comic-2013-11-13-dressed-for-success.jpg

Dressed For Success

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My store has some new signed prints and signed posters you should entirely check out. Signed books as well!

Screen Shot 2013-11-12 at 10.11.00 AM

And, if you haven’t seen my wife’s Quidditch necklaces, you probably should fix that problem right now.

Screen Shot 2013-11-12 at 10.12.23 AM

Austin, TX Fancy Bastards: I AM COMING FOR YOU! TWICE! You’ll hear more about these events from me in the coming days and weeks, but this is your fair warning that I will be at Wizard World Austin at the Dragon’s Lair Booth (along with Cyanide & Happiness) Nov. 22-24, AND the next month I’ll be returning to Austin for the biggest, baddest, best ever WEBCOMIC RAMPAGE! This year we’ll be in a new facility with longer hours, more panels, a preshow mixer, and a ton of new guests. If you are anywhere in TX, (or guhhhh… Oklahoma) it is so worth the trip.

Woohoo! The end of another storylineI enjoyed sharing this one, and I hope you Fancy Bastards enjoyed reading it. NOTE TO SELF: In the eventual TV version of this comic, there should be some cool time travel FX between panels 1 and 2. We’ll pencil in a “Quantum Leap” and, if budget allows, upgrade to a “TARDIS noise + LOST sound”which are oddly more expensive due to licensing issues.

COMMENTERS: No boss, no job, no rules, no whatever, what is your favorite “uniform” for feeling absolutely comfortable and/or like yourself? Is it fishing waders? I bet it’s fishing waders.

Comments (42)

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Echelon Four's avatar

Echelon Four · 83 weeks ago

My “no rules” clothes are T-Shirt and boxers. Sweat pants if people are around. I will forever hate the assholes who decided clothes should be fashionable rather than just comfortable.
BoldlyGettingThere's avatar

BoldlyGettingThere · 83 weeks ago

The alt-text is always like this beautifully absurd, imaginary fifth panel to the comic
Makoto's avatar

Makoto · 83 weeks ago

Funny, I usually wear socks in my “uniform”, but often not a shirt (especially during the summer)…
Sckazinski's avatar

Sckazinski · 83 weeks ago

Just to be nickpicky about this storyline… the characters from the past have 5 fingers in each hand, but the global “fivefingerization” occurred only this year! What the hell?

2 replies · active 83 weeks ago

daveren's avatar

daveren · 83 weeks ago

THE BLOOD SEEPED THROUGH TIME AND ALTERED THE PAST!
Retroactive time stream ripple effect. Duh. Eventually it will unmake the universe.
Eric's avatar

Eric · 83 weeks ago

Kilt. Now that I make my own, I wear them all the time. Can’t wear them at work, so I guess I’ll have to quit.
Fren's avatar

Fren · 83 weeks ago

Same thing I wear to work every day. Jeans, T-shirt, boots, sweat jacket. The job has minor perks.
Dan's avatar

Dan · 83 weeks ago

Jeans, T-shirt, comfortable shoes (sandals, Merrells). Basically what I wore when I did graphic design. Comfortable clothes was definitely a career choice.
wwlaos's avatar

wwlaos · 83 weeks ago

No, you look stinky. Don’t deny it. It’s great that you’re happy and comfortable. Please continue to be both of those things!

But you still look stinky.

I work from home. I’m currently wearing a red t-shirt, grey sweat shorts white socks and blue slippers sitting in a club chair using my laptop. 😉
stand's avatar

stand · 83 weeks ago

Mmmmmmm.. LOST sound”which…

1 reply · active 83 weeks ago

HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAH. #welldone
I don’t know if you’ve ever seen the classic movie “Father Goose,” but in it social drop out Walter Eckland (Cary Grant) show’s that he’s romantically/sexually interested in a lady by visiting her wearing socks, which he normally doesn’t wear.

I’m a stay at home parent and I live in pyjama/yoga pant and t-shirts, and I own this shit. I have an excruciating skin condition which i will eventually probably go on SSDI for, and the loose breathable clothing I can wear at home all day now is a HUGE help in avoiding pain. Donning jeans and a bra to cart my kid to/from school is a travesty of epic proportions.

A smile. There are times I really love being able to work from home on occasion.
Ali's avatar

Ali · 83 weeks ago

If I’m alone, nudity is preferable. If there are people, pajama pants and a t-shirt.

1 reply · active 83 weeks ago

bubujin_2's avatar

bubujin_2 · 83 weeks ago

That’s my uniform too. Sadly ’tis late fall, the house is inadequately insulated so the natural uniform has been replaced by many layers that include sock, a hooded sweatshirt, and blankets to keep from freezing.
Wesley 's avatar

Wesley · 83 weeks ago

My black fostex pants, magnums and t shirt… Basically the wat I already dress unless I feel like dressing up or there is an occasion that would be better dealt with while suited up. It’s basic practicality really.

If I could mix the practicality with it, my second option would be a kilt.

TJ "Kiltman"Anderson's avatar

TJ “Kiltman”Anderson · 83 weeks ago

I work from home 80% of the time.. I have a couple of Spartan Utilikilts… most comfortable..tthey’re made out of that material basketball shorts are.. only the jiblits aren’tsquishlits.

1 reply · active 83 weeks ago

TJ "Kiltman"Anderson's avatar

TJ “Kiltman”Anderson · 83 weeks ago

And i meant to say is..at home..that’s what i wear.
lou's avatar

lou · 83 weeks ago

I usually don’t bother changing out of my pajamas in the morning, unless I absolutely must leave the house for some reason. If it’s hot enough in the summer, I don’t put on socks at all.
Wayne's avatar

Wayne · 83 weeks ago

What is this “uniform” and “clothing” you speak of?

Seriously though, I just deblouse, kick the boots off, unclasp the trouser blousing straps, loose the belt, and unzip my digi’s. That, from what I hear, is the equivalent to a woman taking her bra off at the end of a long day.

Max 's avatar

Max · 83 weeks ago

So, the surface in the comic… Do you use it to draw?

1 reply · active 83 weeks ago

Zee's avatar

Zee · 83 weeks ago

Two things:
Dying your scrubs black would make them deceptively slack-like.
“Stretch jeans”! They are super comfortable.
Hoodie and yoga pants! I love my hoodies, especially the ones i stole from my brother that are too big but nice and roomy.
Bron's avatar

Bron · 83 weeks ago

I must say I really want to keep my scrubs when I leave my current hospital, they are like pajamas with pockets (useable pockets I know some pajamas come with pockets but I find they are not good enough to use as pockets (ending pocket rant now)) if I’m working at home I tend to wear a shirt and shorts or t-shirt and shorts, basically shorts are involved in some capacity. Sometimes if I’m doing something messy/dangerous I’ll wear my Howie coat (basically a thick fabricked double breasted lab coat with russian collar, I wear the old ones I used for clinic till they fall apart they are fantastic) and my old disection apron, its an oddly effective outfit for warding off salesmen and Jehovah’s Witnesses……

1 reply · active 83 weeks ago

I actually blasted half the thigh pockets on my now-deceased scrubs (I had like 4 or 5 pairs) because I tried shoving novels into them. I was an intern at the time; there were hours upon hours of sitting on my massage table, reading.
I used to wear a lot of scrubs, but they don’t take much abuse.

Now I basically live in my jeans. I favor the ones that I accidentally ripped holes in. They’re my lucky ones.

I also like simple t-shirts, although I don’t find many very comfortable thanks to a neck that is never happy ever with things constricting it.

Ive been planning a review for months. It’s a love/hate/hate relationship type of thing. I Love being able to do my job from essentially anywhere at anytime and I hate/hate pretty much everything else about it.
manbeardman's avatar

manbeardman · 83 weeks ago

i have a pair of pajama pants for every day
While i have re-adjusted my particular `experiment’ to involve becoming a primary teacher, i always enjoy seeing how parallel our lives are in some ways (went from being an accountant to a children’s musician – but the `come home angry one too many times cursing the tie until my wife, who is also an artist of some kind, encouraged me to do something i really enjoy because fulfilment and being a good roll-model for our child is more important than being a provider of money only. Even our beards are similar).

My `work uniform’ is most often a mad hatter/willy wonker/dr who looking outfit, which is only slightly more outlandish than how i used to and still dress in my downtime away from the office anyway. (octopus, pirate, and super-hero costumes also get a regular look in).

3 years ago when he saw me dressed as the Monkey king early one morning, my son kind of freaked out. 2 months ago when he (and his little sister) saw me dressed as Brer Rabbit early in the morning they both just said: `have a good gig, Dad’ 🙂

To me, the flashback/forward read like one of the cool transitions from Highlander, or those ones from Watchmen that Zack Snyder didn’t seem to notice.

1 reply · active 83 weeks ago

Kaidah's avatar

Kaidah · 83 weeks ago

The at home uniform is boxer shorts or pajama pants with an old t-shirt. I work too hard all day to stay dressed up afterwards. Hell, I don’t even shave on weekends (What am I, the Pope?). If I worked from home like you, my facial hair would most likely be somewhere between Zach Galifianakis and ZZ Top by now.
mist's avatar

mist · 83 weeks ago

…feeling cheated…

…where are the monkeys and robots?

Grey athletic t-shirts like you see people wear at the gym. I can’t fathom why, but they make me feel really comfortable; I put one of those on and just feel like eating a sandwich with lots of mustard.
comic-2013-11-11-course-correction.jpg

Course Correction

comic-2013-11-11-course-correction.jpg

My store has some new signed prints and signed posters you should entirely check out. Signed books as well!

Screen Shot 2013-11-12 at 10.11.00 AM

And, if you haven’t seen my wife’s Quidditch necklaces, you probably should fix that problem right now.

Screen Shot 2013-11-12 at 10.12.23 AM

Austin, TX Fancy Bastards: I AM COMING FOR YOU! TWICE! You’ll hear more about these events from me in the coming days and weeks, but this is your fair warning that I will be at Wizard World Austin at the Dragon’s Lair Booth (along with Cyanide & Happiness) Nov. 22-24, AND the next month I’ll be returning to Austin for the biggest, baddest, best ever WEBCOMIC RAMPAGE! This year we’ll be in a new facility with longer hours, more panels, a preshow mixer, and a ton of new guests. If you are anywhere in TX, (or guhhhh… Oklahoma) it is so worth the trip.

So this flashback is (essentially, basically, almost entirely) over. So far we’ve seen the events that led Joel to become an artist and the event that led him to start trying to make it as an artist full time (SPOILERS: It works out pretty OK), but nothing in between. We’ll get to the meat and cheese of this (as of yet) all bread personal triumph sandwich eventually. Now it’s time to get back to the present. I haven’t drawn Josh or Eli in a good while.

COMMENTERS: If you have kids or even younger siblings, did you rush to fix/change something about yourself before that new person arrived? 

Comments (27)

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Right in the feels.
remember when this comic was funny?

7 replies · active 83 weeks ago

Makoto's avatar

Makoto · 83 weeks ago

Like.. today? Especially with the alt text. Feels and funny, all in one.
Mason's avatar

Mason · 83 weeks ago

Dammit, I’ve been reading this comic for like a year and never realized there was alt text. There goes the rest of day.
It only goes back to late 2009 or early 2010. I might go back and add it to all of the previous comics though.
Blocking you for being an asshole and contributing to the decline of politeness and common decency in online discourse, but leaving this comment here so people can see that typical “YouTube comment” douchebaggery is a zero tolerance offense.
Audrey Matthews's avatar

Audrey Matthews · 83 weeks ago

THIS. 100% THIS. You are my internet hero, Joel.
lou's avatar

lou · 83 weeks ago

Sock it to ‘im, Joel! This is Hijinks Ensue, we have character here!
Occasionally the characters need restraining orders or bacon detox, but we have it.
Protective Sibling's avatar

Protective Sibling · 83 weeks ago

I got my mother out of an abusive marriage to save my baby sister, I was around 14-15 at the time. Didn’t really care about saving myself by that point, but my sister had her whole life ahead of her, I wanted to make sure she’d never go through what I did.

I suppose I did a brave thing, but I didn’t save us, my sister did. I never would have spoken out if I hadn’t had someone to save.

1 reply · active 83 weeks ago

Good on you. I paid for my mom’s divorce since that was her last excuse for not leaving my drug addict father.
HOLY CRAP. Didn’t notice the color started seeping back in. I’m like a lobster getting cooked by art and not even noticing until I’m engulfed in a rainbow of boiling colors.
Hey, at least the first kid has gills.
When I was a kid I used to clean my bedroom before my Grandmother came to visit.
Does that count? 😉
Paul1963's avatar

Paul1963 · 83 weeks ago

Holy crap, Joel, you have the best wife in the world. That last panel is really moving.

1 reply · active 83 weeks ago

Thanks! She’s pretty much been that way the entire time. She never once really told me, “Maybe this won’t work,” or “maybe you should go get a job.” All she’s ever really said after I told her a crazy plan was more akin to “OK, what do you need from me?” She’s amazing.
Conrado's avatar

Conrado · 83 weeks ago

Damn you Joel!! Right in the feels!! And I’m at the office, and they are not supposed to know I’m human!!! I will not cry!! I will not cry!!
On a serious note: I can really connect with this. My two children have made me do things I never thought were possible for me… And I’m a better person for it, and for them…I know the feeling…
Damn feels!! Go’way!!! Not till 6pm!!!
lou's avatar

lou · 83 weeks ago

NNNNgg, so many feels! Must…not…cry…
OK Joel, you have the best wife EVAR!!! She’s got your back 24/7!

I cannot say I willingly changed any of my habits or aspects of my personality for anyone. If anything, the birth of my brother when I was 3 brought out something new. Then again, I cannot remember most of my early childhood anyway.

Oh! Wait! I just remembered, my mom finally quit smoking when I was in high school.

And we eagerly await the Robot Monkeys with Laser-guided Banana Cannons.

1 reply · active 83 weeks ago

n00less cluebie's avatar

n00less cluebie · 83 weeks ago

+1

HE + Robot Monkeys with Laser-guided Banana Cannons = Shiny Goodness
Get on it.

Kaidah's avatar

Kaidah · 83 weeks ago

Finding out my (now ex-) wife was pregnant was the main reason I ended up switching to the job I have now. Finding out she was pregnant again prompted me to move to another, better company in the same field. It’s amazing how something as small as a baby can have such a large effect on your ability to get your shit together.
comic-2013-11-05-dds-attack.jpg

DDS Attack

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My store has some new signed prints and signed posters you should entirely check out. Signed books as well!

This comic is sort of a  pre-follow up to THIS comic. I used to be really ashamed to tell people what I did for a living, even though it provided my wife and I with a bunch of money and all the material attributes of “success.” Now that I have what is, for me, the perfect job, I rarely want to talk about it with strangers because I feel like it requires an hour long lesson or backstory in order to comprehend it.

Anyway, that’s basically my intent for the flashback comics: To show how Joel’s life pre and post “Experiment” parallels even when it drastically contrasts. I was always the type to think, “I can escape this problem IF I can get a new job/move to a new place/make new friends/etc.” Adulthood and parenthood and Leprechaun: In The Hood have taught me that I bring most of my problems with me wherever I go. They are literally inside me; inside my brain. I cannot outrun them any more than I can outrun the contents of my own skull. Stupid brain. Always full of conflicted thoughts about stupid stuff.

Funny story: I wrote this comic, laid out the text and sketched all the way to the last panel before realizing that smartphones didn’t exist back then. The idea that I would reach into my pocket and Google something is so ubiquitous now that I completely forgot that there was a time in my adult life when I was unable to do that. I decided to settle on comic Joel owning a pre-smartphone (a Palm Tre0 650), which did have basic internetting and emailing and such. In reality, at this time I believe I would have had a Motorola Razr, the semi-functional fashion statement of mid 00’s mobile communication. Before that I did own a couple of rather pricey Symbian OS phones that had access to a mobile-friendly, text only version of the internet via Edge or sub-Edge speeds. Looking up ANYTHING AT ALL via these devices was an exercise in self loathing.

Comments (36)

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TJ "Kiltman"Anderson's avatar

TJ “Kiltman”Anderson · 84 weeks ago

Was googling even a thing? Alta vista or maybe yahoo? Heh… technology..There was a lot more ohh gee back then.. my first palm pilot was a signing gift for a sizable advertisement in the …get this… Yellow pages..
Stranger's avatar

Stranger · 84 weeks ago

Would that last one be dentists who exclusively works on MMA fighters, or dentists moonlighting as MMA fighters?

3 replies · active 84 weeks ago

I’m enjoying this storyline. It’s really hitting home.
Joel, I love the new direction. I look forward to each new comic. I appreciate that you are “exposing” more of your personal life in comic form and with pics of your family life. That can be a tough call to make but I believe you are doing it well.

Also, that’s a Treo isnt’ it? Yeah.. I’m suddenly nostalgic for a resistive touch screen and super-slow mobile internet. Good times…

5 replies · active 84 weeks ago

Thanks! That is a Treo. I never really owned one personally, but my boss did. I remember the 600 being a total piece of shit, the 650 being marginally better, then the 700 blowing it out of the water. Then the iPhone bankrupted palm. All within like 3 years.
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Tim from Radio Clash · 84 weeks ago

I owned…and still own…a Sony p990i. Probably be a museum piece soon…and yes I was sloooooooooow but I used to browse and email with it. It’s why I never understood the Samsung vs Apple vs The World patent war when it’s obvious touchscreen phones with apps were around pre-all that.

My habit of copying all posts before sending comes from that – quite often you’d lose *everything* when the post failed. Still do it today… even on Wifi. Don’t truss it.

Apple’s patent war with Samsung was over the concept of “multitouch,” not just touching a screen. Specifically pinching to zoom, swiping, 2,3 and 4 finger gestures, etc.
That wasn’t all they sued over, just what stuck. You’re talking about the States only – Apple and Samsung (and Google for that matter) sued and countersued all over the world, including Europe. Some of the ‘look and feel’ patent legals did cover stuff that I’m pretty sure was prior art – ‘square phone with rounded edges?’, apps, touchscreen, etc. Thankfully most of these were thrown out, because they were pretty silly, apart from the US oddly. But it did mean sometimes the imports were stopped, which I’m guessing was the main reason.
Hmm. MMA dentists? Pretty cool.

Still not as cool as pay-per-view nun fights, though.

1 reply · active 84 weeks ago

Lurkie's avatar

Lurkie · 84 weeks ago

YES! I had not only a Treo, but it’s predecessor, a Handspring (which was basically a palm pilot in pretty colors with an expansion slot I could never afford to insert anything into).

1 reply · active 84 weeks ago

I thought Handspring was the coolest thing in the world. I loved the Springboard concept. I actually owned one WELL after they were obsolete. I got it for free when cleaning out an old boss’s junk storage unit. I was going to hook it up to an old PC and use it to control WinAmp via serial cable. Never got around to actually doing that project though. I had hoped to put it in a car, but iPods came out almost immediately and made that plan obsolete.
Cate's avatar

Cate · 84 weeks ago

Question, I really like the new direction of the comic as well, but I noticed something. I’m not sure if its because its a “Flashback” or if its part of the change in art style, but it seems a lot more Pastel heavy than before? Hoping its just for the flashbacks, because for some reason it kinda hurts my eyes a little. Just my two cents, will still keep reading and supporting regardless! Keep doing what you love Joel!

2 replies · active 84 weeks ago

Lurkie's avatar

Lurkie · 84 weeks ago

Yes, Joel has said that the pastel look is part of the flashback.
The washed out colors denote a flashback, since I only post how long ago it was in the first comic of the flashback. When the full colors come back, you’ll know it’s present day.
Stephen's avatar

Stephen · 84 weeks ago

When I was in Jr. High, my dad got me a Palm Zire 21, because he had used Palm devices for a couple years and I thought they were the coolest thing ever. No internet, no mp3 player, nothing that I even needed as a Jr High kid. I think I had a Bible application on it that I used in Bible class. And I had games on it. And it was awesome. Now, only 10(ish) years later I have an iPhone 5s that scans my fingerprint every time I unlock it and can browse the internet faster than my home internet could back then. I love technology.
Love the facial expressions in this comic. Keep up the awesome work, Joel!

PS – I’d love to see other flashback storylines, like when you first met Josh and Eli, your first date with Emily, when you found out you were going to be a dad, etc. The stuff you mentioned about your strict religious upbringing sounds like it would be interesting.

1 reply · active 84 weeks ago

I plan to keep the flashbacks as an ongoing thing. Im sure we’ll get to some of that stuff as the story progresses.
Dave's avatar

Dave · 84 weeks ago

My bank changed its website recently. It was a major overhaul, and we had to have all our bill payments entered by some date, or wait until the new system was up a week later. Sure enough, on the day after the deadline I remembered that I had some one-off bill sitting around. For a good while I thought, “What the hell am I going to do? It’s due the day after the new system is up.” Actually, I went to the biller’s site to pay it before I remembered that I can write a check and mail it in with the forever stamps collecting dust on my desk (and thank God for them, I had to buy 3 sets of 1-2 cent stamps before I used up the last of the stamps that had a fixed value).
Bron's avatar

Bron · 84 weeks ago

I think I must be a bit of a luddite (actually if you read up on them an interesting group who were not actually technophobic they just really hated the people who were screwing them over who happened to own mills) becuase I haven’t actually got to the point where the internet is completely indespencible to my life.

I only recently got a smart phone and eventually gave up on using the internet features as I found them slow and awkward, I now use it as a phone/contact book/clock/texting device much like I used my old nokia. I actually plan to downgrade when it dies as I find the lower battery life especially annoying. This phone cost me $125 Sing while my old one cost 4.99 GBP and came with a 15 GBP top up (basically they gave me 10 GBP of service to take it away), I remember being excited because it had a colour display….

2 replies · active 84 weeks ago

I feel like, for me, instant access to all of the knowledge in the world and constant contact with my friends/family/fans/etc enriches my life. If you don’t feel the same way, then perhaps you aren’t missing anything.
Bron's avatar

Bron · 84 weeks ago

Thank you for the reply.

That is the thing, I feel sometimes like all of this would just make my life so much better but that the technology is both too high in cost and too awkward to use. I’m not sure if it is because I have my experience of the internet through computers is just so different to the mobile internet that it just throws me off. My family were early adopters of the PC and later the Internet and because I touch type (I’m dyspraxic so I’ve used computers for pretty much all written communication since I was about 10 due to my cack handedness) I just find that with the keyboard its pretty much like a direct link between my brain and the internet. With mobile devices (especially those with a touch screen) it just feels odd and alien and very clunky and slow. I’m not sure if I’d be right with you if I’d been on this journey from the start rather then coming in part way through. I hope that when Singapore comes out with this free wireless network they’ve been talking about I can get a cheap iPad or something and join you guys in the better future that seems to be coming.

Candace's avatar

Candace · 84 weeks ago

Nice catch on the Palm Treo. I used to have a Palm Pilot, which I loved, and a Fujitsu pseudo flip phone, which was a piece of junk. (I had major Motorola flip-phone envy. So Star Trek.) I was so happy when Palm came out with the Treo, so I could have my PDA and smartphone all in one.

Of course you’re right, Apple trumped Palm with the iPhone, which I can’t live without. (Or at least, wouldn’t enjoy having to do without.) I have a terrible memory, and used to have to carry a purse calendar and pen with me everywhere so I could record and keep track of my appointments, etc.. Of course, I still had to exert the mental discipline to remember to record every appointment when I made it, and look at my calendar every day.

Nowadays, if I can just remember to get the appointment into my iPhone calendar in the first place, the phone does the rest for me. So much easier, and far fewer missed appointments. And if you break your phone, you can just go to an Apple store and get a new one. How cool is that?! (And I don’t have to carry paper around anymore!) The future is now, and it’s great! (Well, mostly.)

1 reply · active 84 weeks ago

i do the same thing. I free up so much space and so many mental cycles in my brainspace by only having to remember “Check your todo list often” instead of the 400 individual things on said list.
DuckAmuck's avatar

DuckAmuck · 84 weeks ago

Graphic Designer… for dentists.
Dishwasher… for dentists.
Veterinarian… for dentists.

Now it’s starting to sound like a save the dentist charity.

1 reply · active 84 weeks ago

lou's avatar

lou · 84 weeks ago

Now all it needs is a commercial with Sarah McClachlan in it.
Kaidah's avatar

Kaidah · 71 weeks ago

Hey, my uncle and cousins are dentists and they’re pretty fun. Or maybe it’s just all the cool stuff they bought with their dentist money that’s fun. At any rate, the parties they throw are definitely fun. 🙂

Fun fact: When I was a kid I used to think my uncle had a Scrooge McDuck type vault hidden the basement of his house (which is three times the size of mine btw) because he was rich (well, richer than us anyway) and in my addled kid logic all rich people had huge vaults for thier money. Discovering the reality of stock portfolios and retirement funds was a huge diappointment.

comic-2013-11-04-the-clothes-make-the-man-miserable.jpg

The Clothes Make The Man Miserable

comic-2013-11-04-the-clothes-make-the-man-miserable.jpg

I tend to monologue a lot. Another word for what I do would be “rant.” I am uncommonly good at preparing a lengthy series of complaints with little provocation and no preparation. It comes from having a good memory. I can quickly recall all the things that make me mad about something without having to dig around for the anger. My gripes are stored in RAM, as it were. That isn’t to say I’m an angry person. Far from it. I’m just good at rattling off the particulars of what I don’t like about stuff, people, etc. I’m also pretty good at quickly and succinctly enunciating what I like about something, but I tend to do it with less loudness and hand gestures.

 When I was a young man, a teen even (guh… TEEENS!) this skill made me quite adept at arguing. Rather, it made me good at seeming like I had won arguments when, in fact, I had simply managed to speak more confidently and for a longer period of time without confusion or exhaustion than my opponent. Since then, I’ve tried to truncate my rants (positive and negative) with a rule I learned from Seinfeld. Go out on a high note. When you get the big laugh say, “Goodnight everybody” and show yourself offstage. When explaining, ranting, whatevering the moment I get my point across and the audience seems to be receptive and understanding (if not amused), I try my best to shut up. I fail at this a lot on interviews, but I am trying to get better. I am endeavoring to use words more as a precision instrument than a melee weapon.

COMMENTERS: Are you a ranter? What gets your a-rantin’ a-goin’? Do you have to DEAL with a ranter on a regular basis? How do you cope?

Comments (29)

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Stranger's avatar

Stranger · 84 weeks ago

I know that feeling, I havent even worn a shirt with buttons for over a decade. Yeah, I know I look like a vagrant, but I dont care.
daveren's avatar

daveren · 84 weeks ago

I don’t think you’re getting the point.
Steve's avatar

Steve · 84 weeks ago

Buzz, meet Bennettbf. Bennettbf, meet Buzz…oh. Wait. You’ve met. Bennettbf, please take your knife out of Buzz’s throat. No, don’t twist…don’t TWIST–dammit. Now you’ve killed it. You’ve killed our Buzz, Bennettbf. Killed it deader’n’disco.
nate's avatar

nate · 84 weeks ago

Steve I just need to say “Killed it deader’n’disco.” made my day thank you sir.
Ali's avatar

Ali · 84 weeks ago

I wish it were more expected for both sexes to wear ties. I have a lot of cool ties that I never really have an excuse to wear, unless I’m crossplaying, and even then only one or two of them really fit into the costumes.

3 replies · active 84 weeks ago

Wear ’em. Go for it. Why not?
Ali's avatar

Ali · 84 weeks ago

I wish I could, but my job has separate dress codes for men and women, and I’d be written up for breaking it…and I wish I were in a place in life where I could afford to quit my job and find one that would let me wear what I wanted, but I’m not.
Aww… Joel wasn’t in a happy place back then.
Rikonius's avatar

Rikonius · 84 weeks ago

Ugh… Ties are the worst. I absolutely hated the rare occasions I had to wear one.

BTW, I don’t know if you’re familiar with Lewis Grizzard, but you’d probably appreciate his sentiments on neckties (http://grittree.wordpress.com/category/lewis/page/6/)
“Ties are detrimental to men’s health. Men who have to wear ties all the time tend to be terribly highstrung and nervous because they’ve got this piece of cloth strung tightly around their necks. It’s ties, not cholesterol, that cause most heart attacks and strokes.
Also, besides being terribly uncomfortable and unhealthy, it is a known fact that wearing a tie eventually leads to baldness. The tie hinders the circulation to the scalp and that’s why men’s hair falls out.
You don’t see that many bald-headed women, do you? Of course not. That’s because they don’t wear ties.”

TJ "Kiltman" 's avatar

TJ “Kiltman” · 84 weeks ago

On kilts, or another reason I wear kilts.

Feb 25, 2009

i’ll probably post this as a blog as well..

from a strictly fashion stand point … go take a look at a “business suit” some time.. just online or next time you’re watchin the news … what a SILLY looking IMPRACTICAL costume.

ever watch historcal fictional movies .. ? men used to wear stockings.. and knickers .. and gawdy hats with feathers ?
how much different is todays suit… with starch collars, buttons /cufflinks on the sleeves .. “double breasted” (what are those silly flaps for?? ) jackets with SHOULDER PADS?!?!? (what they gonna do play football on lunch???) pleats in the front of their pants that makes it look like they’re sportin a Woodrow when they sit down.. which makes their pants ride up their legs so we can see their STUPID feminine patterned socks and ultra fem leather shoes with…TASSLES!! on a shoe.. tassles… really..
tassles??

…. oh and the tie… A TIE??? its a bloody sewn scarf that serves no purpose other than to get caught in some machine and pull you in to your gruesome death, or just to choke you while you bend over to pick up that TPS report .. in a reminder.. that you are nothing more than a corporate slave…

or maybe the tie is a “gift” by the corporate masters.. the last bit of free speech left in the glum corporate servititude, where you can show some (but not too much) personality by wearing unique ties.. that serve no purpose other than the occasional “ohh nice tie” from people wishing they had enough balls to even wear a different tie..

i once was asked by three guys in suits at a restaurant “whats the costume for” refering to my Utilikilt… i kinda looked at the guy… looked at his two buddies.. gave a big smile and said “i’d say lookin at the three of you.. that YOU are in the costumes, i happen to be completely comfortable.” passed out a few utilikilt business cards and went on my way..

and then womens corporate fashion?? two words…HILLARY CLINTON . nuff said. **shudders** make that image go away mommy peeeeeeeeeeeesh??? its scary!!

TJ "Kiltman"Anderson's avatar

TJ “Kiltman”Anderson · 84 weeks ago

Feb 25, 2009

from a strictly fashion stand point … go take a look at a “business suit” some time.. just online or next time you’re watchin the news … what a SILLY looking IMPRACTICAL costume.

ever watch historcal fictional movies .. ? men used to wear stockings.. and knickers .. and gawdy hats with feathers ?
how much different is todays suit… with starch collars, buttons /cufflinks on the sleeves .. “double breasted” (what are those silly flaps for?? ) jackets with SHOULDER PADS?!?!? (what they gonna do play football on lunch???) pleats in the front of their pants that makes it look like they’re sportin a Woodrow when they sit down.. which makes their pants ride up their legs so we can see their STUPID feminine patterned socks and ultra fem leather shoes with…TASSLES!! on a shoe.. tassles… really..
tassles??

…. oh and the tie… A TIE??? its a bloody sewn scarf that serves no purpose other than to get caught in some machine and pull you in to your gruesome death, or just to choke you while you bend over to pick up that TPS report .. in a reminder.. that you are nothing more than a corporate slave…

or maybe the tie is a “gift” by the corporate masters.. the last bit of free speech left in the glum corporate servititude, where you can show some (but not too much) personality by wearing unique ties.. that serve no purpose other than the occasional “ohh nice tie” from people wishing they had enough balls to even wear a different tie..

i once was asked by three guys in suits at a restaurant “whats the costume for” refering to my Utilikilt… i kinda looked at the guy… looked at his two buddies.. gave a big smile and said “i’d say lookin at the three of you.. that YOU are in the costumes, i happen to be completely comfortable.” passed out a few utilikilt business cards and went on my way..

and then womens corporate fashion?? two words…HILLARY CLINTON . nuff said. **shudders** make that image go away mommy peeeeeeeeeeeesh??? its scary!!

1 reply · active 84 weeks ago

The Unknown FB's avatar

The Unknown FB · 84 weeks ago

But don’t forget…you’ll get smacked at some places if you go too far in showing your personality with “unique” tie/shirt/sock colors.
Even though men have a bit more leeway in colors/patterns, you still get the CorpConformO prog running in certain places.

For myself, I’m not allowed to wear “golf shirts” (what my GM terms polo shirts) or any dress pant with a cargo pocket on it, or any non-businessy shoe. Might upset a FASHION CLIENT to see someone male not dressed as a faux banker up in their building.

echo's avatar

echo · 84 weeks ago

Don’t know if you intended to make a deep and moving comic, but it was.

1 reply · active 84 weeks ago

Hey thanks! I really didn’t know how to end this comic until the last minute.
eviljimmy's avatar

eviljimmy · 84 weeks ago

HATE – ties.

Neck prisons indeed 🙂

Dean's avatar

Dean · 84 weeks ago

I kind of like wearing a tie to work. It makes me feel more professional.
I hate ties, and I hate suits. I can’t stand reading GQ because they act like suits are the end-all be-all of fashion.

1 reply · active 84 weeks ago

The Unknown FB's avatar

The Unknown FB · 84 weeks ago

Same with Details magazine, many times. They at least do a mix of other types of clothes, but frequently it’s “mix your suit pants/jacket with your weekend wear”.
Um, no…and then explain to me why I subscribe to you again?
This strip got me right in the feels
Bruceski's avatar

Bruceski · 84 weeks ago

I rant for two things: abuse of statistics (common in TV media and there outta be a crime for saying “a study has found that…” laundering something that is so flawed and deliberately skewed that should the “studier” have submitted it to an actual journal they would have been shot, so they just posted it on the internet) and bad salsa. The latter comes in two flavors: a bowl full of water somebody tossed a bit of onion and tomato in or going full-on capsasin without any interest in flavor. A good salsa blends flavor with heat and can come out any temperature. For example contrast Pace medium (a pretty good one even if proper snobs sneer at getting something so generic) with their hot (nothing but pepper seeds, basicly a hot sauce instead of a salsa).
DuckAmuck's avatar

DuckAmuck · 84 weeks ago

My biggest hot-button is Disney. Seriously, don’t get me started on my Disney rant. And the rant just keeps growing now that everything I USED to have as evidence of “better than Disney” is now OWNED BY DISNEY! There’s no escape.

I come from a long line of ranters. The winner is usually the one who is willing to NOT rant.

StephR's avatar

StephR · 84 weeks ago

Ties are just a flaccid penis pointing down to your real one.
comic-2013-10-29-confusion-of-conformity.jpg

Confusion Of Conformity

comic-2013-10-29-confusion-of-conformity.jpg

Check out my new Experiment Video Blog post over on YourTubes! 

Screen Shot 2013-10-29 at 12.15.24 AM

I made a new LoFi comic about Pacific Rim out of one of your Fancy Digital Sketch Drive sketches.

Joel has just experienced what people who go around quoting Pulp Fiction would refer to as “a moment of clarity.” A couple more flashback comics then we rocket full throttle to the present and a new storyline.

COMMENTERS: We’ve spent some time discussing places and clothes that made you feel super uncomfortable, but when or where did you know for certain that you ABSOLUTELY were in the right place or with the right people? What made you feel acceptance and “I fit in” more than any other time or place?

For me it was the first time I went to a comic convention. I had been making HE for 2 years and I had never been around other comic artists. I had hardly ever been around other creative professionals of any kind. Just seeing other people who did what I did being in their element afforded me this grand sigh of relief. Like I suddenly knew I wasn’t alone or COMPLETELY insane for trying to be a full time cartoonist. I also met a fan of my work for the first time. I met a few, actually. It was also the first time a comic creator I admired had told me they were familiar with and fond of my work. The idea that everything I had been working so hard on had not gone entirely unnoticed; that I was off to a good start and some people were paying attention was just enough validation to keep me moving in the right direction despite tremendous pressure to give up and get a regular job. Find your tribe, find your friends and you will find your home. 

Comments (37)

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Batya the Toon's avatar

Batya the Toon · 85 weeks ago

First time I ever went to a science-fiction convention. At the Masquerade, the emcee introducing the contestants had to stall between presentations for some reason, and told us so: “There’s an amber light on my console, that means I have to stall.” And after three or four minutes of filler, she announced “The light is green.” And I pavloved, out loud, “The trap is clean.”

… and so did thirty people around me, in unison.

I did not say out loud MY PEOPLE I HAVE FOUND YOU, but that’s more or less what I was feeling.

Greg's avatar

Greg · 85 weeks ago

When I went to Israel, which isn’t surprising given I’m Jewish. Of course all the locals were at best ambivalent to me ‘cos I’m British, which is the usual reaction when Brits travel (except to the US, where we’re worshipped as gods). But courtesy of being British, I was completely able to ignore local sentiment and happily assume everyone loved the pants off me.

4 replies · active 85 weeks ago

Ali's avatar

Ali · 85 weeks ago

That was my experience in Israel too (except I’m American :- ). It was nice to not be a minority.

(I have a question for you as a British person. Do all Brits watch Doctor Who? Because it seems to be a lot more popular, and part of mainstream pop culture a lot more than any American TV show is over here. In one class in college, there was a Scottish exchange student, and—without him saying anything about sci-fi at all—I found myself wondering if he was a Doctor Who fan, just because he was British. And the next day he was wearing a Doctor Who t-shirt. Was he an outlier or a typical Brit?)

Alex's avatar

Alex · 85 weeks ago

I am English, so I’ll give you an answer. Firstly, no, not all British people watch Doctor Who. However, it is a very visible part of mainstream pop culture here. Almost everyone knows of it’s existence and almost everyone over a certain age remembers watching it as a kid. (It was off air for quite a long time before returning, which is why the caveat “over a certain age”). Some people came back to it when it returned and some didn’t. Some don’t like the current Doctor, etc…
Stuey's avatar

Stuey · 85 weeks ago

Seconded from another Brit (Welsh this time!) Doctor Who is not necessarily universally loved even by geeks but things like a new Doctor make the national news and it’s part of our national consciousness in a way I can’t really think of an American comparison to

This is partly because of how long running it is. I’m 28 and my dad is 57 and we have had discussions about which Doctor was most important to us growing up etc and generally he only owns a TV to watch rugby (me Pertwee and him Troughton if you’re interested).

The mania is quite pronounced for me because I live in Cardiff and they have shot some episodes in the building I’m currently working in so it’s a big deal here

Candace's avatar

Candace · 85 weeks ago

I’m not Jewish, but I had a similar experience when visiting Stockholm. I have some Swedish ancestry, and didn’t realize how much it has influenced and affected me until I spent a few days in Stockholm, and felt oddly as if I were at home in a way I have not felt anywhere else I have traveled.
Bango's avatar

Bango · 85 weeks ago

About a week after I moved to the unnamed Caribbean island where I have lived for the past ten years I went to the DMV to register a car, and there in the line AT THE DMV was a man drinking a cold bottle of beer! And NO ONE THOUGHT THIS WAS AT ALL ODD! I knew I was home…

2 replies · active 85 weeks ago

seriously's avatar

seriously · 85 weeks ago

Wise of you not to name your new homeland, or else you’d get a never-ending stream of Fancy Bastards looking to emigrate.
Candace's avatar

Candace · 85 weeks ago

Man, I so want to retire to the Caribbean. Everything is just so laid back, and it doesn’t get cold!
When I went to C2E2 in 2011, that was my first con. I nearly cried at the thought of being among my kind.

3 replies · active 85 weeks ago

I think I was there.
You WERE according to the photocomics, but the only webcomic I read at the time was Cyanide & Happiness. I distinctly remember seeing a guy I later learned was Zach Weiner staring at the long line at the Explosm booth.

In retrospect, I could have met a whole lot of awesome cartoonists that day; If I only read then what I read now…

Thats right. I was directly behind CnH. Im pretty sure that was when i met those guys.
zathael's avatar

zathael · 85 weeks ago

I actually found my tribe courtesy of Maura Wilson of Matilda fame, believe it or not.

I went to a summer camp with her when we were both teenagers. My only friend there had recently been sent back home due to alcohol consumption. I don’t drink and had been left behind at the party he was busted at.

One day I was on my way out the door of the dorms to walk idly around the camp when I heard Miss Wilson in the commons saying. “You know, I really liked Fellowship but I had trouble getting into Two Towers. Is book three really worth it to get through?”

I did a heel face turn and butted myself the hell into their conversation. Maura was a friend through the rest of the camp (though I fear I never kept up with her afterwards) but the people she was talking to taught me how to play tabletop RPG’s, introduced me to Homestar Runner and made me feel at home.

No one I socialize with reads comics or has the same interest as mine. But I introduce them to things that interest me. I consider myself the Christian Missionary of Webcomics! 😀

1 reply · active 85 weeks ago

So, they hate you for it?
Ali's avatar

Ali · 85 weeks ago

A couple days ago, while introducing my new roommates to Supernatural, they made unprompted smartass remarks about Dean and pie. I knew then for certain that I’d moved in with the right people.

Also back in college, I overheard a boy inviting another girl in my programming class to join his D&D game because they needed a cleric. I butted in, joined their party instead of her (although she’s still a very good friend), and during the first session of the game I discovered that he and I liked the same Star Wars novels (X-Wing series and the Thrawn books). I ended up inviting him back to my dorm room to watch Deep Space Nine. We dated for two years and I still miss him.

Just Me's avatar

Just Me · 85 weeks ago

I am tribeless at the moment, and it sucks.

1 reply · active 85 weeks ago

Fuck that noise. Go find ’em.
I’m fortunate to have multiple tribes:

– my immediate and extended family. We’re big, more than a little silly, but mostly we all get on well. I’m fortunate here, I know. So many of my friends in other areas don’t have that.

– The racers & race marshals I mentioned in the previous comic’s comments. This is a family-of-choice.

– My real-world friends from early life. Thanks to the magic of technology, I’m in touch with a lot of folks that otherwise were lost to me (and I to them).

– And certainly not least: the nerds, a generic term for those folks I first got to know on the other side of the computer screen, but includes the many I’ve since met at cons, at concerts/shows, on JCCC, at the game store, etc. Bound by our common love of loving something as much as we can (thanks, Wil), and appreciation for others who share that, even if their something is different than our something. That’s how I found you, Joel, and HE, and JCCC, and Marian Call, and the DoubleClicks, and Joseph Scrimshaw, and Zoe Keating, and so much more that’s made life a lot more enjoyable even when I’m not able to be with my tribemates in meatspace.

TJ "Kiltman"Anderson's avatar

TJ “Kiltman”Anderson · 85 weeks ago

I have never found that “right place”… However I seem to be accepted in both sietch and graben..

The wise paraphrased words of groucho marx.. I don’t want to be a member of any club that wants me as a member..

I enjoy comicons.. I also enjoy beer-making, guns, movies, politics, autoracing-that-isnt-NASCAR and
cruiser motorbikes.. but i have memberships in none of them

Candace's avatar

Candace · 85 weeks ago

I guess I was lucky. I found my tribe in college when I somehow accidentally fell in with a group CoSci majors, in spite of being in liberal arts and a musician myself. They loved Star Trek, Monty Python, and Hitchiker’s, as I did, and my boyfriend introduced me to AD&D, which I had been interested in getting into for a while. Being a musician, I kept trying to hang out with other musicians, and it usually didn’t work for some reason.

By the time I had finished university, I had (mostly) realized that computer engineers are my tribe, even though I don’t always understand when they start “talking shop,” because we share much geekery.

lou's avatar

lou · 85 weeks ago

For me, it was the year I first went to the GDC and FanimeCon. There are these huge gatherings of nerds and geeks all coming together to share and celebrate their fandoms, free of judgement. It was glorious!
Franz's avatar

Franz · 85 weeks ago

Hi Joel! Just wanted to say that I shotgunned all your archived comics in the last 6 days and loved them all! Amazing work! Really like the new direction! Much respect! Thanks to the guys at C&H for turning me on to your comic!
Andy's avatar

Andy · 85 weeks ago

My first Gen Con in 2000 was really the first large gathering where I felt “home”. SDCC is a close second
Stephen's avatar

Stephen · 85 weeks ago

If I could afford to buy clothes such as those, and (while we’re dreaming) I was about 100 pounds less fat, I would wear those suits multiple times per week. As it is, I can’t even afford suits from JC Penny, half the suits I have don’t fit, and the two that do fit (I was given these when my dad lost about 100 pounds) I don’t wear very often because I hate how fat I’ve gotten. But oh! For Comstock to have measurements on file for me! T’would be a dream come true.
David's avatar

David · 84 weeks ago

You should definitely consider an app for your comics. They would be great to read on the go without having to load the whole website for each new comic.

1 reply · active 84 weeks ago

http://www.comicchameleon.com/

Of course, you coming to the website is how I get paid.

The first time I walked into a bear bar, C.C.’s to be exact, I knew I had found my home.
PokeyPuppy's avatar

PokeyPuppy · 84 weeks ago

So late to this, but I remember in high school meeting my now-best friend who grew up all over the U.S. I grew up in Billings, MT in the 80’s & early 90’s before the Internet was really a “thing,” and I went NUTS when I saw his music collection. I had no idea there was music that fit me, that there was so much more out there than 80’s pop & techno! Punk music was a thing!

I’ve had lots of “this is my tribe” moments since then, but that was the first time I knew it was possible.

Will "Deadpool7100"'s avatar

Will “Deadpool7100” · 84 weeks ago

uh hi this is the first time i ever commented on any of these…
by the way this is entirely unrelated to your question up there.
but anyway i started reading your comics awhile back, cant remember where i saw them… probably a link off explosm or The Chive
but anyway i really got hooked on your style and characters and was really excited with your “big change” awhile back and you started doing more stories and recurring characters and the whatnot
at some point i became interested enough to start randomly clicking around your site and read at least most of your experiment stuff
it was really interesting and i would like to say i could compare but my extent of work in this area of “art” is building with LEGO on deviant art http://deadpool7100.deviantart.com/ < My profile!
i have begun to write a story that i cooked up awhile ago and have started thinking seriously-ish about trying to publish it, maybe, eventually and i guess thats the most of any kind of link there

but yeah i just wanted to say keep up the good work!
pretty cool to see you making a living doing your dream!
always looking forward to the next comic!!!
dont really know why i felt like babbling 😀
did i mention i like your comics?

2 replies · active 84 weeks ago

I appreciate the sentiment and the encouragement. Work on that story, and don’t be afraid to put it out there. Most creative types rarely love the first thing they ever put out for public consumption, but it’s important to do it, and keep doing it in order to get the practice you need to really hone your creative craft. Make, do, go, repeat.
Will "Deadpool7100"'s avatar

Will “Deadpool7100” · 84 weeks ago

thanks man!
keep comic-ing!!!!