COMIC & BLOG
iTUNES FEED
EMAIL JOEL
Stop Me If You’ve Heard This One
“God damn it, Wesley.”
I’ll be at Dallas Comic Con this weekend. Come say hi!
I wrote this comic after viewing the Star Trek TNG episode “The Icarus Factor.” In it, Wesley Crusher throws Worf a surprise Klingon birthday party on the Holodeck, complete with a Painstick Pinnata. Also Riker worked out his daddy issues by beating the crap out of his old man American Gladiators style. What does this have to do with anything? Nothing. I just like making comics about Star Trek.
The actual comic inspiration came from the fact that Wesley clearly didn’t realize that everyone on the ship was punking him when they encouraged him to sneak around and try to plan Worf’s K’Plahmitzvah. Geordi and Data encouraged Wes to pry deeper into Worf’s personal bid-ness despite his obvious increased aggression and agitation. No doubt they were hoping that Worf would remove the young Ensign’s spine through his nipples. Genius he may have been, Wesley just didn’t fit in. He was clearly too young and naive to be gallivanting through the galaxy on life and death missions with cynical space-adults that clearly didn’t have his best interests in mind.
The best line of the episode went to Papa Riker who pleaded with his emotionally blockaded son to “Let your shields down, Wil.” Those are metaphorical shields he’s talking about. Heart shields. The idea of using 24th century metaphors in family arguments lead to these tweets:
- “Lower your shields son! Let my emotional away team beam down to your heart’s surface!”
- “You were always my commanding officer Dad, when you should have been my ship’s counselor!”
- “I’m hailing you on all frequencies, Dad, but your communication systems have been malfunctioning since Mom left!”
- “YOU CAN’T SOLVE EVERYTHING WITH AN INVERSE TACHYON PULSE, DAD!!!
So, what’s the best line of shitty space-soap opera dialog you can come up with?
Also, I made some banner art for Denise’s new food blog.
Related posts
January 25th, 2010 at 8:16 am
Data making a joke successfully? In that case, shouldn’t Riker be in the DS9 style jumpsuit à la Generations? Oh, wait… then there would be no Wesley.
…
This comic scares and confuses me.
January 25th, 2010 at 2:41 pm
Nah… Data was just telling the truth… it just happened to be funny… he does that all the time. He only fails at humor when he tries
And yeah, the combat was interesting… not only was it american gladiators, but it was part marco polo too, since they purposefully put blinders on and had to scan for each other with the back end of the stick. Good stuff.
January 25th, 2010 at 2:46 pm
Good stuff Joel, good stuff!
January 25th, 2010 at 2:54 pm
Oh Will Weaton, when will you learn to shut your trap? Although, I did like his guest spot on the Big Bang Theory this year.
January 25th, 2010 at 3:11 pm
And then there was the episode where Lor first showed up and he could use contractions while Data normally couldn't. Wesley is screaming that he's not Data and everyone gave him the Verbal Phasers on Jackass treatment. Poor, poor Wesley.
January 25th, 2010 at 3:27 pm
"I try to talk to you, but it's like the inertial dampers are off line, and the engineering team has been abducted!"
January 25th, 2010 at 3:46 pm
The thing that bugged me the most about that episode? Papa Riker's helmet is on cockeyed the whole time and apparently no one caught it.
January 25th, 2010 at 3:48 pm
Riker-LaForge bromance. Gotta love it.
Most recent TNG lulz occurred while watching "Measure of a Man" wherein Data was asked under oath why he had the Tasha Yar memento and he wished not to say. Throwbacks FTMFW.
January 25th, 2010 at 4:20 pm
Dad, why do you always try to reverse the polarity when I am trying to modulate the shield harmonics to an inverse subspace distortion dynamic matrix IN MY HEART?
January 25th, 2010 at 11:21 am
“If we readjust the shields to…”
“Why can’t you understand that sometimes I don’t want a solution, I just want to talk?”
oh wait. That is my life
January 25th, 2010 at 4:36 pm
I just peed myself laughing. I hope you're happy.
January 25th, 2010 at 7:03 pm
"Riking" someone sounds like something furries do to each other.
January 25th, 2010 at 8:03 pm
LaForge totally wishes he was Riker's wing man…maybe he would actually get some action.
January 25th, 2010 at 8:08 pm
well he DOES have that furry beard.
January 25th, 2010 at 8:50 pm
TNG goes Furry, now theres a nauseating thought… Wait, wasn't that the main theme for the episode "Genesis"?
January 25th, 2010 at 9:39 pm
Riker in the last panel is freaking priceless. FACEPALM!
January 25th, 2010 at 10:13 pm
or NOSEPINCH!
January 25th, 2010 at 10:14 pm
Never apologize for that. Its beautiful.
January 25th, 2010 at 10:56 pm
Joel, every time you do a Star Trek comic of any sort, it reaffirms a) my love of the franchise and this comic and b) my need to go back and watch it from start to finish so that I get the subtleties. Why are you trying to give me a year long, unpaid job?
January 25th, 2010 at 5:59 pm
[...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Joel Watson, J.E. Ignatius M., David A.M. Wilensky, Kristi, Mike Dedmon and others. Mike Dedmon said: @wilw comic about Wesley… http://hijinksensue.com/2010/01/25/stop-me-if-youve-heard-this-one/ [...]
January 25th, 2010 at 11:58 pm
It's a conundrum, isn't it… that Wil Wheton is so cool in real life and yet his character acted so lame.
"Game over, Moonpie."
January 26th, 2010 at 12:32 am
Believe me, the furries have done TNG, and then some.
January 26th, 2010 at 12:34 am
Does anyone ever kinda wish that Riker was their Dad?
I find the timing of this post very interesting considering Star Trek Online goes live in a few days.
January 25th, 2010 at 8:07 pm
OMG I KNOW!
January 26th, 2010 at 2:32 am
As seen on Counselor T'Oprah's office bookcase:
Men are from the Galordon Kor, women are from Bajor
Plomeek Soup for the Katra, Vol. I-MDC
Are You There God, It's Me…Sybok
Drop Kick Me Jeebus Through The Guardian of Forever (of Life)…
Catcher in the Niners (that'll be obscure-ish)
Overheard on Voyager:
"I wish I was never born!"
"Temporal anomaly, coming right up!"
"My baby daddy was a glowing pinpoint of light…that doesn't make me a space ho!"
January 26th, 2010 at 2:34 am
"RED ALERT! You're not going out of the airlock dressed like that…" *slanty walk*
Am I going to find you in the game as William TJ Hooker-Riker III, Jr.?
Don't ask me who I'll be playing…it'll ruin the surprise.
January 26th, 2010 at 2:35 am
I especially like the "Boom goes the photon torpedo".
That line always cracks me up, esp. when they did it on Veronica Mars, or on The Daily Show.
January 25th, 2010 at 9:47 pm
"TNG goes Furry, now theres a nauseating thought… Wait, wasn't that the main theme for the episode "Genesis"? "
Keep in mind you made me do this (NSFW):
http://www.jandrewedits.com/view.php?youtube=jk7e...
January 26th, 2010 at 2:54 am
No you wont hehe.
January 26th, 2010 at 3:56 am
they said that line on TDS and Veronica Mars?
January 26th, 2010 at 5:34 am
For some reason even nerd girls don't react well when a guy says , "Brace yourself we're coming into the cargo-bay too fast."
I mean it's not like I didn't grease the "landing deck" first…
January 26th, 2010 at 2:19 am
Putting your deflectors up again, Helen?!? Your lateral sensor array need a total chip swap!
January 26th, 2010 at 4:42 pm
Has anyone else noticed that Wesley Crusher is like Meg Griffin in space?
January 26th, 2010 at 11:59 pm
I remember wearing a "Wesley Must Die" pin to Orycon back in the day. Good times
January 27th, 2010 at 12:19 am
Yes sir…you may use the Googles to find it…it was a 3rd Season ep. with her and her new bf (Pisnarski [sp?]) who got his stuff stolen 1st day of college (Josh should be able to verify). May have to search a bit more for when Jon Stewart used it.
January 27th, 2010 at 12:20 am
"Emergency Landing Plan…B!"
*weird look from Sulu…he doesn't get into that*
(Star Trek V)
January 27th, 2010 at 12:23 am
The line from the kid sportscaster that coined it when he flubbed his show was "Boom goes they dynamite"…I was thinking you changed it up so the joke would be Trekky.
January 27th, 2010 at 2:34 am
Hell, when I was really little (like 3), I thought Riker *was* my dad. They were both men of about the same height with full, brown beards, and they were the only two dark haired people I had regular contact with.
January 27th, 2010 at 3:52 am
Ahhh, TNG, we hardly knew ye. The comic reminded me of this little youtube gem (near the end):
January 27th, 2010 at 4:56 am
HOLY SHIT, LOLSOME sir!
January 27th, 2010 at 7:32 am
Looks more like Q than wesley was abit confused until I read the blurb below. Love the trek tho keep em coming
January 27th, 2010 at 8:28 am
Perhaps that should be worded thusly: "Meg Griffin is like Wesley Crusher on Earth."
January 27th, 2010 at 6:23 pm
Oh man, I know this scenario so very very well
January 27th, 2010 at 8:23 pm
Oh dear, in whatever circle of hell he is burning in, you have just made the afterlife slightly worse for gene roddenderry.
January 28th, 2010 at 2:51 pm
It's been nagging me for days, the fact that I don't get the joke here…
DAMMIT I AM THE WESLEY!!
January 31st, 2010 at 2:51 pm
I was the Wesley in school, too. I had this kind of conversation at the lunch table once.
The guys were doing the whole "hottie at #'o'clock" thing, and I couldn't figure out who they were talking about.
I LOLed. This is why I love this site.
February 6th, 2010 at 7:31 am
I have to say, though i earned the badge "trekkie" and all the negative crap that comes with having that title, i would gladly suffer it all again simply so i could read this comic and understand it its purpose… this is what I call "Art"