Chicken Fight

I was going to draw Hodor and Hagrid carrying their respective semi-motionless boy-bodies around, but I decided they should be having a bit more fun.

COMMENTERS: Who are your favorite fictional duo or team to fall into the “behemoth and small person” trope? I can think of tons of examples from comic books proper, but not that many from film and TV. Maybe you recall some obscure one’s that I don’t.

Broken Boy Soldier

This week is the 5 year anniversary of The Experiment. I posted some thoughts (a LOT of thoughts) about it here.

If you are a fan of The Experiment and would like to see it continue, please consider making a donationbuying something from the HE Store or Sharksplode or checking out my Amazon Wishlist. I am quite literally 100% dependent on the kindness of strangers. It’s a weird job, I know.

If you want a ZERO DOLLAR way to support HijiNKS ENSUE, pleasepost a few of your favorite HE comics to your site, blog or social media outlet of choice with a few words as to why you think your friends might enjoy reading HE as well.

Carl is the Newt of The Walking Dead. Why don’t we put him in charge?

COMMENTERS: I have expressed my problems with The Walking Dead at length. Is there any show where one character seemed to know exactly what was going on and no one ever listened to them? A sufferer of Wesley Crusher syndrome, as it were? Any show that you would have given up on long ago if not for a single redeeming character?

[thanks to @met2art for the alt-text]

Gubernatorial

This week is the 5 year anniversary of The Experiment. I posted some thoughts (a LOT of thoughts) about it here.

If you are a fan of The Experiment and would like to see it continue, please consider making a donationbuying something from the HE Store or Sharksplode or checking out my Amazon Wishlist. I am quite literally 100% dependent on the kindness of strangers. It’s a weird job, I know.

If you want a ZERO DOLLAR way to support HijiNKS ENSUE, pleasepost a few of your favorite HE comics to your site, blog or social media outlet of choice with a few words as to why you think your friends might enjoy reading HE as well.

!!!SPOILERS FOR THE WALKING DEAD SEASON 3 FINALE BELOW!!!

It’s hard to tell what the writers and producers of The Walking Dead hate more: the audience, the characters, the comics or the show itself. In this week’s season three finale, they made it clear that we, the audience, are at least pretty high on the hate list. After another season of languishing plot and pacing so slow that it often moved in reverse (seriously, this season was all about story archs moving forward in one episode just to be totally set back in the next), we were presented with a season finale that contained 2, maybe 3 satisfying moments amidst an hour of vamping and build up for climaxes that would never come.

I know the show’s internal workings are troubled. You can’t have a totally stellar first season, then continually fire showrunner after showrunner while the network tightens the budget yet demands more episodes and not expect the quality to decline. The latter of those problems was ESPECIALLY evident in seasons 2 and 3 when nearly every other episode seemed to just be the prelude to the next episode. Either they really aren’t being given the funding and network support to write, and produce 10 or 13 episodes a season or they simply do not understand the purpose of a short season at all.

In a show like LOST (in the early seasons) or BSG (in the latter seasons) where you have 26 episodes a season, it’s fair to expect a few place holder episodes. Yet with barely a baker’s dozen hours to fill a year, The Walking Dead spent all of season two standing around and arguing about secrets and feelings on a farm and all of season three with our heroes considering leaving the prison, considering attacking Woodbury and considering getting rid of or keeping various newcomers. Both seasons were big on debate and internal (often unspoken) conflict and light on… doing… much of anything. With a short season show, the ENTIRE story and all major plot points need to be mapped out ahead of time so that the action, drama, humor, gore, etc can be evenly split among the episodes. I can’t wrap my  head around the creative or financial impetus of “give ’em one good one, 2 bad ones, a kind ok one, an infuriatingly bad one, then repeat.”

Now, with the finale of season 3, The Walking Dead has robbed its fans of any type of resolution regarding The Governor, or the prison and given us no indication of what to look forward two next season other than possibly the REST of season 3’s plot and some fond time’s in Uncle Rick’s Lockdown Nursery and Retirement Village. And despite that fact that THE ONLY THING I was looking forward to in the finale was seeing Michonne take The Governor’s other eye just before Andrea put that pocket knife elbow deep in his heart, the producers elected to elevate The Governor to the role of Jason Vorhees-esque, unkillable boogie man and make him a series regular next season.

I don’t know, guys. I might be out. The only plot element I liked about the finale was Carl… which I will address in the next comic.

COMMENTERS: That season finale was fucking bullshit, right? Spoilers away. Tell me how you feel. 

Game Delayed

Today is the 5 year anniversary of The Experiment. I posted some thoughts (a LOT of thoughts) about it here.

If you are a fan of The Experiment and would like to see it continue, please consider making a donationbuying something from the HE Store orSharksplode or checking out my Amazon Wishlist. I am quite literally 100% dependent on the kindness of strangers. It’s a weird job, I know.

If you want a ZERO DOLLAR way to support HijiNKS ENSUE, pleasepost a few of your favorite HE comics to your site, blog or social media outlet of choice with a few words as to why you think your friends might enjoy reading HE as well.

I’ve really enjoyed writing and drawing this HBO story line. The whole series is archived here. I haven’t actually cancelled the free HBO, and thus it remains my fickle mistress. Last night I watched Se7en (despite already owning it on Blu-Ray and having never actually watched my copy), and a few reruns of Veep (which is seriously the smartest/funniest TV writing since Arrested Development), but I also watched about half of some god damn documentary about Beyonce.

[UPDATE 4/1/13]

Beyonce isn’t a great singer and she isn’t an “artist.” She’s a good singer and anyone (ANYONE) who sang about as well as she does and looked about as attractive as he is perceived to be COULD (not WOULD) have everything she has. None of those traits are a crime. Pop music and celebrity culture in general often reward the middle. Mediocrity keeps you in the public eye much longer than one hit wonders and lights that burn too bright. But, if you’re going to follow someone around with a camera crew for a year, it would be best if that someone were A) an interesting person, B) Not the C-estof C-Words to everyone that works for her and C) grounded in at least some fashion to a world where they haven’t been rich and famous their entire lives. Watching her live her “fabulous” life was just boring as all miserable fuck. Beyonce isn’t evil, but she oozes a sense of entitlement that (per my working theory) stems from being brought up in a wealthy family, then getting too famous and too rich at too young of an age to ever really relate to anyone who isn’t a superstar millionaire. In my opinion, Gwyenth Paltrow also fits into this category. They are both good at their jobs, but I doubt either would make for a fun addition to movie or game night. LET ME OFF OF YOUR PROGRAMMING QUALITY ROLLER COASTER, HBO YOU CONTEMPTIBLE SHREW! VEX ME NO LONGER!

COMMENTERS: Which celebrity do you think you would have the most fun actually hanging out with. Bonus points if your answer is Jon Hamm, because that is the correct answer. Who would be the least fun?

The Loophole

That title should actually be, “The Loouphoule.” 

TOP SECRET INFO: You can get a print of any HE comic ever by clicking “Buy A Print” under the comic, or by going here.

Did you know if you catch a real live Canadian they have to show you their Indentattoo which, in turn, reveals their true name and spirit animal? Once you can call a Candian by its true name, it must obey your every command. Unless you command it to commit murder, or be rude in public. Then IT CONTROLS YOU! The good news is, it will often express mild irritation at your capture and enslavement of it, but ultimately wish you well and attempt to find its way home. Canadians can always sense true north because of a naturally occurring magnet found in their skulls. Up until the late 1800’s, these “bone magnets” were highly sought after by American hunters, trappers, golfers and tennis players for their perceived effectiveness in pseudo-science carpal tunnel bracelets.

I am quite literally bursting with true facts about Canada. I’ve been there at least 3 times, which makes me an expert. I’m going back again next month for Calgary Expo and to get recertified as an official Canada Expert First Class. I’ll be at booth 925/1025 with Blind Ferret.

One more comic and this story bit ends. Game Of Thrones comes back this Sunday, and I’m struggling to remember who is dead, who is currently actively being killed and who is merely mortally wounded. I need to make a chart. A blood chart. My wife has read ahead in the books which has transformed her into some kind of fire witch with the curse of foresight. She isn’t to be trusted.

I need to go write a foreword for my friend’s book.

COMMENTERS: Have you ever been catching up on a popular tv or movie series while your spouse, significant other, friend, etc. has already read all the books? Did it augment the experience for you, or were they all, “OH MAN OH MAN OH MAN YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT’S ABOUT TO HAPPEN OMGOMGOMG!!!” all the time? I made the ENORMOUS mistake of assuming I would never care about Harry Potter, so I forced my old boss to explain the entire plot to me, including who killed Dumbledore and that Harry was the final Horcrux, thus robbing me of the excitement of finding those things out for myself when I eventually fell in love with the series.