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High In Fiber

Josh reminds us all of the tale of the ant and the grasshopper. The ant torrented terabytes of pornography to see him through the harsh winter and kept redundant backups of his data, both on external hard drives and in the cloud. While the foolish grasshopper had a paper bag with a Hustler, a Juggs and two Penthouse Forums, which he eventually had to eat to survive. And he DID survive. Up until he died, choking on a letter from a guy who “never dreamed this would happen to me, but…”

Google keeps announcing different, random shithole towns as test beds for Google Fiber. Yes, I know Austin, TX is on the list. Here’s the deal: if they are putting amazing, futuristic tech services in Austin BEFORE Dallas (where I am), then I know they aren’t taking this whole thing seriously. “Hello, Google Fiber? I’m in austin and I’d like to have fiber internet installed directly to my bong. Excuse me bongS. Why, yes, I AM a bass player.”

COMMENTERS: Have you ever had to wait for a fun, fancy or futurey tech service (or any kind of service) to come to your town or even your country? I know Canada JUST got Square. That shit changed my life. Does anyone NOT have Netflix at this point? What about something as essential as phone lines or power? WHY DON’T YOU HAVE POWER? DO YOU LIVE IN A VOLCANO?!

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Craig · 111 weeks ago

I live in the arctic and depend on satellites for my internet. We can’t use Netflix because I’m pretty sure it would cause the satellites to explode and rain fiery doom down across Canada. My “high speed” is, on a good day, 3 mbps. It would make the baby Jesus cry. Or go on a homicidal spree with an axe. One of the two.
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Neph Sy · 111 weeks ago

I would just like to be able to get cell phone service in some of the rural parts of Canada I travel to. And decent internet, dial up is the only option in some areas, and it is a pain. All the sites are chock full of animated ads, you have to wait forever for them to load (or half load then stop). I was out in the boonies and trying to deal with customers in December who wanted rush shipping, so I spent all day trying to do basic shipping estimates.
This was not working, finally I had to phone the nearest couriers and post office and talk to a live person who was irritated that I needed them to get me estimates.
Seriously you don’t know how good you got it, until you have to deal with dial up.
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Ninjin · 111 weeks ago

Check it out. I think you’d dig Provo. You could do well there.
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petsinwinter · 111 weeks ago

I got no netflix, I’m 19, live with my parents and my family just never cared
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stanley · 111 weeks ago

Verizon ran fiber through my front yard; snagged my water line in the process. Turns out it was for one of their 4G towers, so I’m stuck with DSL. Everything [gas, muni water, cable, muni waste hauling, etc] seems to stop at the town line… half a mile that-a-way
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KCFiba! · 111 weeks ago

Man, these grapes taste really sour for some reason…

Must not be from a Missouri vineyard!

FIBER LOLLERSKATES ARE FASTER!

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el_b · 111 weeks ago

didnt know scar was in the scouts.
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bebinn· 111 weeks ago

I could get FIOS if I lived 3 blocks to the east. But I was dumb and didn’t figure out that my nice house was actually still in Baltimore City until after I committed to moving in. Baltimore City has a monopoly order in place for Comcast until at least 2016. I’m hoping it doesn’t get renewed at that time but really what is their incentive for not renewing it? We aren’t likely to get Google Fiber any time in this decade.
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InkBlot· 111 weeks ago

They picked Shartpalace over Cleveland!? Damnit! Now I have to keep paying Time Warner through the nose!

1 reply · active 110 weeks ago

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Omnomnom · 110 weeks ago

There are worse orifices to have to pay TW through. Trust me.
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emperorbailey· 102 weeks ago

My wife and I moved to Provo in 11 so I could do three years of grad school (the best deal we found). We promised ourselves we would move away, ANYWHERE, after the three years.
Now Google Fiber is coming to our dorky, podunk little town, and we’re not as sure about the moving away part.

Calgary Expo 2013 Fancy Sketches

I have returned from North of The Wall with a bag full of Canadian “money.” While I recharge my batteries, please to enjoy a few of the fancy sketches I did for the Calgarian Fancy Bastards.

Intense thanks to Keith for hosting me this weekend, driving me around Calgary and being a generally awesome dude. Additional thanks to the Blind Ferret crew for being my convention home base and taking care of business (every day/every way). Even further thanks to David and Wil for three straight nights of beer-fueled bro-down hangouts.

Now If you’ll excuse me, I need to go exchange all this ridiculous pastel, plastic currency for something I can actually spend. CANADIAN MONEY TRIVIA: All Canadian bills feature photos of actors who portrayed The Doctor in the classic Doctor Who series’ (Sylvester McCoy is on the $10), except for the $20 which features Hellen Mirren.

COMMENTERS: Speaking of The Sarlacc, which minor Star Wars character (from any movie, book or game) do you hope gets a starring role in the new Disney regime and why? If you say Jaxxon, I’m going to reunify all the little bits of Alderaan just so I can punch it to death again.

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Skintick · 111 weeks ago

I honestly wouldn’t mind seeing a full length feature on Jabba when he was younger (supposedly a bad-ass), Rogue Squadron, or maybe Boba Fett and that is only because the game was pretty cool.
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nenslo · 111 weeks ago

The gunner who let go the escape pod with R2D2 & C3PO inside. I always wondered if he was aware afterwards that he alone possessed the power to destroy the rebel alliance and the Light side of the force…
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Blarrgl · 111 weeks ago

R5-D4 needs a proper, that is to say canon, day in the sun.
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lou · 111 weeks ago

I’m sure there’s plenty of magic superheroes who act like stage magicians. Take Zatanna, who IS a stage magician in her day job, when she’s not rollin’ with John Constantine and Justice League Dark.
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oneswellfoop· 111 weeks ago

Stage magician superhero?
After “The Incredible Hulk”, Bill Bixby did play (kinda) one in the obviously titled “The Magician”…

“You wouldn’t like me when I’m… PRESTO!!!”

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Ali · 111 weeks ago

Prince Xizor.
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gratch · 111 weeks ago

It’s a little known fact that the design of Canadian money is based entirely around drinking. We color coded our money so that no matter how drunk you are you can still pay and receive change for your beer. Just hand the nice person behind the bar a purple bill and they’ll give you back a blue one and some coins. Frankly, I’ve always felt sorry for you Americans actually having to look at the numbers.

1 reply · active 111 weeks ago

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jiynx · 111 weeks ago

we went ahead and developed these things called ‘credit cards’ and their successor design ‘debit cards’, which function as an electronic key-signature authorizing transfers of money from bank to vendor.

you don’t even need to carry any coins or bills around, either.

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ToxicBlade · 111 weeks ago

Dash Rendar

1 reply · active 111 weeks ago

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ToxicBlade · 111 weeks ago

because that game was awesome back in the day
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lou · 111 weeks ago

When the alt text said “road trip through the Dune Sea”, I thought of a STAR WARS version of Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas. I suppose Han Solo and Chewie acted like that in their early smuggling days.

1 reply · active 110 weeks ago

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tom327cat · 110 weeks ago

Chewie took over piloting the falcon. I didn’t tell him about the mynocs. He would find out soon enough, poor bastard.
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Stephen · 111 weeks ago

Fett & Sarlaac: We’re off on the Road to Mos Eisley!
Sarlaac: Your jetpack is chafing my hide! (Fett: Tell me about it)
Sarlaac: Whatever heroes we may face we haven’t any fear.
Fett: Sarlaac will digest them for the next one thousand years!
Fett & Sarlaac: We certainly do get arou-ou-ound!
Fett & Sarlaac: Like Luke and Ben Kenobi, we’re Mos Eisley bound!

1 reply · active 110 weeks ago

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lou · 110 weeks ago

Damn that catchy tune!
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HikingViking · 111 weeks ago

I’d like to see Abrams focus the whole movie on a small group of Imperial Guards who go on a revenge mission to take out high-ranking rebels responsible for blowing up the Death Star. Kind of like Munich, in space.

2 replies · active 110 weeks ago

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xero · 111 weeks ago

wouldn’t that be more Valkyrie in space since they would fail
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lou · 110 weeks ago

“Valkyrie in Space” would be more like a cadre of Imperial Officers plotting to overthrow the Emperor and Vader, which has happened at least couple times in the EU.
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Jay29 · 111 weeks ago

What’s a “site gag?”

1 reply · active 111 weeks ago

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hijinksensue· 111 weeks ago

It’s like a pedantic asshole comment, but different.
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echo · 111 weeks ago

Admiral Piett. He started as Captain and one strangled Admiral and BAMMO promotion!

Wedge would be cool also and perhaps the son of Porkins, Porky.

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Paul Turnbull · 111 weeks ago

Thanks for the most excellent art Joel! When I had Nathan sign it he sat back a bit and said “Who drew this!!” I directed him to you. You’ve successfully helped me to pleasantly startle someone two years in row.

Come back next year so I can add to my growing collection (Am I allowed to call two a collection?) of celebrity signed art drawn by you.

2 replies · active 111 weeks ago

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hijinksensue· 111 weeks ago

Oh you had him sign the “2 captains” drawing? Sweet! Post a pic if you can. I hope he dug it.
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Paul Turnbull · 111 weeks ago

Here’s the “2 Captains” signed:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/turnbull/8703905480/

And from last year Wil Wheaton and the Van signed:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/turnbull/7122978237/

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Liam · 111 weeks ago

Jar Jar Binks
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Mr.Torgue · 111 weeks ago

Kyle Katarn. Abrams may have to rent some explosions from Michael Bay to make it work though.

1 reply · active 111 weeks ago

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hijinksensue· 111 weeks ago

+1 to this! Those games were the most excited I’d been about Star Wars since pre-prequels.
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Siirenias · 111 weeks ago

Not a character? I don’t care. I will watch it if they put an E-Wing in it.

There is no other way I’ll put any more money into this franchise.

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Bill Murphy · 111 weeks ago

I want Luke Skywalker to have a conversation with spirit Yoda.
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CalgaryKeith · 110 weeks ago

Don’t mention it bud! It was a fun weekend.
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Stephen · 110 weeks ago

Thanks to this comic, I am going back and re-reading my expanded universe novels. Might even go back a bit further and read some that I skipped.
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DH8 · 110 weeks ago

I’m hoping the space marine on a unicorn is an obscure reference to the “X-Play Musical”!!
http://www.g4tv.com/videos/15106/x-play-the-music…

1 reply · active 110 weeks ago

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hijinksensue· 110 weeks ago

It is a reference to how a dude asked me to draw a car riding Robocop, riding a unicorn.

Guest Comic By Lar deSouza: “Cry, The Red Moon”

I AM IN CALGARY RIGHT NOT FOR CALGARY EXPO!!! Details HERE. 

[NOTE: I am writing this on Wednesday 4/24/13, before my flight to Calgary. So in all likelihood I am already dead, made a meal by a pack of blood starved hell beasts.]

Lar just gets me, man. He knows what it’s like to pay $600 for a flight to Calgary that leaves at 6am, so you have to be at the airport at 4am (international flight), so you have to leave the house at 3am, so you have to be up at 2:30am after going to bed at 2:20am, only for the privilege of a 4 hour layover in Phoenix before boarding your actual flight to the actual place you are going to draw dicks on paper for kind people with silly pastel money. Lar knows what’s going to be waiting for me at the airport. At each of the three airports I will visit. Lar knows they can smell my exhaustion, my frustration on the ill wind that creeps and hollers through Terminals A through C.

Lar is the most versatile and adept artist I know. He creates art like fish swim: constantly and seemingly without effort. He’s a mentor, a tutor, a surrogate uncle and he can pound back a bottle of chocolate wine like nobodies business. Check out his Tumblr, his comic, his other comic, his print shop and his t-shirt store.

For the confusedly uninitiated, #bloodwolves are the physical manifestation of all of my frustrations with air travel when going to conventions. Sometimes I am their prey, sometimes I am their kin and other times I just tell their story in order to garner favor, grow their legend and keep them at bay. Insomnia induced delirium? What Insomnia induced delirium? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAGHLAAAGHLLAGHLLLL[THROWS UP BLOOD FOREVER]!!!

 COMMENTERS: How have the #bloodwolves tormented you?

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tomspeelman· 112 weeks ago

Mostly on buses, preventing me from sleeping while the bus rolls across the plains. They torment me with their howling.
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josh· 112 weeks ago

I love the way Lar draws you.
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Mr c · 112 weeks ago

This was up for a bit Yesterday

And i love it, run for your seat joel, before they reinitiate you into the pack

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Fayili · 112 weeks ago

Every time. Sometimes the layovers last six hours. Sometimes eleven. Sometimes only one. They’re always there, pacing, around a kiosk corner or next to the Cinnabon. JFK or O’Hare. Even London. They’re there.

When I finally arrive in Ireland, I hit the ground running, and when I make it through customs, my beau looks at me with mild concern. For some reason, they’ve never bothered him when he flies to me. I don’t like to speculate why.

For the moment, I am safe. But they know that in a month, or three months, I’ll have to go home. And they wait…

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deadrobot · 112 weeks ago

I am immune to Bloodwolves. For I have …NEXUS!
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nenslo · 112 weeks ago

Clearly your theme song should be The Prodigy – Run With The Wolves
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CatVonAwesome· 112 weeks ago

My bloodwolves come in the form of people who won’t shut up or feel the need to get up and stand RIGHT AT THE FRONT OF THE LINE BECAUSE OMG I HAVE TO GET ON THIS PLANE FIRST ITS VERY IMPORTANT EVEN THOUGH I HAVE A PRE-SELECTED SEAT ASSIGNMENT THAT I GET THERE FIRST OR THEY MIGHT LEAVE WITHOUT ME.

I don’t understand that need to be first. We’re all going to the same place. Crazy people, I be you’d be a lot less stressed if you’d just wait until your damn row is called.

I tend to be very zen about travelling because…..because. It is what it is. Maybe that comes from travelling with my former flight attendant mom so much when I was a kid. But, I don’t want to talk to people (much like the rest of my life) and so when people push and shove or get loud or decide to ignore the Headphones of Don’t Bother Me, I do tend to get stressy.

Just booked my flight to SDCC this week. Can’t wait! It’s my first con since SDCC 2011.

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sicklittlemonky· 112 weeks ago

This might be my favourite guest strip ever!

I hate flying so much I recently drove 4000 km to go to a wedding rather than fly. The blood wolves will not get me, dammit!

2 replies · active 110 weeks ago

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The Unknown FB · 112 weeks ago

I’ve gone so far as to calculate the ROI on the cost of flights vs. what I make per hour to determine whether I’m going to rent a car to drive long distance or fly to “attempt” to save the time.
Once you factor in a 4-6 hour flight (mandatory connecting because of where I now live) and time waiting in airport, it approaches the 13 hour drive time back home to visit family, which makes doing either a PITA.
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Mahnarch · 110 weeks ago

Muah-ha-ha! This is why I went and got myself a Pilot’s License!
My plane! My stuff! My schedule!
And, the view is better!
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HikingViking · 111 weeks ago

I loath air travel. Actually, when I think about air travel, it makes me mad that this country doesn’t have high-speed rail like many other places. I’d still have to get on a plane for flights to Europe or Asia, but international flights are usually a little better (bigger seats, choice of movies, etc.). Mostly though, I hate all of the extra security bull$h*t. I travelled from Seattle to Korea last year, and had to literally sprint through almost the entirety of San Francisco International airport on a layover, only to be held up in another security screening. Apparently, SFO’s international terminal isn’t connected to their other terminals, so there’s no way to avoid a security screen even if you’ve already had one in the U.S. I could go on, and on, and on – really, my issues with air travel are about the closest I get to sounding like a conspiracy theorist. Ultimately thought, “they” kind of have us over a barrel, and until that whole teleportation thing is figured out, we’re pretty much SOL (International).
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preciousRoy · 111 weeks ago

I’ve flown out of O’Hell once, the experience was pleasant until I got to my destination. Apparently that part of Texas just smells like diesel fumes.

Lights Out

I AM GOING TO BE IN CALGARY THIS WEEKEND FOR CALGARY EXPO!!! Details HERE. 

Writing this at 3am when I should be leaving the house to catch a plane… nowish. Revolution officially went nanobotsbananapants. If you haven’t given up already, now’s a good time.

COMMENTERS: What’s the longest you ever stuck with a show that you hated, hoping that it would improve? For me it was Smallville, seasons 5-10. Or was it 6-10? Or was it 1-10?

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Kirby · 112 weeks ago

I can honestly like anything. Sit me in front of a TV show, movie, whatever, I’ll enjoy myself no matter how bad it tends to be. However, in Charmed I kind of have the reverse effect. I enjoy the show as a whole, but I really kinda don’t like Prue, and I can’t bring myself to just pick up the series after she leaves. So I’m forcing myself to wade through her episodes until I get through to the next part.

I decided to skip Revolution, just from the tweets it was getting on the premiere night. I also don’t tend to watch a lot of TV when it premieres, or anything like that. I don’t generally stop watching a TV show because I dislike it, I generally stop watching it because I stop catching it on TV, something else catches my interest and I stop for a bit with the intention of coming back, or I just stop watching TV for a while. If there’s a show I really like, I usually finish it/what’s available in one or two shots, then wait for more, or move on.

2 replies · active 111 weeks ago

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Neph Sy · 112 weeks ago

I watched a few episodes of Charmed back when it was televised, with a “meh” reaction. Recently tried watching the first few episodes, but could not get past how much that “Power of 3” chanting grated on me. Charmed was written for teens and pre-teens. The magic powers on it is so simple, the kind of stuff I used to wish for and dream when I was a child, that I can’t stomach it now.
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Poodles McGee · 111 weeks ago

Charmed was mostly just establishing shots of San Francisco (great drinking game, shots every time you see Golden Gate Bridge, everybody passes out during first episode). But the whole, crappy series served one single purpose for one single moment of awesome.

In the commentary for Buffy S7 ep7, “Conversations with Dead People” (the best! the creepiest!), Drew Goddard says they had so many problems trying to film the episode, that towards the end of the very long night he was laying on the floor crying “I don’t wanna do this anymore, just put on an episode of Charmed!”

I love that. Whenever I’m having a ridiculously hard time with something that’s too important to blow off, I work up a tear and say the same thing. Then I suck it up and make something awesome anyway.

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Neph Sy · 112 weeks ago

It’s not a show I hate, but it’s a guilty pleasure. Sometimes I can’t believe this monster of the week/yearly apocalypse show is still on. It’s the humor that keeps me watching.
****SPOILERS BELOW****

Dang, I really liked the Benny character and was hoping he was going to become a regular.

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lou · 112 weeks ago

I hear ya on Supernatural. Season 6 was hit-and-miss because the showrunners never expected to make it past the 1st 5 seasons they planned out, so they passed the head-writer duty to someone else, for Seasons 6 (meh) and 7 (bleh). Now it’s on Season 8 with someone else in charge and it’s much better now.
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sandchigger · 112 weeks ago

I’m the one guy who watched the entire run of Cult hoping it would start to be not crappy.

2 replies · active 112 weeks ago

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Neph Sy · 112 weeks ago

You must have a strong constitution, the only thing I liked about Cult was Robert Knepper…he does intense and creepy so well.
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sandchigger · 112 weeks ago

I kept thinking to myself that maybe it would all tie together in some brilliant, awesome fashion. I did like the idea that the real-cult was gaining members from the tv-cult because the real-cult was literally putting words into the mouth of the tv-cult’s leader.
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Jason· 112 weeks ago

I think I stuck with Heroes into the fourth season, or at least close to the end of the third. I think I wanted to give them the benefit of the doubt that season 2 was crappy because of the writers’ strike. I was young and foolish then…

I never started watching Revolution because I couldn’t get over the mental hurdle that if electrons can no longer flow, you get some very serious side effects. Like, oh say, molecules no longer being able to hold together. Nanomagicbots at least addresses that problem, so kudos to them for that I guess?

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malcolm · 112 weeks ago

I’ve actually been enjoying revolution lately, I think its improved. I’m not talking about the “science”, let it be magic, I don’t care. I just like where the story is going.
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coke· 112 weeks ago

I watched every episode of _Andromeda_.

2 replies · active 111 weeks ago

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gabepuratekuta· 112 weeks ago

So did I. It was pretty good
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gabepuratekuta· 112 weeks ago

I’ve done better. If there’s a series that’s starting that looks like it’s going to be awful, you just don’t watch it or any commercial for it ever. It really helps to keep the brain cells up and the hate-filled rants down. I guess the worst series I’ve ever actually watched was Smallville. But that was because there wasn’t anything better on (didn’t have cable or Netflix back then) which was very few and far between. Maybe I’ve seen like ten episodes in all? I’m not really sure…
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jscg · 112 weeks ago

It took me five seaons to give up on Star Trek Voyager. Even though every episode from season 3 to (it seems) the end had the big red reset button denouement, I just kept watching.

Kind of like when my Grampa used to watch the Judy Garland variety show and complain about how bad it was every week. My Gram used to ask him why he kept watching if it was so bad, and his only answer was “She used to be so *good*!”

1 reply · active 111 weeks ago

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hijinksensue· 111 weeks ago

The irony is after season 3 they gave up on the “We’re totally going to get home! NO WE’RE NOT!” thing and just started focusing on the story while moving them a bit closer to home every few episodes. Towards the end they realized home was WAY too far away so every other episode it was like, “Good job crew. That little maneuver shaved 20 years off our trip!”
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Faye · 112 weeks ago

Stargate SG-1 was never the same after season 5. But I kept watching. Season 10. The movies. Atlantis. Universe. (I actually kinda liked Universe in spite of the ‘younger and edgier’ dynamic, but then, Robert Carlyle.)

My only release from this is that there is no Stargate currently in production, as far as I am aware. If it came back, I would be there, like a moth to a flame, and with about as much self-preservation instinct.

So, to answer the question: How long? Forever. (Though I wouldn’t say I ever ‘hated’ it, I was just disappointed, is all. There were still good times to be had.)

2 replies · active 111 weeks ago

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hijinksensue· 111 weeks ago

SG-1 lost me after it left Showtime. Universe was fantastic and should never have been prefaced with the word “Stargate.” It specifically wasn’t for Stargate fans.
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Faye · 111 weeks ago

Agreed. I did enjoy Universe, mostly, but as it’s own thing – it didn’t feel like Stargate. (Stargate barely felt like Stargate in the final seasons, it was effectively a spin off the network didn’t want to split from the main series. And that Ori stuff creeped me out.)

Universe could have reached a wider audience, but they got stuck with the overlapping segment on the venn diagram of ‘Stargate fans’ and ‘gritty space drama fans’. The Stargate name hurt them.

As an aside, we joked that the series was Stargate: Voyager, but how much better would Voyager have been if it was more like Universe? They had the factions already, Starfleet vs Maquis.

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thevoxpopuli· 112 weeks ago

The last three or four seasons of X-Files were pretty bad… and I’m still watching True Blood for some awful reason. And I saw all of Lost… but to be fair, I actually liked the way it ended. I just don’t listen to what producers and writers say before something is done.
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Neph Sy · 112 weeks ago

I stuck it out to the end for Lost and Heroes, I especially feel Heroes was a waste…that show had potential…why did it have to turn into such a clusterf***
Can’t believe I watched “No Ordinary Family” past the first episode. The last season of True Blood was pretty bad, but I’ll probably still watch the next one…the show is STILL better than the books.

Longest show I’ve stuck to watching (and hate myself for it), “American Idol”,
To make it palatable I skip the city auditions episodes, fast forward through the critiques and listen to it while I’m working in the studio.

1 reply · active 111 weeks ago

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hijinksensue· 111 weeks ago

I watched all of No Ordinary family on Hulu while I was working. It was just a horrific concept with even worse execution. A shitstorm top to bottom.
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diggy · 112 weeks ago

I started to watch the “Fringe” pilot, quit after 5 minutes. Haven’t watched any of the show since.

2 replies · active 44 weeks ago

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hijinksensue· 111 weeks ago

If it’s not for you, that’s fine. If you managed to watch all five seasons there are some wonderful stories, character development and a ton of payoff for the open plot threads.
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CatVonAwesome· 112 weeks ago

I am currently trying to get to the end of Hemlock Grove. It is……bad. Like a supernatural german art house film written by a 15 year old from the suburbs of the States who really likes unicorns but hates his mom bad. I can’t stop.

1 reply · active 111 weeks ago

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Poodles McGee · 111 weeks ago

I’ve never even heard of that. But that description alone makes me want to check it out.
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DuckAmuck · 111 weeks ago

I’m still debating whether Burn Notice is still worth my time.
How many seasons can you get away with “I got the guy who got me. Wait. No I didn’t. Getting that guy led me to this other guy. NOW I’ll get the guy who got me.”

Though I missed the last 3 episodes of the most recent season, so maybe that answers my question.

2 replies · active 111 weeks ago

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Poodles McGee · 111 weeks ago

Once he rejoined the CIA I … I just couldn’t do it anymore. I just didn’t care. His scrappy resourcefulness and rogue team of occasionally awesomely destructive misfits was what made it fun. Once they gave him “legitimacy” and “resources” it was just another spy story.

Although really, the death knell was sounded when they brought in Jesse. Who fuckin’ cares about that guy? Nobody, that’s who.

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Poodles McGee · 111 weeks ago

OH MY GOD, AND THE PRODUCT PLACEMENT. STOP TRYING TO SELL ME A FUCKING CAR, USA. HOW DARE YOU INCORPORATE YOUR ADVERTISING INTO THE SHOW’S FUCKING DIALOGUE!

Bastards.

Sorry, I’m calm now. Sorry.

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emperorbailey· 102 weeks ago

Congratulations on your first stopping-watching-a-bad-show, Joel.
The wife and I actually watched like 9 terrible eps of Revolution, just because we do whatever JJ Abrams tells us to. I wish I had those hours back.

The Defiant, The Damned And The Dirty

I AM GOING TO BE IN CALGARY THIS WEEKEND FOR CALGARY EXPO!!! Details HERE. 

Here’s a new LoFi comic! 

I have lots of thoughts on SyFy’s Defiance, but I have to leave for the airport in about 12 hours (yes, 3am to catch a 6am international flight) so for now I will say give it a try.

The second episode is better than the pilot in terms of story and pacing, so I would recommend going at least that far before deciding whether or not it deserves a trial season pass on your DVR. The 2 hour pilot tried to establish the world of the show, but in many ways seemed to leave out key details that would give you a better understanding of how all these aliens came to be on Earth and why we were peacefully coexisting with a seemingly hostile invasion force. As of the 3rd hour of the show I still don’t have all that sorted out. I’m not sure who the agressor is, or if there even was one. I know there was a war, but I can’t tell who it was against. The main character, Shiny Captain Han Reynolds, is a member of the Defiant Few, a platoon that refused to fight and gave way to the uneasy peace with the 8 different races of aliens who all seem to be from the same planet. I understand revealing details in due time, but there are some important things about this high concept world the show would like me to be invested in that I really feel they’ve neglected to explain.

Ok, that was a bit of rambling, but I still say test Defiance out and see what you think. We need more (quality) Sci-Fi on TV and so far Defiance hasn’t revealed itself to be wholly without quality. There’s a good bit to enjoy now and a lot of room for improvement.

Regarding the similarities to Firefly, they are extremely apparent but innofensive. Firefly was 10 years ago. It’s about time it start inspiring a new generation of genre fiction.

COMMENTERS: Firefly was all about humans alone in the big ‘verse, where as nearly every other sci-fi space drama has involved extra terrestrials as friends, foes and unknowns. Which shows or movies do you think made the best use of aliens as real characters, or at least real and effective story elements? I feel like most Star Trek is disqualified in this argument because all of their aliens were just bumpy foreheaded humans that acted exacted exactly like (caricatures of) humans.

Comments (37)

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Gretchen · 110 weeks ago

I have a deep and abiding love of Babylon 5. I thought it integrated alien races and humans very well; some as enemies, some as allies, and some as “unknowns”.
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gabepuratekuta· 110 weeks ago

Did Eli have to crush his Bat-sicle while being Heston? It seems disrespectful and clearly a waste of good ice cream…

3 replies · active 110 weeks ago

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lou · 110 weeks ago

He’s gonna regret that when it leaks into his eye.
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Casey · 110 weeks ago

Farscape, enough said.

3 replies · active 110 weeks ago

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Jon · 110 weeks ago

+1

Of course Farscape and Defiance have producer Rockne S O’Bannon in common

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LeoP · 110 weeks ago

I have recently started re watching FarScape for the first time since it ran on TV. I just finished season one. I thought that most of the aliens fell into the sad trope that Star Trek did… most of them are humanoid bipeds except for a few specific puppets. Having said that, I honestly respect their attempt at making Rygel and Pilot real characters despite their lack of traditional human-like proportions. Still… I want to see more varied non-human-look-alike humans.
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Candace · 110 weeks ago

Although I haven’t re-watched FarScape as you recently have, I would say that some of the superficially humanoid aliens ultimately turned out to more deeply weird over time than they seemed at first – examples being Zhaan and Noranti.
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katznhund · 110 weeks ago

As a former resident of St. Louis, I just have to say that last panel is good stuff.

1 reply · active 109 weeks ago

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hijinksensue· 109 weeks ago

Im glad my hastily researched sports facts we’re offensive.
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melchar · 110 weeks ago

Another shout out for Babylon 5. The alien/human dynamic was excellent and the storyline is still satisfying now. A lot of other science fiction shows ‘age out’, but B5 remains re-watchable.
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oneswellfoop· 110 weeks ago

As a former resident of Los Angeles who grew up when the Rams was OUR team, St. Louis has all my sympathy..
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BluesFan · 110 weeks ago

What about the Blues? Hockey, sir!
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Mr C · 110 weeks ago

Actually the pilot episode of defiance is almost the same as the pilot for eureka (RIP)
http://www.memecenter.com/fun/1341067/defiance-an…

2 replies · active 110 weeks ago

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gabepuratekuta· 110 weeks ago

You’re an awful person for linking to that site
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Mr C · 110 weeks ago

At least it isn’t 9gag
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njmckay· 110 weeks ago

Doctor Who! Who doesn’t love the Daleks?
But i know most of the aliens they have are humanoid types like Star Trek and Farscape.

2 replies · active 110 weeks ago

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WhoFan · 110 weeks ago

I disagree there.. The new run of Doctor Who certainly has its share of humanoid aliens, however the originals (re: the first 7 doctors) had a plethora of non-humanoids. Mostly still rubber-suited people, but definitely not human shaped. Unfortunately, none of them really continue to be used in future episodes, so they are canon but not integrated species.
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njmckay· 110 weeks ago

I’ve only seen bits and pieces of the old series, not enough to really know all the aliens they had included. But that’s pretty awesome to hear that had odd shaped aliens.

I feel that one of the reasons why there are so many humanoid aliens is because it’s easier and cheaper to slab makeup on an actor.

WhoFan, They did bring back the Ice Warriors, who knows maybe Moffat has a few other reunions up his sleeve?

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Jason· 110 weeks ago

It’s on SyFy. The best I can hope for is that it doesn’t completely embarrass the genre.
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kingofmadcows· 110 weeks ago

DS9 shouldn’t be exempt since it had characters like Dukat, Garak, Quark, Odo, Kira, etc. As for shows where the aliens that don’t act human at all, I can’t really think of any. Even shows like Farscape had aliens with human like traits.

As for Defiance, there’s definitely a Babylon 5 vibe to it. The characters are interesting and have potential. However, the show does have its problems. The pilot was pretty predictable and there are some continuity issues that they need to address. Just a few potential continuity problems that I noticed:

The mayor said in this week’s episode that they drove out the Irathients with cold-fire weapons but during the battle in the last episode, they only had earth weapons and no alien weapons.

What happened to all the Volge wreckage from the battle? Shouldn’t they be scavenging the battlefield for tech and weapons that they can use?

The deputy was assigned to investigate who set Ben free and hired him to destroy the town but he just forgot about it and decided to save the guy who was being tortured.

They stopped Ben from blowing up the nuclear power plant but the power plant is still there so they better deal with it in the future or the bad guys could just send someone else to blow up the power plant.

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BowtiesAreCool · 110 weeks ago

Stargate SG-1 pulled the “we populated the universe…mostly” so when there were aliens, they usually were good because all the budget went into making the costumes.

Atlantis had the Wraith, and they were scary albino witch vampires…so there is that.

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wwlaos · 110 weeks ago

I can’t say I was “disappointed” by the pilot because, really, I expected worse, but I still thought it was terrible. Haven’t bothered to watch the second episode yet, but I’ll probably get around to that eventually.

As for shows treating aliens as real characters, obviously Star Tre -*reads the rest of your blurb* … you and me, we come from different worlds. 😐

1 reply · active 109 weeks ago

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The Unknown FB · 109 weeks ago

Actually, it helped if you Wiki’ed (if that’s a word now) about the show to read up on the background…but that doesn’t help the casual viewer who should be learning about the backstory (in broad strokes) PDQ into the show.
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Siirenias · 110 weeks ago

Of Star Trek, my favorite was the episode of ST: TNG where Geordi LaForge joins the crew of the Enterprise. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, go watch it. I’m not going to spoil it. I like the use of metaphysics to explain a theory of sentient evolution (that I’m sure most real physicists don’t really believe in). The effects, for their time, were pretty decent, and the drama and suspense were ratcheted up for that part.

In general…I think maybe Star Wars. Sadly, most of the movies did not focus much on the non-humanoids, or even the weirder humanoids, but between the Ewoks, the Mon Calamari, the various ruffians of Tatooine and the casual way alien reptiles were used as beasts of burden (and cavalry – apparently Taun Tauns were just hairy reptiles…somehow).

In the extended universe, many of these less human characters were free to roam around in the spotlight or as an integral part of the background noise of life in the galaxy. Of course, the quality of writing wasn’t always up to the task, but you can forgive a man his first love.

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Allen · 110 weeks ago

The Thing.

It was actually a free form jazz artist, but no one could comprehend the beat.

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anxiety.junkie · 110 weeks ago

It may be a weird choice, but I always thought Alien Nation was a great movie/series; especially when it was discovered that they had 3 genders.
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Mitch H. · 109 weeks ago

Julie Benz is back on television? Why does nobody tell me these things?

Does it suck more or less than No Ordinary Family?

3 replies · active 109 weeks ago

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DuckAmuck · 109 weeks ago

It sucks less. I think. It’s difficult to compare 2 different genres, 2 different “networks”.
Her character is a lot like her character from Dexter, but without all the abusive past and children.
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Mitch H. · 109 weeks ago

I like it, based on the pilot. Like Alien Nation filtered through Orguss and Warhammer 40k with some character-notes from Enemy Mine.
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hijinksensue· 109 weeks ago

NOTHING sucks more than No Ordinary Family except for maybe The Cape.
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emperorbailey· 99 weeks ago

Mass Effect has more alieney aliens than anything else I’ve seen. Elcor, hanar, geth. Crazypants.
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Beau Lebens· 76 weeks ago

This is just a test, I’ll delete it in a moment.