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Abracadaver

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AND MY AXE!
And My Axe - Gimli shirt by HijiNKS ENSUE

THERE IS A NEW HE PODCAST!!! EPISODE 82 – C2E2 2011 Webcomics Rountable featuring: Joel Watson of HijiNKS ENSUE, Kris Wilson and Rob DenBleyker of Cyanide and Happiness, Ryan Sohmer of Least I Could Do, and Danielle Corsetto from Girls With Slingshots.

If you preordered HE Book 2, please read the updated shipping times on THIS PAGE.

YOU SHOULD GO PREORDER SHORTPACKED BOOK 4 by my friend DAVID WILLIS. THIS IS MY COMMANDMENT.

YOU SHOULD ALSO GO BID ON THIS PIECE OF PAPER THAT ME AND A BUNCH OF OTHER ARTISTS DREW ON AT C2E2 TO BENEFIT THE JAPAN RELIEF EFFORT. [MORE INFO HERE]

I was so proud of myself for coming up with Abracadaver until a quick Googling showed me that it was already a thing. Several things, in fact. Including one thing already dealing with the CSI franchise. Oh well. I did my best and I live to pun another day.

I hesitate to get too enthusiastic about Ron D. Moore’s 17th Precinct because I fear my initial excitement is actually just my desire for more content in the Harry Potter universe. I would seriously love to see an adult show about aurors kicking some dark wizard ass. Plus, what is Ron Moore going to do with a show that STARTS with magic? Is the big reveal in the final episode going to be that all magic is actually science? Hmmm… wait, that actually sounds pretty cool. Feel free to use that one Ron. On the house.

COMMENTERS: Feel free to offer up your own Horatio Caine one liner set in the wizarding world. Here are a couple more to get you started:

“The victim was bludgeoned to death with a bottle of premium tequila. He never saw it coming.”
“I guess he didnt [sunglasses] expecto Patrón-us.” [YEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!]

“The victim was murdered using Avada Kadavra.”
“I guess the killer’s parents never taught him… it’s not polite to curse.”  [YEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!]

 

 


 

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Moore’s Law

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TEAM EDWARD [James Olmos]

THERE IS A NEW HE PODCAST!!! EPISODE 82 – C2E2 2011 Webcomics Rountable featuring: Joel Watson of HijiNKS ENSUE, Kris Wilson and Rob DenBleyker of Cyanide and Happiness, Ryan Sohmer of Least I Could Do, and Danielle Corsetto from Girls With Slingshots.

If you preordered HE Book 2, please read the updated shipping times on THIS PAGE.

 


 

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From The Ashes, A Sheenix Rises

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C2E2 IN CHICAGO IS THIS WEEKEND!!! I will be there with Randy [Something*Positive], Danielle [Girls With Slingshots] and David [Shortpacked & Dumbing Of Age]! Read more about it HERE.

EWOK STAAAAAARRREEEEEE!!!

Ewok Stare Shirt

THERE IS A NEW HE PODCAST!!! EPISODE 81 – DICK ISLAND

If you preordered HE Book 2, please read the updated shipping times on THIS PAGE.

When you’re only speed is “GO,” eventually you burn out. I started writing this comic over 2 weeks ago, back when Charlie Sheen first began his one man Vatican assassination attempt of his own career, with the intention of running it before I left for Emerald City Comicon. The reason I was unable to finish it is that every time I would get done with the script, Sheen would do five more interviews and I’d have to go back to the drawing board. I wanted to somehow incapsulate the depths of his coke-fueled insanity and subsequent public breakdown in three simple panels. I soon realized this task was insurmountable and shelved the idea.

After a week passed I figured there was nothing left to say about Charlie Sheen that hadn’t already been covered elsewhere. Then I recalled a particular monolog from a prominent geek popular culture television program that seemed to sum up his entire ordeal. Those words, originally spoken with the utmost delusions of grandeur by Brother Cavil in Battlestar Galactica can be found in panels 7 and 8 above. Read them carefully and shudder at the similarities between a the grandiose ramblings of a drug addled, millionaire actor and a robot that orchestrated the destruction of humanity because of his mommy issues.  Can someone make sure Sheen doesn’t have access to our planetary defense grid? Oh, we don’t have one of those? Then we should be fine.

COMMENTERS: What other quotes from geek TV and movies would make good Sheen rants? Feel free to modify them slightly to better fit his particular dementia(though top points will go to those that fit perfectly with no alteration). “I aim to misbehave,” comes to mind.

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The B-S-G-B-I-B-L-E

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Preorder HijiNKS ENSUE Book 2!!!ONLY 20 UFE’s LEFT AND ONLY 4 days left to get them: There are 20 Ultimate Fancy Editions of the book left and the files must be fully proofed and turned into the printer by Sunday 1/30/2011. Once those last UFE’s are sold I will have covered 100% of the printing costs + all other book-related expenses. PLEASE HELP me make this thing a success. 4 days! We can do it!

BOOK 2 PROOFREADERS UPDATE: You will likely get the book in a slightly unfinished format by Friday night and will have to have it back to me within 24 hours. Just a heads up.

The REAL Team Edward shirt from HijiNKS ENSUE

When Battlestar Galactica (I accidentally just wrote GalactiviA, and then thought that would be a good name for space-yogurt that makes you poop)… eh’ hem… When Battlestar Galactica first started I remember being excited that the only real difference between the crew of the BSG and modern day man was that they could travel between the stars. Other than that their technology was actually LESS advanced than ours. A big part of that had to do with them being aboard a 75 year old ship and the fact that all ships with modern (modern for them) tech were destroyed in the attack on the 12 Colonies. With no lasers,  androids (sort of), holodecks, super-computers (at least not on their ships) or even any aliens BSG had to rely on believable, relatable, compelling characters to suck you in. That and space battles with evil robots. That was also a big part of the appeal in the early seasons.

In retrospect the show really ran out of reasons for the characters to be interesting after season 3 and resorted to crazy stunts, and plot twists that really didn’t make any sense (al la LOST). Be that as it may, the show was incredibly original for a sci-fi serial drama and made me rethink my definition of science fiction. Or at least adjust my perception as to what I expected from the genre. I was raised by Star Trek: TNG, and BSG was certainly its antithesis. The disparities between the two are even more evident when you realize Ron D. Moore (who cut his teeth on Deep Space Nine), was using TNG as the anti-blueprint for Battlestar. No mirror universes, no bumpy foreheads, no god-like powers, and no standard character archetypes (the cocky guy, the smart guy, the alien, the slut) were the commandments of the BSG Bible. I would say that his philosophy worked… until it didn’t. Or maybe until he lost faith in his own good book. Seems like BSG started to stray when it abandoned stories rooted in the human condition and the struggle for survival and started making everything about Space God and destiny and what not. You can argue that those aspects were always central to the narrative of BSG (because they were), but viewer like myself always hoped they would be a red herring and not the ACTUAL crux of the show.

COMMENTERS: Since you were already doing this before I made this post, what aspect of BSG did you find the MOST confusing. Just to balance things out, what did you love about BSG that wasn’t a common Sci-Fi trope.

And if you find panel three confusing, please check out the work of Bear McCreary. I want him to score my life.

Colors, backgrounds and post coming later tonight. In other news: Kiddo has requested that “Daddy stop working so much” and spend some time with her. Going to 5 days a week and trying to get the book done at the same time was a stupid idea. I’ve been working 14-16 hour days, sleeping 5-6 hours then getting up and doing it all again. If you appreciate the increased output and you would like to help out, please consider making a donation. THANKS!

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Bad Astrologer

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Preorder HijiNKS ENSUE Book 2!!!TIME IS NEARLY UP!!!!!:
This is your LAST WEEK to order an Ultimate Fancy Edition of Book 2 AND get your name in the book. Files go to the printer on January 15th. After that you will still be able to order a UFE but you will NOT necessarily be listed in the book on the Fancy Bastard Wall Of Fancy Fame.
ORDER THAT MOTHER FANCY BOOK, YO!

Don’t want a stupid book? Check out The HE Store!

Bad news guys. The addition of a 13th Zodiac sign means you might have been reading the wrong horoscope for your entire life. Also you might have been reading horoscopes and believing them for your entire life which is additional (and more severe) bad news. It also means that Zodiac Killer should have killed at least one more person. This story is just full of missed opportunities.

Back to the Battlestar Galactica comparison for a minute: If you read the article linked below where the astronomer that started this whole thing explains the 13th celestial position, or whatever, he mentions that it is caused by a change in Earth’s orbit and relative position to other celestial bodies that cycles every 26,000 years. This has all happened before, amiright? And this will all happen again? Huh? Huh? I think my theory holds up.

Question for you BSG fans: Concerning the series Finale [SPOILERS], if modern scientists discovered Hera’s bones (the famous Australopithecus “Lucy” skeleton) and she was still 3 and a half feet tall, doesn’t that mean she died shortly after they reached Earth2? Did anyone else catch that or am I missing something? Puts even more of a downer on the finale. “Hey guess what? All those crazy mysteries? Space Angels. Also the baby died. See ya!”