Part 3 of 3.
INSIDE JOKES THAT YOU DON’T GET! It is during the times when you’ve been awake for 68 of the last 72 hours that you must cling to things like “Glove Hats” to keep a tenuous grasp on your sanity… on your humanity. This is when all that stands between you and sleep deprivation induced madness is the constant reminder that you share a pointless joke with other people. That there even ARE other people. That you aren’t completely alone in the universe with nothing to keep you company but your dwindling cognitive state. “Glove Hats” was the only thing grounding me to reality despite 4 sleepless nights, 4 days of constantly being “on,” dehydration, exhaustion and at least 4 other -tions that you really don’t want piled all on top of each other at the same time. Thank you, “Glove Hats.” You saved me.
“George Hurt You” shirts are in the store!!!
This comic stars Jennie, Kris, Rob, Matt and Dave of Cyanide and Happiness as well as Becky and Frank of Tiny Kitten Teeth. On the last day of NYCC I went around to everyone’s table and said, “Guys! I have the best idea! We’re going to get some beers, order some pizzas, stay in and go absolutely NOWHERE and do absolutely NOTHING tonight!” Upon hearing this revelation, most smiled as if I have just given them irrefutable proof that there was indeed a God and he loved them very much. Like a soothing calm washed over them and took away their fears. Some openly wept, overwhelmed with the knowing that there was a world where people could sit and talk and have fun without crawling from bar to bar, subway to cab, and without trudging mile after mile of a city that seemed to oppose their very existence. It was a fantastic end to a wonderful weekend.
Thanks to FB Kyle Corwin for the photo used in panel 1.
COMMENTERS: Have you ever shared an inside joke that you repeated so much that the words themselves started to lose all meaning? Something where you can utter two words to the right person and they involuntarily snort or choke to death on their beverage? Really? You murdered someone with humor? You monster. Feel free to confess your crimes in the comments.
Nickel.
This is, in fact, a reference to "If I had a nickel…"–except you said "Nickel!" when something sounded naughty. It got WAY overdone.
<adenoidal>Mouseover text: whose -> who's (who is).</adenoidal>
Hot Pockets!
Tangenital, as opposed to tangential
Or ab-luh-tive instead of ab-lay-tive
For a very long time, I always read "tangential" in a dyslexic manner and thought "tangenital" was the correct word. Luckily, I did not find out my mistake in front of a crowd of people or anything.
Tangenital is what you get when you forget to bring underwear in the tanning salon.
Blunt instruments
I think it started as a joke about Hanson
"Shoes"… as in "a nice pair of…" whenever a Pectorially Gifted Female would walk into the bar.
Completely the same show, but the Doctor as a little girl. i would watch the HELL out of that.
"Must. Resist. Urge. To be. Horrible. Person. Hold. Back. Bile." Derp.
Winning!
Panel two may be the cutest thing I have ever seen.
I instantly love this awesome child as if she were my own,
For a few years, when someone said "what's up?" I would reply "anything away from the gravitational center of a mass larger than all other surrounding masses." Then I lost all my friends. All of them.
I'll be your friend, Uschi. 'Cause that's freakin' funny.
(I am such a dork.)
One Christmas, my family did a gift exchange called "Cutthroat" where you can choose to unwrap a present from the pile or you can steal someone else's present for yourself. After getting my present stolen, I said "This is worse than getting shanked in prison!" The family quickly took this up and referred to all present stealing as "shanking". It quickly devolved into 30 people in a circle chanting "Shank! Shank! Shank!" None of us can hear the word "shank" without thinking of that magical Christmas morn, which makes watching any movie set in prison an awkward endeavor.
What is 12" long and keeps the ladies screaming all night? Cribdeath!
After a friend told this joke a few times, I just was trained to giggle at the word Cribdeath. Then one day I'm at the house of a new set of friends with a newborn. There were seven or so of us, those married started talking about kids and worrying about them, and then someone said Cribdeath. I chuckled, and everybody just glared at me! It was quite an uncomfortable situation where I had to explain myself and that I am not, in fact, a completely horrible person. Most of the time.
Also, cancer.
"Reaction shot of the monkey!"
On New Year's Eve, we were talking about deleted scenes in movies and how you can occasionally see remnants of them in the finished film. We mentioned the lost Jitterbug sequence from "The Wizard of Oz," which the Wicked Witch still makes a vague reference to. I wondered why they couldn't just cut the leftover line by cutting away to a reaction shot of the flying monkey or something.
My fiance and I have too many to count. We both hate pet names and don't use them, but in their stead we have our own vast, bizarre cadre of personal memes. For instance, several years ago I had a dream which I then relayed to my fiance:
Me: "I had this dream that Winston Churchill was dead!!"
Him: "But…Winstron Churchill IS dead…"
Me: "No, I mean he had JUST died and I was in the room and no one else knew yet and this hamster told me I had to tell everyone and I didn't WANT to be the one to have to–"
Him: "This HAMSTER told you?"
Me: "Look, it was a *dream*, okay? I didn't question it at the time!"
Him: "So this hamster in a little top hat and monocle just says to you," (posh British accent) "My God, Alex! The prime minister is DEAD! As a God-fearing daughter of England, it is your duty to–"
Me: (laughing so hard I can barely speak) "No, he was just a hamster, he wasn't wearing anything…"
(Several minutes pass)
Him: (still with the accent) "My God, Alex…"
Now, any time anyone says "My God" in a British accent, or mentions Winston Churchill or hamsters or a dead prime minister, both of us are doomed to uncontrollable laughter.
That… is just awesome.
That sounds like a perfectly normal dream, but your fiance made it hilarious. xD
Isn't Cribdeath the monster from the Odyssey that coincided with Scylla?
Seven or eight years ago, my friends & I went to a late night revival screening of "Ghostbusters." At one point, we started pointing out all of the products that dated the film, like, "Oh look! Tab! Tab was big in the '80s." This eventually spilled over into other things that weren't products or weren't actually '80s specific. The line from that night that still endures to this day is…..
"Oh look! Black people! Black people were big in the '80s."
Apple juice.
Me and a bunch of my nerdlinger friends all pitched in money together to get a hotel room for a big scifi con in Philly. After two days of staying up all night and going to the con events during the day we were all a little loopy.
Russ (who was the worst affected) fell asleep mid-sentence about some new card game suddenly jerked awake and shouted "I swear it's apple juice!" We never found out what he meant, but for the rest of the weekend and for years afterward all we had to do was mention apple juice and we'd all chuckle.
I'll show you in spring
It's a treacherous thing
"We missed you" hissed the glove hats.
God that brings back memories of The really sterotypical Asian cop on Dick Tracy. God I can't believe they aired them again durning the early 90's when the Warren Beatty movie came out. Yet they would not allow the racist Warner Bros. cartoons. #NotFair
I have a friend. She's a religious academic. She looks like a librarian and is cerebral and dignified.
Until you say "Ditch cookie".
I wasn't there when it was first said, so I have no idea how it developed, but if you say it, she'll end up literally ROFLing.
Way back when Yahtzee Croshaw reviewed Metal Gear Solid 4, my brother and I then responded to anthing confusing and nonsensical with "OH CHRIST! I can't go on. This shit is bananas!"
These picture comics are always a hoot, Joel. Remind me, who among your twitter pals also have webcomics? I kinda forgot because, regretably, there just isn't enough time in the day to read EVERY WEBCOMIC ON THE INTERNET.
"Fred Rogers is a dead white man!"
A few years ago, Levar Burton was a guest on "Tavis Smiley." Smiley called him the King of PBS. Burton, ever the humble one, demurred, "I don't know. Fred Rogers is still up there." Smiley immediately snapped back, "But Fred Rogers isn't a black man." All I could think was that Fred Rogers, godbless'im, is dead. I loudly proclaimed, "Fred Rogers is a dead white man!" That's now my synonym for dismissing anything as irrelevant.
I met you at this Comic Con you speak of good sir, and you were a delightful man. Thank you for putting up with my Captain Hammer gloved hands.
glad you enjoyed the show. Thanks!
An ex-boyfriend (whom I happen to still be platonic friends with), his roommates and I used to have this thing where we would see how many silly and inventive insults we could come up with to call each other. The absolutely funniest one, in our opinion, was "assbagel." Yes, assbagel. One day one of his roommates was at work and the rest of us were bored, so we repeatedly called his phone leaving messages on his voicemail using the word assbagel. Thereafter assbagel became his nickname. My friend even programmed his voice dialing to call the guy when he said "Call assbagel." Good times.
Oh, by the way, you should see this: http://www.regretsy.com/2011/08/21/weekend-flashb…