Guest Comic By Lee Bretschneider

Reading about my continuing health problems, HE reader and super fancy illustrator Lee Bretschneider sent me this fantastic guest comic without me even having to ask. Check out his portfolio at AdventuringCompany.com, and his comic “Wheelchair Romeo.” Also check him out getting his back waxed at RIGHT HERE. It’s awful.

Normally I would ask a potential guest-comicer to clear their intentions with me first, but Lee had the foresight to be incredibly talented which precludes the need for artist clearance. I’m very grateful for the helping hand seeing as how I spent 12 hours in the emergency room yesterday.

If you want to play catch-up on my most recent medical misadventures you can do so on the Twitters starting from here.

Longest-possible-story-ever-short:

Thought I had an aneurysm [9/24]
CT Scan and Spinal Tap proved I was OK
$1400 bill
Spinal Tap didn’t heal correctly so my brain didn’t have enough brain juice to float in causing 24 hour migraines/nausea for 7 days
migraines got out of control, chest and neck pain started, vision started going wonky
Wet to ER at “poor folks” hospital downtown [9/30]
They wanted to treat me with pain meds and send me on my way
10 hours later they agreed to to the blood patch I needed to repair my spinal fluid leak
12 hours total and $1600 later I went home and slept for almost 24 hours

Now that my medical bills have topped $3000, I am considering some kind of donation drive or limited print sale to help take care of them. If you have ideas, let me know. Otherwise I will think about it and post something next week.

BOOK UPDATE: The books should be here on Monday [10/5/09]. I leave for Baltimore Comic-Con a few days later so there probably won’t be any books shipped until I get back. I may do some live streaming of the book signings/sketchings on Ustream.

Thank you all for your continued support and kind words through what has been one of the crappiest months of my life.

GYFB

~Joel

Guest Comic By Save Hiatus

UPDATE 9/28/09: The spinal headaches from the lumbar puncture have gotten worse. It’s like a 24 hour migraine at this point, so I can’t draw [or do anything else that isn’t lying flat on my back]. Comics will resume when my health allows. ~Joel

Big giant geeky thanks to Chris and Adam from Save Hiatus [the comic is actually on hiatus so follow @lexigeek and @cabridges for updates] for volunteering this guest strip. They managed to make light of my recent medical issues [read below] while still remaining topical with Flashforward reference. Flashforward premiered on ABC last night. I still haven’t watched it, but I’ve heard good things.

I had hoped to do a follow up to yesterday’s Roddenberry-MacBorg comic, but the best laid plans of mice and men are all turned to shit when you think you just had an aneurysm at 1am and rush yourself to the emergency room for a CT scan.

Those of you that follow me on Twitter were privy to the onslaught of unwelcome excitement that started in the wee hours of Thursday morning. Long/horrible story short: I had what is known as a “thunderclap headache” which means that out of nowhere you feel the worst headache you’ve ever felt in your life. It knocked me on the floor, blinded with pain and screaming. Some quick paranoid Googling later and I learned it could either be nothing at all, or the sign that I’d just had an aneurysm and could possibly be about to die. This freaked me out (read: terri-fucking-fied) me enough to go to the 24hr emergency hospital near my house despite not having insurance or any money. My wife and I decided that I would rather be broke than dead.

The doc told me that while I shouldn’t be scared by every medical thing I read on Google, I was actually right and I could very well have had a subarachnoid hemorrhage (brain bleed). He ordered a CT scan and a lumbar puncture. The CT scan showed nothing unusual but the doc expected as much. The LP was going to be the real indicator. So he shoved a giant needle in my spine and drained out several viles of the juice my brain floats in. This also showed that I was fine, but had the annoying side effect of leaving my brain with a dearth of juice to float in and a leak in it’s juice reservoir. This causes “spinal headaches” or tiny migraines behind your eyes every time you try to lift your head up or walk or do anything but lay flat on your back. So the only reason I feel like shit and can’t move is because of the test that broke my bank and told me I was fine.

The whole ordeal cost me over a grand (so much for no credit card debt), but afforded me a great deal of peace of mind. I really couldn’t just ignore something as serious as a potential brain hemorrhage. Despite how terrible I feel now, I’m actually quite relieved and at ease. I also got to make a handful of “Spinal Tap” and “House” jokes which I am grateful for.

Thanks you all of your that kept me company on Twitter and sent your kind words of support and well wishes. I was there for 6 hours so you certainly helped me keep my mind off things. A few of your have sent generous donations to help with my medical bills. I honestly can’t express properly what that means to me so I’ll just say thanks.

Now I’m going to watch Flashforward on the DVR. If you’ve already seen it, feel free to give your spoiler-free review in the comments.

Expanding Our Culinary Horizons (Guest Comic by Tindómiel Muinamir)

Denise is actually quite the cook. I’ve always been OMNOMingly impressed with her culinary concoctions in the past. Though her people do have a nagging tendency to eat bile, and blood and unborn baby ducks and occasionally send a species to extinction for the sake of a good sammich. Though it might be beyond even her iron pallet to take on a hybrid Bacon Explosion/Great Old One. Maybe if it had more bile. Mmmmm… biley.

A gigantic FB thank you to Tindómiel for another fantastically fancy guest comic. Based on this and her last one, I now have a working theory that she has a thing for drawing tentacles and tongues.

Friday I leave for New England Webcomics Weekend, but I am working on having a new HE comic complete before I leave. I realized that I couldn’t let the BSG series finale go by without a proper HE send off. Who knows if I’ll actually see it on Friday or if I’ll have to wait until I get home. There is some Twitter talk of a showing after the Friday Night Pub Crawl.

Speaking of, If you want to communicate or keep up with what I’m doing while I’m away at NEWW, you should probably follow me on Twitter.

I won’t be back in Dallas until Monday, so I really don’t know if there will be a Monday comic or not. I am hoping to find some time to whip one out either at the Hotel or at the show, but I have no idea how much down time I’ll have. Maybe I’ll so a “con-sketchbook” style comic like Penny Arcade does.

I’m Going To Be In Pictures (Guest Comic By Didu)

Those Hollywood FOOLS! They have no idea how much bacon I can eat. I assume after the international release I would be paid residuals in Canadian bacon.

I am spending this week catching up on projects and preparing for Webcomics Weekend so, once again, Didu has graced us with her unique interpretation of the HE crew. I LOVE how she draws these guys. I am considering ripping off some of her ideas for my next character design revisions. I also enjoy the fact that her guest comics always deal with the actual people behind the HE characters and not the characters themselves. I think she bases her guest comics more on the Podcast Crew than the comic, which spices things up.

So, regarding the HE movie… SHIA EFFING THE’BEAF?! I can only assume he’s playing me. I know he draws a box office crowd, but come-fucking-on! Was Christian Bale not available? Did anyone call Edward Norton’s people? At least give me Paul Rudd or John Cussack. Jesus Titty-Manipulating Christ Shia Lebeouf Mother Fuck.

Alright, Fancy Bastards. Let’s get this movie pitch down before we take it to H-Wood. Who’s playing who? Who’s directing? What’s the plot? Drama, comedy, psychological thriller or straight up zombie love story? Gimme the over all arch for a trilogy? 20 years later what will the prequels focus on and how will they fuck up the canon? Product tie ins? Is there a talking CGI dog or just a cameo by Jackie Chan as Denise’s dad? THE COMMENTS BECKON YOU WITH THEIR SIREN SONG!

Twas The Night… (Guest Comic by Tindómiel Muinamir)

…Of The Living Dead Before Christmas

(Alternate Title: “Zombiesplode!”)

Tindómiel Muinamir caps off the week of Fancy Bastard holiday guest comics with her zombie-fied Santa tale. I was super excited when Tindómiel (Christine) agreed to contribute a comic since I was already a fan of her artwork for Jonathan Coulton’s t-shirt design contest (hers is HERE), and her costume making/songwriting/singing/violin…ing ability.

My favorite part of this comic (besides all of it) is that Eli and I are asleep on the couch in our regular clothes, and Josh is in silken PJ’s. You might think they are just PJ’s, but I promise you they are delicate and silken.

Check out the “making of” process HERE.

Happiest of holidays to all you Fancy Bastards. Enjoy your families, your friends and your food.

Update:

It seems The FSM’s noodley appendage has other plans for me. Family obligations have made comicing impossible for the last several days. I have one that I want to get out before the end of the year, but right now I can say exactly when it will be.

Happy Holidays!

-Joel

Update 2:

Looks like VG Cats unknowingly made the sequel to this comic (HERE).