A Fistful of Joshes

Josh: did you watch the wwdc feed?
Joel: nah
Joel: i read it all
Josh: i’m watching the video of all the 3rd party apps
Joel: my iphone is worth negative nothing
Josh: some neat stuff
Josh: i’ll probably get monkey ball
Josh: because that game is pure fun
Joel: get band
Joel: are you getting the phone?
Josh: are you high?
Joel: hahahahahah
Josh: exactly
Josh: and they’re only half the price
Joel: seems like a marginal upgrdae
Josh: so i can buy 2

I predict about 2 million original iPhones hitting eBay and Craigslist in a couple of weeks. Anyone want to buy a 1st gen iPhone, previously owned by “THE Joel Watson?” What about “THE Joel Watson’s” wife?” She’s semi-internet famous by association.

La Siesta Más Peligrosa

Eli is a heavy sleeper.

Who is that striking fellow making off with Eli’s fillings? Why it’s Boxcar Pete, the ~~lovable transient~~ stab-happy hobo. Pete will have his fill of fortified wine tonight, I tell you. The alley behind the Burger King will echo with the songs of his adventures.

I know this isn’t your typical HE fare. No geek references or Cylon jokes. Sometime I like to draw squirrels. This was one of those times.

(It means, “The Most Dangerous Nap”)

I wanna’ pork you like an animal

Like, maybe a pig.

Earlier this year pioneers of dock-worker rock, Journey, found a new lead singer (their 4th?) by scouring Journey cover bands and karaoke masters on the Youtubes. I’ve done some scientific testing (listening with headphones) and Arnel Pineda sounds more like Steve Perry than Steve Effing Perry (his actual middle name).

Just last week Boston announced they had hired a Home Depot employee to replace late lead singer Brad Delp after hearing his renditions of their songs on Myspace.

“Hi, this is one of the dudes from Boston. We heard your Myspace songs and we want you to sing in our band.”

“Real funny, Steve. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to stock these hex wrenches and 1/4 inch washers. Dick.”

I heard the guy and he does a passable karaoke Boston-style impression, but that’s about it. Sad, because Boston is in my top 5 classic rock bands of all time. Their message of finding happiness through rock and roll always inspired me. No joke.

So, who knows, maybe Josh can take over when Trent Reznor retires (i.e. is piece by piece carried back to the depths from whence he was spawned by one thousand blood-eyed crows).

I hope more bands turn to Youtube for their new singers. I want Tay Zonday to spread his chocolate rain on Velvet Revolver before they get a chance to do a fucking reality show, and the Numa Numa guy to sign on with… whatever group made the Numa Numa song in the first place.

Which Inter-video-tard and band would you pair up?

UPDATE:
Nevermind. Tay Zonday already replaced Rivers Cuomo in Weezer. The end is nigh. (via Bill)

Abort Launch Sequence

When the ONLY toilet on the International Space Station breaks down, do you call Robo-Rooter? (ba-doom shpee!) Thank you, thank you. Tip your waitresses.

Supposedly they rigged a system that let’s them pee into a bag. I imagine you could get the full experience if you watched the scene in Apollo 13 where they dump all the trash on the table and try to build an air filter. Except, ya’ know, they need a floating urine collection device instead of an air filter.

The whole scenario reminds me of this picture of Josh:

I like to call it, “Cause and Effect” or “Preemptive Strike.”

UPDATE:
Oh crap (no pun) they fixed it.

Can’t Stop The Signal Fire

Universal Studios is burning. No, there weren’t any reports of Firefly/Serenity set pieces going up in flames, but they did lose the Courthouse from Back to the Future. If any of you find yourselves traveling in the past to June 1st 2008 and you have to solve a time paradox that requires a massive fire, I know exactly when and where you will be able to find one. Unless that already happened and you actually traveled back in time to cause the fire. If that’s the case, go about your paradoxical business and don’t mind me.

Tomorrow is my 27th birthday. I anticipate cake.