Chapters: HijiNKS ENSUE

In The Not Too Distant Future

comfyconDid you miss my ComfyCon panel? Did you miss all of ComfyCon? Did you not know that ComfyCon was a free, online convention where many of your favorite online comics artists did live panels in their pajamas? Well, you can catch my panel, #PanelRoulette, archived here and check out the rest of the watchable goodies here.

Screen Shot 2013-11-19 at 5.02.11 AM

Do you live in or around Austin, TX? Come see me and Dave from Cyanide & Happiness and Randy from Something*Positive at Wizard World Austin this weekend (Saturday and Sunday only). We’ll be at the Dragon’s Lair booth selling merch and doing sketches.

Are you somewhere between the age of 30 and 50? Then perhaps you remember the annual MST3K Turkey Day marathon. Well, guess what? I’ll tell you if you calm down! Are you calm? OK NOW FREAK OUT! It’s coming back this year! Joel Hodgson will be curating fan-favorite episodes suggested by you via his Twitter, online this thanksgiving RIGHT HERE. Now you have something to do besides stare silently across the meat-laden table at your horrible family!

If I was picking the episodes, and I was not limited to 6, I would say (in no particular order): Mitchell, Pod People, Touch Of Satan, Overdrawn At The Memory Bank, Alien From L.A., Time Chasers, Soul Taker, Space Mutiny, double feature of Invasion Of The Neptune Men (Space Chief) and Prince Of Space, Future War and Wild Rebels. I’m leaving out Manos: The Hands Of Fate because I only watch it every 5-10 years or so to preserve my will to live. Oh shit, also Jack Frost, Hobgoblins, and, perhaps most importantly, Final Sacrifice (Rowsdower saves us and he saves all the world. ROWSDOWER!).

COMMENTERS: First off, go ahead and add to my list of essential MST3K viewing or scrap it and create your own (less accurate) list.

Secondly, what piece of personal favorite geekery are you most enthusiastic about passing down to future generations?

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Kirby's avatar

Kirby · 82 weeks ago

She seems to be trying to apply the logic people use on shows now on shows from the past.

Nostalgia glasses are non-transferable… such a shame.

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hijinksensue· 82 weeks ago

That’s really kind of you to say, and I appreciate the encouragement.
Other Joel's avatar

Other Joel · 82 weeks ago

Your list is invalid without Werewolf. Other than that, you got it spot on

1 reply · active 82 weeks ago

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hijinksensue· 82 weeks ago

I know that’s a fan fav, but I believe it’s one of the ones I havent seen. THe good news is, there are still “new” episodes for me to enjoy.
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Mitch H. · 82 weeks ago

Not MST3K. I lived in a commune (ok, large student apartment with a crazy-open-door policy) where they *loved* themselves some MST3K. Damn show always put me to sleep. I ended up staving off sleeping in semi-public by trolling Usenet whenever they started in on the bad movies.

1 reply · active 82 weeks ago

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gabepuratekuta· 82 weeks ago

My only regret is that their version of Gamera is the only one on Netflix…
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King Zilch· 82 weeks ago

>add to my list of essential MST3K viewing

No, as long as Space Mutiny is on the list we’re good to go. Buff Drinklots! Butch Deadlift! Slab Squatthrust! Big McLargeHuge!

4 replies · active 82 weeks ago

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FuryOfFirestorm· 82 weeks ago

Don’t forget Blast Hardcheese!
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King Zilch· 82 weeks ago

Fridge Largemeat! Gristle McThornbody!
Chris's avatar

Chris · 82 weeks ago

Bob Johnson!
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SmolderingMuffin · 82 weeks ago

Space Mutiny is, by far, my favorite MST3K episode. It’s beginning-to-end hilarious.

Fist Rockgroin!

“How DARE you insult my knowledge of ancient dentistry?!”

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Wack’d · 82 weeks ago

Hang on…you guys didn’t skip the theme song, did you? Because if she sat through the theme song she wouldn’t be asking this stuff.

Lessee…”The Day the Earth Froze”, “I Accuse My Parents”, “Pumaman”, “Monster A-Go-Go”, “The Brain that Wouldn’t Die”…beyond that I think you covered it.

As for what I’m gonna pass down to my kids, definitely this, “Doctor Who”, and “The Adventures of Pete and Pete”.

1 reply · active 82 weeks ago

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hijinksensue· 82 weeks ago

I think I was already watching “Final Sacrifice” on Netflix when they got home.
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manbeardman · 82 weeks ago

star trek the good one not the new crap ( i apologize if any one here liked the new crap )
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Rebecca Daniels · 82 weeks ago

I have SO MUCH LOVE for this strip! This is such a fine example of deftly weaving together the family stuff and the geeky stuff. Of course, that’s your life so I don’t know why I am even a little surprised. Well done, sir.

1 reply · active 82 weeks ago

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RandalFlagg · 82 weeks ago

Pretty much any of the “Gamera” movies
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hijinksensue· 82 weeks ago

Ive heard a lot of good things about this one, but I dont think I’ve seen it.
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furrbear· 82 weeks ago

I’ve never been a MST-ie, but as for what geekery I want to pass along…
http://freebabylon5.com/ – right there.
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BoldlyGettingThere · 82 weeks ago

I thought you were referring to yourself in the third person in the first panel. Oh, and are the Fancy Digital Sketches still being worked on?

2 replies · active 82 weeks ago

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hijinksensue· 82 weeks ago

Yes, they are. I am the worst.
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BoldlyGettingThere · 82 weeks ago

No Joel, you’re the best. You’re putting so much effort into the ones you’ve posted on your Tumblr I’m surprised you have time to make the comic.
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Steve · 82 weeks ago

WHO IS THIS STRANGER WITH PECS LIKE MELONS AND KNEES OF FRINGE??
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FuryOfFirestorm· 82 weeks ago

If I ever have kids, I’m passing down my Transformers collection to them.

Granted, since I’m a guy totally into the D, having kids isn’t very likely, but I can always adopt or do it the old-fashioned way *shudder*

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Steve · 82 weeks ago

In all honesty, the movie version of MST3K was probably one of the best MST3K forays there was. Only down side, no TV’s Frank. Still, Interociters aplenty, great laughs, terrific effects…they brought the A-game for the theatrical release. It was a shame what it turned into. But thousands of quotable lines and great movies made this one for the ages. Cave Dwellers, Mitchell, Pod People, Red Zone Cuba…and the shorts. Oh wow…the shorts.

2 replies · active 82 weeks ago

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hijinksensue· 82 weeks ago

The short about the coils is my favorite.
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Bruceski · 82 weeks ago

Ocassionally I say “nooooo springs!” and everyone looks at me weird.
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MrPlow99 · 82 weeks ago

I’ve already turned my friend’s daughter (she’s 8) into a Doctor Who fan. In fact, I’m going to visit them and watch the 50th Anniv. special with them.

I never watched MST3K regularly, but I recall Overdrawn at the Memory Bank and Puma Man.

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Blake · 82 weeks ago

No love for Cave Dwellers? That’s my absolute favourite! Who could forget such incredible lines as:

“Ohhh neat, she’s making gunpower out of her own filth. Ugh!”

or

“It is everything…and nothing.” “Uhh, could you be a little more vague please?”

3 replies · active 82 weeks ago

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Blake · 82 weeks ago

Nevermind… someone snuck some dwellers love in there. Awesome
Steve's avatar

Steve · 82 weeks ago

They never killed a puppet that big before!
Larry's avatar

Larry · 82 weeks ago

Fugitive Alien.

“This is the song, written for the train chase,
This is the chase, Rocky and Ken,
He tried to kill me with a forklift!”

Mark's avatar

Mark · 82 weeks ago

My wife has already introduced our kids. In fact “The Legend of Boggy Creek II” just finished in the back ground. I can’t wait until they are older to bust out “Ron & Stimpy” and Month python.
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FarrisGoldstein· 82 weeks ago

Those trees are loud.

1 reply · active 82 weeks ago

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hijinksensue· 82 weeks ago

Whatcha got there, Banjo?
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Runcibletune · 82 weeks ago

I think panel three is a pretty adorable portrait of your family. Uh, not that I know your family… *clears throat nervously* You just look really happy.
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bionelly · 82 weeks ago

Nostalgia’s great and all, but it seems like I’m usually most enthusiastic (and my daughter’s most receptive) when I’m experiencing new stuff along with her. I suspect that’s why (much as I love them) Star Trek and Star Wars both fell kinda flat with her, but she is, if possible, an even bigger fan of Doctor Who and the Portal games than I am.
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Genera Zollinger · 82 weeks ago

I’m not big into MST3K so nothing to add there.

As for geekery we are passing down to our children, so far it’s a love of the Muppet Show, LOTR, Legos and Star Wars. And Indiana Jones. My oldest boy at 6 is intrigued by Doctor Who – all he really understands so far is, as he said, “The Doctor wins by thinking.”

And Batman. Ye Gods Batman. My eldest is often seen in a Batman cape running everywhere. We had a wonderful moment last summer when we were walking through the park and passed a kid in a Superman t shirt and cape.

“Hey Batman.”
“Hey Superman.”

And they just kept walking. Adorable.

~G. Zollinger

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maggie · 82 weeks ago

I agree – ANY Gamera. but also Santa Claus Conquers the Martians – best line ever was Crow telling Joel what he wants for Christmas: I wanna decide who lives and who dies.
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Evan · 82 weeks ago

You nailed it with Time Chasers and Soul Taker. Could there even be a Thanksgiving without Joe Estevez?!

I would add Werewolf and Merlin’s Mystical Shop, though…

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groklife · 82 weeks ago

I’ve got to go with adding “Werewolf” and “Parts: The Clonus Horror.” And “The Pumaman.” And “Gamera.”

Best line from “Werewolf”: “And you’re welcome to my Flagstaff, too, if you know what I mean…” Or is it, “Paul! You is a waerwelf!” Tough to call. Hilariously bad.

Parts, the movie that sued “The Island.”

Oh, and “Gamera…” Gamera is fun to eat, he is filled with turtle meat, we all love you Gameraaaaaa!”

“The pew-ma-man, flies like a moron!” Gut-buster, for sure!

Thanks for reminding me of all these funnies, Joel (and other commetors!)

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deleted819876· 82 weeks ago

I’ve got to go with adding “Werewolf” and “Parts: The Clonus Horror.” And “The Pumaman.” And “Gamera.”

Best line from “Werewolf”: “And you’re welcome to my Flagstaff, too, if you know what I mean…” Or is it, “Paul! You is a waerwelf!” Tough to call. Hilariously bad.

Parts, the movie that sued “The Island.”

Oh, and “Gamera…” Gamera is fun to eat, he is filled with turtle meat, we all love you Gameraaaaaa!”

“The pew-ma-man, flies like a moron!” Gut-buster, for sure!

Thanks for reminding me of all these funnies, Joel (and other commetors!)

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deleted819876· 82 weeks ago

Sorry for the double post. 🙁
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Roborat · 82 weeks ago

I love MT3K, however due to stupid distribution rules in Canada, I didn’t get to see many episodes. I did however, introduce my kids to Monty Python, to the point that we can watch Holy Grail with the sound off, and Doctor Who. Also made them fans of the Muppet Show, Dinosaurs, Animaniacs and Tiny Toons. Didn`t have much luck with Ultraman however, they refuse to watch it after the first episode I showed them. Can`t say I blame them.

1 reply · active 82 weeks ago

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Tony · 82 weeks ago

I don’t have much MST3K experience (though if you need suggestions on how to approach its baby brother Rifftrax, I could probably help, though, that’s pretty simply “Start with the Twilight movies, then move onto the next most terrible movies you’ve ever heard of, and probably avoid movies that you actually like, not that they’ll make you hate them or anything, but that the Riffs will probably fall kinda flat. Battlefield Earth and Batman and Robin are tough to endure, even with Rifftrax, but they’re worth it.”)

As for passing on of geekery, I just decided that my 4 and 2-year-old second cousins (who are, for all intents and purposes, nieces) are getting at least Here Comes Science if not the rest of They Might Be Giants’ educational series of CDs (double-whammy of geekery, in that they’ll be getting CDs) for Christmas. It’s going to be tough to break the older one out of princess mode and into geek mode, but her little sister is ripe for being made into a geek.

And as soon as they’re old enough to not have to worry about choking hazards, I’m looking forward to introducing them to LEGO, and I’ll be damned if I let them see any of the new boxes that don’t have the alternate model pictures on them as if to say “You know, you don’t have to build the thing on the front. There are other possibilities in this box, as many as your little mind can conjure and your young motor skills can assemble…”

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Siirenias · 82 weeks ago

Spaceballs. The Fourth Doctor. Lord of the Rings. RPGs.

…
MUDs.

alex's avatar

alex · 82 weeks ago

And netflix just added 5 new ones to instant. They sense a change in the wind… that or have access to the streaming rights to the show as well as data indicating a sudden increase in google searches for “LA-LA-LA”
Steve's avatar

Steve · 82 weeks ago

Hey Joel! How do you take your whiskey?!
Iver's avatar

Iver · 82 weeks ago

When I was managing at the Music Store, I used to show the MST3K version of the short “Mr. B Natural” to my new employees once they’d finished their training as a “reward”…
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marchaux · 82 weeks ago

I can’t believe no one mentioned “Attack of the Leeches!” “He’s a mess… a CHOCOLATE mess!”
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Kaidah · 71 weeks ago

For MST3K, I would recommend ‘The Skydivers’. It’s a personal favorite and includes a short from 1956 on why boys should take shop class.
“Did the actors do their own skydiving?”
“No, the skydivers did thier own acting.”

I’ve already passed down some of my favorite bits of geekery to my sons: Star Wars, Lego (two great things that are great together!), Calvin and Hobbes (which helped my youngest develop his reading. I don’t care what my grandmother says, reading is reading.), Doctor Who, and a general love for all things sciency or science fictiony. My kids are awesome! 😀

Dressed For Success

My store has some new signed prints and signed posters you should entirely check out. Signed books as well!

Screen Shot 2013-11-12 at 10.11.00 AM

And, if you haven’t seen my wife’s Quidditch necklaces, you probably should fix that problem right now.

Screen Shot 2013-11-12 at 10.12.23 AM

Austin, TX Fancy Bastards: I AM COMING FOR YOU! TWICE! You’ll hear more about these events from me in the coming days and weeks, but this is your fair warning that I will be at Wizard World Austin at the Dragon’s Lair Booth (along with Cyanide & Happiness) Nov. 22-24, AND the next month I’ll be returning to Austin for the biggest, baddest, best ever WEBCOMIC RAMPAGE! This year we’ll be in a new facility with longer hours, more panels, a preshow mixer, and a ton of new guests. If you are anywhere in TX, (or guhhhh… Oklahoma) it is so worth the trip.

Woohoo! The end of another storyline! I enjoyed sharing this one, and I hope you Fancy Bastards enjoyed reading it. NOTE TO SELF: In the eventual TV version of this comic, there should be some cool time travel FX between panels 1 and 2. We’ll pencil in a “Quantum Leap” and, if budget allows, upgrade to a “TARDIS noise + LOST sound”which are oddly more expensive due to licensing issues.

COMMENTERS: No boss, no job, no rules, no whatever, what is your favorite “uniform” for feeling absolutely comfortable and/or like yourself? Is it fishing waders? I bet it’s fishing waders.

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Echelon Four · 83 weeks ago

My “no rules” clothes are T-Shirt and boxers. Sweat pants if people are around. I will forever hate the assholes who decided clothes should be fashionable rather than just comfortable.
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BoldlyGettingThere · 83 weeks ago

The alt-text is always like this beautifully absurd, imaginary fifth panel to the comic
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Makoto · 83 weeks ago

Funny, I usually wear socks in my “uniform”, but often not a shirt (especially during the summer)…
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Sckazinski · 83 weeks ago

Just to be nickpicky about this storyline… the characters from the past have 5 fingers in each hand, but the global “fivefingerization” occurred only this year! What the hell?

2 replies · active 83 weeks ago

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daveren · 83 weeks ago

THE BLOOD SEEPED THROUGH TIME AND ALTERED THE PAST!
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hijinksensue· 83 weeks ago

Retroactive time stream ripple effect. Duh. Eventually it will unmake the universe.
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Eric · 83 weeks ago

Kilt. Now that I make my own, I wear them all the time. Can’t wear them at work, so I guess I’ll have to quit.
Fren's avatar

Fren · 83 weeks ago

Same thing I wear to work every day. Jeans, T-shirt, boots, sweat jacket. The job has minor perks.
Dan's avatar

Dan · 83 weeks ago

Jeans, T-shirt, comfortable shoes (sandals, Merrells). Basically what I wore when I did graphic design. Comfortable clothes was definitely a career choice.
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wwlaos · 83 weeks ago

No, you look stinky. Don’t deny it. It’s great that you’re happy and comfortable. Please continue to be both of those things!

But you still look stinky.

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Bill Murphy · 83 weeks ago

I work from home. I’m currently wearing a red t-shirt, grey sweat shorts white socks and blue slippers sitting in a club chair using my laptop. 😉
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stand · 83 weeks ago

Mmmmmmm.. LOST sound”which…

1 reply · active 83 weeks ago

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hijinksensue· 83 weeks ago

HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAH. #welldone
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brigidkeely· 83 weeks ago

I don’t know if you’ve ever seen the classic movie “Father Goose,” but in it social drop out Walter Eckland (Cary Grant) show’s that he’s romantically/sexually interested in a lady by visiting her wearing socks, which he normally doesn’t wear.

I’m a stay at home parent and I live in pyjama/yoga pant and t-shirts, and I own this shit. I have an excruciating skin condition which i will eventually probably go on SSDI for, and the loose breathable clothing I can wear at home all day now is a HUGE help in avoiding pain. Donning jeans and a bra to cart my kid to/from school is a travesty of epic proportions.

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SciFiPup· 83 weeks ago

A smile. There are times I really love being able to work from home on occasion.
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Ali · 83 weeks ago

If I’m alone, nudity is preferable. If there are people, pajama pants and a t-shirt.

1 reply · active 83 weeks ago

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bubujin_2 · 83 weeks ago

That’s my uniform too. Sadly ’tis late fall, the house is inadequately insulated so the natural uniform has been replaced by many layers that include sock, a hooded sweatshirt, and blankets to keep from freezing.
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Wesley · 83 weeks ago

My black fostex pants, magnums and t shirt… Basically the wat I already dress unless I feel like dressing up or there is an occasion that would be better dealt with while suited up. It’s basic practicality really.

If I could mix the practicality with it, my second option would be a kilt.

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TJ “Kiltman”Anderson · 83 weeks ago

I work from home 80% of the time.. I have a couple of Spartan Utilikilts… most comfortable..tthey’re made out of that material basketball shorts are.. only the jiblits aren’tsquishlits.

1 reply · active 83 weeks ago

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TJ “Kiltman”Anderson · 83 weeks ago

And i meant to say is..at home..that’s what i wear.
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lou · 83 weeks ago

I usually don’t bother changing out of my pajamas in the morning, unless I absolutely must leave the house for some reason. If it’s hot enough in the summer, I don’t put on socks at all.
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Wayne · 83 weeks ago

What is this “uniform” and “clothing” you speak of?

Seriously though, I just deblouse, kick the boots off, unclasp the trouser blousing straps, loose the belt, and unzip my digi’s. That, from what I hear, is the equivalent to a woman taking her bra off at the end of a long day.

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Max · 83 weeks ago

So, the surface in the comic… Do you use it to draw?

1 reply · active 83 weeks ago

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Zee · 83 weeks ago

Two things:
Dying your scrubs black would make them deceptively slack-like.
“Stretch jeans”! They are super comfortable.
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njmckay· 83 weeks ago

Hoodie and yoga pants! I love my hoodies, especially the ones i stole from my brother that are too big but nice and roomy.
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Bron · 83 weeks ago

I must say I really want to keep my scrubs when I leave my current hospital, they are like pajamas with pockets (useable pockets I know some pajamas come with pockets but I find they are not good enough to use as pockets (ending pocket rant now)) if I’m working at home I tend to wear a shirt and shorts or t-shirt and shorts, basically shorts are involved in some capacity. Sometimes if I’m doing something messy/dangerous I’ll wear my Howie coat (basically a thick fabricked double breasted lab coat with russian collar, I wear the old ones I used for clinic till they fall apart they are fantastic) and my old disection apron, its an oddly effective outfit for warding off salesmen and Jehovah’s Witnesses……

1 reply · active 83 weeks ago

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Siirenias · 83 weeks ago

I actually blasted half the thigh pockets on my now-deceased scrubs (I had like 4 or 5 pairs) because I tried shoving novels into them. I was an intern at the time; there were hours upon hours of sitting on my massage table, reading.
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Siirenias · 83 weeks ago

I used to wear a lot of scrubs, but they don’t take much abuse.

Now I basically live in my jeans. I favor the ones that I accidentally ripped holes in. They’re my lucky ones.

I also like simple t-shirts, although I don’t find many very comfortable thanks to a neck that is never happy ever with things constricting it.

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hijinksensue· 83 weeks ago

Ive been planning a review for months. It’s a love/hate/hate relationship type of thing. I Love being able to do my job from essentially anywhere at anytime and I hate/hate pretty much everything else about it.
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manbeardman · 83 weeks ago

i have a pair of pajama pants for every day
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earlleonardmusicforkids· 83 weeks ago

While i have re-adjusted my particular `experiment’ to involve becoming a primary teacher, i always enjoy seeing how parallel our lives are in some ways (went from being an accountant to a children’s musician – but the `come home angry one too many times cursing the tie until my wife, who is also an artist of some kind, encouraged me to do something i really enjoy because fulfilment and being a good roll-model for our child is more important than being a provider of money only. Even our beards are similar).

My `work uniform’ is most often a mad hatter/willy wonker/dr who looking outfit, which is only slightly more outlandish than how i used to and still dress in my downtime away from the office anyway. (octopus, pirate, and super-hero costumes also get a regular look in).

3 years ago when he saw me dressed as the Monkey king early one morning, my son kind of freaked out. 2 months ago when he (and his little sister) saw me dressed as Brer Rabbit early in the morning they both just said: `have a good gig, Dad’ 🙂

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King Zilch· 83 weeks ago

To me, the flashback/forward read like one of the cool transitions from Highlander, or those ones from Watchmen that Zack Snyder didn’t seem to notice.

1 reply · active 83 weeks ago

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Kaidah · 83 weeks ago

The at home uniform is boxer shorts or pajama pants with an old t-shirt. I work too hard all day to stay dressed up afterwards. Hell, I don’t even shave on weekends (What am I, the Pope?). If I worked from home like you, my facial hair would most likely be somewhere between Zach Galifianakis and ZZ Top by now.
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mist · 83 weeks ago

…feeling cheated…

…where are the monkeys and robots?

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tomspeelman· 82 weeks ago

Grey athletic t-shirts like you see people wear at the gym. I can’t fathom why, but they make me feel really comfortable; I put one of those on and just feel like eating a sandwich with lots of mustard.

Course Correction

My store has some new signed prints and signed posters you should entirely check out. Signed books as well!

Screen Shot 2013-11-12 at 10.11.00 AM

And, if you haven’t seen my wife’s Quidditch necklaces, you probably should fix that problem right now.

Screen Shot 2013-11-12 at 10.12.23 AM

Austin, TX Fancy Bastards: I AM COMING FOR YOU! TWICE! You’ll hear more about these events from me in the coming days and weeks, but this is your fair warning that I will be at Wizard World Austin at the Dragon’s Lair Booth (along with Cyanide & Happiness) Nov. 22-24, AND the next month I’ll be returning to Austin for the biggest, baddest, best ever WEBCOMIC RAMPAGE! This year we’ll be in a new facility with longer hours, more panels, a preshow mixer, and a ton of new guests. If you are anywhere in TX, (or guhhhh… Oklahoma) it is so worth the trip.

So this flashback is (essentially, basically, almost entirely) over. So far we’ve seen the events that led Joel to become an artist and the event that led him to start trying to make it as an artist full time (SPOILERS: It works out pretty OK), but nothing in between. We’ll get to the meat and cheese of this (as of yet) all bread personal triumph sandwich eventually. Now it’s time to get back to the present. I haven’t drawn Josh or Eli in a good while.

COMMENTERS: If you have kids or even younger siblings, did you rush to fix/change something about yourself before that new person arrived? 

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Nacho· 83 weeks ago

Right in the feels.
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superponte· 83 weeks ago

remember when this comic was funny?

7 replies · active 83 weeks ago

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Makoto · 83 weeks ago

Like.. today? Especially with the alt text. Feels and funny, all in one.
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Mason · 83 weeks ago

Dammit, I’ve been reading this comic for like a year and never realized there was alt text. There goes the rest of day.
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hijinksensue· 83 weeks ago

It only goes back to late 2009 or early 2010. I might go back and add it to all of the previous comics though.
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hijinksensue· 83 weeks ago

Blocking you for being an asshole and contributing to the decline of politeness and common decency in online discourse, but leaving this comment here so people can see that typical “YouTube comment” douchebaggery is a zero tolerance offense.
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Audrey Matthews · 83 weeks ago

THIS. 100% THIS. You are my internet hero, Joel.
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lou · 83 weeks ago

Sock it to ‘im, Joel! This is Hijinks Ensue, we have character here!
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SciFiPup· 83 weeks ago

Occasionally the characters need restraining orders or bacon detox, but we have it.
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Protective Sibling · 83 weeks ago

I got my mother out of an abusive marriage to save my baby sister, I was around 14-15 at the time. Didn’t really care about saving myself by that point, but my sister had her whole life ahead of her, I wanted to make sure she’d never go through what I did.

I suppose I did a brave thing, but I didn’t save us, my sister did. I never would have spoken out if I hadn’t had someone to save.

1 reply · active 83 weeks ago

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hijinksensue· 83 weeks ago

Good on you. I paid for my mom’s divorce since that was her last excuse for not leaving my drug addict father.
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adamsak· 83 weeks ago

HOLY CRAP. Didn’t notice the color started seeping back in. I’m like a lobster getting cooked by art and not even noticing until I’m engulfed in a rainbow of boiling colors.
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hijinksensue· 83 weeks ago

Hey, at least the first kid has gills.
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Bill Murphy · 83 weeks ago

When I was a kid I used to clean my bedroom before my Grandmother came to visit.
Does that count? 😉
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Paul1963 · 83 weeks ago

Holy crap, Joel, you have the best wife in the world. That last panel is really moving.

1 reply · active 83 weeks ago

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hijinksensue· 83 weeks ago

Thanks! She’s pretty much been that way the entire time. She never once really told me, “Maybe this won’t work,” or “maybe you should go get a job.” All she’s ever really said after I told her a crazy plan was more akin to “OK, what do you need from me?” She’s amazing.
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Conrado · 83 weeks ago

Damn you Joel!! Right in the feels!! And I’m at the office, and they are not supposed to know I’m human!!! I will not cry!! I will not cry!!
On a serious note: I can really connect with this. My two children have made me do things I never thought were possible for me… And I’m a better person for it, and for them…I know the feeling…
Damn feels!! Go’way!!! Not till 6pm!!!
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lou · 83 weeks ago

NNNNgg, so many feels! Must…not…cry…
OK Joel, you have the best wife EVAR!!! She’s got your back 24/7!

I cannot say I willingly changed any of my habits or aspects of my personality for anyone. If anything, the birth of my brother when I was 3 brought out something new. Then again, I cannot remember most of my early childhood anyway.

Oh! Wait! I just remembered, my mom finally quit smoking when I was in high school.

And we eagerly await the Robot Monkeys with Laser-guided Banana Cannons.

1 reply · active 83 weeks ago

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n00less cluebie · 83 weeks ago

+1

HE + Robot Monkeys with Laser-guided Banana Cannons = Shiny Goodness
Get on it.

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Kaidah · 83 weeks ago

Finding out my (now ex-) wife was pregnant was the main reason I ended up switching to the job I have now. Finding out she was pregnant again prompted me to move to another, better company in the same field. It’s amazing how something as small as a baby can have such a large effect on your ability to get your shit together.

DDS Attack

My store has some new signed prints and signed posters you should entirely check out. Signed books as well!

This comic is sort of a  pre-follow up to THIS comic. I used to be really ashamed to tell people what I did for a living, even though it provided my wife and I with a bunch of money and all the material attributes of “success.” Now that I have what is, for me, the perfect job, I rarely want to talk about it with strangers because I feel like it requires an hour long lesson or backstory in order to comprehend it.

Anyway, that’s basically my intent for the flashback comics: To show how Joel’s life pre and post “Experiment” parallels even when it drastically contrasts. I was always the type to think, “I can escape this problem IF I can get a new job/move to a new place/make new friends/etc.” Adulthood and parenthood and Leprechaun: In The Hood have taught me that I bring most of my problems with me wherever I go. They are literally inside me; inside my brain. I cannot outrun them any more than I can outrun the contents of my own skull. Stupid brain. Always full of conflicted thoughts about stupid stuff.

Funny story: I wrote this comic, laid out the text and sketched all the way to the last panel before realizing that smartphones didn’t exist back then. The idea that I would reach into my pocket and Google something is so ubiquitous now that I completely forgot that there was a time in my adult life when I was unable to do that. I decided to settle on comic Joel owning a pre-smartphone (a Palm Tre0 650), which did have basic internetting and emailing and such. In reality, at this time I believe I would have had a Motorola Razr, the semi-functional fashion statement of mid 00’s mobile communication. Before that I did own a couple of rather pricey Symbian OS phones that had access to a mobile-friendly, text only version of the internet via Edge or sub-Edge speeds. Looking up ANYTHING AT ALL via these devices was an exercise in self loathing.

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TJ “Kiltman”Anderson · 84 weeks ago

Was googling even a thing? Alta vista or maybe yahoo? Heh… technology..There was a lot more ohh gee back then.. my first palm pilot was a signing gift for a sizable advertisement in the …get this… Yellow pages..
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Stranger · 84 weeks ago

Would that last one be dentists who exclusively works on MMA fighters, or dentists moonlighting as MMA fighters?

3 replies · active 84 weeks ago

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hijinksensue· 84 weeks ago

Yes.
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Casually Employed· 84 weeks ago

I’m enjoying this storyline. It’s really hitting home.
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Nacho· 84 weeks ago

Joel, I love the new direction. I look forward to each new comic. I appreciate that you are “exposing” more of your personal life in comic form and with pics of your family life. That can be a tough call to make but I believe you are doing it well.

Also, that’s a Treo isnt’ it? Yeah.. I’m suddenly nostalgic for a resistive touch screen and super-slow mobile internet. Good times…

5 replies · active 84 weeks ago

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hijinksensue· 84 weeks ago

Thanks! That is a Treo. I never really owned one personally, but my boss did. I remember the 600 being a total piece of shit, the 650 being marginally better, then the 700 blowing it out of the water. Then the iPhone bankrupted palm. All within like 3 years.
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Tim from Radio Clash · 84 weeks ago

I owned…and still own…a Sony p990i. Probably be a museum piece soon…and yes I was sloooooooooow but I used to browse and email with it. It’s why I never understood the Samsung vs Apple vs The World patent war when it’s obvious touchscreen phones with apps were around pre-all that.

My habit of copying all posts before sending comes from that – quite often you’d lose *everything* when the post failed. Still do it today… even on Wifi. Don’t truss it.

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hijinksensue· 84 weeks ago

Apple’s patent war with Samsung was over the concept of “multitouch,” not just touching a screen. Specifically pinching to zoom, swiping, 2,3 and 4 finger gestures, etc.
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timbearcub· 84 weeks ago

That wasn’t all they sued over, just what stuck. You’re talking about the States only – Apple and Samsung (and Google for that matter) sued and countersued all over the world, including Europe. Some of the ‘look and feel’ patent legals did cover stuff that I’m pretty sure was prior art – ‘square phone with rounded edges?’, apps, touchscreen, etc. Thankfully most of these were thrown out, because they were pretty silly, apart from the US oddly. But it did mean sometimes the imports were stopped, which I’m guessing was the main reason.
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samldanach· 84 weeks ago

Hmm. MMA dentists? Pretty cool.

Still not as cool as pay-per-view nun fights, though.

1 reply · active 84 weeks ago

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Lurkie · 84 weeks ago

YES! I had not only a Treo, but it’s predecessor, a Handspring (which was basically a palm pilot in pretty colors with an expansion slot I could never afford to insert anything into).

1 reply · active 84 weeks ago

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hijinksensue· 84 weeks ago

I thought Handspring was the coolest thing in the world. I loved the Springboard concept. I actually owned one WELL after they were obsolete. I got it for free when cleaning out an old boss’s junk storage unit. I was going to hook it up to an old PC and use it to control WinAmp via serial cable. Never got around to actually doing that project though. I had hoped to put it in a car, but iPods came out almost immediately and made that plan obsolete.
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Cate · 84 weeks ago

Question, I really like the new direction of the comic as well, but I noticed something. I’m not sure if its because its a “Flashback” or if its part of the change in art style, but it seems a lot more Pastel heavy than before? Hoping its just for the flashbacks, because for some reason it kinda hurts my eyes a little. Just my two cents, will still keep reading and supporting regardless! Keep doing what you love Joel!

2 replies · active 84 weeks ago

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Lurkie · 84 weeks ago

Yes, Joel has said that the pastel look is part of the flashback.
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hijinksensue· 84 weeks ago

The washed out colors denote a flashback, since I only post how long ago it was in the first comic of the flashback. When the full colors come back, you’ll know it’s present day.
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Stephen · 84 weeks ago

When I was in Jr. High, my dad got me a Palm Zire 21, because he had used Palm devices for a couple years and I thought they were the coolest thing ever. No internet, no mp3 player, nothing that I even needed as a Jr High kid. I think I had a Bible application on it that I used in Bible class. And I had games on it. And it was awesome. Now, only 10(ish) years later I have an iPhone 5s that scans my fingerprint every time I unlock it and can browse the internet faster than my home internet could back then. I love technology.
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FuryOfFirestorm· 84 weeks ago

Love the facial expressions in this comic. Keep up the awesome work, Joel!

PS – I’d love to see other flashback storylines, like when you first met Josh and Eli, your first date with Emily, when you found out you were going to be a dad, etc. The stuff you mentioned about your strict religious upbringing sounds like it would be interesting.

1 reply · active 84 weeks ago

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hijinksensue· 84 weeks ago

I plan to keep the flashbacks as an ongoing thing. Im sure we’ll get to some of that stuff as the story progresses.
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Dave · 84 weeks ago

My bank changed its website recently. It was a major overhaul, and we had to have all our bill payments entered by some date, or wait until the new system was up a week later. Sure enough, on the day after the deadline I remembered that I had some one-off bill sitting around. For a good while I thought, “What the hell am I going to do? It’s due the day after the new system is up.” Actually, I went to the biller’s site to pay it before I remembered that I can write a check and mail it in with the forever stamps collecting dust on my desk (and thank God for them, I had to buy 3 sets of 1-2 cent stamps before I used up the last of the stamps that had a fixed value).
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Bron · 84 weeks ago

I think I must be a bit of a luddite (actually if you read up on them an interesting group who were not actually technophobic they just really hated the people who were screwing them over who happened to own mills) becuase I haven’t actually got to the point where the internet is completely indespencible to my life.

I only recently got a smart phone and eventually gave up on using the internet features as I found them slow and awkward, I now use it as a phone/contact book/clock/texting device much like I used my old nokia. I actually plan to downgrade when it dies as I find the lower battery life especially annoying. This phone cost me $125 Sing while my old one cost 4.99 GBP and came with a 15 GBP top up (basically they gave me 10 GBP of service to take it away), I remember being excited because it had a colour display….

2 replies · active 84 weeks ago

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hijinksensue· 84 weeks ago

I feel like, for me, instant access to all of the knowledge in the world and constant contact with my friends/family/fans/etc enriches my life. If you don’t feel the same way, then perhaps you aren’t missing anything.
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Bron · 84 weeks ago

Thank you for the reply.

That is the thing, I feel sometimes like all of this would just make my life so much better but that the technology is both too high in cost and too awkward to use. I’m not sure if it is because I have my experience of the internet through computers is just so different to the mobile internet that it just throws me off. My family were early adopters of the PC and later the Internet and because I touch type (I’m dyspraxic so I’ve used computers for pretty much all written communication since I was about 10 due to my cack handedness) I just find that with the keyboard its pretty much like a direct link between my brain and the internet. With mobile devices (especially those with a touch screen) it just feels odd and alien and very clunky and slow. I’m not sure if I’d be right with you if I’d been on this journey from the start rather then coming in part way through. I hope that when Singapore comes out with this free wireless network they’ve been talking about I can get a cheap iPad or something and join you guys in the better future that seems to be coming.

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Candace · 84 weeks ago

Nice catch on the Palm Treo. I used to have a Palm Pilot, which I loved, and a Fujitsu pseudo flip phone, which was a piece of junk. (I had major Motorola flip-phone envy. So Star Trek.) I was so happy when Palm came out with the Treo, so I could have my PDA and smartphone all in one.

Of course you’re right, Apple trumped Palm with the iPhone, which I can’t live without. (Or at least, wouldn’t enjoy having to do without.) I have a terrible memory, and used to have to carry a purse calendar and pen with me everywhere so I could record and keep track of my appointments, etc.. Of course, I still had to exert the mental discipline to remember to record every appointment when I made it, and look at my calendar every day.

Nowadays, if I can just remember to get the appointment into my iPhone calendar in the first place, the phone does the rest for me. So much easier, and far fewer missed appointments. And if you break your phone, you can just go to an Apple store and get a new one. How cool is that?! (And I don’t have to carry paper around anymore!) The future is now, and it’s great! (Well, mostly.)

1 reply · active 84 weeks ago

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hijinksensue· 84 weeks ago

i do the same thing. I free up so much space and so many mental cycles in my brainspace by only having to remember “Check your todo list often” instead of the 400 individual things on said list.
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DuckAmuck · 84 weeks ago

Graphic Designer… for dentists.
Dishwasher… for dentists.
Veterinarian… for dentists.

Now it’s starting to sound like a save the dentist charity.

1 reply · active 84 weeks ago

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lou · 84 weeks ago

Now all it needs is a commercial with Sarah McClachlan in it.
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Kaidah · 71 weeks ago

Hey, my uncle and cousins are dentists and they’re pretty fun. Or maybe it’s just all the cool stuff they bought with their dentist money that’s fun. At any rate, the parties they throw are definitely fun. 🙂

Fun fact: When I was a kid I used to think my uncle had a Scrooge McDuck type vault hidden the basement of his house (which is three times the size of mine btw) because he was rich (well, richer than us anyway) and in my addled kid logic all rich people had huge vaults for thier money. Discovering the reality of stock portfolios and retirement funds was a huge diappointment.

The Clothes Make The Man Miserable

I tend to monologue a lot. Another word for what I do would be “rant.” I am uncommonly good at preparing a lengthy series of complaints with little provocation and no preparation. It comes from having a good memory. I can quickly recall all the things that make me mad about something without having to dig around for the anger. My gripes are stored in RAM, as it were. That isn’t to say I’m an angry person. Far from it. I’m just good at rattling off the particulars of what I don’t like about stuff, people, etc. I’m also pretty good at quickly and succinctly enunciating what I like about something, but I tend to do it with less loudness and hand gestures.

 When I was a young man, a teen even (guh… TEEENS!) this skill made me quite adept at arguing. Rather, it made me good at seeming like I had won arguments when, in fact, I had simply managed to speak more confidently and for a longer period of time without confusion or exhaustion than my opponent. Since then, I’ve tried to truncate my rants (positive and negative) with a rule I learned from Seinfeld. Go out on a high note. When you get the big laugh say, “Goodnight everybody” and show yourself offstage. When explaining, ranting, whatevering the moment I get my point across and the audience seems to be receptive and understanding (if not amused), I try my best to shut up. I fail at this a lot on interviews, but I am trying to get better. I am endeavoring to use words more as a precision instrument than a melee weapon.

COMMENTERS: Are you a ranter? What gets your a-rantin’ a-goin’? Do you have to DEAL with a ranter on a regular basis? How do you cope?

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Stranger · 84 weeks ago

I know that feeling, I havent even worn a shirt with buttons for over a decade. Yeah, I know I look like a vagrant, but I dont care.
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daveren · 84 weeks ago

I don’t think you’re getting the point.
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Steve · 84 weeks ago

Buzz, meet Bennettbf. Bennettbf, meet Buzz…oh. Wait. You’ve met. Bennettbf, please take your knife out of Buzz’s throat. No, don’t twist…don’t TWIST–dammit. Now you’ve killed it. You’ve killed our Buzz, Bennettbf. Killed it deader’n’disco.
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nate · 84 weeks ago

Steve I just need to say “Killed it deader’n’disco.” made my day thank you sir.
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Ali · 84 weeks ago

I wish it were more expected for both sexes to wear ties. I have a lot of cool ties that I never really have an excuse to wear, unless I’m crossplaying, and even then only one or two of them really fit into the costumes.

3 replies · active 84 weeks ago

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hijinksensue· 84 weeks ago

Wear ’em. Go for it. Why not?
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Ali · 84 weeks ago

I wish I could, but my job has separate dress codes for men and women, and I’d be written up for breaking it…and I wish I were in a place in life where I could afford to quit my job and find one that would let me wear what I wanted, but I’m not.
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Bill Murphy · 84 weeks ago

Aww… Joel wasn’t in a happy place back then.
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Rikonius · 84 weeks ago

Ugh… Ties are the worst. I absolutely hated the rare occasions I had to wear one.

BTW, I don’t know if you’re familiar with Lewis Grizzard, but you’d probably appreciate his sentiments on neckties (http://grittree.wordpress.com/category/lewis/page/6/)
“Ties are detrimental to men’s health. Men who have to wear ties all the time tend to be terribly highstrung and nervous because they’ve got this piece of cloth strung tightly around their necks. It’s ties, not cholesterol, that cause most heart attacks and strokes.
Also, besides being terribly uncomfortable and unhealthy, it is a known fact that wearing a tie eventually leads to baldness. The tie hinders the circulation to the scalp and that’s why men’s hair falls out.
You don’t see that many bald-headed women, do you? Of course not. That’s because they don’t wear ties.”

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TJ “Kiltman” · 84 weeks ago

On kilts, or another reason I wear kilts.

Feb 25, 2009

i’ll probably post this as a blog as well..

from a strictly fashion stand point … go take a look at a “business suit” some time.. just online or next time you’re watchin the news … what a SILLY looking IMPRACTICAL costume.

ever watch historcal fictional movies .. ? men used to wear stockings.. and knickers .. and gawdy hats with feathers ?
how much different is todays suit… with starch collars, buttons /cufflinks on the sleeves .. “double breasted” (what are those silly flaps for?? ) jackets with SHOULDER PADS?!?!? (what they gonna do play football on lunch???) pleats in the front of their pants that makes it look like they’re sportin a Woodrow when they sit down.. which makes their pants ride up their legs so we can see their STUPID feminine patterned socks and ultra fem leather shoes with…TASSLES!! on a shoe.. tassles… really..
tassles??

…. oh and the tie… A TIE??? its a bloody sewn scarf that serves no purpose other than to get caught in some machine and pull you in to your gruesome death, or just to choke you while you bend over to pick up that TPS report .. in a reminder.. that you are nothing more than a corporate slave…

or maybe the tie is a “gift” by the corporate masters.. the last bit of free speech left in the glum corporate servititude, where you can show some (but not too much) personality by wearing unique ties.. that serve no purpose other than the occasional “ohh nice tie” from people wishing they had enough balls to even wear a different tie..

i once was asked by three guys in suits at a restaurant “whats the costume for” refering to my Utilikilt… i kinda looked at the guy… looked at his two buddies.. gave a big smile and said “i’d say lookin at the three of you.. that YOU are in the costumes, i happen to be completely comfortable.” passed out a few utilikilt business cards and went on my way..

and then womens corporate fashion?? two words…HILLARY CLINTON . nuff said. **shudders** make that image go away mommy peeeeeeeeeeeesh??? its scary!!

TJ "Kiltman"Anderson's avatar

TJ “Kiltman”Anderson · 84 weeks ago

Feb 25, 2009

from a strictly fashion stand point … go take a look at a “business suit” some time.. just online or next time you’re watchin the news … what a SILLY looking IMPRACTICAL costume.

ever watch historcal fictional movies .. ? men used to wear stockings.. and knickers .. and gawdy hats with feathers ?
how much different is todays suit… with starch collars, buttons /cufflinks on the sleeves .. “double breasted” (what are those silly flaps for?? ) jackets with SHOULDER PADS?!?!? (what they gonna do play football on lunch???) pleats in the front of their pants that makes it look like they’re sportin a Woodrow when they sit down.. which makes their pants ride up their legs so we can see their STUPID feminine patterned socks and ultra fem leather shoes with…TASSLES!! on a shoe.. tassles… really..
tassles??

…. oh and the tie… A TIE??? its a bloody sewn scarf that serves no purpose other than to get caught in some machine and pull you in to your gruesome death, or just to choke you while you bend over to pick up that TPS report .. in a reminder.. that you are nothing more than a corporate slave…

or maybe the tie is a “gift” by the corporate masters.. the last bit of free speech left in the glum corporate servititude, where you can show some (but not too much) personality by wearing unique ties.. that serve no purpose other than the occasional “ohh nice tie” from people wishing they had enough balls to even wear a different tie..

i once was asked by three guys in suits at a restaurant “whats the costume for” refering to my Utilikilt… i kinda looked at the guy… looked at his two buddies.. gave a big smile and said “i’d say lookin at the three of you.. that YOU are in the costumes, i happen to be completely comfortable.” passed out a few utilikilt business cards and went on my way..

and then womens corporate fashion?? two words…HILLARY CLINTON . nuff said. **shudders** make that image go away mommy peeeeeeeeeeeesh??? its scary!!

1 reply · active 84 weeks ago

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The Unknown FB · 84 weeks ago

But don’t forget…you’ll get smacked at some places if you go too far in showing your personality with “unique” tie/shirt/sock colors.
Even though men have a bit more leeway in colors/patterns, you still get the CorpConformO prog running in certain places.

For myself, I’m not allowed to wear “golf shirts” (what my GM terms polo shirts) or any dress pant with a cargo pocket on it, or any non-businessy shoe. Might upset a FASHION CLIENT to see someone male not dressed as a faux banker up in their building.

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echo · 84 weeks ago

Don’t know if you intended to make a deep and moving comic, but it was.

1 reply · active 84 weeks ago

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hijinksensue· 84 weeks ago

Hey thanks! I really didn’t know how to end this comic until the last minute.
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eviljimmy · 84 weeks ago

HATE – ties.

Neck prisons indeed 🙂

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Dean · 84 weeks ago

I kind of like wearing a tie to work. It makes me feel more professional.
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FuryOfFirestorm· 84 weeks ago

I hate ties, and I hate suits. I can’t stand reading GQ because they act like suits are the end-all be-all of fashion.

1 reply · active 84 weeks ago

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The Unknown FB · 84 weeks ago

Same with Details magazine, many times. They at least do a mix of other types of clothes, but frequently it’s “mix your suit pants/jacket with your weekend wear”.
Um, no…and then explain to me why I subscribe to you again?
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harusnajinski· 84 weeks ago

This strip got me right in the feels
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Bruceski · 84 weeks ago

I rant for two things: abuse of statistics (common in TV media and there outta be a crime for saying “a study has found that…” laundering something that is so flawed and deliberately skewed that should the “studier” have submitted it to an actual journal they would have been shot, so they just posted it on the internet) and bad salsa. The latter comes in two flavors: a bowl full of water somebody tossed a bit of onion and tomato in or going full-on capsasin without any interest in flavor. A good salsa blends flavor with heat and can come out any temperature. For example contrast Pace medium (a pretty good one even if proper snobs sneer at getting something so generic) with their hot (nothing but pepper seeds, basicly a hot sauce instead of a salsa).
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DuckAmuck · 84 weeks ago

My biggest hot-button is Disney. Seriously, don’t get me started on my Disney rant. And the rant just keeps growing now that everything I USED to have as evidence of “better than Disney” is now OWNED BY DISNEY! There’s no escape.

I come from a long line of ranters. The winner is usually the one who is willing to NOT rant.

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StephR · 84 weeks ago

Ties are just a flaccid penis pointing down to your real one.