Moist and Delicious Cake

The world has gone 8 kinds of ape shit for a 3 hour video game called Portal, and it’s citrus flavored container. Josh has scolded me on multiple occasions for not not playing it yet. He doesn’t understand that his simple directive of “JUST PLAY THE GOD DAMN GAME, YOU’LL BE SO FUCKING HAPPY WHEN IT’S OVER! FUCK YOU!” actually translates to “Go buy an Xbox 360 and The Orange Box just so you can play Portal, OR install Windows on your Mac via Bootcamp and procure the game via less-than-legal means JUST TO PLAY PORTAL! FUCK YOU!”

It’s more likely that I would drop $400 on a game system to play one game (I paid $250 for Wii Sports, didn’t I?) than it is that I would ever let a Microsoft OS creep its insidious creepy insidiousness onto my Macbook Pro.

Though I’ve yet to experience Portal’s glory hole game play magnificence, I have fully engrossed myself in Jonathan Coulton’s contribution to the title. Read more about “Still Alive” on JoCo’s site.

Shaun of the Trek

New Trek Reboot casting keeps flying out of the J.J. Abrams camp. Some dude is most likely going to be Kirk while the Incredible Hulk plays some random bad guy. And some chick is Uhura. And some Russian dude is all set to say “Nuclear Wessels.” Those less interesting bits aside, the rest of the crew seems to be fleshing out into some sort of geek/stoner/loser dream team.

I see J.J. (we’re on a first two initial basis. He calls me J.F.) rifling through a pile of DVD’s, comic books, and video games just yelling out names and roles at random while his assistant frantically calls their agents.

“Here’s Futurama Season 2! Let’s get Planet Express Ship to be the Enterprise. See if Sigourney Weaver is available to do the voice. Oooh, call Shigeru Miyamoto and see if Super Nintendo can play Ambassador Sarek! He would be perfect. And I want the Macho Man Randy Savage in a triple tag team with Julius Ceaser and the Planet Mercury to be the red shirts. They all die on the first beam down. Are you getting all of this? This is gold! I lactate geeky hollywood gold. Shelley, are you writing this?”

Thanks to everyone that voted for todays comic topic. I’m sure I will do more of that in the near future. Pegg-Trek won out over Thundercats/Gears of War with 52% of the vote as of this writing.

In the coming week, look for new Apple Insider Comics from your truly, as well and new and exciting developments right here on H.E.

Wiimo

Wii + Emo = Wiimo. Now solve for N.

I am a leaf on the wind. Watch how I soar.

Eli still hasn’t washed that shirt. Get it? Washed?

Quick post today, so I can get back to toiling in the pixel mines. Alan Tudyk is known for being a gossip and a trouble maker, and a generally cantankerous individual. So it’s no wonder he is out there in Hollywood spreading vicious rumors of a Serenity Sequel (that’s BDS to you of the brown coated persuasion). Actually he’s a very talented and gracious man. My wife and I met him in New York a couple of years ago and I was thoroughly impressed with his treatment of random fans on the street. Also he can sing.

Just as I was about to support the cuase and buy a gross of the Serenity: Collectors Edition DVD’s, I found out that it all may have been a misunderstanding. He might have been talking about “another one” as in “another collectors DVD.”

Keep your fingers crossed and your psychopath/telepath combat-conditioned sisters medicated. If we all buy 40 or 50 Serenity DVD’s we might get a new movie. Remember, they can’t take the sky from us… except that they did.

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I’m in the process of launching an HE store (shirts, etc). Anyone have advice for a shirt printing service other than CafePress? I hear tell they are teh bitches.

Also, anyone want a desktop background with Joel and Eli sitting at the coffee shop? I have a nice hi-res version of that I could work up into a couple of different res’s.

Superman II: The Quest For an Unlocked iPhone

What is up with the tardiness? The last several days I’ve been hard at work on the Super Secret Project(TM). Enough with the waiting, here it is: Apple Insider Comics. A.I. approached me about doing a comic series for them after reading my iPhone Rebate comic. Have a look and drop me a line with your feedback. This should be fun.

I hope you enjoyed today’s comic. This one is a thinker. What does Steve Jobs or the iPhone have to do with Superman II? It’s a riddle. I’ll give you a clue. The answer is hidden somewhere in the comic. Here’s another clue. They don’t have anything to do with each other and the comic doesnt make any sense. In actuality, I was talking to Mikey about Terrance Stamp last weekend and as I drifted off instead of listening to him, I came up with this comic.

THE CREATIVE PROCESS REVEALED!!!

I wonder what Steve’s name is in this one. Steve-El? Jor-Obs? I guess the silken thread connecting all these unrelated concepts was that Steve said, “Go ahead! h4X0rz the shit out of the iPhone!” Then, later, he redacted that statement with, “OH NOZ! Do not h4X0rZ teh iPwn3!!! They R tryz 2 steal mah buckit!!!”

Seriously, I’m just putting LOLCATS references in everything I do from now on.

“Mr. Watson, the charges against you are very serious. How do you plead?”

“Your Honor, Teh gluvs do not fit! I CAN HAZ AQUIT?”

That’s exactly how I am rolling from now on.

I will conclude with this brief tale of woe. I call it, “The Worst Illegal File Sharing Scenario Ever.”

I was working on this comic and realized I needed to see the opening scene of Superman II to get the look right. I IM’d Josh and he had it, but only on HD-DVD. So my brilliant idea is to have us both open iChat and have him point his Macbook Pro at the screen. Admittedly, that is a retarded idea but it gets worse. Josh’s new apartment doesn’t have internet yet, so he is leeching WiFi from his neighbor’s signal… which only works in his bathroom. He’s been interneting on the toilet for a week. So he tried to record it with iMovie and email it to me, but iMovie freaked out. Then he pulls out his point and shoot camera and records the first 5 minutes of Superman II to SD card and transfers the AVI to me over IM. Then we invented the vulcanization process making the wide spread use of rubber possible and practical! Seriously, this was dark ages shit we were attempting. I’m surprised there wasn’t a Dictaphone involved.