Close, Google, but no drunk polar bears

Today’s Google terms that brought people to this site:

hermione porn
drunk baby polar bears
leeloo costumes
lost ben linus
hot harry potter porn
LOST jacob
ron fucking hermione
harry potter slash blog
henry ian cusick accent

Internet, will you go with me?

Meeemp! is the sound the alarm makes

I once said that Lost is like reading the first 3 chapters of 10 different books, then going back 6 months later and reading 17 random pages from 5 of the books. What do you do with the other 5 books? (the story started with 10 remember?) You lose those books for at least a year.

(I’d like to point out at this point that I’ve used several numbers in this post. Before you call the feds, I’ve done my research and 3, 10, 6, 17, 5, 5, and 10 are not illegal when used in that order. Some numbers ARE illegal. Be careful.)

Ok so here we are at least a year and a half later, and you find those remaining five books. You pick up on those where you left off low those many months ago. You remember what was going on in those chapters, (sort of) but you’ve basically lost interest (lost…get it?). One of the guys in the 3rd book (of the 2nd set of 5) turns out to be the same guy that caused this one guy from the 4th book (of the first set of 5) to loose his job, and thus go home, get drunk and beat his kids. Who did those kids turn out to be? Fuck you, that’s who.

And scene.

UPDATE 5/27/07

Damn you Henry Ian Cusick and your acursed ambiguous accent! A pox on you! A reader pointed out that Demond is supposed to be Sottish, not Irish. Two comics in and I’ve already issued a retraction. Thanks to Adam Y.