A Wise Man Once Said

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Continuity resumes and ambles slightly forward! I guess Joel let the EFE in, preventing him from erupting in an ocean of blood. Oh well. Maybe next time. I was REALLY looking forward to a blood ocean. I would even settle for a river of bile or a kiddie pool full of spinal fluid.

This coming Sunday (June 3rd) is my birthday. I will be 31 which is older than I have ever been. A few people asked over Twitter, so I will take this opportunity to point you towards my Amazon Wishlist and donations page. Or why not buy yourself something for my birthday from the HE Store. It’ll be like we both get a present. You’ll get something thoughtful that really speaks to your personality and individuality and I’ll get cash. It’ll be like you’re the aunt I only see once a year who has no idea what I’m into (I like Ninja Turtles, Aunt JoAnne! Is that so fucking hard to remember!?).

At Phoenix Comicon last weekend, Wil and I (along with Blind Ferret) debuted the prototype of the Wil Wheaton plushie we’ve been working on for about a year. The preorder should start next week, so keep and eye out and get ready to spread the word.

The Wil Wheaton Plushie Plush Doll from HijiNKS ENSUE

HEY! I started a Facebook group for Fancy Bastards to share ideas, get support and be a community of geeks and weirdos. Godspeed, You Fancy Bastards!

COMMENTERS: Please take any sage expression, bit of aged wisdom or common sense advice and reinterpret it as an inebriated Eli might do.

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38 Comments

  1. If a man falls in a tree and a forest is around to noise it, does it sound?

    Reply
    • If a man goes down in the forest, but there's no one to receive it, is it still a misdemeanor?

      Reply
      • yes

        Reply
  2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with life giving a man lemons.
    Teach that man to make lemonade and he'll live to fight another day.

    Reply
  3. A journey of a thousand beers begins with 99 on a wall…

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  4. Beer and grass and the grass dies.
    Grass and beer and you're still dumb

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  5. Did I miss the punchline?

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    • Who said there was one?

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  6. Like Confucius said, it does not matter how slowly you drink as long as you do not stop.

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    • This is going on Eli's tombstone.

      Reply
  7. A beer saved is a beer wasted. Because I'm not.

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  8. Better to open a beer than to curse at an AA meeting.

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  9. A man who lives in a glass house shouldn't beers naked.

    Reply
    • you're thinking of bongos.

      Reply
  10. Loose lips drink ships full of beers.

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  11. This is funny stuff. Loving the semi-continuity!

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    • thanks!

      Reply
  12. Let he who is without beers throw the first stone. Hopefully he's good enough to aim that stone towards its house, make sure it gets there okay. Since he who is without beers is either the designated driver or a stupid.

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  13. Loose beers sink lips.

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    • Loose ships drink Schlitz….

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      • ACTUAL LOL.

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  14. From The Monkey Wrench Gang (Edward Abbey), regarding one Hayduke:

    He and his friends measured highway distances in per-capita six-packs of beer. L.A. to Phoenix, four six-packs; Tucson to Flagstaff, three six-packs. Phoenix to New York, thirty-five six-packs. (Time is relative, said Heraclitus a long time ago, and distance a function of velocity. Since the ultimate goal of transport technology is the annihilation of space, the compression of all Being into one pure point, it follows that six-packs help. Speed is the ultimate drug and rockets run on alcohol. Hayduke had formulated this theory all by himself.)

    Reply
  15. i see a lot of myself within eli's drunken rants, because i have in fact said harry potter tater totter, while drunk before

    Reply
  16. Better a bottle in front of me, than a frontal lobotomy.
    Better a bottle in front of me, then a full tracheotomy.

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    • better a bottle in front of me than fat full frontal nudity

      Reply
  17. Eli's line in Panel #2 of today's strip made me think of the unintended message I got from the Assassin's Creed games: There's no problem in life that can't be solved by stabbing (or poisoning, shooting, knife-throwing, or crossbowing) some douchebag who deserves it.
    And I, as the other readers and commenters, love the continuity the comic's taking on!

    Reply
  18. The Allegory of Eli's Cave:

    OK, so you're sprawled out in a cave, and you're not really sure how you got there. There's a fire behind you that you might have set, or maybe it was that hobo or something.

    Anyway, all your empties are in front of it, and their shadows are dancing on the wall in front of you. You're pretty sure that if you turn your head either way, you're going to vomit, so you just sit really still and watch the beer-shadows.

    That's life, Joel. That's life.

    Reply
  19. Hold it. If you're in a ditch, isn't it all UP HILL from there?

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  20. JOSH DIES COMIC IN 3…2……..1

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  21. Now I have the image in my head of Joel and EFE's beards interlocked. I'm not sure if it will ever come out.

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    • This is my gift to you. Cherish it.

      Reply
  22. Beer, Beer the magical fruit,
    The more you drink the more you toot!
    The more you toot the better you feel,
    So have 3 beers at ev'ry meal!

    Reply
  23. Early to bed and early to rise makes a man… hey these Doritos taste great if you dunk them in beer.

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  24. A rolling stone gathers no wives who turn out to be whores and take everything you have like evil, wifey whores of…taking-everythingness. You're pretty.

    Reply
  25. Oh my god, "Bear before water, Harry Potter tater totter." is my new favorite saying. I just LOL'd and annoyed my entire office.

    Reply
  26. Journey of a thousand beers dot tumbr dot com!
    that might make me want to make a tumblr 😛

    Reply
  27. Beer a man a fish, and he'll drunk for a lifetime.

    Reply

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