If Man Is 5 And The Nexus 6, Then That Must Make Me 7

My new podcast Potter & Daughter is live now! You can download the first episode here or subscribe via RSS or iTunesFancy Patreon Patrons get each episode a week early!

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COMMENTERS: What bad behavior, if ceased, would cause your family or coworkers to think you’d been replaced with a replicant. For me, it would probably be if I suddenly started updating the comic at the same time on the same days each week.

Orphan Is The New Black

Books, Prints, Posters, Lil’ Wil Wheaton plushies and Holiday Cards are all HALF OFF! Some shirts are marked down to $5! 


I tweeted this almost a year ago. Since then, I’ve gotten hooked on both shows. It’s ALLLLLMOST like TV shows with a primarily female cast can be really good. Weird.

Fancy Patrons: I’ve posted the rough sketch of this comic for you to put your eyes on hereWe are less than $50 away from unlocking more comics per week!


Uncancelling The Adrunkalypse

This is taken from a Fancy Digital Sketch I did for Fancy Bastard David Lewis, who asked for “The HijiNKS ENSUE cast’s entry into the Pacific Rim Jaeger program.”

I posted a few more Fancy Digital sketches on my Tumblr (here and here). If you are still waiting on a sketch, you are a wonderful and patient person who will be rewarded very soon with a weird drawing like the one above.

I might post a few more of these sketches as Lofi’s depending on how they turn out.

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R. W.'s avatar

R. W. · 85 weeks ago

Jaeger Bomb would make an awesome tshirt.
DuckAmuck's avatar

DuckAmuck · 84 weeks ago

I imagine if you get the Kaiju monsters drunk enough, they’ll have to stop wreaking havoc and start throwing up instead.

1 reply · active 84 weeks ago


Gravity Sickness

I have a new store NEW STORE new store NEW STORE!!!

The new HE store is live at explosm! There are new signed prints and posters (previously only available at conventions), and for the first time I’m offering signed books! More info HERE.

 I saw Gravity last night and I was all :O the entire time. If you are interested in my more in depth thoughts on the film, please head over to the SUPER SPOILERY Gravity thread on the Fancy Bastard Facebook Group.

Potentially mild Gravity spoiler in the next sentence…. Ok, so was that a horror movie where the monster was momentum? Or inertia? Or possibly… GRAVITY?!? WHUT?! DUN DUN DUNNNNNN!!!

Either way, I really enjoyed it. Reminded me of Aronofsky’s The Fountain except for the linear storyline that made sense. It was beautifully shot, totally immersive and allowed you JUST enough time to not quite catch your breath between gaspable moments. It plays with the kind of suspense that nearly becomes stress, but never quite makes you so uneasy that you want to leave the room. I give it two bloody thumb nubs up.

COMMENTERS: What movie has provoked the biggest physical reaction (ie raised heart rate, jumping out of your seat, actual tears, dizziness, etc.) in you? 

UPDATE ON THE FANCY DIGITAL SKETCH DRIVE: If you are still waiting on your Fancy Digital Sketch, I am SUPER BACKLOGGED on these. I am very sorry it’s taking so long. I am working through them, but if you need yours urgently, feel free to let me know via email.

Have you seen my wife’s Etsy store, “Science and Fiction?” Check out her Starfleet pips choker

Star Trek Starfleet Pips choker Necklace Etsy


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I seriously had my hands to my mouth for most of the movie. It felt like a ride.
TJ "Kiltman"Anderson's avatar

TJ “Kiltman”Anderson · 87 weeks ago

The first time I saw saving private ryan…that opening 25 min Normandy invasion sequence was extremely intense.. haven’t seen gravity yet.
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TJ “Kiltman”Anderson · 87 weeks ago

Shaving Ryans privates… Rule#34.

i am 12.

Carlos A.'s avatar

Carlos A. · 87 weeks ago

Some people weren’t happy with it: http://arstechnica.com/science/2013/10/poking-hol…
Danger, Danger, Spoilers and science in link.
petsinwinter's avatar

petsinwinter · 86 weeks ago

Pokemon: The First Movie made me cry but +I was like 6 at the time
Candace's avatar

Candace · 86 weeks ago

Martin Scorsese’s ’91 remake of Cape Fear starring Robert De Niro and Nick Nolte. Robert De Niro was completely and utterly terrifying in the role of Max Cady, and I spent the entire movie alternately on the edge of my seat, and cowering in my seat grabbing onto my friend next to me while squealing in terror.

I believe that may still be the most frightening, chilling movie I have ever seen. (I have not seen Gravity yet.) I would say that Scorsese topped Hitchcock with Cape Fear, and that is no mean feat. (Of course, Hitchcock didn’t have De Niro.)

Varmint's avatar

Varmint · 86 weeks ago

Probably the climax of Back to the Future (do I even need to say that spoilers follow for a movie released in 1985?). The whole race to get the Deloreon some juice from the lightning striking the clock tower while everything that can go wrong does go wrong still keeps me in suspense on some level even after all this time, despite repeated viewings.

The two minutes immediately afterward, with the wide shot of Doc Brown walking through the wreckage of the whole aftermath dumbfounded before he suddenly runs down the street yelling in triumph as the horn section plays a few bars of the orchestral theme, still make me want to involuntarily pump my fist. It’s possibly my favorite movie moment of all time.

BrerBear's avatar

BrerBear · 86 weeks ago

I suffer from extreme acrophobia so i will give gravity a wide berth. And don’t come at me with “you lose you sense of height at a certain altitude”-bullshit. i know exactly how high and how long i will be falling 😀
Scarlettb's avatar

Scarlettb · 86 weeks ago

I almost passed out during The Dark Knight. I saw it on an IMAX screen, and we sat HELLA close (not my choice). When he jumped off the building at the beginning, I had to put my head between my knees.
Dave's avatar

Dave · 86 weeks ago

I had to consciously supress my physiological response to “Headhunters” (featuring Jaime Lannister) because I was donating platelets at the time. They’ll probably need to ban “Gravity.”

There was some sort of excessive fluid build up in my eyes watching “Pay it Forward.”

Hotsauce's avatar

Hotsauce · 86 weeks ago

Gravity: Two Hours of “So you have a thing about heights, do you?”
“Angular Momentum” should have been the title according to Neil deGrasse Tyson. I have not seen the movie and likely won’t.
Im not making fun, but I laughed out loud imagining someone crying that “inconsolable child cry” in a movie theater.
Bruceski's avatar

Bruceski · 86 weeks ago

I’m not sure if this counts since it was after the fact and due to external issues, but Jurassic Park scarred me for ten years. The movie was freaky and awesome and probably something I shouldn’t have seen as a 10-year-old kid but who cares it was CG dinosaurs. Unfortunately I had sleep apnea (undiagnosed at the time) and as a result had major sleepwalking problems where I’d be awake but my brain would still be running in dreamland.

Now imagine when this occurs during a nightmare. I was in bed, and there was a TV hovering at the foot of my bed showing the scariest parts of the movie. I got up, turned off the TV, and went to the bathroom. On the way I had to pass my playroom, and the moon in the window was casting a shadow on the wall that looked like a raptor. Now when half-asleep that means you’re also half-awake: I was able to tell myself it was just the shadow of a robin or something, and my mind playing tricks on me. Then the shadow turned its head towards the doorway and lept.

Until I left that house for college, no matter how many daylight hours I spent looking at things rationally, if I had to pee during the night I went past that room at a sprint. I knew it wasn’t real but I couldn’t take that chance.

2 replies · active 86 weeks ago

Zee's avatar

Zee · 86 weeks ago

This made me laugh so hard. But to give you some ammunition to fire back at me, anything featuring Slenderman, whether games or videos, makes me unable to sleep properly at night. I’m 32 years old, and I am incredibly jaded about horror. I can watch any horror movie you put in front of me, and come out okay. I played Amnesia: The Dark Descent, and while I will agree that it was very scary WHILE PLAYING, I had no nightmare issues. Same goes for many of what most people call the scariest movies. It is why I am not a fan of horror genre. I am so rarely scared that I just can’t enjoy it.

But I had repeated sightings of a very waifish, humanlike shadow in the hallway of my childhood home when I was little. It was in the corner of my eye, when I sat at the computer at night. I would turn around, and there’d be nothing, but I could see it in my peripheral vision. There wouldn’t even be a shadow there, either. It happened well into my adulthood. I have had no episodes of hallucinations, did not do drugs, still don’t, and have not had this happen to me in any other location, nor under any other circumstance. So, with that deeply disturbing phenomena ingrained into my formative years, with no rational explanation, Slendy scares the F**K out of me.

Bruceski's avatar

Bruceski · 86 weeks ago

Laugh away. I loved the movie, and if not for the sleepwalking any nightmares would have been short-lived. These days my brain tends to make up its own horror. “Hey, what if in this video game that has nothing to do with being scary you turned around and there was a monster behind you?” “Shut up brain, I’m going to sleep after this. Why’d you have to do that?”
DuckAmuck's avatar

DuckAmuck · 86 weeks ago

Kill Bill 2 – buried alive. I swore I felt my lungs stop working.

The Descent – not the monsters. The scene where the one gal gets stuck. If I were to go caving, THAT is where I would suffocate and die.

Monsters Inc – yes, seriously. Every time the kid screams it makes me cry.

1 reply · active 86 weeks ago

That reminds me of the scene in the Ewok movie where the kid gets trapped under the surface of the water. That scared the shit out of my for at least 5 years afterwards. I remember there was a time that I wouldnt evet go completely under the surface of the water in a swimming pool after seeing that.

Re: Monsters Inc. I know what you mean. Boo’s terrified and anguished screaming when she’s strapped in the chair are a little too realistic, especially considering how often I have seen that movie with my own daughter who was basically Boo’s age at the time.

bix's avatar

bix · 86 weeks ago

I watched a documentary about Chinese foot binding during an anthropology class that made me pass out. I had never passed out before and had no idea what was wrong with me, but watching close ups of real women’s feet after they had been unwrapped was so disturbing that I got nauseous, followed by tunnel vision, followed by blacking out and falling out of my chair. The odd thing to me is that my body decided to shut down rather than my brain just telling me to stop looking at the screen.
Shayne's avatar

Shayne · 86 weeks ago

Million Dollar Baby. She broke her neck. Died. Movie over.

I was shaking with anger when I left the theater.

Chelsea's avatar

Chelsea · 86 weeks ago

I saw The Woman in Black in a crowded theater and basically cowered in my seat the entire time. It’s hella atmospheric and the jump scares abound – the audience was totally feeding off each others’ fear. It was an hour and a half of shocked screams, nervous laughter, and relieved exhales. A truly excellent time.

Also…Up. The first five minutes of Up. Goddammit, Pixar. *sob*

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bubujin_2 · 86 weeks ago

Three films come to mind:

1) Star Wars (IV). Saw it live when it first came out in 1977 at the Cooper Theater in Denver–curved screen and a decent (for the day) sound system. So when the battleship came zooming from seemingly overhead it was a totally visceral moment and quite the ride to the very end.

2) Some sort of IMAX like theater at a state fair or some such. It was just short, wild clips of flying, riding a roller coaster, and other high-speed actions. There were no seats in the theater so you’re standing up and getting the sensation of falling or moving with rises and falls of the POV action. So weird.

3) Rocky Horror Picture Show–simply for the outrageous film itself but mostly for the frantic audience participation.

Away we Go – when Chris Messina is talking about his wife and their kids,(SPOLIER: She can’t have kids but they keep trying.) I just about lost it. Which is of course followed with Mya Rudolph wondering if she’ll be a good parent, followed by them finding their home, roll credits…..I had to go into the kitchen for ” a beer”, mostly to pull myself together.

The original The Amityville Horror Horror, saw it when I was ten and didn’t sleep for a week.

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Frostpaws · 86 weeks ago

Call me a monster if you like, but dammit, I laughed uncontrollably in the first 15 mimutes of Saving Private Ryan. I was on a date too, so that didnt go so well. She did give
Me another chance, though.
Daemnor's avatar

Daemnor · 26 weeks ago

Final Destination – I was on the edge of my seat for most of the movie, trying to alter the probabilities on the accidents.

Also, for some reason… any time a character is underwater/around poisonous gas/must be silent, I hold my breath. Every. Single. Time.

Field Sobriety Test

The big giant mega blowout HE Store sale is over, and we are putting the final touches on the new HE store which will hopefully launch tomorrow HERE.

UPDATE ON THE FANCY DIGITAL SKETCH DRIVE: If you are still waiting on your Fancy Digital Sketch, I am SUPER BACKLOGGED on these. I am very sorry it’s taking so long. Doing 50+ original pieces of finished art always sounds easy, until you agree to do it and take money for it. I am working through them, but if you need yours urgently, feel free to let me know via email.

Joel is headed home so I guess we’re about to meet his wife. Hear that, ACTUAL WIFE? I’m about to draw you in a comic or whatever! Let the record she that she did not protest. Let the record ignore that she is asleep because it’s 4:30 am. Things you whisper alone into the dark are totally admissible in court.

COMMENTERS: By virtue of being married to me and being totally supportive of my creative endeavors, my wife has sort of obligated herself to appearing in the comic. She’s had 6 years to get used to the idea, so I can’t say it will be that much of a shock. That is, until I get to the LEGEND OF THE ULTIMATE ROBOBEAST: ORGY WAR 2068 storyline later this year. What are the unwelcome obligations and perks that come along with your spouse or significant other’s job/profession/whatever? Does their job give you free travel all over the world? Perk! Does their job require free travel to New Jersey? Less of a perk!


This is my wife’s birthday week! Celebrate it by buying yourself a present from her Etsy store “Science and Fiction.” Check out her her latest geeky creation, a Pacman inspired necklace!

Pacman Necklace on Etsy


Comments (17)

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Neph Sy · 89 weeks ago

He has the unwelcome obligation of helping with many facets of my business as an unpaid helper. Being a schlepper, and driver for 6-13 hour drives is probably the worse of it. I’m so lucky!

His previous job had great perks for my business; free photocopies, access to free dial up after business hours, a free laptop that no one wanted (it was so old, and permanently locked into a charging station base). Free trip to San Diego once. Health insurance.

Cdogg's avatar

Cdogg · 89 weeks ago

My husband is a philosophy professor, so he gets free trips to conferences once or twice a year, so we just need to buy me a ticket and we have an almost free vacation! We went to Vancouver and Edinburgh last year, which I definitely call a perk.

But, on the other hand, I’m married to an over-educated man who spends his days with annoying undergrads and gets paid to argue, so that can be a bit of a pain in my ass… 🙂

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PokeyPuppy · 89 weeks ago

Husband’s job requires a TON of travel, which is not a perk for me – he’s gone a lot. But every time we travel, free air travel & hotel stays in swanky rooms from all his points, so that is a GREAT perk!

I have a bookstore, so his marriage perk is access to tons of books for cheap-or-free, which in our household is a major deal. Books everywhere…

Her job gets us a discount on fuel to drive around and visit people/places more (which if you know what fuel costs in the UK, is pretty handy).

My job gets her free access to pretty much any decent gig when her favourite bands come to town…

In about 2 months we get medical, vision, and dental coverage which is a huge god damned perk, and before that he’s finally making enough money I can actually see a dentist for some emergency stuff. Huge perks. Downside? he works 12-15 hour shifts 5 days a week so I get no help around the house and our kid frets about how much he misses his dad. My husband’s perk for marrying me is that I’m a tolerable housewife, really good cook, and can keep things functioning when he’s away. Downside for him is that I’ve been in severe pain for several months and lash out in a furious rage when anyone tries to touch me.
The hubs works in Physical Therapy, so he basically fixes whatever is wrong with my apparently aged-before-it’s-time body. Wonky hip, neck pain, shoulder pain, I just point, grunt, and hiss ‘dooooo sooooomethiiing’ and he fixes me up.

The downside is I’m also the guinea pig for any new ‘techniques’ he wants to try out before he inflicts his patients with new torturous ways of making you ‘feel better’. Many have left me writhing in pain. But hey! Being able to turn my head 360 degrees is super-useful now!

PokeyPuppy's avatar

PokeyPuppy · 89 weeks ago

Definitely – shouldn’t be considered a “perk,” should be something everyone has! Stupid health care system *grumble grumble*
Neph Sy's avatar

Neph Sy · 89 weeks ago

I’m Canadian, just because we have “free” healthcare doesn’t mean everything is free.

It’s still good to have separate private health coverage for medication, eyecare, dentistry, therapy, hospital stays…etc.
Medication costs for some illnesses or conditions are major!

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Justplainsomething · 89 weeks ago

I have one of her Quidditch necklaces and it is PRETTY.

1 reply · active 89 weeks ago

Really glad you like it.
lou's avatar

lou · 89 weeks ago

When one of my parents goes out of town for business for a week or more, they both go and make a mini-vacation out of it. Last year, my mom had a conference to go to in Germany and the Czech Republic, and Dad went along because of their centuries-old breweries, bringing home the beer steins and bottle openers to prove it. To quote Liz Lemon, “I want to go to there!”
I’m a massage therapist. I think my girlfriend appreciates this muchly.

Shame we live a state apart and all.

1 reply · active 89 weeks ago

this is the perk to end all perks as far as Im concerned.
My other half and I both work at the same University, so I get car rides and the occasional middle of the day hug. It’s nice.
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rostheskunk · 28 weeks ago

Mmmm Solyent Green Mountain Dew.