Thanksgravy: Full Sequence

“Doctor” shirts are back in stock! “Winter” shirts are back in stock! “George” Shirts are back in stock! And now we have all three of those designs in LADIES, LADIES, LADIES sizes!

“I will suspend the GraVaVavy sphere in a quantum neutrino field until it can be safely entombed in a sheep’s stomach then placed in my chest in place of my human heart. I will have the power of 100 pilgrims and the wisdom of 1000 turkeys! I will be… THE OMEGARAVY MAN!”

Thanksgravy comes but once a year, but if we hold the true Thanksgravy spirit in our hearts and our giblet encrusted arteries, we can keep its blessings with us all year ’round. I spent Second Thanksgravy (it’s like Elevensies, but later at night and with more booze) this year with Josh IRL, his husband Jeff and some of their family and friends. It was a wonderful evening. Jeff made Josh a pecan pie using the authentic Luby’s Cafeteria recipe. Luby’s: Where the aged and infirm come to gum their final meal!

Have you ever seen a Cherpumple? GIS that nonsense. It’s like leafing through autopsy photos. You want to look away, but you can’t. Also you get really hungry and ashamed at the same time.

One does not simply Cherpumple into Mordor.

COMMENTERS: Share your Thanksgravy stories. Ever had a non-traditional Thanksgravy? Weird food? Weird location? Weird family? How would you perfect the Cherpumple? What else needs to be crammed in a cake with all those pies?

Not Cool Cool Cool Cool, NBC

Not cool cool cool cool at all.

TV actors live under the constant threat of their livelihoods being ripped away by some faceless executive. Which I suppose is better than having their faces ripped away by some lifeless executive. It has to be an unbelievable shock going from a professionally unemployed actor to making 10’s of thousands of dollars a week to wondering how you’re going to afford your pool boy’s Lexus payment when essentially not of the decisions that affect those major life changes are in your control. Hollywood is basically a glorified temp service broadcast to the world.

I’m a big Community fan, and it’s a shame to see NBC shelve their second best show (sorry Abed-heads, but 30 Rock is perfect) because not a wide enough swath of middle America can relate to its deep pop culture references, bizarre concept episodes and general geekiness. It’s one of the only shows actually pushing the boundries of what can be done with a comedy on network TV. I guess the problem is if you keep pushing boundaries, you eventually hit a wall. I hope the show rebounds and comes back stronger than ever, but it might just be too quirky, smart and genuinely funny to survive. At least we still have Whitney, right? What do you bring to your Whitney viewing parties? Chocolate? Red wine? A bullet?

COMMENTERS: Lament the seemingly inevitable demise of Community, or dare to proclaim why you won’t miss it once it’s gone (is it because you had your human heart replaced with a can of powdered turnips?). Feel free to post links to your Inspector Spacetime fanfic in the comments as well.

The Hip Hop And The White Funk

HijiNKS ENSUE Holiday Cards are back!

AWESOME NEWS! My Desertbus auction to appear in a HijiNKS ENSUE comic raised $410 for Child’s Play. Thanks to all who bid and especially to Fancy Bastard Luke T. who won!

FANCY BASTARD ASSEMBLE Limited print update: The prints are at my house and will start shipping this week. Thank you for your patience.

Josh may be a bit off base, but Jesus, are those shows really 20 years old? I guess I’ll just crawl in bed and wait for my organs to fail. I came up for the idea for this comic while watching YouTube videos of the 80’s cartoon Kidd Video. Each animated episode would feature a live action music video from the show’s real titular fake band. I couldn’t help but thinking things might not have gone well for the four ethnically diverse, hair teased teens miming those instruments. That’s when I remembered that Nickelodeon offspring channel TeenNick recently started airing many of the early 90’s shows I used to watch as a kid.

All That (the preteen’s answer to SNL and the pedophile’s answer to Kids In The Hall), Hey Dude (another Nick show about 16 year olds that NEVER EVER EVER leave their summer jobs) and Doug (which broke new ground in racial discourse by featuring the only white kid in an all colored neighborhood) are all part of the “90’s Are All That” block. This sent me down a man eatin’ jack rabbit hole of Youtube videos and wiki articles. I emerged on the other side, feeling so much older and hardly any wiser, yet grasping on to this fundamental truth: Out Of Control and Weinerville were actually things, and not just chickenpox induced fever dreams.

Like it or not, these shows (along with Clarissa Explains It All, Welcome Freshman, Double Dare, The Adventures Of Pete And Pete, Salute Your Shorts, etc) really informed my sense of humor and popular culture at an impressionable age. Back in the early 90’s Nick was a sort of content generating machine geared specifically to my age group. You also never needed to change the channel. I also wasn’t really allowed to. At the time, we had basic cable and I was allowed to watched the 3 major networks, Disney (11) and Nick (31). I was NOT allowed to surf through the channels in between. I had to dial those particular stations in directly, lest my young mind be inappropriately influenced by C-SPAN or worse yet QVC. This limited selection is actually the main reason I am so well versed in 50’s black and white TV. I pretty much dialed in channel 31 and left it there from afternoon cartoons to Nick at Nite. Well, except for when I was watching The Mickey Mouse Club. I was only human.

COMMENTERS: Any special affinity for 90’s Nick TV? Remember those weird british Sci-Fi shows they used to import? Alien tweens in search of their parents or some such. Also did you, like me, breathe a big sigh of relief when you finally realized a lot of Nick’s shows were filmed in Canada and that accounted for why they seemed ever so slightly off? No? Just me? I’m going back to the organ failure thing.

Occupy Jumpstreet

“Winter Is Coming” shirts are now IN THE STORE!!! [based on this comic]

Cops are tazing our grandmas with pepper spray, and the government is SOPA’ing the Internet into oblivion. Everything is terrible forever. I can’t think about it too much or it gets kind of terribly depressing.

Did you ever want to be in a HijiNKS ENSUE Comic? No? What about you? Oh, good! Desertbus is auctioning off just such an opportunity and the proceeds benefit The Child’s Play Charity. What could be better than that? The answer is nothing. It is the best thing.

COMMENTERS: I would ask what you think about OWS, but I’m scared things would escalate negatively and some of you might start fights with each other. Polotics tends to bring out the piss and vinegar in even the most reasonable geeks. So what about SOPA? Can we all at least agree that a “Great Firewall Of China” for America is probably a pretty terrible idea? [please don’t fight, please don’t fight, please don’t fight…]

The Desecrator

The HIJINKS ENSUE STORE Is where you can buy stuff that I made! It supports me and my family and keeps this little operation going.

LIMITED PRINT UPDATE: If you have ordered the limited, signed “Fancy Bastards Assemble” print, they are on the way from the printer now. I should have them in a few days and they will start shipping out just as quickly as I can sign and pack them.

Sometimes you just need a good poop joke. Don’t fight it. Just try to enjoy it. That’s also what my proctologist said at my last check up. BOOM! BANG! ZAM! More with the joke making! It’s even doubly funny since I don’t have medical insurance and couldn’t see a butt doctor even if I needed one! Ohhh, the hits just keep on coming.

COMMENTERS: Can you still laugh at juvenile humor, or did you find your self growing out of it at some point? Was there a specific instance that made your mind up either way? Are there certain bits of low brow comedy (movie scenes, tv shows, stand ups, etc) that still get you despite your best efforts to remain a bastion of adult sophistication?