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And Everything In Its Place

When you take an iPad out of the bathroom, it’s actually like when you try and take the Holy Grail beyond the seal of the Grail Chamber. Your everything collapses, killing a 500 year old knight and some Nazis then you, Sean Connery and John Rhys-Davies ride off into the desert on horses or camels or whatever. It’s a whole thing.

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I will be at San Diego Comic-Con for the 4th year this week! Come see me at the Blind Ferret Booth (#1231) in the Webcomics area. I will have books and shirts, sketches, Lil’ Wil plushies and ??????THE MYSTERY BOX??????!!!! Speaking of books, if you buy HijiNKS ENSUE Vol’s 1 or 2 you’ll get a free mini print featuring my Sharknado sequel posters! More info HERE.

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Grammar Dalek · 100 weeks ago

THE GRAMMAR DALEK HAS AN APPRECIATION FOR WITTY CORRECTIONS.

Sharks Can’t Sleep

Wil and I made you a Sparks McGee T-Shirt! And we made a bunch of other t-shirts for that matter.

sparks mcgee t-shirt wil wheaton sharksplode

Confused? Of course you are! Read up on Sparks McGee and his awesome adventures.

The $9.95 closeout T-shirt sale is still going on in the HE Store. Here’s an update as to what sizes are left.

I enjoyed absolutely everything about Syfy’s Sharknado. If you didn’t watch it for whatever reason, you missed; a guy from 90210 shooting at least a dozen sharks out of the sky with a pistol from maybe a mile away, his son flying a helicopter into the titular Sharknado to drop pipe bombs into it, so many horrendous special FX (the movie would jump from HD, to SD to 90’s webcam resolution depending on how many FX were on screen at any given time), at least 3 scenes involving nothing but stock footage, sharks in a living room, sharks on the roofs of skyscrapers, sharks in the pool at the old folks home and the chainsaw… we musnt’ forget the chainsaw. Sweet miserable bastard, the chainsaw. I don’t think any other movie has caused me to audibly gasp then exclaim, “Don’t you dare. You monsters,” just before the climax.

Sharknado was certainly worth my time (a sentence that, upon reading it, and knowing full well that I typed it myself, I still do not understand), though the best part was watching it live with a bunch of my friends via Twitter. Many of my best friends are people I only see at conventions, which means we rarely, if ever have a chance to just sit down and enjoy making fun of a crappy movie together. Live tweeting Sharknado with Wil and Anne and Yuri made them not seem so far away and made me feel like we were all in the same room together having a good time (THEY actually were ALL in the same room together, but whatever). I guess my hope is some of the people watching the movie and reading along via Twitter with us felt like they were in the room too, and got to share in the experience of celebrating a truly majestic train wreck.

COMMENTERS: Did you watch Sharknado and possibly read along with my live tweets? Can you enjoy “So bad it’s good” movies are do you view all these Syfy Shark+whatever movies as “So bad it’s bad?” Any favorites in the genre?

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FarrisGoldstein· 101 weeks ago

Why is the bass not singing “Take Me To The River?”

1 reply · active 101 weeks ago

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josh· 101 weeks ago

Not even a Hurricanine?
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blaring · 101 weeks ago

Much better than my idea: “El Crabño”
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Poodles McGee · 101 weeks ago

I didn’t watch Sharknado, but I did follow along with your and Anne’s and Will’s tweets about it when I should have been studying/cleaning. Frankly, it was awesome and I have no regrets about being another day behind on school stuff.

The whole thing about you and them and all the other webcomic people whose stuff I read that I really love is that you guys all know each other and are at least respected colleagues if not outright friends. Watching you joke around and encourage each other and talk shop on Twitter and Tumblr gives people like me (who have a hard time making friends) a chance to sort of vicariously hang out with some really nice, hilarious people. The community/camaraderie you guys have is just as big a part of why I’m so enamored of webcomics as the actual comics themselves.

Sorry for the big sloppy love letter.

2 replies · active 101 weeks ago

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hijinksensue· 101 weeks ago

That’s really kind of you to say. Just so you know, MOST of the webcomics type people I am friends with would describe themselves as “has a hard time making friends” too.
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Bryce · 101 weeks ago

I think a lot of the introverted type of people would say that. Somehow I’ve wound up with a lot of friends who also have trouble making friends. And the obligatory outlier about whom it has to be said “no, she isn’t being sarcastic, she really IS that happy to meet you” at some discreet point after making introductions.
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Antonius · 101 weeks ago

BLIZARD!
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Leshka · 101 weeks ago

Not having TV, I was spared the knowledge of the exact time this movie came out. I did know it was arriving, though. One day a few weeks ago I was wearing my Sci-Fi movie title generator T-shirt and my friends and I were making up names. We figured Sharknado was an awesome title, and one guy searched online to tell us that, yes, someone else thought it was a good idea as well. Sad to say two other names were also actual movies (or close enough for Syfy exec work.)
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Green · 101 weeks ago

Yeah, I got to say, never been a fan of ironically watching stuff. Especially when the producers are *deliberately* trying to appeal to that crowd. Sharknado and the others of its ilk are all just, as you put it, so-bad-it’s-bad. 😛

1 reply · active 101 weeks ago

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hijinksensue· 101 weeks ago

I hear what you’re saying, but let me assure you there was ZERO irony involved in my Sharknado enjoyment. I was actually laughing hysterically for close to 2 hours which is a pretty genuine expression of emotion in my book.
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MrPlow99 · 100 weeks ago

With a sequel “Tsunhami 2: When Pigs Fly”
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Bryce · 101 weeks ago

I haven’t seen Sharknado, but do-bad-it’s-good movies really depend on the company. I saw Ninja Assassin (which since it was about an ex-ninja assassin who killed ninja assassins should have been named Ninja Assassin-Assassinating Ninja) and it was a hoot, but had I been alone I would have turned it off a few minutes in. Those kind of movies need people with whom to share your theories about ninja being trained to leap in front of speeding cars and pose menacingly before being hit.
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Alex· 101 weeks ago

I would totally buy a “Crabalanche!”-Shirt.

1 reply · active 100 weeks ago

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Chaucer59 · 100 weeks ago

Isn’t that something they serve at Joe’s Crab Shack. Tumbling from a mountain of curly fries beside a babbling butter brook?
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Merbrat· 101 weeks ago

I have some friends who regularly get together and trash bad SF movies. Usually, it’s dollar-bin movies, but I think they may have done this one live. Those are great, Joel! Crabalanche! Nor’Easter Bunny… LOL!
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xero · 101 weeks ago

Piranhacano half Piranha half volcvano
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Lynn · 101 weeks ago

I would totally watch “Big Mouth Bassteroid”
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KingMeIV · 101 weeks ago

Just watched Sharknado with my best friend last night, and I agree with everything you’ve said 100%. We regularly watch so-bad-it’s-good movies together, and these days they’re mostly Asylum Films. I have to recommend 3 Musketeers. Tagline? “All for one, and guns for all”.
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bobblebrad · 101 weeks ago

I’m seeing a possible title for the next book Joel… “Fancy Basteroid 2: Deep Hampact” Does Bruce Willis do audio books?

1 reply · active 99 weeks ago

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petsinwinter · 101 weeks ago

I watched it and followed along with your live tweets.
According to my dad, who was watching the hashtag instead, twitter turned into MST3K that night.
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bookbank1· 100 weeks ago

Do you listen to the “How Did This Get Made?” podcast? Every episode is such a love letter to so-bad-it’s-good movies, they make me laugh all the time (even when I disagree on the movie, and think it was just bad).

I will have to track down Sharknado, because it sounds amazing!

1 reply · active 100 weeks ago

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hijinksensue· 100 weeks ago

Yeah, HDTGM is one of my favorites.
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Stranger · 100 weeks ago

Im of the “So Bad Its Bad” school of thought. A bad movie isnt enjoyable to me, its just annoying and frustrating to watch. That someone took the time to make that garbage, and then expected people to enjoy it, is frankly just insulting. Its even worse when they try to be all self referential like they know it sucks, but then dont bother changing anything, because everything has to be goddamn meta now.
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weaselspoon · 100 weeks ago

I love So Bad It’s Good films. They’ve got to be a particular kind of bad, and then you have to go in knowing they are bad. When you’re at the cinema watching Poutrygeist: Night of the Chicken Dead (or any Troma for that matter) or The Room (ye gods, The Room), it becomes the audience united in laughing at the film.

I recently watched a film called Leviathon that had just won a major award and was definitely meant to be good. Half the audience walked out, and I clung on to the end but it didn’t improve. That was mostly awful because having been told this is an award winning film, your hopes are up. Had I known what to expect, we’d have thrown popcorn and shouted at the screen and it would have been fun.

After that, we saw Frankenstein’s Army. We threw popcorn and shouted at the screen. It was awesome. The director was there and he was awesome.

1 reply · active 100 weeks ago

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Stranger · 100 weeks ago

See, thats the stuff that bugs me. I can kind of forgive a movie for sucking if the director really gave it his best, but was limited by resources or his own lack of talent or whatever, like Ed Wood, but when the director has this painful self satisfied “look at this horrible movie I did” attitude, and actually goes to showings himself, its just… ugh. If youre not even going to TRY making a good movie, what the hell are you making movies for at all?
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gabepuratekuta· 100 weeks ago

Birdemic 2: Because We Hate Absolutely Everyone!
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Chaucer59 · 100 weeks ago

Yeah, my Dave So-Bad-It’s-Good entries also incoude a Troma delight: Chopper Chicks in Zombietown. Another that actually meant to be funny and occasionally succeeded we Revenge of the Killer Tomatoes, starring John Astin and a very young George Clooney. The pizza delivery guy comes to the spooky old mansion where Astin is turning tomatoes into muscle-bound hunks, and pizza boy sees all the big musclemen strolling the grounds carrying HKs and asks, “Who are all these guys.” The tomato-girl bimbo, in a perfectly robotic voice replies, “They are gardeners and carpenters. They are not tomato men.”

Classic.

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Chaucer59 · 100 weeks ago

Ugh. Gotta edit these iPhone posts that should be “my fave entries” and well, I guess the other typos are pretty obvious.
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deadrobot · 100 weeks ago

People! Spoiler Alert warnings please! Canada is getting this cinematic gem on Thursday!

I can’t wait for the scene in the diner when the shark fakes an orgasm and the old shark across the restaurant says “I’ll feeding frenzy what they’re feeding frenzy!”

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Tonny J. · 5 weeks ago

Im of the “So Bad Its Bad” school of thought. A bad movie isnt enjoyable to me, its just annoying and frustrating to watch. That someone took the time to make that garbage, and then expected people to enjoy it, is frankly just insulting. Its even worse when they try to be all self referential like they know it sucks, but then dont bother changing anything, because everything has to be goddamn meta now.

Hall H-E-Double Hockey Sticks

Wil and I made you a Sparks McGee T-Shirt! 

sparks mcgee t-shirt wil wheaton sharksplode

Confused? Of course you are! Read up on Sparks McGee and his awesome adventures.

Big thanks to my friend David for both creating Vampire Dog and not protesting too much when I told him I was stealing his idea and using it for a comic that he would also be in whether he wanted to or not. Here are some of David’s Vampire Dog tag lines:

  • This dog is man’s best fiend.
  • Vomits up your blood, then eats it again.
  • This dog really knows how to roll over and play UNDEAD.

I have lots of complicated feelings and opinions about San Diego Comicon. I recently did a write up on my Tumblr called “Everything I know about North American comic conventions.” Here’s what I had to say about SDCC:

SDCC (San Diego): Creators avoid at all costs. Fans? Go for it. Stand in line for 12 hours to see a panel and have a great time. This show is 100% about Hollywood blockbusters and 100% NOT about comics. Every artist I know hates it and threatens to never go back, but the first time you don’t go you lose your booth forever. And I do mean FOREVER. There is no space left and the waiting list is hundreds if not thousands long. It’s a deplorable mess for a guy like me. Sales aren’t as good as ECCC or Pheonix but costs are more than twice as high. It’s a status thing. I kind of hope it goes away or at least individual artists just stop going. Let Hollywood have it. That’s all any of the fans are spending money on anyway. The only reason to go to SDCC for me is to see my friends (All of whom dont want to be there), and for the offiste activities like w00tstock, Geek and Sundry and Nerd HQ, etc. The rest is a fucking nightmare.

I should add to that, the readers and fans I’ve met at SDCC have been some of the most supportive and gracious of any show I’ve ever done and I REALLY don’t want to diminish how special it is to get to meet them face to face, do sketches for them, talk about geek stuff and carve out a happy little shared experience in the midst of the geek world’s most unbearable “clusterfart.”

COMMENTERS: What’s the longest you’ve ever waited in line for something? A movie, a book release, a video game, a concert, a con panel? Was the wait worth it?

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Bill Murphy · 101 weeks ago

Zelda: Ocarina of Time pre-order.

I was the first person in the store. But the delivery wasn’t unpacked yet. They told me to come back in a half hour. (I came back in 15) to a store with 20 customers. Apparently, they never organized the pre-sale slips and they were just tossed into a box. The store continued to fill up so quickly that they had to from a line outside. So they grabbed a random slip from the box and called out the name. If there was no answer, they grabbed another slip.

This went on for four hours and I was one of the unlucky ones that was one of the last ten called. >:(

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Stephen · 101 weeks ago

So. Which is higher on the list: Teaching David how to curse, or finding out when the vampire dog panel is?

I think the longest I’ve waited in line was either for the Wii on Black Friday, or for Borderlands 2 the night it came out. Both at Gamestop.

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MichaelH · 101 weeks ago

I went there too! Didn’t wait four hours, instead my friend and I grabbed food first, then joined the queue somewhere back in Islington…maybe it was Camden… long queue anyway. Very worth it!
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kabann· 101 weeks ago

I’ll be there exclusively to see the innependents. Yo.
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Dave · 101 weeks ago

While this is a post where I’m going to say “Well I’m not like that” I want to be clear that I am NOT saying that what you say about comic-con is wrong. My Anecdote != Data. What this post IS trying to say is “Hey all you other comic-con go-ers… why not try to attack the con this way… you’ll have more fun! I promise”

I avoid Hall H and ballroom 20 like the plague. Truth is they’re just not worth it. Do I love Sherlock? Absolutely. Am I super excited for Agents of SHIELD? Oh you bet I am. Would it be a blast to see Matt Smith’s final con as Dr. Who? Oh you betcha.

But if I am to see any of those things I have to give up a huge chunk of my life in line, and even more watching panels for bad teen romances from the CW. All to get maybe 10 minutes of sneak preview footage, 20 minutes of honest to goodness awesomesauce, and 30 minutes of awkward questions from the fans promptly dodged by the folks on stage.

Friends, Neighbors, fellow con-goers, let me tell you that this is NOT worth it. At a certain point the OMG I AM IN THE SAME ROOM AS ROBERT DOWNEY JR wears off and you realize he’s just another dude. An awesomely cool dude who is charismatic and fun, but he’s a dude. You miss out on SO MUCH in order to ‘see’ him. Let’s be honest, more than likely you’re watching him on projected screens above the room. You lose out on so much to get those 20 minutes of awesome.

And then the convention floor… holy god is it crazy on the Hollywood side. My wife won’t even go. If we want to go see artist’s alley we leave the floor, walk down the front of the convention center, and come back in to avoid the massive flustercluck that is the hollywood booths. It’s so insanely crowded and people go so crazy over the chance to get a free sharpie that they’ll run you down… again, not worth it.

Here’s what we do: We hit the small press pavilion. HARD. We’ll wander up and down those aisles 4 or 5 times through the week. We hit the webcomics guys. There’s your chance to meet a real person. You’re not watching them on a screen while they’re 100 yards away surrounded by thousands of other people… they’re right in front of you making awkward small talk with you directly. You can buy something where your purchase MEANS something.

When we want to see a panel we look for something we’ve never done before. Something we’ve never seen before. Something way outside of our sphere.

The magic of the Con is experiencing your passion AND being exposed to someone elses’. There is SO MUCH passion at the con and none of it is to be found in the Hollywood panels. Those are carefully crafted commercials. Find something you have a passing interest and check out the amazing passion some people have for it. Learn some new detail you’ve never even thought of before. It’s a TON of fun and only costs you 1 hour none of which is spent in line.

If you must get the hollywood experience, why not check out some of the unique events they create outside of the con. The offsite Godzilla event looks pretty cool. The Tron arcade Disney put up was far superior than any panel they ever did. One time Adult Swim put together a skate party (with busses to take you to a roller rink to skate with Seth Green).

I can’t tell you how many friends of mine I have had fly in from across the nation to stay at my place and go to Comic-con and how many leave disappointed because they kicked and clawed and scratched to get into Hall H or Ballroom 20 and in the end came out frustrated, annoyed, and underwhelmed.

comic-con is what you want it to be. Every single kind of nerd passion is there. You don’t have to single out the big ones.

Oh and to answer the question, I once waited 3.5 hours to ride “Batman the Ride” at Six Flags Magic Mountain right after it opened. Totally wasn’t worth it. I also waited an hour for Star Wars Phantom Menace on opening night. That was worse than getting my head banged around by a gigantic metal contraption.

1 reply · active 101 weeks ago

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hijinksensue· 101 weeks ago

You speak the truth, but having been to so many cons I can assure you and everyone else that “The magic of the Con is experiencing your passion AND being exposed to someone elses’. ” is available at MUCH better, MUCH less insane, MUCH less hollywood focussed cons all over the country. Emerald City in Seattle is a great place to start.
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Katie Schenkel · 101 weeks ago

I need to believe that despite being from two different comic universe, Vampire Dog is a spin-off from Dog Cops from Hawkguy.
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Katie Schenkel · 101 weeks ago

Also I think the longest I’ve waited for something was for entrance into the wand shop in the Harry Potter theme park. It was August and sweltering and it was worth it.
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HikingViking · 101 weeks ago

I camped out overnight for Star Wars Episode I. That’s right. I spent the night waiting to see Jar Jar Binks. Was it worth it? Meesa don’t thinkie so.

3 replies · active 99 weeks ago

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hijinksensue· 101 weeks ago

Yousa people gonna have life long regrets?
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lou · 101 weeks ago

I don’t. I’m over whatever shame or disappointment watching the prequels may have induced. The key is just not watch them for a few years, then ease yourself back in, one scene at a time.
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emperorbailey· 99 weeks ago

I hear that.
Last year I also found and downloaded one of the “fan edits” of Ep 1. Almost no Jar Jar, no midichlorians, less senate floor, and nothing is “wizard.” It actually wasn’t a bad movie.
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Rick · 101 weeks ago

Vampire Dog is actually a thing. But you knew that. (I knew that because I have kids, and kids have no taste.)

2 replies · active 101 weeks ago

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hijinksensue· 101 weeks ago

I… I did not know this. I have to rethink everything in my life now.
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Dave · 101 weeks ago

Seconded. I know HE had a rough con last year, but a serious part of that had to do with Blind Ferret’s booth layout. Please tell me that this year you’ll have it set up so that more than one person can get ‘inside’ and look at the merch? I gave up trying to see your stuff after 3 times passing by.
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hijinksensue· 101 weeks ago

We have a different booth this year that should be larger and laid out more sensibly.
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hijinksensue· 101 weeks ago

It’s certainly not a giant fuck you to anyone but the organizers of the con. And, Im sorry, but its not your home town convention. It’s something else entirely. It’s a domed city that forms once a year and exists for a brief while like Brigadoon.
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hijinksensue· 101 weeks ago

You might enjoy TCAF. it’s SUPER small and free and in a library. A bit too artsy for my audience to show up in droves but ive never heard of a bad experience there.

Ill be at Fan Expo again. You should come say hi.

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hijinksensue· 101 weeks ago

My wife and I (correction, my 8 months pregnant wife and I) slept outside of a Target for probably 10 hours for a Wii. It was… not worth it.
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DetailBear· 101 weeks ago

I hope it will be a bit better in that (a) all the webcomics are together; (b) you’re near the Small Press Pavillion for synergy; (c) you should be out of line up range of the long lines for video games and autographs; and (d) you’re not in the path to any cafeteria line.

Good luck!

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Rick · 101 weeks ago

Mummy + Tumbler = Mumbler

2 replies · active 101 weeks ago

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Neph Sy · 101 weeks ago

I waited and slept in line on cement for 19 hours for the yearly opening of the student employment centre, and it snowed (this was May 1st!).
It was worth it, as I got first crack at a government job (they only let a small number of people apply for these government student jobs), which I kept for 3 years while going to school. I should never had admitted that I was going to graduate.
Other than that, can’t think of anything beyond standing in line outside in the heat for 1 hour to but tickets for Return of the Jedi
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agarda· 101 weeks ago

I used to go to SDCC long ago, first for fun (before it became so crowded) and then for work (I was in animation).

I miss aspects of it, but the crowds, inability to see panels because of said crowds and the crowds drive me nuts.

Really if I think about it, I miss lunch with friends I never get to see otherwise and meeting creators LIKE you Joel.

Then again, if I got off my ass for say NYC CC or whatever it’s called when you were there, I could take care of some of that.

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Michael Corley · 101 weeks ago

I’m still grinning at BOX PUNCH.
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lou · 101 weeks ago

I waited 5 hours in line to see quite a few movies at their midnight premieres. Well, “line” a loose term, because the waiting areas outside the cinemas weren’t very organized. If there’s time and someplace is still open, you could grab a bite to eat somewhere in the shopping center (all the cinemas where I live are attached to a shopping center or mall, so your dinner is just a short walk away). Strangely, it’s cheaper than theater snacks!
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anxiety.junkie · 101 weeks ago

When my husband (then boyfriend) and I lived in Reno, we spent over 4 hours waiting inside a club with no chairs to see Loverboy. (Yes, Loverboy.) I didn’t want to be there. After the 2nd hour I tried to get him to leave but he wouldn’t. At one point I saw a 6ft, 300+ lb woman in a full body fishnet stocking and a giant blond wig walk by.

They were 4 hours late, and then didn’t apologize or anything, just started playing. As I hatehatehate Loverboy, it was not worth it. (And I still married the guy…)

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Chaucer59 · 100 weeks ago

Four hours in the Texas sun saving places for my (step)daughter and her friends so try could get in to see Lemony Snicket. The girls were all eleven and twelve and I really thought I was just holding their place. My wife’s little Ariel had read all of Lemony Snicket’s Series of Unfortunate Events. I’d read a couple of the books to see what the brouhaha was. They were okay–nothing all that funny IMHO, but I was over 40. When the line started moving, though, Ariel gave me that baby seal look and said “But, Dennis, aren’t you coming in with us?” *Sigh* I’m easy. I was also surprised by the show. The man put on a hilarious show. He had the adults laughing as hard as the kids. So, yeah, definitely worthwhile.
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PowderMonkey · 100 weeks ago

Vampire Dog? Definite contender for 2013 Unfortunate Initals of the Year. Especially if you’re going to use the word ‘panel’ in conection with him – or is this all a thinly veiled public health initiative for the over-enthusiastic cos-players (“Yeah! Waited 6hrs for the V.D. Panel! You want to swab up my what now?!”)
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bowtiesarecool · 100 weeks ago

4 hours for the re-release of the original Star Wars trilogy, now with blinking Ewok eyes! I was first in line, and got a #1 written on a piece of paper. Very official…
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ian · 100 weeks ago

2 hours in a line at PAX for the wil wheaton panel because i was too tired for anything else. I think it was during the pax pox outbreak year

Jaeger Bomb

Wil and I made you a Sparks McGee T-Shirt! 

sparks mcgee t-shirt wil wheaton sharksplode

Confused? Of course you are! Read up on Sparks McGee and his awesome adventures.

Guys, please go see Pacific Rim. Let’s cancel this film’s financial apocalypse before it happens. Let’s be the giant robot heroes that stand up for the a movie that is basically a love letter to monters movies, robot movies, sci-fi, and nearly everything I hold dear all at the same time. Seriously, if my kid was in this movie I would probably cry just thinking about it.

Remember a few years ago when all the economists said the economy was going to go in the shitter, so people got terrified and stopped buying stuff and the economy went in the shitter? The jackbags calling an early death for Pacific Rim are participating in the same self fulling negativity. The more people that read “this movie is probably going to loose a hundred million dollars,” the more people are going to say “Meh, that won’t be good enough for the theater. I’ll see it on the bluetubes.” Stand up for scifi and robots and monsters and Idris Elba! GO SEE PACIFIC RIM THIS WEEKNED!

[Sweet miserable crapbastards, please don’t let this be another Prometheus…]

COMMENTERS: Have you ever assumed something (a movie, a tv show, a book, a game, a whatever) was no good because you read a bunch of negative press about it (not bad reviews, just general negativity), only to find out later that it was great? On the other hand, what thing that was SUPER HYPED WITH OVERWHELMING POSITIVITY were you the most disappointed in?  

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jjp · 101 weeks ago

District 9
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deadrobot · 101 weeks ago

The Lone Ranger.

What? I liked it!

1 reply · active 101 weeks ago

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Myles · 101 weeks ago

Woo! High five!

I think part of why I liked it was expecting it to be a 3-4 out of 10 at best, so I was pleasantly surprised it was about a 7 for me. Also, having few to no expectations due to never having seen/heard any old lone ranger episodes.

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Kernanator · 101 weeks ago

Meanwhile, in Ancient Greece, someone complains that they like Hercules better when he was called Gilgamesh.
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hijinksensue· 101 weeks ago

You’re our only hope.
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Daveren · 101 weeks ago

godspeed you fancy bastard.
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Fren · 101 weeks ago

Whether or not it sucks, I’m giving them my money just to support the concept. We NEED more film like this. Where’s my live-action Voltron?

I’m just glad they stopped making films based on board games. Rock ’em Sock ’em Robots: The Movie was horrid, Battleship was worse, and Hungry Hungry Hippos the TV program is bluh. Give us more kaiju!

2 replies · active 101 weeks ago

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lou · 101 weeks ago

There’s a Hungry hungry Hippos TV show?!
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Fren · 101 weeks ago

You may refer to it as Here Comes Honey Boo-Boo.
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Jason· 101 weeks ago

Super hyped with overwhelming positivity, but ended up sucking? Easy.

Star Wars: Episode I.

Remember how excited we all were when the trailers came out for that? It was going to be so great! *sobs*

1 reply · active 101 weeks ago

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hijinksensue· 101 weeks ago

Had the world ended after the trailers for episode 1 but before the movie came out, we’d all be happier.
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DuckAmuck · 101 weeks ago

All of the Matrix movies.

I read/heard bad things about the first one, which turned out to be awesome.
Everyone super-hyped *all others* which sucked so much I refuse to admit they exist.
The “story” didn’t need them.

1 reply · active 101 weeks ago

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Myles · 101 weeks ago

wait, you heard the first sucked but the others were awesome?

Your friends are from a mirror universe. Draw goatees on their faces then kill them to preserve the sanctity of our existence.

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Bill Murphy · 101 weeks ago

Godzilla. The one in the late 90’s with the guy from that movie where he does that thing.

2 replies · active 101 weeks ago

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hijinksensue· 101 weeks ago

Oh man. That was a MEDIA FUCKTON BLITZ, wasn’t it? I probably still have one of those Taco Bell cups somewhere.
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gabepuratekuta· 101 weeks ago

Oh god…. I have the movie on VHS somewhere. I was young and naive and knew nothing of the true greatness of the King of Monsters so I thought it was a good film…

That’s all been rectified now that I know better

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Dave · 101 weeks ago

Got to see a free advance screening of Pacific Rim yesterday.

GO SEE THIS MOVIE. I never watch movies twice but I’m going this weekend because it’s good enough that I should have paid for it…. so I will.

It is SO much fun you guys. It’s the perfect example of the difference between a big dumb fun movie that doesn’t ask you to think and a big asshole movie that assumes you are too stupid to think.

Beautiful fun escapism as opposed to whatever the hell Michael Bay thinks he’s doing.

Go See It.

2 replies · active 101 weeks ago

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deadrobot · 101 weeks ago

So… it was good?
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Dave · 101 weeks ago

Go see it and find out for yourself!
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Katie · 101 weeks ago

Prometheus. I caught it on cable recently and really enjoyed it. Yeah, there are some plot problems with it, but not enough to warrant the hate it got.

As for a super-hyped shitty movie… I don’t know. Maybe Sucker Punch? Was that movie super-hyped? I know I absolutely hated it.

2 replies · active 101 weeks ago

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hijinksensue· 101 weeks ago

It wasn’t so much super hyped as it was SUPER directed at nerds, so I think we felt it more than most. And yes it was terrible.
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HandiGoat · 101 weeks ago

I think that movie was more of a demographic fail than an honestly bad movie. As an appreciator of both nerditry and “film art”-type-movies, I would put it 100% in the latter category. My girlfriend (who mostly loves foreign and independent films) absolutely adores it.
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Jenn · 101 weeks ago

I have never assumed a movie would be bad and got a surprise of goodness, but I have had a hyped up movie disappoint me… Avatar was NOT as good as everyone said it was. I am not saying it was horrible, I just felt it was merely an ok film that was hyped to be the be all and end all of the film world. A CG’d live action FernGully is all I got out of that.
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Kirby · 101 weeks ago

I’m bad at not liking things. I’ve only ever disliked one movie that I’ve seen, and that was because I was a kid, wanted to see a war movie, and went to see Jarhead.

I always like movies when I go to see them. Sucker Punch, John Carter, the Matrix Sequels… the Star Wars Prequels… etc.

1 reply · active 101 weeks ago

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lou · 101 weeks ago

You’re a brave person to admit those things.
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Chaucer59 · 101 weeks ago

God, so many bad, over-hyped movies:

Avatar (Dances with Toruks or Ferngully in Space)

Aliens (Alien was a brilliant horror movie. Aliens was a 2hr 17 minute long demo for a single-shooter video game)

There Will Be Blood (should have been here called There Will Be Rigo Mortis)

Kenneth Branagh’s Hamlet (Branagh must still be picking scenery out of his teeth)

Dances With Wolves (if I were Lakota Sioux, I would hunt down and kill Kevin Costner with my bear hands)

2 replies · active 101 weeks ago

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MrSueDenim· 101 weeks ago

Upvoted for Avatar; wanted to downvote for Aliens.
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HandiGoat · 101 weeks ago

You’re so racist: Native Americans don’t actually have bear hands. They do have eagle wings, however.
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Candace · 101 weeks ago

Yeah, I thought Avatar was overrated, too.

I don’t usually let bad reviews put me off of seeing a movie I otherwise would want to see. I often find that I disagree with critics and the opinions of the majority.

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MrSueDenim· 101 weeks ago

John Carter. I’m the only person I know who saw it in theatres and everyone I know who saw it later loved it.

1 reply · active 100 weeks ago

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anxiety.junkie · 100 weeks ago

This +1000. I loved this movie, and I actually have read the book (and most of the sequels). Love it.
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HandiGoat · 101 weeks ago

Pleasantly surprised by: Harry Potter. I was expecting a bunch of kids’ movies. What I got was a bunch of teenager movies, so I’ll call that a win.
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furrbear· 101 weeks ago

When Legally Blonde first came out, I thought “Oh, great, a movie about a rich ditzy blonde – PASS!”

And then much later I saw the film described in ways that made me think “wait – WHAT?” and I rented it… and discovered how dreadfully wrong I’d been. I don’t know if the advertising was misleading or if it was my own internal biases or a little of both, but it’s now one of my favorite films. (The sequel… not so much; the main reason to see that is for Bob Newhart.)

1 reply · active 101 weeks ago

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Trebor · 101 weeks ago

I thought it’d be such a chick flick that I refused to acknowledge it when it came to the cinema. Then when a friend got me the DVD as a *Joke* present I decided to watch it one afternoon when I was bored. I couldn’t believe how funny it was and Reese Witherspoon did such a good job with the part.
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MrSueDenim· 101 weeks ago

Just saw Pacific Rim. Delightful fun. Robots smash monsters.
Now I want Guillermo del Toro to direct a Rufallo Hulk movie.
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Mcecny · 100 weeks ago

Pacific Rim was fantastic! Great movie
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Stranger · 100 weeks ago

The Dark Knight Rises. UGH. Such a great predecessor, and Nolan gives us that trainwreck?

Now It’s Time To Leave The Capsule If You Dare

THE END, FOREVER… of this storyline!

I should probably mention that I will be at San Diego Comicon this year with Blind Ferret and Something*Positive at booth #1231. I will have books and shirts and prints and sketches and a look on my face like, “WHAT IS EVEN GOING ON THIS WHOLE SITUATION IS OUT OF CONTROL WHY DO THEY EVEN CALL THIS A CON WHY NOT JUST CALL IT FUCK YOU?!?!?”

66e0397be18704e82e246b727f349807

COMMENTERS: If a post-apocalyptic future group of nomadic wasteland types had only one movie to base a belief system and eventually a society around, which should it be and why? Don’t say Galaxy Quest, because that would be so meta the Omega 13 would collapse on itself.

Comments (52)

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Jason· 99 weeks ago

Is Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure too meta also?

1 · active 97 weeks ago

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emperorbailey· 97 weeks ago

How about “The Gods Must Be Crazy”? That’s pretty meta too.
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Djorra· 99 weeks ago

Probably 2001: A Space Odyssey.

1 · active 99 weeks ago

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Jane· 99 weeks ago

Can’t be. That makes too much sense.
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CatVonAwesome· 99 weeks ago

Oh yay! I was wondering if you were going to be at SDCC but wasn’t going to ask since I have heard you not love it. But, I missed you the last time I went and I’m going again this year! Booth noted!

1 · active 99 weeks ago

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hijinksensue· 99 weeks ago

I love the people and I love the readers and I love the friends, but the con…. webcomics are not the reason people go to SDCC. We’re almost in the way.
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Outis· 99 weeks ago

I would really like to see the Religion that would develop out of Monty Pythons Meaning of Life

2 replies · active 99 weeks ago

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lou· 99 weeks ago

Or do you mean Life of Brian?
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Faye· 99 weeks ago

I honestly expected the first Python reference to be Life of Brian, good pick with Meaning of Life!
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MrPlow99· 99 weeks ago

I’ll have to go with Dogma since they specifically advocate against belief systems in the movie. So then you’d have a belief system based upon not having a belief system.

3 replies · active 99 weeks ago

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lou· 99 weeks ago

Now THAT would cause a universe-collapsing paradox.
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HandiGoat· 99 weeks ago

Isn’t that basically Nihilism?
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HikingViking· 99 weeks ago

If they ever do make that Arrested Development movie, that would probably get my vote. Terrifying tales of the Loose Seal breaking out across the wasteland. The chicken dance actually becoming an offensive gesture. “Hot Patato” becoming the national anthem, or scattered tribe anthem I guess. But even better than that would be a postapocalyptic movie that mentions the “good old days”, but never shows what they were. Because how awesome would that be? Imagine if you found a movie that showed life like it is today, but always referenced how great things were “before the fall.” What the hell would that mean? “Oh, we had a cure for AIDS before the fall” someone would say forlornly. What the hell does that even mean?
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gabepuratekuta· 99 weeks ago

The Big Lebowsky. Just imagine them building statues of The Dude…., their appointed leaders all growing beards and wearing bathrobes everywhere…, and their greatest law would be “Ho not piss on another man’s rug”
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inkstud· 99 weeks ago

Dumb and Dumberer
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Mysterious Stranger· 99 weeks ago

Showgirls.

1 · active 99 weeks ago

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hijinksensue· 99 weeks ago

[ACTUAL LOL]
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Liam· 99 weeks ago

One of those Friedberg and Seltzer movies.
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That guy· 99 weeks ago

Airplane.
“Surely, you’re not serious?” “Yes and don’t call me Shirley.”
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Katie· 99 weeks ago

Romy and Michelle’s High School Reunion. Because I’d like to imagine a post-apocalyptic church all simultaneously shouting, “I’m the Mary! I’m the Mary!” And then ending each service with a crazy dance to Time After Time. They’d also know the recipe for glue.

Reruns of the Mary Tyler Moore Show and Rhoda would be their Dead Sea Scrolls.

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Candace· 99 weeks ago

Rocky Horror Picture Show. Enough said.
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tomspeelman· 99 weeks ago

The Lion King; think about it. Hakuna Matata is a mantra in and of itself.
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sam· 99 weeks ago

Okay, I won’t say Galaxy Quest… the Last Action Hero.
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Batman1016· 99 weeks ago

Cloud Atlas. How’s that meta for you? A post-apocalyptic society based on a film about a post-apocalyptic society based on a the writings of a clone with a worldview based on a film about freedom from persecution and imprisonment, based on the life of an old man . . . etc, etc.

Course, with my luck, PA society will be based on some shite Tim Burton flick or the Twilight series. Just a planet full of emo jagoffs who worship Johnny Depp and Stephenie Meyer.

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Earlofthercs· 99 weeks ago

Ralph Bakshi’s Wizards?

1 · active 99 weeks ago

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Mark F· 99 weeks ago

Or Fritz the cat. The black crow would be the first marytr.
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YoYo_lax· 99 weeks ago

The music video to Rick Astley’s “Never Gonna Give You Up.”

You just got trolled future scattered remnants of humanity on the brink of extinction. So take that.

1 · active 99 weeks ago

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YoYo_lax· 99 weeks ago

Scratch that, “The Warriors.” Thus ensuring an irrational fear of bottles and 80’s hair bands.
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Bron· 99 weeks ago

I’m really supprised no one has said the princess bride yet…..

So that or Blues Brothers (the initial film obviously….)

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benthorp· 99 weeks ago

Presumably suggesting “The Passion of the Christ” would be a bit too meta aswell 😉
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bubujin_2· 99 weeks ago

“Pleasantville” would do the trick me thinks.
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Faye· 99 weeks ago

Serenity: because at least they’ll understand the references to Earth That Was.
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DuckAmuck· 99 weeks ago

Good god, people. The answer is obviously Army of Darkness.

Everyone goes to bed at night saying “Klattu Beratta Necktie” and wonders why they have nightmares. “It’s a trick, get an axe” is the standard greeting. Every kid hopes they get the chainsaw hand for Boom-stick-mas.

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Ceri· 99 weeks ago

Zardoz. Yeah, you heard me.
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Chaucer59· 99 weeks ago

Has to be tge Big Lebowski. The priest stands over the baptismal font as the initiate is pushed in, backwards, fully clothed; whereupon the priest casts the wild ferret into the tub. As the ferret (having been fed peyote) tries to claw through the initiates chest, he cries out, “Get this fucking marmot offa me!” The parishioners respond, “Get this fucking marmot offa me!” As two deacons roll the initiate into a rug, the priest’s assistant, dressed as a Valkyrie, is lowered on wires onto the altar and rolls her bowling ball into the assembly.

“The Dude abides,” saith the priest.

“The Dude abides,” respond the parishioners.

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Alan Grayson· 99 weeks ago

I’m surprised no Fight Club but if I was taking this seriously I’d say Into Great Silence because they haven’t made of movie of A Canticle for Leibowitz yet (and too bad theres no movie of Phillip K. Dick’s Dr. Bloodmoney, or How We Got Along After the Bomb) but in my heart I say The Charlie Brown Christmas Special even though its technically not a movie.
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Bryce· 99 weeks ago

Alien
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Jackson· 99 weeks ago

I’m going to be completely honest with you, Joel. If The Adventures of Spaag and Skeev were a webcomic, I would read it. I would read it every update. I would subscribe to the RSS Feed.

1 · active 99 weeks ago

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runcibletune· 99 weeks ago

I really want to see them take the box back to Motherboss.
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Allen· 99 weeks ago

Ghostbusters. The pantheon consists of everyone who’s ever been asked if they’re a god.

1 · active 99 weeks ago

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lou· 99 weeks ago

“Ray, if someone asks if you are a god, you say YES!” Words to live by.
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lou· 99 weeks ago

I say we follow Peter Griffin’s example and establish the Church of the Fonz. Imagine what kind of ceremony you’ll involve jumping over a shark for.
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HandiGoat· 99 weeks ago

I think it should be Mad Max, because future dystopian peoples deserve to get to high-five eachother knowing that they got it right.
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Tony· 99 weeks ago

I’m going to throw what I think might be a curveball and suggest: Rosencrantz and Gldenestern are Dead.
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AttilaThePBNun· 99 weeks ago

How about a Disney movie? “The Aristocats’; what would a society based on a cartoon movie about talking animals be like? Would they all be vegetarians? Expect for fish, of course. They’d eat fish ….
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allen· 99 weeks ago

This comic clearly is calling out for a Spaag and Skeev spin-off series.
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lou· 99 weeks ago

I just love comic-Eli’s insane optimism, even in the face of logic and there’s easier ways to do things. Is he like this all the time?