Monday June 3rd was my birthday! I am 32 years old and STILL aging! If you want to say “HAPPY FANCY BIRTHDAY!” might I suggest sharing HE with your friends via your link medium of choice? Might I also point you to my Amazon Wishlist and my donation page? CELEBRATE ME FOREVER!!!
I’m really hoping George R.R. Martin’s A Game Of Thrones inspired coffee table book is just page after glossy page of arterial blood spray.
!!!SPOILERS FOR THE CURRENT SEASON OF GAME OF THRONES IN THE COMMENTS!!!
!!!PLEASE NO SPOILERS FOR THE BOOKS/SHOW BEYOND THE RED WEDDING!!!
COMMENTERS: So how about that Red Wedding? Yeesh.
Comments (34)
Wesley· 104 weeks ago
Happy Belated Birthday Old Man!
I say that as you are only one day older than I. 🙂I’d had it mildly spoiled for me in that I’d heard the phrase “Red Wedding” and any mention of Catelyn Stark being annoying was greeted with knowing winks and “…not for much longer” nods, and then my fears for Rob’s life were pretty much shot all to hell when the Red Witch dropped his name into that leech-fire…BUT HOLY SHIT-BALLS OF BLOOD AND BABYGUTS! WATCHING THAT MASSACRE WAS SHOCKING ON A WHOLE OTHER LEVEL!HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO WATCH EDDARDS DIE!?My only hope is that this somehow confirms that we get to see Balon Greyjoy and more importantly King Joffrey get the same sort of brutal life-ending treatment ASAP, one “false king” down, two to go
Shit balls just about covers my reaction 🙂Deinse is back!! I’m happy to see her again.
Mike· 104 weeks ago
As someone who read all 5 books the second season 1 was over, watching the reaction to The Red Wedding has been great. It’s been horrible KNOWING this was coming and hearing everyone go on and on about what a great show Game of Thrones is. Yes it’s a great show, but dayum if anybody can die at any time. All the “OMG THIS IS THE WORST DAY OF MY LIFE” fans forgot that fact.yeah, but for me, it was the red wedding that really brought home, anyone can die at anytime for any reason
Bemmie· 104 weeks ago
I Had a horrible nightmare where Serenity was being renewed with Whedon directing, but it was being written by George RR Martin…Yay i’m getting my favourite characters back and oh god oh god they’re all going to die!
Candace· 104 weeks ago
Awesome! I think it’s been a while since we’ve gotten to see any HE arterial blood spray. I sort of miss that sometimes about the older HE comics, when the characters would die horribly in gouts of arterial blood spray, then be back alive and OK the next comic, kind of like a Looney Tunes cartoon, except bloodier. I realize doing that now would spoil the continuity, and I do enjoy the continuity, so glad you found a way to work in some glorious blood spray without breaking continuity. :-)Of course, it’s hard to top the climax of the artpocalyse, in which everyone was bathing in oceans of blood. That was beautiful.I think the funniest thing besides watching my Twitter feed asplode was finding out that my upstairs neighbors watch Game of Thrones because I heard their screaming and ranting at the end of the hour.It was not the worst atrocity of the Boltons. We must never forget the crimes of Lord Michael of House Bolton. His blasphemous hymns have wrought much pain.Also, you know nothing, show watchers.
UnitedShoes37· 103 weeks ago
http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lu3tcpORu31r5it…
Fear not. I will drive out the usurper and reclaim my ancestral seat and all will be right with the world.Jason· 104 weeks ago
I’ve read all of the books and I thought that I would be prepared for this episode. Honestly, it just made it worse. I was starting to worry in the episode when Robb first planned to attack Casterly Rock. I just knew it was coming but it was still a little surprising. Robb’s wife is completely different and not pregnant in the books, so the baby maiming was just as shocking to me as it was to people experiencing the Red Wedding for the first time.
Paul· 104 weeks ago
Robb’s wife is pregnant in the books, but holed up at Riverrun with the Blackfish, and she’s Jayne Westerling, not some foreigner from across the Narrow Sea.Jason· 103 weeks ago
Ahh. Ok. Thanks for that correction. I forgot she was pregnant.She’s not pregnant. Or not anymore. Someone stuffed her full of moon tea to fix any possible “problems” she might be harboring.Jason· 104 weeks ago
Spoilers for the finale!!!!!
Picard is captured and assimilated by the Borg, and the episode ends with Riker firing on the Borg Cube that has Locutus on it. Cliffhanger!
90percentgeek· 104 weeks ago
I honestly didn’t see it coming! I’m avoided reading the books until after the show is finished as it’s one series I hadn’t got round to reading before they chose to adapt it for TV. I heard some muttering about ‘The Red Wedding’ and at first I thought it was going to be the Red Lady marrying someone. Only when they were all in the drinking hall and all the women rushed out of the room did I suddenly recall that old viking tradition of inviting your enemy to a feast, getting him drunk, and then charging in and killing him and all his men. At which point I suddenly couldn’t believe that Rob would be so stupid as to go into the situation without guards or without at least noticing the potential for danger!
My only consolation now is that potentially something truly horrible will happen to Joffrey!
robgonzo· 104 weeks ago
The series doesn’t play up enough the idea of ‘guest right’ that the book does. Catelyn warns Robb to make sure Frey shares “bread and salt” i.e. refreshments with them as soon as they arrive because then the Sacred Law of Hospitality is in place and he can’t hurt them. It’s just not done in Westeros.UnitedShoes37· 103 weeks ago
Also, they didn’t play up that Robb had guards, not that it did him any good (seriously, I just reread that chapter a few days ago. Cat mentions being so relieved that he brought two of his most trusted knights, kept them sober, and kept them fairly close to his seat. Can’t remember what happens to them after the carnage begins though)I actually thought that it was much less grisly than the book. The slaughter of all the Stark soldiers, hundreds of bodies floating down the river and most of all the chapter ends with you thinking that Arya is dead too.Looking back, I had a similar reaction to some of the fans watching the TV show though I kept it to myself; as is required by law for English gents such as myself.I kinda saw it as a cheap imitation of the book’s scene, much like the Blackwater. Basically it was still good for TV, but everything was massively scaled down (the room was like 1/8th the size of the dining hall in the book, much less people, much less action, no one trying to save Robb when he got shot, the soldiers outside being murdered one at a time for some stupid reason instead of being killed en masse with little effort, Ghost not putting up a fight, etc.Basically the only thing that it did to up the impact from the book was having the in utero shanking happen.Apparently when he wrote the books, Martin got to the wedding knowing what was going to happen because of the story plan, couldn’t bring himself to write the chapter, skipped to the aftermath and wrote that up to the end of the book THEN went back and wrote the wedding because he didn’t want to see these characters he was attached to dieI’m not watching the show now – I have the DVDs ordered – but the TV Blackwater was about as over-the-top as they possibly could have staged, given the realities of their budget. Well, that, and the fact that the battle occurred mostly at night – you can’t get Jackson-scaled CGI overkill when it’s all torchlight and magic explosions – “Swept with confused alarms of struggle and flight,
Where ignorant armies clash by night.” The first season’s “battles” were so laughably non-existent that I honestly didn’t expect what we *did* get in the second season.The setup for the battle was completely changed to remove the need for the army in the background, the fleet was about 1/10th the size of the one in the book on both sides, they didn’t use the chain, etc etc. At least their scaling-down issues are getting better… Remember the royal hunt in season 1? That was a joke.Lfreeze· 104 weeks ago
Greywind, not Ghost.Shit, how did I do that?
jasomenaso· 104 weeks ago
GOT is making Walking Dead look like sesame street!Jonathan H.· 104 weeks ago
Was my birthday as well, and I also turned 32. Glad you’re still with us making people laugh 🙂
scarlettb· 104 weeks ago
My mother’s reaction when I asked her what she thought, “The CGI department has really mastered the throat-slitting effect.”robgonzo· 104 weeks ago
If anyone wants to see how it goes down in the Books they should check out the Wiki of Ice and Fire. http://awoiaf.westeros.org/index.php/Red_Wedding
tl;dr· 103 weeks ago
I’ve watched the Game of Thrones and I have learned how it is played
I’ve seen characters rise and fall through dragons, plots, and blades
But underused the most powerful weapon still remains:
The rampant male organ of the one called Podrick Payne!Poor Ned “the Eddard” Stark thought his honor would see him through
But his attempt at Cersi-mercy merely got him screwed
Yet, would his sense of honor have left him feeling constrained
If he’d had just one night of beastly lust with Podrick Payne?Cersi and Jaime’s love broke Brandon’s back to stay hidden
And now the kingdoms are at war since these lovebirds are kin
But would their incest-driven urges still bear this war’s blame
If both these Lannisters rode, not horses, but Podrick Payne?Theon Greyjoy was sent as ward (hostage) to Winterfell
Quoth dad: “You’ve forgot your kin!”, so he screwed the Starks as well
Yet, I propose he would have dropped the slight of kin long-slain
If his kraken got a smackin’ from the snake of Podrick PayneKing Joeffrey is a tosser-douche of the highest degree
An inbred piece of slime and filth scraped off a demon’s knee
Yet, would he . . . no, forget it, such a pairing I’ll refrain
He can’t deserve to be pleasured by Podrick fucking Payne!The White Walkers, those buggers, killed another Stark (Benjen)
But whiney Jon Snow can’t kill them back sans obsidian
Sam DID stab one wight from behind, but still the point remains
What if he’d been stabbed in THE behind . . . by Podrick Payne?And now we come to the events of this past Sunday’s eve
The Red Wedding (Bolton and Frey!!!) had left us all to grieve
But Walder and Roose might have relented had it been arranged
That, instead of Edmure, Robb had brought them Podrick PayneThere are characters still alive that leave us still with grins
Arya (she’s Batman!), Tyrion, Daenerys plus dragons
But all their tribulations could have been dodged and restrained
If all of Westeros had but a taste of Podrick Payne .
DuckAmuck· 103 weeks ago
Again, I say “I think it’s awesome that Arya gets to play Eddie Furlong with her own pet Terminator.”
AdinfinitumSpero· 103 weeks ago
I don’t think that table book was as realistic as advertised , I didn’t see any white stains
GOT is making Walking Dead look like sesame street!