La Máquina Infernal

BIG BIG CLOSEOUT SALE in the HE Store!

These shirts are marked down to $14.95 and leaving the HE Blind Ferret Store for good!

Team Edward, Ewok Stare, Show Us On The Trilogy, Winter Is Coming and Sci-Five
Ladies versions of these shirts are on sale too!

These shirts are marked down to $9.95!

Ovipositor, Unicorn Poop, And My Axe (Ladies), SyFy Movie Title Generator and British Knights

I hope you guys are enjoying this storyline. It’s been a lot of fun to write and draw and I’ve got 2 or 3 more planned to round it out. I’ve also got some ideas for LoFi’s that I’d like to do, so hopefully there’ll be plenty of HijiNKS to put in your faces this week.

COMMENTERS: What’s the most rigged or broken piece of tech you’ve ever used consistently. Any discmans held shut with rubber bands? Playstations you had to jam paperclips into so it thought the lid was closed? When I was a teen we had a 36″ CRT TV and the coaxial cable input broke off. We used it for another 3 years with the copper lead of the coax cable coming out of the wall balanced on the solder point of the logic board inside the tv through the whole in the plastic where the coax input used to be and with the whole precarious mess held together with a piece of electrical tape. We knew to never touch, nudge or bump the TV for fear of never achieving that delicate balance again.

Comments (32)

bubujin_2· 101 weeks ago

I’m still using a 3- or 4-year-old netbook. It’s been hard dropped about three times, has plastic non-essential pieces missing, has a cracked case, and an “o” key that doesn’t work. Today the left arrow button stopped working. I’m just too cheap to get into a tablet. And heck, it still works.

1 · active 101 weeks ago

@Dadditude· 101 weeks ago

I take it this must not have been written on it… Too many o’s.

nonbeliever93· 101 weeks ago

I’ve gone through about three Sennheiser PX100 headphones in the last 5 years. These headphones were liable to get caught on objects when I wasn’t looking and end up damaging the cord. I ended up patching the exposed wiring that resulted with electrical tape to keep the whole thing going. Until of course, the pair’s final death where the cord wrapped around a train seat armrest and I chose to lunge forward out of my seat. All things everywhere split open and I was left with a few more parts than I started out with.

Also, my dad’s 13 year old car has the material lining the ceiling held up by staples.

3 replies · active 93 weeks ago

@Dadditude· 101 weeks ago

I’ve ridden in many cars through the years with that particular issue… A friend of mine’s dad actually used thumbtacks in a diamond-shaped pattern to hold his up.

emperorbailey· 97 weeks ago

What’s important is that you hold the microphone up, say something mind-blowing into it, and drop it unceremoniously on the floor.
But yeah, one goes through a lot of microphones that way.

Gordon· 93 weeks ago

I read that as “my dads 13 yea old cat”!!!

Greg· 101 weeks ago

I think the CPU fan on my desktop has failed because it makes a sound like a hamster farting instead of the Concorde-taking-off thing it used to do. Anyways doing anything more taxing then yelling at blogs causes the PC to fall over, unless I point a real floor-standing fan at it.

Algor_Langeaux· 101 weeks ago

My first computers were probably my most “bailing wire and spit” sort of tech I owned. The last incarnation involved an 8 bit TR(a)S(h)-80 Color Computer, with surplus-ed IBM 3400 tape drive and a IBM 3340 “Winchester” HDD that I picked up as scrap when a local insurance company was upgrading their systems. It also had 128k of bubble memory, (and a hugely hacked OS-9 level one OS, that allowed the system to get past the 64k memory address limitations of the MC6809E MPU.)

Michael Corley· 101 weeks ago

My last laptop hated me. The feeling was mutual

FarrisGoldstein· 101 weeks ago

Eureka! First computer I “built” in college, in a case we made from a vacuum cleaner box.

1 · active 101 weeks ago

hijinksensue· 101 weeks ago

oh man…

Rikonius· 101 weeks ago

I don’t use much juryrigged tech, but at my last job there was this guy Bill, who had a PC that was made from 3 or 4 other PCs. I don’t mean replacing parts from one with another. I mean his PC had three cases pieced together and sticking out of each other in a geometry that I do not think is entirely possible with just 3 dimensions. It had multiple redundant bits, tons of drive space, and I think he had rigged it to use all the processors from the old machines. It looked like something you’d get if you let a Son of Ether into your IT department. And it made his office about 20 degrees warmer than the rest of the building.

Looking back, it’s a wonder that the building never burned down.

1 · active 101 weeks ago

{CB}Marsupial Vomit· 101 weeks ago

I think that was me…

thehappysmith· 101 weeks ago

The third laptop suffered from cheap, poorly constructed hinges. I had no problems with the actual guts of the machine and the screen always worked, but the hinges allowing it to open and close–and incidentally holding the screen in the open position so I could actually use the thing–began failing about two years into its life. I did not at that point have money for a replacement, and the computer still worked dammit! So once it got to the point that the only thing holding the screen on was the actual wire connecting the screen to the processor, I JB-Welded some friction hinges to it. It was amazingly fancy. It opened and closed properly, sort of, although when closed the hinges stuck up four inches into the air. It looked more like alien technology than jury-rigged nonsense, but nonsense it was. I was able to continue using it for a while, though, which was the point. I have pictures somewhere.

1 · active 100 weeks ago

Titmouse· 100 weeks ago

My friend in College got a new laptop for free off the college, but he persisted in using it as a notebook for a year.. A reall notebook. He kept all his handouts and paper in it and just closed the monitor on them. When i pointed out that he was going to Feck up the hinges he just laughed at me, until the day the hinges on it finally popped! I love a bit of commupance! He had the last laugh though, he went to a hardware shop and bought some hinges, ones used to put a door up and Screwed them straight into the moniter and base!! It worked until the plastic finnally snapped and he had just finished his Thesis!! Jammy bastard!

Trumppoll· 101 weeks ago

We used to have one of those huge wooden cabinets that held our 19 inch tv, and yes we put our new new tv on top of it when the old tv broke, but before it died completely it had a couple of months of death spasms. I would turn on the set and I could hear the sound but it would take anywhere form 15 to 30 minutes before the tubes would warm up and the picture was visible.

P.S. Damn, I can write a run on sentence.

2 replies · active 97 weeks ago

hijinksensue· 101 weeks ago

My mom had a cheapo walmart particle board entertainment center that was rated for maybe a 27″ tv. we put a 36″ crt on it (the same one mentioned in the post above), and the entire structure sagged. liked literally bowed in a nice perfect curve. I crammed a bunch of wood blocks under it to keep it from breaking in half, but all of the drawers and cabinet doors wouldnt open.

emperorbailey· 97 weeks ago

Curse you, Newton!

autojim· 101 weeks ago

Let’s see… there are a few in my history:

– After my first divorce in 1995, in which my ex took off with the PC that she never used except for Mahjong “because she needed it for her business” that didn’t exist, I needed a computer quick and dirt cheap. A friend of a friend cobbled up the machine I called Frankenstein’s Monster out of the pieces of about 8 dead computers. I used it for close to 3 years, keeping it running with $20 parts sourced from those community-convention-center computer shows where you had to pay $5 to enter for the privilege of buying $10 VGA cards made from questionable Chinese cloned chips. It worked reliably, if slowly, until I used a tax refund to replace it with a new box that was obsolete before my check cleared the bank (we still used those in 1998), as Intel deployed the Pentium II while my Pentium MMX machine was in production.

– My previous main TV was a 27″ Sony I bought in 1992. Sometime around 2003, the tuner crapped out on it, but since I primarily used it as a monitor for my DirecTV box, no big, just used the RCA in… and then the audio crapped out. Discovered that the board I’d need to replace to fix it a) retailed for $750 (I’d only paid $400 for the TV in the first place), and b) was discontinued 4 years prior. So I bought a new home audio system and rigged that up to the DirecTV box, the DVD player, and the VCR (still had one of those, too). Then the RCA video in jack broke off, so I found where it needed to go and soldered in a new one. I used it that way until early 2009, when it finally just died (it didn’t like the move from Detroit to Houston and was ailing) and I went ahead and went HDTV.

– My current primary home PC had a won’t-power-on condition that I learned was endemic to that particular model from a Austin-based computer company, and it was either the power supply or the motherboard. Only way to tell was to replace the power supply, so since that was only $60, I bought one. Pulled the side panel off the computer, plugged in all the power cables to the appropriate spots, and… it worked. That power supply sat on top of the PC for close to 2 years: it has a different fan configuration and I ended up having to mount it upside-down in the case when I finally removed the dead power supply a couple weeks ago (had to also replace the dead DVD-R drive, which entailed a SATA cable and swapping the two hard drive’s physical locations so I could put SATA with SATA and the lone IDE drive salvaged from the previous computer off by itself where the previous SATA drive lived). I really need new computers. My laptop tried to set its LiOH battery on fire the last time I used it as its charging circuits didn’t know when to shut off (the battery spent the night on the concrete driveway, well away from my truck and the house).

Mark F· 101 weeks ago

A laptop, whose fan has died. I have to sit it on a box fan pointing up otherwise it over heats in about 3 mins.

1 · active 101 weeks ago

hijinksensue· 101 weeks ago

that is beautiful.

Varmint· 101 weeks ago

I am currently sitting in front of a cheap $20.00 General Electric box fan that has to be held up at just the correct angle by a folding chair in order to stand up, the plastic struts that it originally came with having been snapped off about a month after I had gotten it. However, that same fan has been otherwise functioning perfectly for almost twelve years of continuous daily use, despite having endured more abuse than any other appliance I’ve ever owned before or since.

When it finally does die, I absolutely intend to purchase another GE fan, as well as a new chair to hold it up for the coming decade after the struts inevitably break off again.

Doctor_Who· 101 weeks ago

My first mp3 player had a problem with it’s headphone jack where it wouldn’t produce sound unless the plug was pushed to one side. I rubberbanded it in place, but it still tended to come loose eventually.

Fixing it required like 20 minutes of repeatedly unwrapping the rubberband, adjusting the plug, rewrapping it, and hoping. It was a hassle, so I got into the habit of listening to music with my thumb pressed against it to hold it in place so the sound wouldn’t cut out mid-song. Used it that way for 2 years.

I have a perfectly functioning player now, but I still catch myself holding it with my thumb pressed against the headphone plug, simply out of habit.

nephaline· 101 weeks ago

Nothing as rigged as the descriptions here.

A very old laptop that was permanently locked in the docking station, it was free, but did not come with the key. So it sat permanently on the coffee table. Then I spilled a drink on the keyboard, so could no longer type. Plugged in a newer keyboard, and placed that on the coffee table in front of the laptop, so the small screen was even farther away.

Currently our dsl is plugged into a dsl modem that acts as a wifi router. But the signal isn’t great to other parts of the house. So to increase the signal, to the upstairs computer, the antennae by that computer is held in the middle of a metal screen colander with tape and cardboard, a “dish” to improve the signal.

Growing up we had a black and white tv, the channel knob snapped off one day while we were fighting over the channel. So we kept a pair of pliers nearby to change the channel. Remember when you sat as close to the tv screen as you could, so that you could change channels during commercials?

2 replies · active 97 weeks ago

@borednihilist· 101 weeks ago

When I was growing up we had a TV that would go all fuzzy and staticky unless we had a rubberband wrapped around it, pulling it upwards secured to an antenna (we had a cable box, so we didn’t need to turn the knob). Even then we sometimes had to smack the side of it to give us clear picture and sound.

An anecdote that has become family lore, retold on many holidays and birthdays: When we finally got a new TV my brother explained to my youngest sister that we shouldn’t hit the new one and she asked how we would make it work then. (I have three younger siblings, a brother and two sisters, BTW.)

emperorbailey· 97 weeks ago

I suddenly just remembered my mom making me sit in certain spots in the living room so that we could get a clearer signal.

@borednihilist· 101 weeks ago

I had a Discman that played MP3 discs that I used in my car then via a tape adapter, and I had to keep a rubberband around the whole Discman or else it would stay open.

I also had a laptop which I once fried the hard drive of (losing all my TA grading info, which was, alas, not backed up) by slipping and accidentally smashing my hand onto the keyboard (which then also didn’t work). I had to use a USB keyboard and USB mouse. I used it for five years until it overheated and died.

I learned my lesson about backing stuff up, BTW. I have two external HDs as well as my internal HD in my desktop with important stuff backed up in duplicate or triplicate.

@shalahoyden· 101 weeks ago

Due to the fact that my hands refuse to hold anything for more than 15 seconds at a time before releasing anything in them, just about every cassette player, portable cd player, minidisc (yeah, I actually loved that thing) and even my old pocket rocker from when I was very little had to be rigged by my Dad to stay shut or work. My favorite was the brand new cd player that I dropped Christmas morning

Shirami· 101 weeks ago

Let’s see, On my last computer’s the fan of the power supply had a bad bearing causing it to make a constant ticking noise as the fan hit it’s guard, had to have the whole case on a 45 segree angle to make it shut up, kept working for two more years like that.

Fixed the freezer door on my fridge with a piece of bamboo that just so happend to have the same diameter as the hinge that broke while the main door itself is kept shut by two pieces of velcro i glued on there

@lzyglutenfremom· 101 weeks ago

When I was in high school (so, talking like 89/90-ish here..) we had a tv set that we just would not throw out… firs the colors went crazy.. as people or things moved across the screen from one side to the other, the colors would change.. then it got to where if you turned it off, you had to hit it a few times before it would come back on.. then it would only work “properly” if it was laying on it’s side (so you either laid on the floor or cricked your neck 90 degrees to the left..) and eventually we just left the thing on all the time.. One day (sadly, I was not home to see this) it finally died in (so I was told) a glorious rain of sparks that shot all over the room.. My parents soon happily bought a new tv set.. I have no idea really why we held on to that thing for so long, other then it kind of became the family joke.. there was at least one other tv in the house, but for some insane reason.. we just would not let go of that thing until it died in flames..

bionelly· 101 weeks ago

My husband is into ham radio, but we don’t really have money to spend on equipment, so he built an antenna out of tent poles and a cardboard box, with wires strung through where they need to be, held up with a mop handle stuck in a milk jug full of sand. It’s incredibly ugly, but it works.

And it wasn’t really a long-term thing, but last year when we had a massive power outage in the middle of summer, he rigged a fan to run off the batteries from our daughter’s Power Wheels.

emperorbailey· 97 weeks ago

In 2004, 7 of us bachelors moved in together into one big house. We each had different video game systems, and decided that they should all be hooked up to the TV at the same time.
We had 2-3 Nintendos, a couple Segas, PS1 & 2, an Xbox. I believe at one point we had 9 hooked up to that TV.
It was an incredible feat. Only I and maybe one of my roommates had the wherewithal to go behind the TV and mess with ANYTHING.

Scientific Progress Goes “Drunk”

BIG BIG CLOSEOUT SALE in the HE Store!

These shirts are marked down to $14.95 and leaving the HE Blind Ferret Store for good!

Team Edward, Ewok Stare, Show Us On The Trilogy, Winter Is Coming and Sci-Five
Ladies versions of these shirts are on sale too!

These shirts are marked down to $9.95!

Ovipositor, Unicorn Poop, And My Axe (Ladies), SyFy Movie Title Generator and British Knights

Hey check out this beer bottle I designed for Stone Brewing Co’s collaboration with Wil Wheaton and Drew Curtis. This was really the best kind of project to be a part of because A) The people involved are super great, B) It was fun and I was given a near total creative flexibility and C) There’s beer at the end.

Comments (21)

Leshka· 102 weeks ago

‘Ka-Break’ and a Calvin and Hobbes reference first thing in the morning? My day just got better!

1 · active 101 weeks ago

Rogerborg· 101 weeks ago

Let’s characterise it as a possibly inadvertent homage. It’s hard to put together a piquant sentence that’s *not* a gestalt of Shakespeare, Roddenberry, Whedon, Watterson and, uh, Wheaton. Anne, o’ that lk.

In other news, I just watched Hannibal and ohhhhh, OK, now I get it. I suspect that it will be the Ultraviolet of the 2010’s.

nonbeliever93· 102 weeks ago

Eli’s dialogue in the last panel is comic perfection.

1 · active 102 weeks ago

hijinksensue· 102 weeks ago

Hey thanks!

thevoxpopuli· 102 weeks ago

Best. onomatopoeia ever.

jiynx· 102 weeks ago

dude, onomatopoeia make the very BEST sound effects.

@jramboz· 102 weeks ago

DAT BOTTLE!!

We must haveses it. We must haveses it, precioussss…

@borednihilist· 102 weeks ago

“Imagineering” is my new favorite neologism!

3 replies · active 102 weeks ago

@borednihilist· 102 weeks ago

And if you didn’t coin it, this is the first I’ve heard it, and I love it.

furrbear· 102 weeks ago

Um… DISNEY. “Imagineer” has been an actual job title there for ages.

hijinksensue· 102 weeks ago

I totally got that from Disney. I used to want to be an imagineer (theme park designer, problem solver, model maker, etc) for Disney. Still seems like a pretty awesome job.

thehappysmith· 102 weeks ago

Your label is so awesome I peed a little. I really hope I’ll be able to get some of that out here in NC. I don’t even really care if the beer’s good (it will be) I just want to set that (empty) bottle (or six) on my mantle.

1 · active 102 weeks ago

hijinksensue· 102 weeks ago

The beer is supposed to be VERY good according to those who have tried it. I don’t know what Stone’s policy is on ordering/shipping/supplying to other states, but Im sure that will be public knowledge once the beer comes out.

vitanienna· 102 weeks ago

MUST. OWN. THAT. BEER.

Ali· 102 weeks ago

Is the Fanta by ANY chance a Homestuck reference?

3 replies · active 101 weeks ago

dan· 101 weeks ago

No, it is a terrible soda.

gabepuratekuta· 101 weeks ago

Correction; a terrible soda that’s not endorsed by band full of clowns

hijinksensue· 101 weeks ago

It is not.

runcibletune· 102 weeks ago

The alt text reminds me of Firefly dialogue. 🙂

1 · active 101 weeks ago

hijinksensue· 101 weeks ago

It kind of does sound like Wash, youre right.

Chaucer59· 99 weeks ago

Fanta: red, orange, purple, green colored sugar-flavored soda.

The Archivist

The HijiNKS ENSUE Store is the place for where you can buy my books and shirts and plushies and what not. GO AT IT!

Here’s a follow up to THIS COMIC (in case you missed that one). Eli’s movie hoarding is a very real thing. He has hundreds, if not thousands of disc-based entertainment units at his home. Though Eli’s reasoning as displayed in the comic above is my own. I’ve always felt that the phone is going to ring and the president is going to tell me the Earth has 20 minutes left, my family has won passage on the Spark Ark and I am in charge of ensuring the continuity of popular culture with regard to film for the future civilizations that will occupy our generation ship as it searches for a new home among the stars. You know? That common fear that regular people have.

Because of this, I have always tried to own a copy of every movie I consider to be the most important. The Princess Bride, Ghostbusters, Back To The Future, American Psycho, Dances With Wolves, There Will Be Blood, Stand By Me, The Wrath Of Khan… the list goes on. The importance of the film usually determines the format in which I preserve it. The “good” movies get a DVD backup to my home file server. The “better” movies get the DVD backup and a physical DVD copy (meaning I already own it back from when DVD’s were the hot shit) and the “BEST” movies get all of that plus the physical DVD copy has been replaced with a Blu Ray copy (which usually comes with another DVD copy and a useless-DRM’d-expires-after-a-certain-time digital copy). I’m sure it won’t be long before I am rebuying Se7en and Fight Club on Holographic Neural Interface Cubes (HNICs) or Cultured Petri Dish Sentient Spore Colonies (Sony doesn’t allow that one to be abbreviated), but for now I am happy to have The Dark Knight in HD/Surround Sound in a bug out bag ready for the cataclysmic call.

COMMENTERS: Which movies go on your Space Ark list?

Comments (31)

Kier· 102 weeks ago

Time Bandits. It would be on my ark for myriad reasons, but most importantly because I’d probably be the only one to take it on my ark.

bubujin_2· 102 weeks ago

The Lord of the Rings trilogy–but the extended version, not the theatrical release version.

@WaxBullets· 102 weeks ago

The Godfather parts 1 and 2. We’ll just tell the mutants they never made a third one.

1 · active 102 weeks ago

Videostoreguy· 102 weeks ago

There are some things that must be edited for the sake of a reborn humanity. Anything with Lindsay Lohan is a good start.

scarlettb· 102 weeks ago

Loads of Cary Grant/Katherine Hepburn/etc type films. Specifically, Charade, Adam’s Rib, Bringing Up Baby, His Girl Friday.

Greg· 102 weeks ago

Ooooh 12 Monkeys. One of these days, when I watch it James is going to not be shot at the airport, stop Dr Peters and live happily ever after in the past with Kathryn. Fingers crossed for next time!

Cherie· 102 weeks ago

Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead. I will never stop recommending this film.

Jenn Jamison· 102 weeks ago

For would be Labyrinth, Deep Blue Sea, and The Resident Evil Series. Oh, and we can’t forget Lord Of The Rings Extended Versions.

bobbonsall· 102 weeks ago

Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band. Like all the greatest tragedies in history, we must never forget.

Nathan deGargoyle· 102 weeks ago

Casablanca, Citizen Kane, The Third Man, The Man in the White Suit, The Graduate, Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid, 2001, High Sierra, Ice Cold in Alex,
Oh and No Limit, not because it’s a great film (it’s not even a great George Formby film) but because it’s set (rather than filmed) in the Isle of Man and is therefore our only hope of filmic immortality.

4 replies · active 102 weeks ago

Tim Harris· 102 weeks ago

Weren’t the Thomas the Tank Engine stories set on the Isle of Man? I’m old enough to remember a screen version with Ringo Starr’s voiceover, and I seem to recall it was fairly true to the books.

Adam D.· 102 weeks ago

It was the Isle of Sodor, but… nice try 🙂

Tim Harris· 102 weeks ago

Yes – that was the hint that it was actually set on the Isle of Man.

w00hoo· 102 weeks ago

Not ‘TT : Closer to the Edge’ what it actually being filmed there?

thehappysmith· 102 weeks ago

The original original trilogy, the one that actually revolutionized filmmaking back when it came out in the 70s and 80s and not any of the things that followed.
Also the entire collection of Monty Python’s Flying Circus, including the fourth season. And Ghostbusters, but not the sequel. Am I watching the things in the archive? Because I need The Hunt for Red October, Get Shorty, and The Fifth Element as well. The archive needs movies that were pretty good but also kinda bad.

Also, is Eli hiring? I work in a lab with tools now, but his lab and tools sound better.

2 replies · active 102 weeks ago

Candace· 102 weeks ago

Don’t forget Monty Python and the Holy Grail and Monty Python’s Life of Bryan. I would also add the entirety of Fawlty Towers. Some of those eps were so funny I hurt myself laughing.

lou· 102 weeks ago

What about Monty Python and The Meaning of Life? That has a few messages to pass down to the future, like the meaning of life.

furrbear· 102 weeks ago

I’m more into TV shows than movies, but …

Bedazzled – the 1967 original with Dudley Moore and Peter Cook, NOT the execrable remake.

Tootsie.

Does the miniseries of Shogun count as a “movie”? I say it does.

TRON and TRON Legacy.

The Rocky Horror Picture Show.

Chicken Run.

Legally Blonde.

Flash Gordon. (Yes, the ’80s version with the Queen soundtrack.)

How to Train Your Dragon.

Running Cool (NOT “Cool Runnings” – very different things.)

Spinal Tap!

They Live.

Time Bandits.

Yellow Submarine.

Little Shop of Horrors (the Frank Oz version).

Daniel J. Hogan· 102 weeks ago

Hard Target and Brain Donors.

Bryce· 102 weeks ago

Men In Black 1 and 3, Alien, Aliens, Princess Bride, Raiders of the Lost Ark, Last Crusade, Blues Brothers, Blazing Saddles

@persoconchii· 102 weeks ago

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, Lilo & Stitch, Fifth Element, How to Train your Dragon, Indiana Jones trilogy boxset and Cowboy Bebop complete series

that is all

oneswellfoop· 102 weeks ago

You need a few “obscurities”…

“The President’s Analyst” contained so much truth, both for its time, the 60s, and for today (the President’s NEED for regular psychotherapy, American spy agencies fighting each other more than fighting enemies, implantable micro-telephones created by an evil Phone Company, and the immortal line “I’ m NOT paranoid, your really ARE all spies!”) plus James Coburn NOT playing a superspy, Godfrey Cambridge, Severn Darden and a very young William “KITT” Daniels

“Silent Running” was the only sci-fi movie that correctly predicted environmental collapse AND had Bruce Dern go bonkers for a good purpose

“Head”, the Monkees and Jack Nicholson do dada. Nuff said.

“Drop Dead Fred” was Rik Mayall’s true tour-de-force and the most accurate depiction of what happens when you grow up but your imaginary friends don’t fade away (don’t ask me how I know – also ‘Foster’s Home’ owes everything to this movie)

“Wagons East” a showcase of cringeworthy stereotypes played for laughs, an even better deconstruction of Westerns than “Blazing Saddles” (IMO) and John Candy’s last movie

animation would be best represented by “The Iron Giant” and the “Wallace & Grommet” move (and maybe “Over the Hedge”, Dreamworks’ highest-grossing release NOT to get several sequels and William Shatner’s greatest performance)

These are the movies I show to any friends who declare themselves bored with current media… and they never talk about it again.

agarda· 102 weeks ago

Princess Bride, bitches!

/end thread

pablos· 102 weeks ago

Usual Suspects, Saving Private Ryan, Ninja Scroll, Flying High (Airplane to the Seppos out there), LotR Extended versions, The Departed, Nolan’s Batman Trilogy, Toy Story, The Great Escape, 28 Days Later

w00hoo· 102 weeks ago

Little Miss Sunshine.
Reservoir Dogs.
Restless Natives.
Dogma.
Ronin.

And that will do.

There’s a bit of everything there. Some tight story telling, some fantastic car chases, Scottish scenery with Big Country playing over the top. Real tears (if you can watch the final run of the Clown and the Wolfman through Edinburgh and not cry you are clinically dead). Some blood and some knob jokes. Perfection.

Sam· 102 weeks ago

Phenomenon
The first 3 Star Wars films (though none of the prequels)
Every other Star Trek film
Gross Point Blank
The Avengers (though not necessarily the lead-ups)

but most importantly, Idiocracy — It will be vitally important in the post-apocalyptic future that we have a very good example of what NOT to do!

1 · active 101 weeks ago

@CX316· 101 weeks ago

the “Every other ST film” rule doesn’t work since after First Contact… Because it leaves you stuck with Nemesis but then skips the reboot.

@borednihilist· 102 weeks ago

Pan’s Labyrinth, Blade Runner, Alien, Brazil, 12 Monkeys, Star Wars OT, Casablanca, Vertigo, The Big Lebowski, The Terminator, and everything Whedon.

gabepuratekuta· 102 weeks ago

Beer’s everything to Eli XD

Hmmm… Bill & Ted, the original Star Wars trilogy, Serenity, Batman (both the 60s and Burton’s versions), Spaceballs, Silent Movie, pretty much every other Mel Brooks movie, Star Trek: Of Gods and Men, the Crayon Shin-chan films–subbed only

Chaucer59· 99 weeks ago

There Will Be Blood? Really? The milkshake scene wasp pretty good, but I couldn’t stay awake through most of it. I’ll never understand that thing winning awards. The theater audience where I saw it ( the ones who stayed–half of the walked out at the halfway point) actually booed the film and left the theater cursing its director to various levels of hell.

1 · active 97 weeks ago

emperorbailey· 97 weeks ago

They were all old-timey oil tycoons, and didn’t approve of the way they were portrayed. It’s just the kind of neighborhood you live in.

A Place Of Respect

This comic, which begins a new mini story arc, is 100% true (except for all the parts that didn’t happen). I did find the three movies listed in panel 1 in the Walmart bargin bin for less than $8 apiece, and I did feel a pang of bitter sweet irony upon being happy that I was able to acquire three films I consider to be essential classics for 24ish dollars and sad that they were crammed into a sadness tub with Scary Movie 2, Alvin & The Chipmunks: The Squeakquel and Fantastic 4: Rise Of The Silver Surfer. Oddly enough, most of the non-essential movies in the bargain bathtub were squeakquels… er, sequels. Interesting. Maybe the lesson is to make one impossibly shitty movie, then stop. Just resist the urge to explore the heretofore unknown avenues of shit the first film left open. Hmm, something to think abou… Oh, wait. What’s that, Hollywood? “No,” you say? Just a flat out, “NO?” Oh, and a, “Hey kid why don’tcha go fuck yerself while yer at it?” as well? Fair enough. I appreciate you taking the time to hear me ou… oh, just get right on to fucking myself then? Got it. Can do.

COMMENTERS: What’s your favorite seemingly underrated movie? I’m not saying Stand By Me or Willy Wonka are underrated. I assumed they are perfect rated. But I bet dollars to Death Blossoms that The Last Starfighter doesn’t always get its due.

Comments (127)

Adam D.· 103 weeks ago

Hudson Hawk, to me was an underrated film. Bruce Willis (with hair… some of it, anyways.) and Danny Aiello, ripping off one liners and comebacks like they never go out of style.

“Oh Bunny! Ball Ball!”
“I think Bunny’s got today’s ball-balls….”

I still get razzed whenever I suggest it, but… I’m glad I got my $5.00 blu ray copy, to treasure forever.

“How’s my commenting? 1-800-I’m Gonna Fuckin Die!’

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8 replies · active 99 weeks ago

geekfangirl· 103 weeks ago

Baby Geniuses is a guilty pleasure of mine. It is also consistently rated among the worst movies of all time.

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LazyDolphin· 103 weeks ago

House of the Long Shadows . . . a very wink-wink riff on Agatha Christie’s “And Then There Were None” from the early 80’s, with a bunch of horror greats: Vincent Price, Peter Cushing, Christopher Lee, and an ancient John Carradine (father of Wild Bill, Kung Fu, and Nerd Revenge Carradine)

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@samldanach· 103 weeks ago

Mine is probably Ice Pirates. Though, admittedly, it isn’t aging particularly well. I’ll still watch the hell out of it, though.

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3 replies · active 102 weeks ago

Dave· 103 weeks ago

The Hudsucker Proxy. Everybody jumps to the Big Lebowski as the Cohen Brothers’ comedy masterpiece but I tell ya, The Hudsucker Proxy can give it a solid run for its money.

You know… for kids.

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3 replies · active 102 weeks ago

Sam· 103 weeks ago

Mrs. Doubtfire and Cool Runnings were staples of my childhood. Neither is considered particularly great, but I love them both to this day.

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leeapeea· 103 weeks ago

The Sandlot (though this may be one everyone loves enough that they don’t need to talk about how much they love it?). The Cutting Edge. Stigmata. Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure. That one I quite literally wore the tape out on the VHS. Nothing like cute optimistic teens and goofy optimistic dictators and historical figures to make a 12-year-old’s day.

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1 reply · active 103 weeks ago

Царь· 103 weeks ago

The gold and silver for underrated films has to go to “The Matrix Reloaded” and “The Matrix Revolutions.” Granted, they were not groundbreaking, iconic cinematic masterpieces like “The Matrix.” But, lets be fair, little could have matched what the original accomplished. They are good in their own right.

The bronze goes to “Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within.” Again, people compare it to the deep and intricate story lines from the games. An unjust comparison, to say the least. Please, lets give it its due. And, for the love of all things good and holy, please stop trying to convince me that “Final Fantasy VII – Advent Children” is anything but flashy fan service with a nothing of a plot. It is excruciatingly overrated, and in that category earns the gold.

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Jason· 103 weeks ago

Space Jam. Never has there been a finer piece of cinema involving a professional athlete teaming up with animated characters to defeat aliens in a basketball game.

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1 reply · active 103 weeks ago

JeffCG· 103 weeks ago

Joe vs. the Volcano. It’s the only Meg Ryan movie I watch intentionally, and Abe Vigoda and Nathan Lane as nativzied Jews addicted to orange soda is probably the most ridiculous thing ever to appear on screen.

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3 replies · active 97 weeks ago

HeyZeusKreesto· 103 weeks ago

I always feel like Watchmen gets rated poorly, but I thought it was one of the best comic book movies of all time. Snyder captured the world of Watchmen as best you can. You could see specific panels from the comic come to life. I also thought the ending worked much better than the comic ending when translating it into a movie. Not to say the ending of the comic was bad. Just different mediums.

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4 replies · active 102 weeks ago

@JustinHoskie· 103 weeks ago

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. Though I can appreciate “Willy Wonka,” (that word used to be “tolerate”), and I can admit that Gene Wilder is the better Wonka, I feel like “Charlie” is just a better adaptation of the book overall, and it’s one of only two films (the other being Little Shop of Horrors) that I can just watch to feel joy.

And then there’s Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter. Oh god, what an awesome way to spend an hour and a half. It was everything I ever wanted out of a film titled “Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter.”

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3 replies · active 102 weeks ago

Kirby· 103 weeks ago

I like Scary Movie 2… at least compared to every other possible piece of crap that has the word ‘movie’ in it that’s been out in the last few.years. I’ve never cared for Willy Wonka… for the same reason the author tried to.violently wrest the rights away from them after it was made.

As for a favorite under-appreciated movie… I’ve really got nothing, mostly because I’ve never really disliked a movie. Except Jarhead for reasons. I can find something to like in just about everything.

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Guest· 103 weeks ago

Demolition man, It is hilarious and entertaining every time I watch it, Despite the fact that it’s rated low

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2 replies · active 103 weeks ago

@DanStokoe· 103 weeks ago

The Rock, despite Michael Bay’s penchant for explosions where there need not be any and despite Nic Cage it is a very watchable film helped largely by Sean Connery and Ed Harris with a stellar supporting cast. Just not sure how under appreciated it is, most of which would be down to Bay & his Transformer efforts. And Nic Cage.

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2 replies · active 99 weeks ago

Lynne· 103 weeks ago

I tend to get made fun of for how much I love Van Helsing (Hugh Jackman). It’s ridiculous and over-the-top and the source of one of the worst Mary Sues I’ve seen (quite an accomplishment), but it’s pretty clear that everyone involved knew all of that and decided to have fun anyway. It’s my go-to film for when I just want to enjoy myself and not have to think too much.

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1 reply · active 103 weeks ago

Mary· 103 weeks ago

Phantom of the Paradise and Shock Treatment. Both weird cult flicks likely to show up in the Bargain Bin.

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1 reply · active 102 weeks ago

@Three_Star_Dave· 103 weeks ago

“Undercover Blues” is a constant joy to my wife and me (and now our daughter, too). There are horrible plot holes and just a lot of silliness — but there’s some great bantering super-spy romance between Dennis Quaid and Kathleen Turner.

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3 replies · active 102 weeks ago

gabepuratekuta· 103 weeks ago

“Time Bandits”. That is all

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4 replies · active 102 weeks ago

Timothy· 103 weeks ago

A better way to look at it is that them being in the bargain bin means most people either have or have watched those movies. The rest don’t have taste.

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DetailBear· 103 weeks ago

My favourite movie of all time is “Battle Beyond the Stars”. I’ve had a movie night with “The Seven Samurai”, “The Magnificent Seven” and BBtS.

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CatVonAwesome· 103 weeks ago

Or, maybe look at the bright side of that sad tub. Some poor sad sack who was looking for Michael Baysplosions IV may just stumble upon an awesome really good movie instead and buy it cuz its so cheap and then bam! That person’s life is changed forever!

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furrbear· 103 weeks ago

I liked “The Last Starfighter” myself, though I had to wonder about the long term viability of a civilization that essentially walls itself IN.

I’d have to suggest Weird Al Yankovic’s “UHF”. Assuming one likes his rather bonkers form of humor, it’s a really fun movie.

And it’s not really a “movie” and more overlooked now than underrated – but it’s stunning to me how many people these days are completely unaware of how important “Michael Nesmith’s Elephant Parts” was to the development of music video – and thus to TV and movies.

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2 replies · active 102 weeks ago

lou· 103 weeks ago

I have a soft spot for the movie adaptation of HITMAN. Tim Olyphant is just so cool as Agent 47 and they didn’t jack up his look or his methods at all. Just crazy awesome action start to finish. Oh, and we got Olga Kurylenko topless. Winning!

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@borednihilist· 103 weeks ago

I feel like am one of the few fans of Quantum of Solace. Two other favs of mine that I don’t think are much watched are James Franco/Sophia Myles’ Tristan and Isolde and Ewan McGregor/Renee Zellwegger’s Down With Love. I also don’t understand why the Jason Momoa Conan wasn’t better received – it’s everything I could imagine wanting from a Conan movie!

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2 replies · active 102 weeks ago

skoby· 103 weeks ago

I actually quite like wild wild west and waterworld even tho they were total flops I really ebjoyed them and have seen both several times. When a mate came round recently he laughed at my dvd collection… not at my girlfriends disney films and johnny Depp collection but wild wild west and waterworld

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coasterbear· 103 weeks ago

I don’t think I’ve seen it in the bargain bins, but FDR: American Badass! is one of those movies. Machine guns in the arms of his wheelchair, Hitler as a werewolf, and hot tub action all over the place. This one has it all…..

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1 reply · active 102 weeks ago

Jon· 103 weeks ago

“Hawk the Slayer” is a brilliantly story, hamstrung by a non-existent budget, and Jack Palance. Now THERE is a remake waiting to happen.

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Greg· 103 weeks ago

I thought Mall Rats was pretty good. Jason Lee was hilarious.

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benthorp· 103 weeks ago

I have soft spots for a number of poorly rated films. I still like to watch “Antitrust” which managed to capture some of the spirit behind Open Source software. Die Hard 2 isn’t as bad as many people make it out to be (granted, it’s the weakest of the bunch)

Other firm favourites for a lazy evening’s viewing: TimeCop (best JCvD sci-fi evaar), Fire Down Below (not sure why I like this film so much, but it’s definitely one of my favourite Seagal films).

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3 replies · active 102 weeks ago

theragingcelt· 103 weeks ago

Congo is a guilty pleasure of mine. Smart gorillas, a young and biscuity Laura Linney, goofy dialog, an afropop infused Jerry Goldsmith score and a Bruce Campbell cameo.

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@hombredehiel· 103 weeks ago

I’m the only person that thinks Waterworld was a good film or what? Because I’ve seen it three times and i still like it.

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1 reply · active 102 weeks ago

Robert· 103 weeks ago

“Toy Soldiers” A drug cartel takes over a boys’ boarding school full of pranksters and boys that have a problem with authority. Great phone sex scene and nice recipe for hidden booze.

Just mention the title to the uninitiated and they as if it’s the one with the army guy toys that go crazy.

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1 reply · active 103 weeks ago

Laikai· 103 weeks ago

Ravenous.
Quirky, funny and also horror all in the one movie – the wendigo myth done it’s justice. So few people even know of it, let alone have watched it.

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geekygirluk· 103 weeks ago

Flight of the Navigator. It’s dated now, but I still have a squishy spot in my heart for it. And it was the first use of that ‘liquid metal’ CGI that looked absolutely AWESOME! Possibly responsible for my being a massive sci-fi geek.

Also David Lynch’s Dune. Again, dated but still LOVE it as an adaptation.

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3 replies · active 97 weeks ago

@BigNed· 103 weeks ago

As odd as it may sound, considering its critical acclaim at the time it came out, but I think people have begun sleeping on The Untouchables. I don’t know if it’s because The Sopranos hijacked the mob genre or what, but damn that movie is good.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer (the original movie) was a victim of terrible marketing as someone decided to sell the campiest of camp B-movies as an action flick. Paul Reubens’ death scene is worth the $5 all by itself.

I’m also a huge fan of Blood of Heroes, a Rutger Hauer post-apocalyptic flick that features a couple of “before they were stars” appearances and some awesome action. The story is simple and the execution is great.

Lastly, Grandma’s Boy is the funniest Happy Madison production I’ve seen (probably because Adam Sandler isn’t in it). The cast is brilliant and it’s constantly hilarious.

Honorable mentions – Repo: The Genetic Opera; The Pretender (TV series), Blind Fury, Beastmaster, Darkman, Cloak and Dagger, Gotcha!, Blitz and The Rocketeer.

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3 replies · active 102 weeks ago

zee· 103 weeks ago

I’m going to have to call Tremors and Tremors 2. So, so bad, and yet so funny in its badness….

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3 replies · active 102 weeks ago

Eric· 103 weeks ago

Well one of mine was mentioned but all of Ernest movies are a guitly pleasure for me and some of my friends…Just classic humor that’s create to make you laugh and not worry about anything else…Also another one…The 3Ninja’s…i’m 28 and i still enjoy the bad sound effects and how they try to make you believe that a 80 year old guy could fight like that. I can’t wait until my son is a bit older and watch all those movies with him!

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@MsMollyD· 103 weeks ago

I still think Kathryn Bigelow’s Strange Days is one of the best distopic sci fi films of all time. And yet no one I recommend it to has ever heard of it, much less seen it. Plus you can’t tell me that with the advent of Google Glass we aren’t one small step away from the “playback” experience. Memories sold underground like street drugs! A murderer that makes his victims watch from his POV as he kills them! Angela Bassett as a total badass who saves the day and gets the boy!

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1 reply · active 99 weeks ago

Dewy· 103 weeks ago

I absolutely LOVE Kung Fu Hustle. It’s like a live-action martial arts cartoon. Runner up would be Kung Pow! Enter the Fist. What can I say. I guess I just love wacky Chop Socky.

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2 replies · active 97 weeks ago

90percentgeek· 103 weeks ago

There’s an awesome Mel Brooks movie called “To be or not to be” which isn’t very well known but I love. It’s not as zany as his other stuff but it has Christopher Lloyd as a batty german colonel, and Mel Brooks dressed up as Hitler.
Also Murdered by Death which features Peter Falk as himself and Peter Sellers as a mad chinese detective. Its a massively underrated film but I think it’s comedy gold!

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5 replies · active 102 weeks ago

Lurkie· 102 weeks ago

I know I’m among geeks here, but the rest of the world doesn’t seem to appreciate The Fifth Element. Yes yes, Milla boobies are good, but aside from that, it’s just a goofy fun time. Bruce Willis playing a sullen tough guy, what a novel idea! I’ve even taught my 9yo daughter to say “Corbin, I have no fire”

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1 reply · active 99 weeks ago

Bill Murphy· 102 weeks ago

Lake Placid.
A horror movie that was more of a comedy. Betty White is in it. She says to a cop “If I had a D**k, this is when I’d tell ya to suck it!” Love Betty! 😉

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thesurfmonkey· 102 weeks ago

“Addams Family Values” is an underrated classic for the ages.

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Jeff A· 102 weeks ago

The Shawshank Redemption. I always recommend it. http://shawshankr.com

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1 reply · active 102 weeks ago

KingMeIV· 102 weeks ago

Sunshine. I don’t know how it’s rated, but surprisingly few people seem to have actually seen it considering how amazing of a sci-fi flick it is. Lots of similarities to Event Horizon, but with what I consider to be a much tighter story with superior characters (and actors playing them).

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BaneDeadpool· 102 weeks ago

Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure! That movie was swapped out almost daily with Wayne’s World for much of my tween years.

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1 reply · active 102 weeks ago

Bryce· 102 weeks ago

Everyone who’s seen it loves it, but The Princess Bride is not something that looks like it’d be as good as it is so I know a lot of folks who skipped it. Then it hits you with absolute sincere charm and you feel ten years old again, without a cynical bone in your body.

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toddwright· 102 weeks ago

Uwe Bowl. What a payoff.

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FSilvermane· 102 weeks ago

“The Adventures of Baron Munchhausen” was, from what I can tell, relegated to the dustbin of failure after it came out because I can find almost no one who has heard of it. That movie to me was amazing,..I mean Robin Williams as the King of the Moon [“you must refer to me by my full title,.. King of Everything. Rei di Tutto. But you may call me Ray.”] ,….. John Neville as the Baron,…. Uma Thurman as Venus,…its just a good all around movie ,..its funny and actually has a moral to it which is something most movies these days lack,….

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1 reply · active 102 weeks ago

@andtheargonauts· 102 weeks ago

Dragonslayer. Amazing stop-motion dragon scenes and the first Disney boobies since Fantasia.

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Mndrew· 102 weeks ago

Equilibrium and Ultraviolet (the Mila J. movie, not the even better BBC mini-series) are two that I can’t help but watch every time they come on.

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Cherie· 102 weeks ago

Strictly Ballroom (the least known of Baz Luhrman’s films)
Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead (a MUST, MUST, MUST See! Seriously! Go watch it now if you haven’t seen it yet!)

And the one’s everyone thinks I should be ashamed of but I am not:
Tango and Cash
Big Trouble in Little China

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Chaucer59· 99 weeks ago

I really enjoyed Ahhnold’s “Last Action Hero.” The jokes were mostly well-timed and brilliantly executed. The kid on bike is riding down hill, leading a high-speed chase after convincing himself he can’t get hurt in a movie and suddenly realizes he’s the comic relief–that was priceless. And the villain, transferred out of the movie, shooting an innocent bystander only to realize that he doesn’t hear sirens. He shouts out “I’ve just shot this man in cold blood!” The only response is a disgruntled neighbor shouting at him to shut up so people can sleep. It had its clunky moments, but overall it was a lot of fun. I later saw that the New Yorker gave it a positive review. Everyone else panned it.

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Larry Frazier· 99 weeks ago

How can you mock Face/Off? It’s one of the best films ever, and how often do you get to see the 2 main actors switch roles between being good and evil? Ok, not including Arnold Schwartzenegger in Total Recall)

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emperorbailey· 97 weeks ago

Scott Pilgrim vs The World is and will always be one of my very favorite movies. I watch it often.
I think it actually lost money at the box office.

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Gordon· 93 weeks ago

Golden Child!!! “My dear, sweet brother Numsi has forgiven me!”
Also buckaroo bansai!

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Conclave

Apparently my finger is squarely on the twin pulses of the 12th Doctor casting situation, because when I stared into the untempered Vortex and asked myself who the next Doctor should be the very first name that came to mind was the unpronouncable one belonging to Chiwetel Ejiofor (CAUTION: His name is a killing word). So is this how we’re doing things now? I just DECIDE on the ways in which I want the universe to be awesome and the pieces all start to fall into place like so much reverse JENGA? I am 100% OK with this.

I have a store where I sell books and shirts. If you buy that stuff I can pay my mortgage and feed my family like a regular dude with a real job.

It was probably right around the moment someone said, “Hey, maybe not a lanky white dude for The Doctor this time?” that C.E.’s intensely impressive talent, range and ability to say something softly, calmly and so terrifyingly serious that you know he means business and is NOT to be trifled with began to stick in my brain as a potential successor to the Sonic Screwdriver. Imagine the simple, calculated and honest way The Operative from Serenity explained to people how they had failed to meet his expectations and exactly how they were going to die… now apply that same badassery and emotional weight to a “Doctor speech.” That shit is chilling. I want that in the blue box.

How badass would it be if A) he was cast as the Doctor and B) a few years from now they just go ahead and use his actual name as the name of The Doctor? It sounds Gallifreyan enough for me.

COMMENTERS: Dream-cast The Doctor and his next companion.

Comments (85)

hijinksensue· 103 weeks ago

I do not like this news/rumor:
http://io9.com/is-this-the-face-of-our-new-doctor…

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2 replies · active 103 weeks ago

Ams· 103 weeks ago

me neither i sincerely hope this is just a rumor

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90percentgeek· 103 weeks ago

Really? Why? I know it’s not who you might have wanted (if indeed he gets the role) but in everything I’ve seen him in (especially Black Mirror) he was a very good actor. And the Doctor role (like Neil Gaiman said) is very much about being pleasantly surprised by what a guy you didn’t expect in the role is able to bring to the character.
Plus I get a sort of Sylvester McCoy vibe off the guy!

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TheWatcher· 103 weeks ago

I hate to tell you this, but the original source of the Chiwetel Ejiofor rumour is the Daily Mail. Over here in Old Blighty, The Daily Mail has a reputation for being less than accurate. Much less than accurate, actually.

Franky, I rate the chances of me getting the part over The Daily Mail getting it right.

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2 replies · active 103 weeks ago

Paige· 103 weeks ago

Damn it.

I’m not touching the 12th Doctor discussion (well I am, but I want no part of it), but Chiwetel Ejiofor actually would be a great Doctor.

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@posthamster· 103 weeks ago

TheWatcher is actually being a bit too kind here with “less than accurate”.

Basically, imagine Fox News as a newspaper, only a bit more racist and ring wing, with less of a grasp on morals and ethics, and a really creepy obsession with young women.

And above all a total and utter disdain for anything remotely resembling anything that might even be mistaken for a fact.

Oh, and in DailyMailLand everything either gives you or cures cancer, too, for some reason.

Without wishing to Godwin myself, in the 30’s the Mail ran an editorial praising Hitler and the blackshirts

But since then it’s drifted a bit more to the right.

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@neums· 103 weeks ago

Ejiofor’s name was bandied about when they were speculating on who’d replace Tennant, as well. It would be cool to see him in the role though, nevertheless.

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1 reply · active 103 weeks ago

@neums· 103 weeks ago

As an aside, Moffat said that when they were casting 11, they were looking for someone 40+ for the role, but Smith auditioned for Watson on Sherlock, and Moffat decided he wasn’t a fit for that role, but he’d found his Doctor.

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moffattbooks· 103 weeks ago

since I’m not even on the right rock, I’ll throw my two cents in and say I’ll just wait until the person gets announced. Both Tennant and Smith said they had some time in between being selected and finally being announced so probably the same situation here.

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oneswellfoop· 103 weeks ago

If you’re going to go with a far-out prediction, you can’t beat the one proposed by other webcomic Capes N Babes: http://www.capesnbabes.com/2013/06/07/873-doctor-…
Roger Daltrey!
not just for the obvious “Who” wordplay, but also…
(1) he used to have the same hair as Tom Baker… and has more of it left
(2) instead of “alons-y” or “geronimo” he can just yell “YEEEAAAHHH” (if CBS will let him)
(3) I remember him guesting on several episodes of “Sliders” as what was essentially an Evil Time Lord. He was the best thing on the show at the time (not that difficult, I know).
Just sayin’

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Faye· 103 weeks ago

It’s probably going to be some unknown. This sort of casting rumour isn’t a new thing, though.

Just watch Curse of Fatal Death (Comic Relief themselves have put it up here:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Do-wDPoC6GM ) – the Doctor blows through half a dozen regenerations in 20 minutes, and just about every actor to play the Doctor was rumoured to be ‘the next Doctor’ at one point or another. (Joanna Lumley was rumoured for Five, for example.)

If you don’t want to watch, the Curse of Fatal Death Doctors were: Rowan Atkinson, Richard E. Grant, Jim Broadbent, Hugh Grant, Joanna Lumley.

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2 replies · active 103 weeks ago

Tom· 103 weeks ago

Joanna Lumley would have rocked actually. And for those who don’t know who she is, she was Patsy on AbFab.

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90percentgeek· 103 weeks ago

Why wouldn’t you want to watch Curse of the Fatal Death – it was awesome! And of course Richard E. Grant finally got to go on and play a villain in mainstream Doctor Who!

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maarvarq· 103 weeks ago

I don’t mind as long as they don’t cast Billie Piper *ugh*http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-2274….

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@BenMS· 103 weeks ago

Someone confirm for me: will this be the last Doctor? I haven’t watched since the Tom Baker days, but I seem to recall that 12 incarnations was the most any Time Lord could have.

That would be a real shame, as I see how much geek-joy the franchise brings to people I care about on a daily basis, and I would hate to see that end.

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7 replies · active 102 weeks ago

nenslo· 103 weeks ago

They’ll find a way round it. To be honest the first thing they should do is cut the late 90s TV movie with Paul McGann from the canon.

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Bryce· 103 weeks ago

I’m pretty sure they already have. The Doctor sure as Hell ain’t half-human.

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Faye· 103 weeks ago

I think last but one – the first regeneration was One into Two, so the twelfth regeneration will be Twelve into Thirteen.

The limit is because regeneration is a kind of mutation, and can lead to defects later down the line. It’s like making photocopies, a copy of a copy of a copy isn’t going to be as clear as the original.

When the Doctor does his funny ‘still got legs!’ thing, it’s not a joke, regeneration could seriously mess him up some day, and there’s no ‘undo’ on that. See also: Each Doctor being less mentally stable than the predecessor.

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scarlettb· 103 weeks ago

Back in the day, the Master had reached the end of his regenerations, and he got a new set from the Time Lords for, like…helping out with something. (I am less than clear on the details.) So I have always thought of regeneration limits as more of an administrative ruling, to prevent Time Lords from just regenerating limitlessly, than a biological restraint. Now that there ARE no other Time Lords, I assume said limits would be revoked.

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lou· 103 weeks ago

The Time Lords gave the Master more lives because they needed him to be a super-soldier or something for the Time War, but he wussed out and high tailed it to the heat-death of the universe.

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Hotsauce· 103 weeks ago

They’ve already said “meh, that’s just something the Doctor said. The Doctor makes shit up all the time.”

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@lzyglutenfremom· 102 weeks ago

I’m half thinking they’ve gotten around that a bit already.. where River gave him her regenerations to bring him back after killing him.. so it’s possible that has already given him some extra lives (which he might not “know” about until it comes into play…)
so we will have to wait and see

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nenslo· 103 weeks ago

The showrunners won’t go for anyone obvious, so if someone’s touted in a news article as “being in the running” then you know for certain they’re not.

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Big John· 103 weeks ago

From what I recall back in the 80s, Time Lords had 12 regenerations. However, The Master was able to get around it and weasel himself another 12 through his dastardly deeds. That said, they haven’t mentioned it at all in the new series and it wouldn’t be the first time cannon got changed without any other explanation.

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3 replies · active 94 weeks ago

@posthamster· 103 weeks ago

Also, I don’t think they ever really established if the “12 regenerations” limit was a physical thing or something enforced by the Time Lords themselves.

If it’s the latter, with the Time Lords all gone then they could just use that as an excuse to ignore the limit.

Oh, and it was mentioned in the Sarah Jane spin off series, I think:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_9D-2HJMD9s

Although I’m not sure if “507” is supposed to just be the doctor being glib.

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Faye· 103 weeks ago

That “507” could be interpreted as ‘I am crawling backwards through an air duct, please stop asking me things.’, so I dunno.

It’s possible, but I don’t think the 500th Doctor would resemble a Time Lord at all by that point. See above, re: mutating regenerations.

Or see http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mawdryn_Undead – the guy with the brain outside his head suffers from unlimited regenerations.

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adamrocketblack· 94 weeks ago

First of ALL,
First of ALL,
Its called math bitches: 12 Regenerations ( 12.5 so far ARE CANNON )
means 13 Doctors.

Although with the new insertion of SAD doctor, between 8-9 … we are going on 13 )
12.5 Regenerations = A regeneration crises after = Evil Doctor= The Valeyard

Of course between body stealing and the Elixer Of Life , the Master earned and scammed 5 extra lifes…
WE already know the Valeyard goes breaks the OLD time lock on Gallifreys past,
or maybe he’ll take the RegenerationEnergy from Donna Noble, and blood from Jack , and make himself TImeLOrd Victorious for realz…

Even the new Bad timelords will give him a new set for breaking them out.

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The Rizz· 103 weeks ago

I still think Don Warrington would make an incredible Doctor.

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Lani· 103 weeks ago

In my dreams the next Doctor and companion are Hugh Laurie and Stephen Fry. Doesn’t matter which one is which, but that would be wonderful. They’re really the only white males I’d be okay with. I’m hoping for a female Doctor.

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3 replies · active 103 weeks ago

lou· 103 weeks ago

Hugh Laurie would be a badass Doctor, if he brought in the same attitude as House.

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janethesecond· 103 weeks ago

Now I’m imagining a Bertie Wooster Doctor. In some ways it’s appropriate, but mostly quite strange.

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Rikonius· 103 weeks ago

If they put Fry and Laurie in, then I think I’d rather see Fry as the Doctor and Laurie as the Master.

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Ceri· 103 weeks ago

I’ve had this discussion with FB friends and on a message board, and the consensus was that it’ll be somone as unknown as Smith was before DW.
That said, the two names floating around that got me excited were: 1. Olivia Colman (probably only known outside the UK for playing Margaret Thatcher’s daughter Carol in The Iron Lady, but she is a brilliant comedic actress with dramatic chops) for the first female Doctor – but she was in The Eleventh Hour as the mother who got possessed by Prisoner Zero, so I’d say her chances are slim to none.
2. Julian Rhind-Tutt, who has almost exclusively been on TV in Britain (he’s had a few small movie parts) and thus is known, but not really famous. He has done comedy (Green Wing) and drama (The Hour), and, most importantly: he’s a Ginger! A sexy Ginger at that!

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3 replies · active 103 weeks ago

Faye· 103 weeks ago

Just noting here, a previous role in the show doesn’t rule out a recurrence. Sixth Doctor actor previously played a Gallifreyan guard captain, who shot at Five.

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Shayz· 103 weeks ago

As Faye said, on the previous role thing, because Karen Gillan appeared in one of the episode during season 4, The Fires of Pompeii as one of the Seers (or whatever they were), before she later became Amy Pond.

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Ceri· 103 weeks ago

I don’t know about Six shooting Five, but Karen Gillan was pretty much unrecognizable in Fires of Pompeii, and any resemblance could have been explained by making her Amy’s distant ancestor. Which works for a companion, but the Doctor is a different animal, and Olivia Colman was pretty recognizable (and memorable, if only for the creep Prisoner teeth) in Eleventh Hour.

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Dave· 103 weeks ago

I did a piece on my website, with my top six choices for the next Doctor:
http://www.zekefilm.org/2013/06/01/opinion-time-f…

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1 reply · active 103 weeks ago

UnderTheDark· 103 weeks ago

Oh, Siddig would be brilliant! And close enough in stature and demeanor that the change wouldn’t be too jarring for the delicate sensibilities of life-long Who fans ;p

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Rikonius· 103 weeks ago

Shocking plot twist: Wil Wheaton knows who it is because Wil Wheaton is going to be the 12th Doctor. Also, the Doctor’s real name is Wesley Crusher. And Stand By Me takes place on Trenzalor.

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2 replies · active 103 weeks ago

hijinksensue· 103 weeks ago

The dead body he finds is… HIS OWN! TIME TRAVEL AAGHAGHAGHAGHAGH!!!!

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Rikonius· 103 weeks ago

And Ace Merrill is Davros!

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Rikonius· 103 weeks ago

On a more serious note, I think that Chiwetel Ejiofor would rock as the Doctor, and I like him a lot more than Idris Elba for the role.
I think Elba is cool, but I think he has too much of a physical presence for the role. I think the Doctor should be scary in a more nerdy manner, and I don’t see Elba pulling that off.

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@jillianbeanpod· 103 weeks ago

I have always said that at some point the Doctor or a companion should be Scouse (i.e. from Liverpool). The Brits here (I’m American, but lived in Liverpool for a while) understand why this would be hilarious.

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tzeentchling· 103 weeks ago

A Doctor with kinky boots. I could see it!

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1 reply · active 103 weeks ago

@hombredehiel· 103 weeks ago

I always thought Eccleston’s leather-jacketed look had more sense than the typical Doctor’s look.

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Michael Corley· 103 weeks ago

His head makes the most adorable noises.

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Bryce· 103 weeks ago

If we’re going for a dream Doctor, I’d throw my vote for Sir Patrick Stewart. Back to the first Doctor’s stubborn old grandpa vibe.

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deadrobot· 103 weeks ago

Tony Todd… CANDYMAN CANDYMAN CANDYMAN!!

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stanley· 103 weeks ago

Nice focus pull in the split panel

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Liam· 103 weeks ago

I would like to see Bill Nighy as the Doctor. He was the museum guide in “Vincent and the Doctor”.

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@FuryOfFirestorm· 103 weeks ago

I’m totally here for a DW that isn’t some pasty white British dude. Idris Elba is a great suggestion, though Chiwetel wouldn’t be a bad pick either.

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2 replies · active 103 weeks ago

90percentgeek· 103 weeks ago

I don’t mind what colour skin he has, but the Doctor has to remain British!

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Candace· 103 weeks ago

Speaking as an American, I actually have to agree with you there. I can’t even imagine a non-British actor as Doctor Who. Regarding recent speculation, I think it might be kind of fun/funny for the Doctor at some point to “wake up” as a woman (which I think is highly unlikely), but even then, the actress would have to be British, or it just wouldn’t feel right.

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anxiety.junkie· 103 weeks ago

My best friend is convinced that it isn’t just MS leaving, but they are going to end the series entirely. But she’s still bitter about the lack of a new season of Torchwood, so I think she’s projecting. I hope she’s projecting. 😛

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Bron· 103 weeks ago

Its a pity in my mind that meera syal has already had a fairly prominant role in one episode as she’d make a fairly awesome doctor who.

Firstly I think we need an older doctor, someone who is more like your favourite teacher (I imagine like one of those older slightly mad science ones or maybe art or drama if you think about them (my english teachers all were ex-steel workers who were insane chain smoking nutters for some reason)) or an eccentric but fun relative when you were a child.

Secondly the female thing. The doctor mentions in “the doctor’s wife” that one of his friends a fellow timelord always had a specific tattoo put somewhere on his or her’s body. This does mean that timelords can change gender canonically. Also add into this the fact that the doctor has been seemingly having more and more violent regenerations and it could be seen as the doctor trying to repress a change he doesn’t want. Maybe he isn’t a fan of being female? Maybe he knows that a female form of the doctor is the precurser of something bad he doesn’t want to happen?

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2 replies · active 103 weeks ago

90percentgeek· 103 weeks ago

In fact, as difficult as it is to fit the scene in canonically, Romana’s regeneration scene during Tom Baker’s tenure featured her trying on several different forms including that of Tom Baker (which he heartily approved of as he said he liked the look of that form). So we know a Time Lord can switch gender. The question is, which actress should take on the role?

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Faye· 103 weeks ago

The form the Doctor approved of was a repeat of the first one she tried, just dressed like him – not actually regenerated into him. Romana just hid her actual face behind the scarf and hat.

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thevoxpopuli· 103 weeks ago

I don’t like the idea that it’s Rory Kinnear, though I do like him. I DEFINITELY want it to be Idris Elba.

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runcibletune· 103 weeks ago

I really liked this comic. No opinion on Doctor Who casting, just really enjoyed reading this.

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Orion M· 103 weeks ago

I’d love Chiwetel, but I’d only love him after my crushing post-Matt Smith depression ended.

Matt Smith is leaving Doctor Who. I’LL NEVER BE HAPPY AGAIN.

(Just like I would never be happy again after I got to the end of Eccleston’s run, actually. Tennant I didn’t mind leaving, it may be sacrilege in some quarters, but I wasn’t all that impressed by the end of his time.)

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1 reply · active 102 weeks ago

maarvarq· 102 weeks ago

Tennant left no scenery unchewed. His turn at the end of Harry Potter and the Goblet of Firewas more understated than his last season as the Doctor.

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@CompassRing· 103 weeks ago

I never really *like* Ejifor. His talent astounds me, and when I’m watching him on stage and in movies I’m always really impressed. But I’ve never seen him in a role where I found myself thinking, “I’d like to hang out with him.” I think the Doctor needs to prompt that.
I like Rory Kinnear, and the Naveen Andrews suggestion someone put up, though.

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90percentgeek· 103 weeks ago

The wierd thing for me is Ejifor is my friend Will’s uncle. I’ll never be able to look at Will again knowing he’s part Time Lord!
I don’t mind who they cast as the Doctor really (no pun intended) as the last 3 choices have all been excellent and have been ‘the best Doctor ever’ for me, so I’ll probably enjoy whoever gets the job. I just don’t want them to do it for reasons of political correctness. “Ooh, we’ve not had a black Doctor, lets fix that!” or “It’s time we had a woman Doctor!” It shouldn’t be about skin colour or gender, just a question of who has something to contribute to the character. As long as they’re British!

We’ve had a half serious/half clownish broken man in Ecclestone. Then we had the loveable geek with a core of steel in Tennant. Finally Smith gave us a goofy toddler who’s actually a lot cleverer than he let on. What type of Time Lord should the next one be?

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scribly· 103 weeks ago

All wishful thinking. Sadly enough we all know it’s going to be Jeremy Clarkson who’s going to “drive” the TARDIS from now on…

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2 replies · active 103 weeks ago

Candace· 103 weeks ago

Holy crap, I never thought of that, but Jeremy Clarkson could actually be a great Doctor! I can just picture him with that evil twinkle in his eyes…I doubt he would take the role, though.

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Ceri· 103 weeks ago

I can just see him wildly flipping switches in the TARDIS’ control room while it spins through time and space: “MOAR POWERRRRRRRRRRR!!!”

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@ShayneF· 103 weeks ago

Tim Roth

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AmyLynn· 103 weeks ago

As far as the 12 regenerations go, I remember River being concerned about him using up his regeneration on her. She spoke as if it were a quantity of energy that could be used up, not a power that could only be used a specific number of times. The writers could have added that in to redirect our attention though.

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Poodles McGee· 103 weeks ago

Doctor: Wil Wheaton
Companions: Several webcomic artists/writers

I’m not kidding. I’ll take hostages to make this happen.

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@justdevin· 103 weeks ago

I also pegged Chewie (official nickname, yet another selling point!) for my Doctor Wish List, along with Rhona Mitra, David Morrissey, Andrew Scott, and Damian Lewis – the whole thing’s right here at http://bigfanboy.com/wp/?p=18969. That said, I’m steering clear of anything resembling a rumour on it, and will try my damnedest to be surprised on 23 November. Like THAT’LL happen.

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1 reply · active 102 weeks ago

Jingy· 102 weeks ago

“I also begged Chewie…”
The last time I heard a sentence starting like that, it was from someone accounting their comicon- sexcapades.

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Liam· 103 weeks ago

How about an American for the Doctor?

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1 reply · active 102 weeks ago

Bron· 102 weeks ago

No just…. just no……

I dont think an American doctor would work for British audiences and we are still the primary market so that would be insane to do. Sorry.

An American actor could work but only if he could do a British accent that was fantastic which I can’t really remember seeing yet.

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Bean· 103 weeks ago

I’d just like to say that I am 100% supportive of the idea of Hugh Laurie or Stephen Fry as the Doctor. Whoever they cast, I’d really like it to be an eccentric older person.

This is probably somewhat hypocritical of me to say, since David Tennant is ‘my’ Doctor, But enough with the Young Actors. If I wasn’t so attached to David Tennant, Christopher Eccelston would be my favorite.

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1 reply · active 102 weeks ago

Bron· 102 weeks ago

I agree with the older, I think we need an eccentric curmudgeon type doctor again.

I would stop watching if it was Steven fry though, I just find him incredibly annoying.

I think that Hugh Laurie would also be a mistake he is just too well known it would be Hugh Laurie not the doctor.. I love him but I think wrong for the role.

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kam· 103 weeks ago

have i missed something but i thought that john hurt was number 12? or is he number 0?

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1 reply · active 103 weeks ago

Ceri· 103 weeks ago

No, he’s supposed to be an earlier regeneration, presumably from the Time War – the one who broke the promise. At least that’s what my insanely knowledgeable DW-geeky friends say. They’re placing him between 8 and 9 (which should throw off the whole counting system, but I guess that’s all very wibbly-wobbly-timey-wimey).
We’ll find out in the 50th anniversary special, I guess!

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@SynthPhyle· 103 weeks ago

I’d like to see Hugh Laurie as the next Doctor… Just think of the snarky humor he could bring to the role! Doctor Who, KING of sarcasm!

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1 reply · active 103 weeks ago

Ceri· 103 weeks ago

Which would make my “Who, M.D.” t-shirt almost prophetic!
And if Stephen Fry gets to be his companion (like some others already suggested), we’d have Jeeves & Wooster all over again!

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xero· 103 weeks ago

I really can’t argue with that choice i honestly don’t have a better one

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BaneDeadpool· 102 weeks ago

The new Doctor needs to be a lesser known name. They need to be the Doctor, not a ‘whats-his-name from whatever that movie or show was who is now the Doctor’. Also, I think a cool take would to have the Doctor regenerate as a ginger woman.

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Pat· 102 weeks ago

Tim Roth is one I hadn’t heard mentioned in any of the speculation (until this thread), but I think he could do a really good job. His character in Lie To Me had moments of out-there-weirdness/zaniness and a LOT of intensity too. And then we’d have a Doctor who’d fought the Hulk and lived, and should therefore fear nothing anyway!

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Chaucer59· 99 weeks ago

I was deeply disappointed when David Tennant left (no, NOT my first Doctor–that was James Baker). I don’t think anyone before or since has so embodied The Doctor as Tennant. Matt Smith is just so…meh. I think it’s truly sad that so many outstanding scripts were wasted on an actor with less charisma than a sea cucumber and less range than William

I agree wholeheartedly with Ejiofor. He’s a brilliant choice and can go from loving to menacing and back again with aplomb. If not a black Doctor, what about a sex change? I can see it now: the Doctor Who page 3, the Doctor Who Playboy spread, the Victoria’s Secret Who line.

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emperorbailey· 97 weeks ago

Everybody stop and listen to me right now!

I decided it would be awesome if, perhaps for a double-ep season finale, they fire through like 4 Doctors by the closing credits. Fall off a building, shot in the face, cut in half by a band saw, whatever. Nothing ups the stakes in a plot like the main character repeatedly paying the ultimate price to save humanity/the universe/the Queen Mum.

That would also give them the opportunity to give a few British actors the ability to play the big guy, if only for 15-30 minutes. Hows about Sir Ian Magneto with a sonic screwdriver? Companion looking on in horror at his repeated grisly deaths…

This is the greatest suggestion I have ever made on the internet. Seriously, think about it.

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@craigjpettitt· 17 weeks ago

I realize this is somewhat irrelevant now, but honestly Simon Pegg would make a much better Master than Doctor imho.

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