A Wise Man Once Said

Continuity resumes and ambles slightly forward! I guess Joel let the EFE in, preventing him from erupting in an ocean of blood. Oh well. Maybe next time. I was REALLY looking forward to a blood ocean. I would even settle for a river of bile or a kiddie pool full of spinal fluid.

This coming Sunday (June 3rd) is my birthday. I will be 31 which is older than I have ever been. A few people asked over Twitter, so I will take this opportunity to point you towards my Amazon Wishlist and donations page. Or why not buy yourself something for my birthday from the HE Store. It’ll be like we both get a present. You’ll get something thoughtful that really speaks to your personality and individuality and I’ll get cash. It’ll be like you’re the aunt I only see once a year who has no idea what I’m into (I like Ninja Turtles, Aunt JoAnne! Is that so fucking hard to remember!?).

At Phoenix Comicon last weekend, Wil and I (along with Blind Ferret) debuted the prototype of the Wil Wheaton plushie we’ve been working on for about a year. The preorder should start next week, so keep and eye out and get ready to spread the word.

The Wil Wheaton Plushie Plush Doll from HijiNKS ENSUE

HEY! I started a Facebook group for Fancy Bastards to share ideas, get support and be a community of geeks and weirdos. Godspeed, You Fancy Bastards!

COMMENTERS: Please take any sage expression, bit of aged wisdom or common sense advice and reinterpret it as an inebriated Eli might do.

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  1. The journey of a thousand miles begins with life giving a man lemons.
    Teach that man to make lemonade and he'll live to fight another day.

  2. Let he who is without beers throw the first stone. Hopefully he's good enough to aim that stone towards its house, make sure it gets there okay. Since he who is without beers is either the designated driver or a stupid.

  3. From The Monkey Wrench Gang (Edward Abbey), regarding one Hayduke:

    He and his friends measured highway distances in per-capita six-packs of beer. L.A. to Phoenix, four six-packs; Tucson to Flagstaff, three six-packs. Phoenix to New York, thirty-five six-packs. (Time is relative, said Heraclitus a long time ago, and distance a function of velocity. Since the ultimate goal of transport technology is the annihilation of space, the compression of all Being into one pure point, it follows that six-packs help. Speed is the ultimate drug and rockets run on alcohol. Hayduke had formulated this theory all by himself.)

  4. i see a lot of myself within eli's drunken rants, because i have in fact said harry potter tater totter, while drunk before

  5. Better a bottle in front of me, than a frontal lobotomy.
    Better a bottle in front of me, then a full tracheotomy.

  6. Eli's line in Panel #2 of today's strip made me think of the unintended message I got from the Assassin's Creed games: There's no problem in life that can't be solved by stabbing (or poisoning, shooting, knife-throwing, or crossbowing) some douchebag who deserves it.
    And I, as the other readers and commenters, love the continuity the comic's taking on!

  7. The Allegory of Eli's Cave:

    OK, so you're sprawled out in a cave, and you're not really sure how you got there. There's a fire behind you that you might have set, or maybe it was that hobo or something.

    Anyway, all your empties are in front of it, and their shadows are dancing on the wall in front of you. You're pretty sure that if you turn your head either way, you're going to vomit, so you just sit really still and watch the beer-shadows.

    That's life, Joel. That's life.

  8. Now I have the image in my head of Joel and EFE's beards interlocked. I'm not sure if it will ever come out.

  9. Beer, Beer the magical fruit,
    The more you drink the more you toot!
    The more you toot the better you feel,
    So have 3 beers at ev'ry meal!

  10. Early to bed and early to rise makes a man… hey these Doritos taste great if you dunk them in beer.

  11. A rolling stone gathers no wives who turn out to be whores and take everything you have like evil, wifey whores of…taking-everythingness. You're pretty.

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