Every Phone Call With Your Mom

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This comic is only SLIGHTLY embellished from completely true events that may or may not have happened, but almost entirely and certainly DID happen to me. If Facebook is the place you go to find out what your friends’ wives’ coworkers think of politics, Mom’s phone calls are where you go to find out who, among the people you don’t know, is now dead.

I think this would be funnier if your parents had dementia and were also comic book fans. Then they’d call you to let you know that the nice billionaire bachelor up on the hill has lost yet another ward under mysterious circumstances. Your mom just hopes he settles down and finds a nice woman. Your mom doesn’t know that he is already in a committed relationship… WITH VENGEANCE


The thing in the alt-text is a true thing that was a part

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  1. At least that’s a reason to call. My mum seems to think it’s OK to call me at random times “just to hear your voice” and no other reason, even though I see her at least once a fortnight.

    • I have typed an IM of “what do you mean I never visit? I just spent a week down there with you guys, and will probably be back next month.” Didn’t send it though, she’s my mom after all.

  2. I can spend a half-hour on the phone with my mother and when I get off and my wife asks what’s up I’ll say, “Umm … stuff, I guess.”

  3. A cow-orker has an appointment on his public-for-all-to-view calendar, every Friday around lunch time, titled “Call Mom at least once a month.”

  4. I’m lucky, the last one of those I got was for a classmate getting a music contract and going on tour. As soon as I pulled up his song I remembered him, too, the guy has a distinctive voice.

    The time before that was for a different person getting arrested for child porn. Not as happy.

  5. Mum’s been gone for 2 years now.

    The weird thing is; a week after her passing I got a call.

    “You remember that lady who birthed you?….”
    “Dang it, Ma!”

  6. The writing here is excellent.

    ( In my head-cannon, This exact conversation is also a HE conversation between Josh and Joel.

    Wait you are thinking ..Young Josh sold all Young Joels shoes?
    Search your heart’s padawans , you know he would .

  7. My grandma used to talk like this everytime I visited. I just started to tell her I’ll know whom she means when I see them, but don’t know their names or where they lived or to whom they’re related.

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