calling him “Dutch” or “The Wedge” of “Big Geef” or something.
I wonder if they are putting 5000 “Radio” signs on Craigslist. Those would be a good collectors item, or a great gift for fans of that movie where Cuba Gooding Jr. was the black Forrest Gump.
If you find this comic confusing, then perhaps you didn’t spend much or your teenage years trying to build your own distortion pedals and a/v switch boxes. All you need to know is that every RadioShack had 3 types of employees:
The RadioGrandpa (illustrated above) remembers what it was like when everything ran on vacuum tubes and God’s will,
The EE Major just needs the job until he graduates. He brought his own multi-tool (it’s in the holster on his braided belt) and he knows how stupid your question is going to be before you ask it and finally
The Battery Douche. This motherfucker doesn’t know his ass from an ethernet cable, but he knows where the batteries are. THEY’RE EVERYWHERE! Once the rebranding is complete, he will likely be the only one of the triumvirate to survive. The other two will be replaced with corporate cell phone rate plan jockeys and cute girls.
None of this matters since no one in their right mind still shops at RadioTheShack. Every single item they sell from adapters to TV’s can be purchased for roughly 20-90% less online. You really only go there for an adapter or cable emergency anyway. Might I suggest you check out MonoPrice? Just to give you an example: 1 6ft 1/8th inch headphone extension cable is $6 at The Shack. At mono price I got 12 for $4 with shipping and they arrived in 2 days. I also got a 50ft HDMI cable for $25, and as we all know HDMI cables are spun from Faberge Eggs and baby panda intestines (why else would Best Buy charge $14 a foot for them?). I say let The Shack burn, get your adapters online and happy nerding.