Fetch A Pail Of Water

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Actually it was Microsoft that emailed me about being able to watch Jack And Jill on my Xbox. At first I thought it was a threat. Like if I didn’t sign up for Xbox Live Gold they were going to somehow forcibly push Adam Sandler’s most recent unforgivable curse into my home. I immediately started digging through my pockets to see how much cash I had on hand. Maybe it I crammed it in the heat vents on my router I could convince them to stem the foul tide they were threatening to unleash on my otherwise unsullied by Sandler home. Even if Microsoft are contractually obligated to offer Jack and Jill to Xbox users as some sort of assisted suicide outreach program, the option to initiate the stream should be buried a hundred submenus deep, hidden behind dozens of “Are you sure” buttons, “do you realize what’s going to happen if you keep replying in the affirmative” check boxes and perhaps a dragon. A dragon with a thousand flaming dicks. I’m all for freedom of choice, but sometimes you have to save people from themselves.

I’m trying some new things with my art and posting a bit of the experimenting and progress on my Tumblr. Go follow that thing if you follow such things. Also, I posted this comic with no bubbles since I thought the fire was pretty.

I don’t care about arbitrary webcomic popularity contests, but David does and I don’t want him to win. So go vote for me, or anyone else besides David.

COMMENTERS: Adam Sandler used to make some extremely funny movies in the 90’s. Now it’s like he just wants to watch the world burn. Who else (movies, music or otherwise) used to produce high quality entertainment but traded it in for big money and watered down mass appeal?

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54 Comments

  1. I'm going to catch hell for my two pics but….

    Kevin Smith
    Tim Burton.

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    • Have you seen Smith's "Red State"…?

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      • I haven't, and maybe the fault in what I said is I'm basing it on his podcast. I don't know why but it just seems really dull. I do want to see Red State.

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        • Woody Allen – oh wait, they had to be high quality at some point.

          Anything that was directly influenced by management at Disney.

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    • Both are excellent choices, though I would argue Kevin Smith never reached the level that Tim Burton did as a film maker. I enjoyed Smith's films in my teenage years but find his current attitude and lackluster film output intolerable (out of his last 4, Clerks II is the only enjoyable one while the rest are middling to outright terrible).

      Ed Wood seems to be the last film Tim Burton was really passionate about. Most of his films in the last 10 years feel like merchandising grabs at the people who buy everything adorned with The Nightmare Before Christmas.

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      • "Both are excellent choices, though I would argue Kevin Smith never reached the level that Tim Burton did as a film maker."

        Funny, I was going to say the reverse. But then, I pretty much DESPISE Burton films, so I'm clearly biased. On the flip side, I can't comment on most of Smith's non-J&SB work, but I actually liked Cop-Out in a silly, "WTF is wrong with these guys?" sort of way.

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    • Comic book men supports your theory nicely.

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  2. I'm going to go off-topic and ask about an ad on the page:

    Why is Crunchy Nut the "unofficial" cereal of St. Patrick's Day? Wouldn't that fall to Lucky Charms? What's so "Irish" about Crunchy Nut?

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    • Crunchy Nut seems more Scottish than Irish

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      • It's a nut-crunchingly good time.

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  3. Is the lawn or Josh on fire in the third panel? it's so hard to tell

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    • Yes.

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  4. Nic Cage with a heaping steamy pile of Eddy Murphy.

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  5. Robin Williams, Matthew Broderick, Johnny Depp (how many pirate movies now? and the man needs to quit letting burton dress him up),.

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    • At least Robin Williams has a good reason. to my understanding he starting doing any movie that came his way to help Christopher Reeves family financially. but i could be wrong

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      • I think his downward spiral happened when he quit doing blow. This makes me feel very conflicted…

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        • Maybe we need to start a campaign to get Robin Williams back on the white gold!

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  6. To state the obvious: Eddie Murphy and George Lucas.

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    • George Lucas is the poster child for [insert what ever valid observation you wish to make – there are a lot of them ]

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    • I scanned the comments to make sure someone said Lucas. I'm surprised you were this far down, actually. He is the poster child for sell out for the monies… JarJar is proof of that.

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      • Jar Jar is perfectly reasonable, because, as I keep telling people, the prequel trilogy was FOR KIDS!
        That scene where Anakin butchers an entire village for gang-raping his mom was like Dora the Explorer, but on the big screen!
        Oh, that sociopathic Anakin, will he ever learn? ::shrugs and chuckles::

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  7. Also: DeNiro, but he's been in the crappy phase for years now.

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    • DeNiro gives a lot of his money to New York film groups so I can overlook most of the mediocre films he has done for the last 15 years.

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    • I saw "Limitless" recently and DeNiro had a role that looked, on the surface, like it should be perfect for him: menacing boss-man offering the (anti-?)hero a (non-)choice, etc. He totally phoned it in. I was deeply saddened.

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  8. Jack Black comes to mind. I adored him back in the 90s during the period where he had his amazing supporting role in High Fidelity and did the Tenacious D HBO shorts. Then I feel like his career hit a pinnacle with the release of the first Tenacious D album. Since then he has starred in a plethora of bad to abysmal films with only a few bright career moments (Brutal Legend, the Kung Fu Panda films, Tropic Thunder).

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  9. Kevin Smith (he may be good director at making slackers very watchable, but nowadays he just rambles on and on a lot without really getting to a coherent conclusion)

    Ben Stiller … and I will be shot for this, but Spielberg. You heard me!

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    • No-no, you got a point with Spiely.

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      • Really? Explain your logic on Spielberg.

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        • Indy4 alone should be enough.. but there's also War of the Worlds, half of both Minority Report and A.I. (4 frellin endings in both of 'em!!)
          also a long list of his producing credits… which is just too damn long to list, but ti means he was there working on the damn things!

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          • I concur. For A.I. alone, Spielberg should have to give back every award he's ever won.

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            • AI wasnt half bad until the 2nd ending. If you just stop it with him trapped at the bottom of the ocean its kind of a beautifully tragic story.

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              • That still includes all the early stupidity, like hunting rogue androids with a balloon made up to look like the Moon. Really? AI had visual design where it should have had a script.

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        • Don't ask. This is a person who believes that Ben Stiller at some point made an entertaining movie. There's no accounting for taste.

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  10. Scorsese.

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  11. Steve Martin; I'm actually old enough to remember looking forward to seeing his films. Eddie Murphy (obviously). I agree with Spielberg, I don't think he's made a film I was remotely interested in seeing since Saving Private Ryan. Mel Brooks, Blazing Saddles and Young Frankenstein were and are works of genius, his later output, not so much.

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    • Blazing Saddles was co-written with Gene Wilder and Richard Pryor, Young Frankenstein with Wilder again. He needs someone to reign in his schtick or he goes silly.

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  12. I'll go with Ice Cube. From NWA all the way down to Are We There Yet?, 21 Abortion Street, and Coors light commercials? Damn.

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  13. Okay, now I haven't actually seen Jack and Jill, so I'm basing this opinion purely on the trailers; but it seems to me that this movie is in the same style as his earlier work. Jill is basically the Billy Madison character mixed with his Gap Girl from SNL, Jack is more the deadpan snarker from Happy Gilmore, he has a weird kid like in Big Daddy, toss in some cartoonish elements from Waterboy or Eight Crazy Nights and you end up with this movie.

    Granted, the whole looks like less than the sum of its parts, but from what I can tell it looks like Adam Sandler trying to go back to his roots. I actually enjoyed later Sandler stuff more than early Sandler.

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    • There are a lot of shady aspects to the production of Jack and Jill. I would highly watching Red Letter Media's video review of it because they go into great detail why this was more that just a stupid waste of time.

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  14. *cough* *cough* Valve *cough*

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  15. Metallica.

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  16. On the music front: Avenged Sevenfold. Ugh.

    Also: LOVE the pretty-pretty flames here, Joel. Beautiful.

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    • Gyeeesh. I saw them on a double bill with Coheed and Cambria a few years back. They played 2nd (luckily) and I walked out after two songs.

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  17. What's sad is, Hollywood has 147,758,157 reasons (in dollars form) to keep making shit like Jack and Jill. So long as foolish people keep lining up for garbage like this, our eyeballs will continue to be assaulted in such horrific ways when we're just trying to watch some mindless TV before we fap ourselves to sleep.

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  18. I'm with you Dan. The average American is to blame for this downward spiral. Damn it! Why do people have to be such sheep!

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    • I agree.

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  19. James Cameron

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    • Agreed!

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      • Yeah, every once in a while I hear someone talk about how great Avatar was, and I'm like, "Uh, I don't know what movie you think I mean, but I'm talking about that movie that was like Ferngully, except way longer and way more animated."

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  20. John Carpenter seems to have lost his touch, but I don't know what to blame that on.

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    • Blame it on most of his 80s passion projects tanking and him taking a lot of work in the 90s he wasn't completely thrilled about to keep working. Escape from LA seemed to be the last project he was truly excited about and the studio gutted the budget right before shooting.

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  21. Robert De Niro.

    How do you go from The Godfather to Meet The Fockers? What dark progression of booze, lottery tickets and Satan causes that kind of career path?

    And I don't even know what the fuck happened to George Romero. Even I'm losing faith in the guy.

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