Eli’s Bachelor Party Fancy Photo Comic

AND MY AXE!
And My Axe - Gimli shirt by HijiNKS ENSUE

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YOU SHOULD GO PREORDER SHORTPACKED BOOK 4 by my friend DAVID WILLIS. THIS IS MY COMMANDMENT.

YOU SHOULD ALSO GO BID ON THIS PIECE OF PAPER THAT ME AND A BUNCH OF OTHER ARTISTS DREW ON AT C2E2 TO BENEFIT THE JAPAN RELIEF EFFORT. [MORE INFO HERE]

Almost all of this is a sort of entirely true account of Eli IRL’s bachelor party. Did you know the Sweet and Sassy party limo refuses to go to a bar or strip club regardless of how much you bribe or threaten the driver? I’m running off to Eli and Denise’s rehearsal dinner now. Tomorrow is the wedding! Will Eli take Denise’s last name? No one knows!

Update: Eli’s Red October cake made by James (the guy in panel 5 above holding the video camera). “Give me a slice,¬†Vasili.¬†One slice only, please.”

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44 Comments

  1. Where does one even get a Pink Limo for little girls?????

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    • I was in charge of…. acquiring…. said limo. And I'll never tell.

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      • That was a stroke of genius, right there.

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        • Whose "genius" did Josh stroke to get that limo???

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      • Somewhere, a 7 year old girl and her friends were cryin' that their ride was gone for the night.

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  2. Coke mirrors in a sweet 16 limo, that is all.

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  3. Oh, looks like the makeover worked. Eli definitely looks a little sassier at the end there….

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  4. That line about Josh's heart stopping should get this comic tagged "josh dies". Another hit, Joel! What's that meal you called a "hate crime"?

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    • I believe it is a ginormous chicken fried steak.

      Congrats Eli and Denise!

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      • Huh, that reply was supposed to be to Dean, weird.

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  5. pink limo w/ coke mirrors and beef jerky bourbon!? Like a tijauana quincenera! which btw is my los lobos cover band…sponsored by tres feo

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  6. What exactly did the ‘hate crime’ meal consist of? Because it looks like a heart attack on a plate.

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    • It appears to be a GIANT chicken fried steak (also some kind of fried bits on top, okra, maybe?) and some sort of cheesy mash potato conglomeration. Welcome to the South gentlemen.

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      • You are correct on all counts. There is also a "Mexican Vanilla Coke" which is just Vanilla Bourbon that was at one time placed very near a coke.

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        • Not too close, I hope. Too close to an unopened can might water down the bourbon.

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  7. Jesus Christ, Joel! I've seen one of these things in real life. You guys should be glad you got out of there with your limbs still attached!

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  8. God's tears…God's tears…can't stop laughing…avenge my death…

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  9. Forgive me for my ignorant British values, but surely that should say "Multi-by-pass" instead?

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    • Not if they're quoting 'The Fifth Element'.

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      • Makes more sense now… I guess I was staring in horror at the heart stopping "food" too much to put 2 & 2 together.

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      • Is that where thr Meat Popsicle line's from?

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  10. Is the rehersal dinner at the same restaurant as the bachelor party?

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    • I doubt we'll ever be allowed in there again.

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  11. Are you kidding! The staff all came outside to watch us disgorge from said Pink Limo. They LOVED us.

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  12. The "redundant Judi" line almost made me die. Well done sir.

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  13. Your getting out of the pink limo with the mother fucking boss line. PURE GOLD! A poster or t-shirt should be made sir.

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  14. So much glorious, wonderful beard in this comic. It brought a tear to my eye.

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  15. What is this… beef jerky bourbon and where may one acquire it?

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    • Home made at Cowboy Chow, Deep Ellum (Dallas), TX
      You don't want it. It was VILE

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  16. I want to hang the "new last supper" picture in my house . . . Ok, in the garage.

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    • ok under the mat in the kitchen.

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  17. Man, seeing a meal like that spread out kind of makes me miss Texas. Cheese on a biscuit never happens here. Or is that ol' yaller gravy? Hard to tell from over here.

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  18. Damnit, I'm starving now and it's just past nine! And it's Friday and I'm trying to be a good Catholic and not eat meat. Want. Chicken. Fried. Steak. Right. Now.

    Looks like a blast.

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  19. Well done Josh, and Good luck Eli!

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  20. By riding in the girliest limo and then eating the manliest meal, did you all become pregnant? Because that's the only other thing I can think of that consists of such gender contrasts.

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    • Actually it was the Mexican beer that got us all pregnant… WITH PARASITES!

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  21. So, since the pretty limo wouln't pull up to a strippers, did you just have it park a block away or cab it? If you claim you didn't go to one, I will call you a damned lier.

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  22. That was awash in bucket o' win! The perfect balm for a crunch-time week from hell. Thank you.

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  23. Darn, I was hoping it was a mysterious awesomess like chile beer.

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  24. "…Meat popcicle… Multipass" <snicker>
    "Jazz hands!" <chucklesnortgiggle>
    "Redundant Judi" <bwahahaha!>

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  25. How are supposed to drink coke off those mirrors? The glass would slide right off when the car stopped…

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  26. This is hilarious

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  27. "All I know is I'm betrayin' the shit outta somebody tonight."

    I lost it when I read this.

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