Chapters: Guest Comics

Guest Comic By Natalie Metzger

CALGARY FANCY BASTARDS!

Thank you so much for treating me so kindly while I visited your fine city, and thank you to my friends/brothers from  Cyanide & Happiness for hosting me and letting me play in there sandbox once again. I worked harder and drew more at this con than I ever have in my entire life. We, Rob Denbleyker and I, literally sketched for 9 hours a day, 4 days in a row with no more than a 15 minute break each day. My hands are sore, my brain is tired, and my heart is full of Alberta beaf… no, wait. My stomach… no, pretty sure it’s my heart. 

I hope to see you again next year, Calgary!

becomepatron

RE: This comic
When I was at Emerald City Comicon last month, I received the first ever piece of “post-reboot” HE fan art (WARNING: ADORBS) from Fancy Bastard Natalie Metzger. She contacted me and offered a guest comic for my Calgary trip and I was all too happy to accept. Oh, little bottles of booze, you will surely be my undoing. You and the Great Old Ones. But mostly you.

Natalie has two webcomics going on right now:

http://cthulhuslippers.com and http://over-encumbered.com

She also has a website/hub here:  http://thefuzzyslug.com

STORE STUFF!
There are some great PRINTS and POSTERS in the store. Your walls cry out for them. Appease your lamenting walls!

SDCC 2013 Guest Comic By Lar deSouza: “#BOOTHWOLVES”

I have yet to emerge from my Post-SDCC Recuperation Pod, so please enjoy this guest comic by my wonderful friend Lar. I ran into Lar in the airport on the way back to Dallas (after sharing a booth with him for 5 days), and he literally tossed this off on my Surface Pro in about 20 minutes. The man is an art machine. He’s like a guy that was going to be rude to a gypsy, but instead he helped her carry her grocery bags to her car and she cursed him with unfathomable talent.

Lar makes more professional grade art in his spare time than most artists do in their entire miserable lives (artists are known for having miserable lives. This is a science fact). On a whim me made me a con badge featuring my travel tormenters, the #BLOODWOLVES, which borrowed art from his last #BLOODWOLVES guest comic (under which you can read a post that explains what #BLOODWOLVES are all about). The badge seems to have acted as a talisman against the curses of the #BLOODWOLVES since I had almost no travel travesties going to or from SDCC this year. It also seems to have deflected their wrath to my friends since both Lar and David missed (or nearly missed) their flights. They are probably just chasing David because he is covered in my scent.

Please be sure to check out Lar’s Tumblr, his comic, his other comic, his print shop and his t-shirt store.

UPDATE 7/23/13: Also check out this story I posted on my Tumblr about a really touching moment I witnessed at SDCC this year.

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Lar · 99 weeks ago

Aw shucks! Thanks Joel.
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Katlamos · 99 weeks ago

Just read that tumblr post. Nope, those aren’t tears. It’s just very dusty in here.
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Bill Murphy · 99 weeks ago

I hope you had a great time.
Welcome home! 😀

Guest Comic By Lar deSouza: “Cry, The Red Moon”

I AM IN CALGARY RIGHT NOT FOR CALGARY EXPO!!! Details HERE. 

[NOTE: I am writing this on Wednesday 4/24/13, before my flight to Calgary. So in all likelihood I am already dead, made a meal by a pack of blood starved hell beasts.]

Lar just gets me, man. He knows what it’s like to pay $600 for a flight to Calgary that leaves at 6am, so you have to be at the airport at 4am (international flight), so you have to leave the house at 3am, so you have to be up at 2:30am after going to bed at 2:20am, only for the privilege of a 4 hour layover in Phoenix before boarding your actual flight to the actual place you are going to draw dicks on paper for kind people with silly pastel money. Lar knows what’s going to be waiting for me at the airport. At each of the three airports I will visit. Lar knows they can smell my exhaustion, my frustration on the ill wind that creeps and hollers through Terminals A through C.

Lar is the most versatile and adept artist I know. He creates art like fish swim: constantly and seemingly without effort. He’s a mentor, a tutor, a surrogate uncle and he can pound back a bottle of chocolate wine like nobodies business. Check out his Tumblr, his comic, his other comic, his print shop and his t-shirt store.

For the confusedly uninitiated, #bloodwolves are the physical manifestation of all of my frustrations with air travel when going to conventions. Sometimes I am their prey, sometimes I am their kin and other times I just tell their story in order to garner favor, grow their legend and keep them at bay. Insomnia induced delirium? What Insomnia induced delirium? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAGHLAAAGHLLAGHLLLL[THROWS UP BLOOD FOREVER]!!!

 COMMENTERS: How have the #bloodwolves tormented you?

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tomspeelman· 112 weeks ago

Mostly on buses, preventing me from sleeping while the bus rolls across the plains. They torment me with their howling.
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josh· 112 weeks ago

I love the way Lar draws you.
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Mr c · 112 weeks ago

This was up for a bit Yesterday

And i love it, run for your seat joel, before they reinitiate you into the pack

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Fayili · 112 weeks ago

Every time. Sometimes the layovers last six hours. Sometimes eleven. Sometimes only one. They’re always there, pacing, around a kiosk corner or next to the Cinnabon. JFK or O’Hare. Even London. They’re there.

When I finally arrive in Ireland, I hit the ground running, and when I make it through customs, my beau looks at me with mild concern. For some reason, they’ve never bothered him when he flies to me. I don’t like to speculate why.

For the moment, I am safe. But they know that in a month, or three months, I’ll have to go home. And they wait…

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deadrobot · 112 weeks ago

I am immune to Bloodwolves. For I have …NEXUS!
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nenslo · 112 weeks ago

Clearly your theme song should be The Prodigy – Run With The Wolves
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CatVonAwesome· 112 weeks ago

My bloodwolves come in the form of people who won’t shut up or feel the need to get up and stand RIGHT AT THE FRONT OF THE LINE BECAUSE OMG I HAVE TO GET ON THIS PLANE FIRST ITS VERY IMPORTANT EVEN THOUGH I HAVE A PRE-SELECTED SEAT ASSIGNMENT THAT I GET THERE FIRST OR THEY MIGHT LEAVE WITHOUT ME.

I don’t understand that need to be first. We’re all going to the same place. Crazy people, I be you’d be a lot less stressed if you’d just wait until your damn row is called.

I tend to be very zen about travelling because…..because. It is what it is. Maybe that comes from travelling with my former flight attendant mom so much when I was a kid. But, I don’t want to talk to people (much like the rest of my life) and so when people push and shove or get loud or decide to ignore the Headphones of Don’t Bother Me, I do tend to get stressy.

Just booked my flight to SDCC this week. Can’t wait! It’s my first con since SDCC 2011.

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sicklittlemonky· 112 weeks ago

This might be my favourite guest strip ever!

I hate flying so much I recently drove 4000 km to go to a wedding rather than fly. The blood wolves will not get me, dammit!

2 replies · active 110 weeks ago

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The Unknown FB · 112 weeks ago

I’ve gone so far as to calculate the ROI on the cost of flights vs. what I make per hour to determine whether I’m going to rent a car to drive long distance or fly to “attempt” to save the time.
Once you factor in a 4-6 hour flight (mandatory connecting because of where I now live) and time waiting in airport, it approaches the 13 hour drive time back home to visit family, which makes doing either a PITA.
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Mahnarch · 110 weeks ago

Muah-ha-ha! This is why I went and got myself a Pilot’s License!
My plane! My stuff! My schedule!
And, the view is better!
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HikingViking · 111 weeks ago

I loath air travel. Actually, when I think about air travel, it makes me mad that this country doesn’t have high-speed rail like many other places. I’d still have to get on a plane for flights to Europe or Asia, but international flights are usually a little better (bigger seats, choice of movies, etc.). Mostly though, I hate all of the extra security bull$h*t. I travelled from Seattle to Korea last year, and had to literally sprint through almost the entirety of San Francisco International airport on a layover, only to be held up in another security screening. Apparently, SFO’s international terminal isn’t connected to their other terminals, so there’s no way to avoid a security screen even if you’ve already had one in the U.S. I could go on, and on, and on – really, my issues with air travel are about the closest I get to sounding like a conspiracy theorist. Ultimately thought, “they” kind of have us over a barrel, and until that whole teleportation thing is figured out, we’re pretty much SOL (International).
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preciousRoy · 111 weeks ago

I’ve flown out of O’Hell once, the experience was pleasant until I got to my destination. Apparently that part of Texas just smells like diesel fumes.

Guest Comic By William Tallman Of Reptilis Rex

I’m at Emerald City Comicon RIGHT NOW having a motherbuttshaking PARTYPARTYPARTYPARTY!!! If you are in Seattle, come to booth 1106 (the Blind Ferret Booth) and SHAKE DEM HEALTHY BUTTS!  (also buy stuff from me)

hijinks-ensue-emerald-city-comicon-map-2013

In my absence you are presently being treated to a guestual type comic from William Tallman, creator of Reptilis Rex. It is uncomfortably clear from the panels above that W.T. gets my sense of humor, gets my characters’ sensibilities and draws my characters better than I do. I’m not even going to ask if you enjoyed this comic (BECAUSE YOU DID), so in your pursuit of more haha-yuckyucks by Mr. Tallman I will direct you again (THAT’S RIGHT, TWO LINKS!) to his comic about a deposed Reptoid king from our very own hollow Earth who comes up to the surface and has a pretty shitty life. The cuteness of the pictures is designed to distract you from the undeniably honest sadness of the human reptoid condition. It’s funny!

COMMENTERS: Have you ever explored the expanded universe (novels, comics, CCG’s, whatever) of any particular popular culture element? Did you find comfort in delving into a larger universe which concerned a thing you already loved, or were you saddened when you found out Han Solo used to be partners with a space rabbit?

JoCo Cruise Crazy 3 Guest Comic By Chris Hallbeck Of Maximumble

JoCo Cruise Crazy 3 Guest Fortnight is over! We are safely docked somewhere in Alabama or Mississippi or one of the other states you are supposed to completely avoid. The passenger unload is going much faster than anticipated since we don’t have any luggage. I mean we HAVE luggage, but after 4 days without power or running water pretty much everything became a de facto toilet. We’ve drunk all the fresh water from our souvenir snow globes and boiled the shells from our souvenir necklaces to make a sort of broth we called Sea Juice. All in all this trip was 100 times better than the time I went to Branson.

If I may be ever so slightly serious for a moment, JoCo Cruise Crazy 3 was once again a transformative experience. I made new friends, strengthened old friendships, frolicked on tropical beaches with some of my favorite people and received world class entertainment every single day and night provided by some of the most wonderful funny people, musicians, and purveyors of talent that I have ever shared a floating mall-hotel with. If you are on the fence about going next year, GET OFF THAT DAMN FENCE! It’s a week of fun that you will never forget or regret. It’s crazy expensive, but what are you going to take with you when you die? Money or memories? (If they find a way to let you take money with you when you die, I will go back and amend this post, because… I mean, c’mon. That would be AWESOME.) I haven’t even gone through my photos yet, but if I do make Fancy Photo Comics of this trip I will post them somewhere besides the front page of the website so that those of you (heartless, joyless wretches) who do not enjoy them will not have to be unnecessarily burdened.

This final Guest Fortnight offering (on the theme of me accidentally getting on the wrong boat) comes from my friend Chris Hallbeck of Maximumble, Minimumble and his flagship comic The Book Of Biff. Chris and I are both parents of young children and seem to share many of the same ideas about raising a functional, exceptional human in a weird internet world and blah blah blah mushy frienship whatever HE MADE THIS SHIRT WHICH I THINK IS VERY FUNNY. Also this mug. Funny. Go buy those things.

As a little tag to Chris’s joke, I thought I would include this photo that I took in a shipboard karaoke booth with Wil Wheaton and John Scalzi. Somehow I knew it would come in handy. [click to embiggen]

Not Johnny's Boat