A Man Has Needs

This Wetworks pilot from J.J. Abrams (starring Michael Emerson and Terry O’Quinn) probably isn’t trying to be the next LOST <cough>FlashForward</cough>, but the connection to the geek-favorite frustration bonanza is certainly part of the potential appeal. I would be more likely to watch it if in every episode Michael Emerson gets the crap kicked out of his crap-bag and O’Quinn does that orange peal smile thing. You know, just as a nod all the fans.

Abrams is a busy man. In between buying my Groverfield shirt over a year ago (did I tell that story already? I did? Oh, I tell it constantly? Oh.), executive producing Fringe and Undercovers, directing Star Trek 2 and Mission Impossible 4, and producing Cloverfield 2 and Super 8 he still has another 15 projects in the works. And did I mention the thing with the shirt? He might be our generations most prolific geek. Or perhaps he knows something we don’t know about the end of the world, and he wants to get as much geekery in as possible before some sort of cataclysm. Did I say anything about the shirt yet?

Speaking of Fringe, holy crapternate (the alternat universe version of “holy crap”) was the season premiere stellar! Again, Fringe is the best sci-fi on TV and you should blow through the sort-of-stumbly season 1 to get to the oh-so-goods of seasons 2 and 3. Fringe‘s only flaws are that there are times when it isn’t on and that it can’t love me back.

An Audience Lost

HEROES CON in CHARLOTTE, NC is NEXT WEEKEND!!!

Heroes Con 2010 in Charlotte, NC
Here’s a handy map that I made so that you can easily locate your favorite webcomics artists while at the convention. My 29th birthday will be during the con. I am expecting party hats and pasties pastries.

LOST has been done with for over a week now. I miss the hatch. I miss the time traveling bunnies. I miss how Ben’s face looked like canned apricot preserves after a fresh beating. Awwww sonofabitch, Freckles, I miss the dang polar bear.

SciFi SyFy Tv-Movie Title Generator Shirt

Science Fiction TV-Movie Title Generator T-Shirt @Topatoco!!!

Presented in the right way I think “Limbo Beach” could be a smash hit. It’s like Gilligan’s Island meets Fantasty Island meets DHARMA Island meets The Ghost Whisperer [I know I’m being silly, but seriously… can’t you see a network exec just about pissing his pants when he hears that pitch?]. And since ABC passed on picking up “The Boobs n’ Spectre Mystery Hour,” Jennifer Love Hewitt could reprise her role on my new show. She could play the up tight resort operations manager and all sorts of hilarity would ensue because only she and Hurley could speak to the guests [I’m sure Miles would have a small part as the hand man or something]. That goofy ol’ Ben would always be getting into trouble, delivering clean towels to the wrong DHARMA station bungalo, or accidentally murdering Rose and Bernard. I’m telling you it would be a riot of Lucile Ballian proportions.

For you comment challenge, please come up with a different show ABC can produce to recapture their lost LOSTies, OR a plot device (including a LOST cast member guest star) for an episode of “Limbo Beach.”

More LOST links:



The Glorious Hole

[thanks to Roger for hosting the LOST finale viewing party and giving me the idea for this comic]

MORE LOST FINALE SPOILERS BELOW!!!

Just so we are clear, the main purpose of the castaways’ final moments on The Island was to solve a plumbing problem. “Well, see what you got here is yer stopper what keeps the magic water from drainin’ outta your light beam got removed. Probably by a common household Desmond. You see ’em in these parts all the time. Livin’ in hatches, pushin’ buttons, NOT pushin’ buttons. Gettin’ into a whole mess’o trouble.”

NEW SHIRT! NEW SHIRT! THE BEST SHIRT I’VE EVER MADE!!!

SciFi SyFy Tv-Movie Title Generator Shirt

Science Fiction TV-Movie Title Generator T-Shirt @Topatoco!!!

There is also a PRINT of this design too!

I am still gathering my thoughts on the LOST finale, but I don’t know if I want to post them here or in a podcast or just bury them deep inside until my anus belches out a cloud of murderous black smoke. Continue reading

Momma! I Traded The Polar Bear For Magic Beans!

NEW SHIRT! NEW SHIRT! THE BEST SHIRT I’VE EVER MADE!!!

SciFi SyFy Tv-Movie Title Generator Shirt

Science Fiction TV-Movie Title Generator T-Shirt @Topatoco!!!

There is also a PRINT of this design too!

This particular volume of “Tales Of the Enchanted Island Where Extremely Coincidental Things Happen All The Time For No Particular Reason, As It Turns Out” presents a difficult challenge to the reader. The first three chapters are actually in the middle of the book. After reading one page of Chapter 1, you have to go back 3 chapters and read one page from Chapter Negative 1. You alternate this way until you get to Chapter 4 (which is the 7th chapter), at which point you alternate reading one page from Chapter 4 and one page from the final chapter of the book. I can’t remember what you do for Chapter 5. Maybe you just skip it. Then for Chapter 6 you alternate reading one page from Chapter 6 and another page from the 6th Chapter of a completely different book. Any book. Reader’s choice.

[Observant HE readers will note that this is my 2nd attempt at this particular metaphor. I think I’ve ironed out most of the kinks and have a good working theorem here.]

Side Note: Soul Hole is my Sexual Chocolate cover band.