Chapters: HijiNKS ENSUE

Take My Breath Away

The BIGGEST MERCH SALE I HAVE EVER DONE  ENDS THIS WEEK (9/21/13)! GO NOW to the HE STORE $10 Books! $9 Shirts! 

When I was still in high school, my mom and I had a 36″ JVC TV that I have gotten from the store I worked at for essentially nothing because the coax cable input had been broken off of it. I figured we would just tune channels with the VCR. When I it home, on a whim I stripped the coax coming from the wall and touched it to the bare terminal in the back of the TV where the coax connector USED to be. Low and behold there was picture! And sound! It was the late 90’s, so let’s assume it was one or more of the friends from Friends! I held it still while she brought me some electrical tape. I taped everything just so and delicately backed away from the TV, holding my breath. It worked perfectly for at least 2 years, until I tried to solder on a new coax connector and ruined it forever.

Many years later I spent 3 or 4 months building a small form factor PC into an NES case in order to use it for a HTPC. Finally I had the thing all button up and running smoothly. A specially ordered external power supply and two little fans kept it running cool, and you could plug actual NES controllers into the controller ports and use them (through an internal rewire that sent their pins to the proper parallel port pins) to control the AV software. I hooked it up to the TV with VGA and got ready to watch a downloaded copy of The Animatrix. And… ANNNNNNNND… nothing. Despite it 1ghz processor and 1gb of Ram (halfway decent for the early 2000’s), it was unable to decode compressed video due to it’s otherwise shitty specs. That thing is still in my closet. I have never used it for anything and I will NEVER part with it. I could probably rip everything out of it and just plop a Mac Mini right inside of it. Kids today don’t know how good they got it… in terms of putting computers inside of classic game consoles…

COMMENTERS: What was the most complicated or ghetto AV setup you’ve ever had or had to deal with? 

NOTE: The Mobile Alt Text button broke when I put the big store sale banner in the site. As soon as the sale is over I will put the button back.

Have you seen my wife’s geeky jewelry creations? 

You can see her Tetris necklace below and more geeky goods in her shop! 

tetris-necklace

 

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nenslo · 91 weeks ago

I recall in my student days that my friend’s house was covered in AV (multiple projectors, TVs, 5.1 sound systems, Xboxs, PS2s, DJ decks and the like). There was a mass of cables in the corner of the room, which to this day I’m sure you could see moving up and down as if it was breathing. I think if mouldy pizza was added to the mix, the first true instance of the Borg would have been created.

Side note: In the alt text, I think you mean “pour”, not “poor” </pedantry>

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Aetheling · 91 weeks ago

For a society fundraiser at college only last year, we had an outdoor cinema and all day gaming marathon. Two of us hung from the upper windows of one of the lecture buildings to tie a sheet of canvas up on the wall using spare lengths of ethernet cable. There was a little almost silent petrol generator running that we didn’t actually have to power anything with- the Xbox and PS3 were sat next to it to stay warm on a Welsh May night. The projector and soundsystem were entirely held together with duct tape and the scart ends were attached to the bare cables with crocodile clips. We had a barbecue, and played Halo 3, Unreal Tournament 3, Soul Calibur 4 and a pile of old Tekkens. Then we watched Stardust and The Last Crusade. It was an amazing night.

1 reply · active 91 weeks ago

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hijinksensue· 91 weeks ago

My favorite part is tying the sheet with ethernet cables. That’s perfect.
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Bill Murphy · 91 weeks ago

I have to say I busted out loud when I read the vacuum cleaner line! 😀

As for the comment question…
My family was in awe when they heard Super Mario Brothers being played through our home stereo for the first time. That game system was the original Nintendo System. 😉

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seriously · 91 weeks ago

I imagine it’d look something like this: http://www.toxel.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/04/c…
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hijinksensue· 91 weeks ago

Mine is very close to that. I did have the CD tray coming out of the cartridge door. I mounted the two intake fans on the back, but otherwise it’s almost identical. I had seen a lot of them online and they were all so ugly. I made sure mine was super clean and incognito. As far as I know Im the only one that ever did the controller ports in the particular way that I did.
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seriously · 91 weeks ago

A buddy once bought an entire entertainment system at a yard sale. It worked great, for about a week.

After that it was a never ending series of workarounds just to keep it working. By the end he’d replaced so much of it there was barely any of the original remaining.

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TormundThunderfist · 91 weeks ago

Being in a band in my teens we had a PA that we would hook up to the TV for movie nights with my bass amp as the crowning glory. We had to remove all the pictures from the walls as they would just fall off otherwise.
It would take us all day to transport and set it up at whoever’s house we were at, but that was half the fun.

1 reply · active 91 weeks ago

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hijinksensue· 91 weeks ago

Oh god. You just reminded me of all the ways my teenage bands used to try and rig PA systems. THe first was a computer mic plugged into the drummer’s CD player. We’d prop it up in on his chest of drawers so we could almost sort of hear it. Eventually I blew both of his speakers. Later the bass player bought a 35watt radioshack power amp (used for CB radio I believe) and a car subwoofer box with 2 12″s in it. We have a shitty mic that I’d permanently borrowed from church and that lasted maybe 6 months. It was all feedback and screeching all the time. When I was 15 or 16 we all chipped in and got a halfway decent starter PA with a 100 watt Peavey head and 2 Gemeni (cheap DJ club brand) 15″s with horns. We were the envy of every other shitty teen band… until we broke up and had to figure out who actually owned the equipment. NEVER NEVER NEVER own gear with band mates. I should also mention that my mic stand was a PVC pipe stuck in a 20 lb lifting weight all wrapped in black electrical tape.
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TormundThunderfist · 91 weeks ago

…and when I was a student there was a wall near my flat painted white. The people opposite would put a projector in the upstairs window and the whole neighbourhood wood bring chairs and even sofas to watch the movie.
You can see it here http://goo.gl/maps/TolzI

1 reply · active 91 weeks ago

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TormundThunderfist · 91 weeks ago

*would
Laura's avatar

Laura · 91 weeks ago

I find every single part of your NES build to be amazing. AMAZING!

1 reply · active 91 weeks ago

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hijinksensue· 91 weeks ago

I should really dig it out and post some pics. I probably have the “WIP” pics on my file server.
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lurkie · 91 weeks ago

A.V.lanche. ha. lurv it.
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Stephen · 91 weeks ago

Hey Joel, what happened to the alt text button? I can’t view the mouse-over text from my tablet anymore. It makes me sad. And I read your comics to bring myself joy. 🙂

2 replies · active 91 weeks ago

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hijinksensue· 91 weeks ago

read the blog post.
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Stephen · 91 weeks ago

Ah. Well now I feel silly. Thanks for the reply though. 🙂

Highway To The Danger Zone

The BIGGEST MERCH SALE I HAVE EVER DONE  ENDS THIS WEEK (9/21/13)! GO NOW to the HE STORE $10 Books! $9 Shirts! 

I made you TWO new Breaking Bad Lofi comics over the weekend. Check them out HERE and HERE.

“Take my breath awaaayyyyyy… Bum buhhhh, bum buhhhhhh, bum BUHHHHH…”

COMMENTERS: WHY DID GOOSE HAVE TO DIEEE!?!?!? Wait… no. That’s not the question. Top Gun is a movie that nearly perfectly encapsulates the 80’s. How we talked, how we dressed, the kinds of jets we flew… it’s all there. Which movies do you think can define, or at least explain each decade to someone that didn’t live through them? For the late 90’s, the only correct answer is Hackers.

NOTE: The Mobile Alt Text button broke when I put the big store sale banner in the site. As soon as the sale is over I will put the button back.

Have you seen my wife’s latest geeky jewelry creation? DNA Necklaces! 

DNA Necklace on Etsy

 

Comments (38)

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ricky's avatar

ricky · 91 weeks ago

Hahaha!!!!
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Bruceski · 91 weeks ago

I think to explain the 80s you just have someone watch a sunset while playing Everybody Wants to Rule the World.

1 reply · active 91 weeks ago

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MrPlow99 · 91 weeks ago

In a house filled with popcorn
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Pete_Bone· 91 weeks ago

I’ll see your Top Gun and raise you a Desperately Seeking Susan. It’s horrible that it’s so accurate.

Also “Go” for the 90’s

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Dean · 91 weeks ago

<i.Strange Days</i>. It captures late-90s technofear and pre-millenial angst perfectly.
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hijinksensue· 91 weeks ago

thank you so much. I hope they seem more real because that is my intent and it’s not just some grand accident.
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hijinksensue· 91 weeks ago

You’re spot on. I think it encapsulates exactly what it was like just before social tech changed essentially everything about how we interacted with the world and the people in it.
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Siirenias · 91 weeks ago

Oughts. I call it the Oughts.
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hijinksensue· 91 weeks ago

I dont know if I can get on board with this. Swingers captured a type of behavior that I have never seen an actual human exhibit. It might be a good movie from the 90’s but is it a great movie ABOUT the 90’s? I’d counter with “Singles” and “Reality Bites.”
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HikingViking · 91 weeks ago

It’s interesting – now that I live in Seattle, I could totally see Singles being a staple movie of the 90’s. Actually, the Seattle-impression from that movie was what attracted me to move up here in the first place. But growing up in Southern California, I can vouch that many, many people acted EXACTLY like the characters in Swingers.
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That_guy · 91 weeks ago

Empire Records

It’s a bunch of emo teens saving a record store run by a guy who would have had to accomplish something to be washed up.

Also, I still like it.

1 reply · active 91 weeks ago

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hijinksensue· 91 weeks ago

This is my wife’s favorite teen-times movie and yes, you are correct that it bleeds the 90’s from every pore.
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nenslo · 91 weeks ago

Surely Clerks for the 90s? Whiny, narcissistic, unsure where to go or what the future holds. Dante Hicks is the human race in one perfectly encapsulated arsehole.

80s, I’d go with Big Trouble in Little China (mainly because I still don’t know what that movie is about and I have similar feelings about the 80s in general); early 00s I’d go with Suckerpunch, because we all got taken to mental wards/brothels and then fantasised about killing steampunk Nazis with Gatling guns… obviously.

2 replies · active 91 weeks ago

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hijinksensue· 91 weeks ago

See if you can follow me on this line of logic (since Im not sure that it makes sense), but to me Clerks in a quintessential 90’s movie not because it was INFORMED BY 90’s culture, but because of it’s own influence on the way we spoke, dressed, and the affect it had on movies to follow. In that respect, I would not say it’s very representative of what living through the 90’s was actually like.
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nenslo · 91 weeks ago

I see where you’re coming from and maybe it is a case of hindsight but to be so spot on, surely it must be informed of current culture (at the time) otherwise it wouldn’t have hit home in quite the same way. I absolutely agree with you that it affected cinema since its release but as a definition of 90s, the zeitgeist, the angst and apathy (although this could be a regional thing) then I think it’s spot on.

Personally, I love Clerks and Dante always reminds me of myself and how I felt after leaving university.

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Aetheling · 91 weeks ago

I think the Matrix sums up the late nineties and early two thousands (I hate the term noughties). The whole thing about rebellion against a system certainly influenced me and my friends. That, and all the cool clothes. (to an extent, I’ve always thought of the Matrix as a tipping point when people really started to ask questions about government in the modern age and it’s been steadily fermenting from 1999 onwards.)
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hijinksensue· 91 weeks ago

I dont think he would like it, since it’s cheap mexican beer with a fake german name.
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The Unknown FB · 91 weeks ago

It sounds more like something directly marketed to straight frats in college towns who need to get drunk to have man-on-man sex. ..
…before they come out 20 years later after decades of hitting on me when “the wife is out of town”.
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Bill Murphy · 91 weeks ago

For the 80’s “Wall Street”. 😉

For the 90’s just a photograph of Sandra Bullock. She was in almost every movie that decade.

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bubujin_2 · 91 weeks ago

For the 80s, “The Breakfast Club”–at least as a microcosm of white teenage suburbia.
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Dave · 91 weeks ago

For the past few comics, I have noticed that the radio button to reveal the hover text is gone. Now I can’t see the hover text when I am using my iPad to access the site. That makes me a sad Mac.

1 reply · active 91 weeks ago

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samldanach· 91 weeks ago

If you read the note at the end of the commentary section, it mentions that that button is currently borked, but will return to service soon.
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DuckAmuck · 91 weeks ago

I kinda think the best movie to sum up the ’80s is actually “Hot Tub Time Machine.”
Complete with a whiny John Cusack. And sex, drugs and booze. And skiing. And “violent” preppies.

2 replies · active 91 weeks ago

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gabepuratekuta· 91 weeks ago

But it wasn’t made in the 80s
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MrPlow99 · 91 weeks ago

Yeah… if we’re going to allow movies made more recently but set in the 80s, I would nominate The Wedding Singer.
Steve's avatar

Steve · 91 weeks ago

Because if Goose didn’t die, we wouldn’t get Deadmeat jokes for Hot Shots. Not to mention Washout. Goose died for better humor.

1 reply · active 91 weeks ago

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lou · 91 weeks ago

So, it was worth it, right?
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90percentgeek · 91 weeks ago

I think you can define decades by their horror movies (but then I am currently involved in watching a horror movie marathon). So 80s the Friday the 13th saga, 90s the Scream saga, 00s The Ring. I can’t wait to see what this decades defining horror movie will be.

1 reply · active 91 weeks ago

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hijinksensue· 91 weeks ago

VERY interesting idea. Scream is almost the perfect 90’s movie. It’s jaded with it’s own genre. That’s the 90’s in a nutshell.
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jiynx · 91 weeks ago

you and wheaton need to get together to make brobrau a thing.

 

I Wanna Be Where The People Are

The BIGGEST MERCH SALE I HAVE EVER DONE  is happening RIGHT NOW in the HE STORE and ends on 9/21/13!!! $10 Books! $9 Shirts! Other things! Different Prices!

The more I worked from home, worked my own hours and spent the day making comics for, packing orders for and interacting primarily with Internet strangers, the more I felt disconnected from the people in my life. Eventually I started keeping crazy person hours, going to bed at 7am and waking up at 4pm (kind of what I’m doing right now) which made it totally impossible to have lunch with friends or even get out and run errands during the day with other humans were about. I tried working at Starbucks or the library just to be around other ambulatory corpses, but no one “office” other than my home ever seemed to be worth the trouble of packing up all my gear.

Cartooning can be a lonely job. The main thing that has made a difference in this is having other cartoonists on Skype video calls or Google Hangouts. They don’t even have to be talking that much for it to seem like there is another person in the room. Like you have a coworker. It makes such a greater impact when you can actually glance over and see your friends working instead of just hearing their voices, or reading their instant messages. This is especially appreciated by me since I only see most of my cartoonist friends 4-5 times a year, if I’m lucky. I would imagine the next piece of tech that’s going to become as ubiquitous as smartphones and tablets is large (life size) telepresence, either through Skype embedded in every TV or some sort of mobile projection apparatus. Imagine Thanksgiving dinner with your entire extended family projected on the wall, and you stuck in another state or another country. Other than the sensations of touch and smell, you SHOULD feel like you are all in the same room. I know when I think back to conversations I’ve had via video chat, I remember them as if we were together in the same space, not talking through little magic picture boxes.

COMMENTERS: I’m sure a number of your work from home, or have in the past. How do you combat the loneliness? Do you find you work better when you’re alone or when you have other people to bounce ideas off of?

NOTE: The Mobile Alt Text button broke when I put the big store sale banner in the site. As soon as the sale is over I will put the button back.

Have you seen my wife’s latest geeky jewelry creation? DNA Necklaces! 

DNA Necklace on Etsy

 

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benthorp· 92 weeks ago

Every time people talk about working from home, all I can think about is this sketch: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KGg1567fzTY
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Laura Condit · 92 weeks ago

I had foot surgery a year ago and had to work from home for a couple of months. It was FABULOUS! IRL I share an office with a person who can be loud and VERY irritating sometimes so for me my time at home was a peaceful break. I don’t know if it would be difficult to adjust to being alone at home all the time but for me those two months were heavenly!
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@TheJoshAtkins · 92 weeks ago

I’ve been working at home for a little over 11 years now. My company closed our Boston-area office, and I stayed on remotely instead of relocating. At first it was FANTASTIC. I still had a large group of friends in the area that I could see if my off hours. Not having anyone around during the day was more than fine.

My wife and I have since moved, and making new friends in a new place as a work-at-homer has been very tough. I’ve taken a lot of classes through the Adult Education services in my town and met a few people that way. I started becoming more active on Twitter too. Following local people to get more of sense of the place. I still haven’t met most of my Twitter “friends” IRL, but having them virtually helps me feel more part of the place.

I feel the loneliness more in the days after getting together with old friends. Missing the old days of having them around all the time.

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Daltana · 92 weeks ago

I have two jobs. Mornings are spent working from home in a freelance aspect. Evenings are spent at the front desk of a small hotel. There are times I would gladly give up the second job for more time with the first, but I do enjoy the new people I meet each day.

On a side note, one of my elementary school classrooms had Number Munchers and Alphabet Munchers video games on old Apple II/IIe computers.

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King Zilch· 92 weeks ago

Yeah, I’ve worked from home off and on for the last few years; most recently I worked on a huge video project on such a tight schedule that I had to eschew the few social opportunities I had. And on those rare occasions when going out with people was unavoidable (like the small matter of my tenth wedding anniversary), I kept stressing about how much work I wasn’t getting done. So yeah, it can mess with your head.

It also puts me in mind of an earlier period, when I was working nights in a casino. I’d go to work at 10 PM and get home at 7 AM, putting me on pretty much the exact opposite schedule of all my friends. I started spending time on Yahoo chat, just to have people to interact with. I was keenly aware that it was no substitute for real social contact (even when I ventured into the *ahem* adult rooms), but the upside was that I met my wife that way.

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Fren · 92 weeks ago

Lifesize telepresence is a thing. I install these systems all the time for corporate overlords. All you really need a a BIIIIG BIG monitor. Like a nice 60 inch panel. Mount that puppy in portrait orientation, configure a computer to hook that resolution in that orientation, and whammo. You’re set.

Don’t be fooled by all the fancy geegaws, a hardware codec is just a specialized computer running software that you can run on your own general use PC. You can do it!

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brigidkeely· 92 weeks ago

I turn the tv on to keep me company sometimes and hear a voice that isn’t a 4 year old pretending to be a baby. I wind up watching a lot of truly awful tv. Did you know that H2 (a History channel) showed a program claiming that Kristalnacht was caused by Jewish teenagers who used a ouja board to raise a demon (a dybbuk) and didn’t properly disburse it? Yup, all the fault of Satanic Jews. Sadly, my writing got derailed by ranting on twitter.
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Chad · 92 weeks ago

My husband works from home. 80% or more of his company are entirely home based employees. He gets up every morning at 630 and goes to the gym, runs errands during the day when work is slow, and we spend the weekends out amongst the plebs.
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Miles · 92 weeks ago

Having an omnipresent skype seems a terrible thing to me, but I am not a work at home person. I also don’t turn a TV on for company (my TV is not in my apartment, it is in my brother’s home). I just… I just feel like silence is golden for me.
Of course, I don’t skype. I don’t use twitter. I don’t have a friendface account. Most memes pass me by undisturbed.
I am even okay not going out and meeting new people; it’s not that I am antisocial, but I value my alone time, and truy do enjoy the silence, and rarely get lonely. Of course, I find it pretty easy to make new friends and acquaintances too. I mean, right now, I’m many miles from ‘home’ as a mature student working on my Bachelor’s degree then my Master’s. The people I can friends are states away, and I get to see them once a year, maybe.
I dunno, I guess I am just a different kind of person.
I am more a “leave me alone so I can get my work done, and then screw around doing what I want to do” kind of beast.
=D
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Hotsauce · 92 weeks ago

Actually, the George R R Martin cookbook is called “A Feast of Ice and Fire” and is a thing that actually exists.
I still have no desire to eat eel pie. I eat eel sushi, but eel pie just sounds… squamous

2 replies · active 92 weeks ago

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Hotsauce · 92 weeks ago

I think it’s called “Samwell Tarley is Self-insertion”
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Bill Murphy · 92 weeks ago

If I feel lonely, I make a phone call. But that’s rare. I enjoy time by myself.

I’m also too much of a control freak to let anyone have input into something I’m doing. So I never bounce ideas off anyone. 😀

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EvilRonda · 92 weeks ago

I’ve been working from home for a few years now, with my ridiculous dog for company, and I love it!

I work for a company that mostly is on east coast time, and I’m on the west coast, so i get up a bit early, and am generally able to shut off work by 3, then go out into the world to be with the normal humans.

It’s fantastic 🙂

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hijinksensue· 92 weeks ago

Its disappearance is explained in the blog post on this very page.
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DuckAmuck · 92 weeks ago

My favorite George R. R. Martin themed recipe is “The Red Breading.”

1 reply · active 92 weeks ago

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DuckAmuck · 92 weeks ago

From the cookbook “A Feast of Pies and Flour.”
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Dan · 92 weeks ago

If you figure it out, let me know!

The quiet is one of the more difficult aspects of working from home. And some days are harder than others. What works for me is keeping to my daily work schedule (I strictly keep regular office hours). The regularity of it helps the day move along, keeping me busy, and not thinking of how quiet the house it.

Oh that, and playing music VERY VERY LOUDLY.

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Adam p-s · 92 weeks ago

I’m a (humanities) Grad Student, so the most human contact I really get is going to the library to get books. I pretty much talk to my cat constantly, run ideas past him, read him quotes. I usually take his silence to mean “Good idea boss!”.
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lurkie · 92 weeks ago

I found that the moans and “oh baby” noises of the girls in the porn i was constantly watching was pretty close to human contact. Didn’t help me get my work done, though. I think I’m better off now that I’m back in an office…
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neph sy · 92 weeks ago

Crazy person hours – as a natural night owl, that’s my life much of the time. Why do people think you’re lazy if you don’t keep the same hours they do? You sleep the same amount, you work the same amount, it’s just not the same TIME schedule.

The lack of daily contact with people has been grinding me down over 10 years. I am seriously considering getting a part time job just for the social aspect, except I travel quite a bit for half of the year.

My partner is home, because he has been unemployed for a couple of years, and we spend much of our day in different parts of the house. However I worry that we are becoming a circle of two, the weird couple that people can’t relate to. Not that I mind being considered weird, I guess I just need to find more weirdos, people I can relate to.
Too many

Part of the issue is that all my closest friends moved far away years ago for better opportunities, and I don’t meet any new people. Phonecalls, emails and chatting online with strangers does help a bit. Going to craft shows and talking to customers and other crafters is always a pick-me-up. Recently I made friends with a local jeweller who loves to talk, and is also a bit odd. Even though she is more disciplined that I am, she doesn’t judge if I’m working in my pjs, or decide to work a marathon of 24 hours straight .

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Inigo Montoya · 92 weeks ago

Am I the only person who really wants to play that game? lol
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timbearcub· 90 weeks ago

Just going out to a cafe or library helps, just to be near people, it helps the cabin fever!

A Sanguine Response

The BIGGEST MERCH SALE I HAVE EVER DONE  is happening RIGHT NOW in the HE STORE and ends on 9/21/13!!! $10 Books! $9 Shirts! Other things! Different Prices!

I used to have lunch with Josh IRL and his work friends a lot. This was back when the comic was still just a hobby. Josh had a core group of lunch-goers, but he would always show up with 2-3 new people. They, being average, sane human beings would ask me, the one person at the table of 8-10 whom they did not work with, what I did for a living. Back then this question always made me feel like they were saying, “We all make video games. How exactly are you NOT living up to your potential?” Or even more simply, I would hear, “Hi! Nice to meet you! Tell me why you hate yourself!” I would usually say something like “I manage a small design team,” which was true. I would leave out the second half of that sentence which was, “…that makes websites for dentists.” Gross.

Once cartooning became my full time job it took me a long time to get used to saying “I’m a cartoonist.” It was certainly a truthful enough answer to, “What do you do?” but (as with any aspirational, dare-to-dream career) I always felt kind of like I was lying. Like I should have said, “I’m a cartoonist but I’m not very well known and I’m broke.” Eventually I realized the question was not, “How successful are you?” It was, “What do you do?” And What I did was draw comics. Eventually the work became the reward. The measure of success was that I’d spent one more day or one more month cartooning instead of going back to a day job I hated.

Even though I now have the greatest job in the world, I still get squeamish with strangers ask me what I do. This is only with “normal people” type strangers. I’m always more comfortable with other artists, musicians or entertainers since they probably know what it’s like to live part of your life privately and an increasingly larger part of your life in some form of the public eye. I abhor small talk, and I try to cut it off at every possible pass. I try to give short, curt answers that won’t lead to follow up questions. This is, of course, unhealthy, antisocial behavior. At least I can admit that. I get even more weirded out when people in my regular life (people I know from pre-comic days, family, neighbors or anyone else I know NOT through the Internet) bring up specific comics I’ve drawn or talk about things I’ve said online. I guess to me it feel like Bruce Wayne showing up to a shareholder’s meeting and some guy at the end of the table saying, “Nice job capturing TwoFace last night, Bruce.” People aren’t supposed to see my nighttime activities. Of course I do post them in the most public forum on earth with my actual name attached to each and every one. This is also a brain problem that I have. Again, at least I recognize that it’s a problem.

COMMENTERS: Hate small talk? Hate small talk with a certain person in particular? To what lengths will you go to avoid long conversations with strangers, office mates, family, etc? When I’m on an airplane I pop my earbuds in immediately, even if I’m not listening to music. It creates a forcefield of “I probably can’t hear you, so don’t talk to me,” that I quite appreciate because, again, brain problems.

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hijinksensue· 92 weeks ago

All of these things are right and true, but it doesn’t change how I don’t like to talk to the lady that cuts my hair.
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T.J. · 92 weeks ago

I don’t understand why my barber always insists on talking to me. It’s such an uncomfortable position to be in, with someone you know passingly (at best) wielding an array sharp objects very close to my faceparts, all the while wanting to know my life’s story. I get that it’s probably a bit strange for them as well, and they could probably use a conversation partner. But sitting in that chair kind of puts you in a defenseless position, so coming up with answers to small talk gets even tougher, and all I really wanted was to get a haircut.

1 reply · active 92 weeks ago

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Tommy · 92 weeks ago

I’d rather talk to the hair stylist than to try to carry a conversation with the dentist/dental hygienist. The ones fresh off the boat from southeast Asia need the practice in speaking and listening to English.
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hijinksensue· 92 weeks ago

Of course THEN there was that kid at your house for thanksgiving that grilled him constantly about “teh gaems” and went so far as to ask if he has a bunch of free xbox games he could give him.
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Natalie · 92 weeks ago

Pretty sure the whole reason that silent ringtones were invented was so people can pretend they just got a super important text that requires their immediate attention, or so they can just avoid conversation totally. Sometimes I look around a train or a waiting room and wonder what percent of people on their phones actually have friends who are messaging them and which ones are just looking at porn or typing out the words to American Pie.
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Will · 92 weeks ago

I was just thinking the same thing. I generally read this from my ipad and it was great to still be able to see the alt-text via the old button. I was just catching up on the comic when I realized something was missing.
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DrPepperMD· 92 weeks ago

It’s still there for me on on chrome v29.
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hijinksensue· 92 weeks ago

It’s currently broken because of the big SALE graphic above the comic. After the sale Ill pop it back in.
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brigidkeely· 92 weeks ago

I don’t normally avoid small talk, actually. One of my favorite things about retail is the constant stream of new customers and small talk and being able to recycle my jokes endlessly, to the consternation of my co-workers. However, there are times I do not want the small talk, usually when I’m taking public transit or walking down the street. Since I am a lady-type, I don’t really have any defense against that. A lot of dudes see ear buds as like an INVITATION to just TRY HARDER.
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Amy · 92 weeks ago

I actually get more uncomfortable with questions like that. Mostly because I tend to read cheap “genre” fantasy and science fiction. It can be hard to explain what some of my favorite books are about without it sounding ridiculous. There have even been a couple of times when I’ve decided NOT to bring a particular book to work or school because I don’t want to have to talk about it.

But I guess basically I don’t want people getting too close to me, so I’d rather answer the superficial “what do you do” type of questions. I feel like people are more likely to judge me for liking Piers Anthony than for being a math tutor.

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adamrocketblack· 92 weeks ago

Piers Anthony, ?
Amy, I SO used to respect you….
Now let me get back to my auto-didactucation in the tropes of The TV.
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Runcibletune · 92 weeks ago

I discovered how to make paper book covers in elementary school when I wanted to bring a Piers Anthony book (or one of the more tawdrily illustrated Anne McCaffrey books) to school.
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AmyLynn · 92 weeks ago

I know enough about weather and sports to be able survive lines at the bank and such. My difficulty is at work, where I have nothing to contribute to conversations about clothes, nail polish and whatever was on TLC last night. I am working on my “I’m too busy – go away” body language, but I am concerned I will be the coworker that everyone hates. It is not that I don’t like anything, I just don’t like anything they like. I also open a book as soon as I sit in my airplane seat, but only because that small talk usually involves long conversations that tend to pry into my privacy, like “where are you going?”

1 reply · active 92 weeks ago

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The Unknown FB · 92 weeks ago

I work in a very small office enclave inside our client’s corp HQ, so I have to deal with 2 different work “cultures”, most of which involve pick-em up trucks as big as the Titanic that the ladies in hooker pumps can’t park, burnt/grilled/sauced meat-flavored products that have no actual flavor, and CONSTANT talk about the footsball.

As a nerd gaymer moderately fashionable non-hetero male, you might be able to image me with YouTube running constantly while I have any podcast nerdery available to listen to in my ear buds. And long lunches where I hide from the rednex, yahoos, hilljacks, and the like.

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Bill Murphy · 92 weeks ago

One great way to end a conversation is to invade a person’s personal space. That is the airspace two feet around their body. You don’t have to touch them, just continue with the conversation but get less than two feet from them. Subconsciously they will feel awkward and remove themselves.

This has been tested and proven over a 4 year study working at Six Flags. 😉

3 replies · active 92 weeks ago

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kabann· 92 weeks ago

Gosh I wish that worked. I seem to get stuck meeting people who have no concept of personal space… the ones who shake your hand and try to hold it for the amount of time it takes to learn all about what you do for a living, where you’re from, and what about before that.
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Candace · 92 weeks ago

Yeah, I suspect that works better for men than women, and best for men who are larger/taller than average. On the other end of that, most people do not find petite women particularly intimidating, and I have no doubt that there are plenty of male strangers out there who would love it if I invaded their personal space.
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The Unknown FB · 92 weeks ago

I find that flatulence, especially some SBDs from a woman, will fix that right up.
Try it sometime.
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TJ Kiltman Anderson · 92 weeks ago

pretend Turrets ala Boondock SHIT! FUCK! CUNT! Saints..PeopleAreLessLikely To Converse TWAT! CUNT! SHIT! with you.
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Jeff West · 92 weeks ago

I am Deaf, but I was raised in both oral and sign language methods of communication, so I have the best of both worlds. I can talk to hearing people using only my voice just as easily as I talk to Deaf/Hard-of-Hearing people using only signs. However, my favorite thing to do, when avoiding people, is to just start signing and act like I have no ability to speak. Nothing scares hearing people away faster than seeing a Deaf person and not knowing how to respond. It’s effective against chatty strangers, pesky sales/survey people at the mall, and anyone who goes door-to-door preaching their religion.
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Cori K · 92 weeks ago

Yeah, awkward I understand. I study religion in the US. People have said so many stupid and even hurtful things about it that I am also sometimes hesitant to tell people what I do. Hell, I’ve even had friends pull the “you’re wasting your talent” line on me. It’s easy to get defensive, especially when you’ve been put on the defensive so many times in the past.

And if I tell them I work on religion and pop culture (with special attention to TV and webcomics), well, then it gets interesting. I’m just throwing my life away, after all.

(How do I get people to stop? I’ll let you know when I figure it out myself.)

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antisocialbutterflie· 92 weeks ago

I fall on the other end of the career spectrum but I have the same problem. I have a PhD in a hard science and I HATE telling people. I will usually perform conversational back flips to avoid telling people about my job. Once it’s out there it’s the only thing bother to learn about me. People assume I must be super smart and make tons of money. And I have to reply “No actually I spend most of my day watching liquid drip from a tube and make less than a manager at McDonalds.”
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Candace · 92 weeks ago

I actually don’t mind making small talk with strangers or people I don’t know very well most of the time, although I can relate to not liking it when strangers ask me what I’m reading, since most of it is science fiction or fantasy, and I hate that blank or glazed-eye look I get from non-geek types when I say who/what I’m reading.

If I’m not in the mood to talk to anyone, I try to avoid making eye contact. That usually works pretty well if there’s no one present I actually need to talk to for some reason.

What I really hate is when I’m in a store and just want to browse, and someone is trying to “help” me. Then, of course, whenever I do need help while shopping, there is nary a salesperson in sight.

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manbeardman · 92 weeks ago

i normally avoid people as if all of them are carrying the plague and therefor dislike small talk the only time i dont is when playing online games or at game store or at the anime store getting my gundam fix
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MrSueDenim· 92 weeks ago

I’m riddled with anxieties about social situations. (All part of a larger mental-health clusterfuck I deal with.) These days I try to engage as much as possible, but I still have a range of tricks I use to escape those stressful situations.

In my youth I would imitate a profound speech impediment (a splisp – half stutter, half lisp) or fake a foreign accent to avoid talking to others.

These days, I have an app on my phone that lets me fake a call by having the phone ring and displays one of my contacts as the caller.

If that can’t buy me an exit, then I go for an Oscar and fake an emotional response: I go glassy eyed & stare off into space for a bit, sigh deeply and mournfully, and then ask them if they wouldn’t mind if I stepped out for a bit. Most people are too considerate to say no. (In the event that tears are needed, I like to remind myself that everyone I love will eventually die.)

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FuryOfFirestorm· 92 weeks ago

When in doubt, just quote Kindergarten Cop

Say, “I’m a gynecologist, and I look at vaginas all day!”. If that fails, scream “IT’S NOT A TUMOR!” really loud.

That should get people to stop asking about your job.

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Leshka · 92 weeks ago

Putting on headphones works for you? You lucky bastard! I’ll have headphones, mouth the words to the song I’m listening to AND be reading a book, and I still get people who pass others on the subway just to ask me for directions.

I keep looking for that tattoo on my forehead that says “Information – please disturb”.

1 reply · active 92 weeks ago

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hijinksensue· 92 weeks ago

I believe I heard this from a comedian but the idea that you would try to START a conversation with a person reading a book (an act that requires 100% of your concentration) is sociopathic to me.
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Tom · 92 weeks ago

Everything I know about small talk I learned from Star Trek: The Next Generation ‘Starship Mine’.

1 reply · active 92 weeks ago

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hijinksensue· 92 weeks ago

take out “about small talk” and “Starship Mine” and that’s me.
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StephC · 92 weeks ago

Try this one… you’ve taken off from working a “real job” to try and write a book and aren’t published. That’s always really awkward because people either assume you’re just sitting on your ass all day or they ask what you’re writing about. I can handle other small talk with strangers except the subject of career.
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Christina · 92 weeks ago

As someone who makes video games for a living, I can tell you that most “normal” people react the exact same way. When my hairstylist, dental hygienist, or random friend of a friend asks me what I do, it’s the same embarrassing experience where they give me a look like “Is that a real job?” because in their minds, someone working on video games is basically an overgrown child. :/

Who Is Your Daddy And What Does He Do?

The BIGGEST MERCH SALE I HAVE EVER DONE  is happening RIGHT NOW in the HE STORE and ends on 9/21/13!!! $10 Books! $9 Shirts! Other things! Different Prices!

This is essentially the first comic of the rebooted redirectionalized (no WAY this is a real word) HijiNKS ENSUE. The storyline before this serves as a sort of bridge between the pop culture based, continuity free strips and the new stuff. It’s not going to be all parenting stuff from here on out. That’s just how I’m choosing to start this phase of my work, because that (being a parent) was the entire reason I started the comic and eventually started The Experiment. It seems fitting that this new chapter in The Experiment begins with comics about the impetus for The Experiment itself and a discussion of one of the ideals I brought up in my original Experiment writings.

There is this pervasive idea that “artist” is not a job. A concept that in order to be an artist or a musician or an independent anything, you must ALSO have a “respectable” day job. The short version of my thesis on the subject is that art, music, comedy, drama enrich the lives of essentially every person who lives on this planet, yet most of those people would consider those professions as fake or unattainable “you’re deluding yourself” dreams. Well, that is until those careers are practiced at their absolute apex. No one scoffs at the career path of an international pop star or an Oscar winner. Yet they seem to forget that everyone they admire in entertainment started as a “deluded dreamer.” Further more, they don’t seem to realize that intense satisfaction, personal worth, accomplishment and even financial gain can be made from just doing the thing (usually the art) that you want to do for a considerably smaller audience. I, and thousands like me, are proof that this idea is outdated and irrelevant, to say the least. Yesterday my kid said she can’t decide is she wants to be “a veterinarian or a famous artist.” She pointed out that a vet gets to be around cute animals all day (plus one in the vet column), but she already knows from me selling prints of her artwork at conventions (for which she gets all of the money) that drawing something once and getting paid for it over and over is NOT too shabby of a gig. There are far worse ways to make a living.

My daughter has actually had a pretty good handle on what I do for a living for a couple of years now. She once said, “You draw pictures for your friends and if they like them, they pay you for them.” That’s not SUPER far off from entirely accurate. She also understands that I don’t to go to work away from home every day, but in exchange I have to leave for a convention 3-4 days a month. I’ve convinced her this is a more than fair trade and a small price to pay. When a stranger asks me what I do, and I don’t want to get into specifics I’ll usually say I’m a cartoonist. They’ll ask what cartoons I draw (they almost ALWAYS assume “cartoonist means “animator”), and I’ll say I do my own cartoons online. This typically ends the conversation because that sounds like I’m saying, “I don’t have a job but I fuck around on the Internet a lot.” If I just want to shut the conversation down and, say, finish my haircut in silent peace I will say I am “an illustrator.” NO ONE has a follow up question for that one. Not entirely sure why, either.

COMMENTERS: Have you ever had a hard time explaining what it is you do, or what your spouse, parents or kids do? 

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Macman · 92 weeks ago

I work in capacity planning and performance monitoring and management of IT systems. I have a hell of a time explaining my job to people…assuming I can even keep them awake long enough to get through the explanation. My son has come to work with me a couple of times, and I still don’t think he could tell anyone what I do.

4 replies · active 92 weeks ago

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thevoxpopuli· 92 weeks ago

So…what do you do?
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Macman · 92 weeks ago

What? That first sentence didn’t explain it all?

I used to performance test web applications to ensure that they can handle the expected user loads that they will experience in our production environment and also making sure that we have the system capacity on the floor to take on the new application and user loads. Lately I’ve been working more on implementing tools to monitor application performance in our test and production environments. Asleep yet?

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thevoxpopuli· 92 weeks ago

That sounds exactly like what my buddy does. He has stopped explaining it to people. Now he just says “I work on the parts of cell phone games you don’t really see.”
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Macman · 92 weeks ago

That’s a good answer, actually. I may have to steal it.
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Mr_MFS· 92 weeks ago

I saw this, read your follow up, and can totally relate. My wife, as it were, has the “real” job working in an office, whereas I’m an actor. I’m doing everything I can to make what I do my source of income, but people always ask me, “When are you going to get a job?” As if the acting thing is not work in itself between the auditions and classes, and doing small parts for little to no pay isn’t work, I find it hard to explain. However, I do think I might need some type of work to keep myself busy or at least to support the career path I’m carving for myself.

1 reply · active 92 weeks ago

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Stagegeek · 92 weeks ago

I can certainly relate. I went to school for theatre, and haven’t done a bit of it since, working jobs to keep my head above water which did not allow the time free to act. I have now started a regular 9-5, and have started auditioning again (just this week, the Broadway Bound show “National Passtime” at Little Theatre of Wilkes-Barre). My wife is an artist/creative guru. She has not held a regular 9-5 type job for 3 years now, and does her best to help out around the house as much as she can. Unfortunately, we have yet to find the market for her brand of art, which she describes as “Vividly Cheerful Abstract Art”, which can all be found available for purchase at ww.spkcreative.com.
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Rich · 92 weeks ago

I (hope I) speak for everyone when I say I will continue not to use an adblocker as long as you continue not to sell space to ads that want blocking (noisy one, autoplayers, malware installers, etc). Keep up the good work (and the reasonably palatable ads) and we’ll keep up the page views. :)b
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JoJo · 92 weeks ago

i agree with the good fellow up there. i always disable adblock for the webcomics i read. as for my job, since i juggle myself between 2 or 3 jobs regularly, i say that “i do things, fix problems, know people”

1 reply · active 92 weeks ago

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hijinksensue· 92 weeks ago

You are obviously a contract killer.
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gabepuratekuta· 92 weeks ago

You’re the IT guy, then
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Crotalus · 92 weeks ago

True… but only the offspring are capable of that devastatingly vicious bitchslap to the ego.
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Ceri · 92 weeks ago

You obviously haven’t met my mum…
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hijinksensue· 92 weeks ago

I was gonna say… Im sure for a lot of people the ego hit would be WORSE coming from their parents. My mom has little to no idea what I actually do. She knows I draw comics and put them on the internet but I think the comprehension stops there.
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MrSueDenim· 92 weeks ago

Adblock disabled!

I’m a high school teacher, but when people ask I reply that I am a forensic anthropologist who specialises in embryos. “I poke your babies until they do what I want.”

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mist · 92 weeks ago

tends to puzzle me a bit, about the “don’t come home to a pigsty”, and when others mention childcaring with regards to laundry and cooking. Do they assume that single people doing other jobs don’t have to look after their domicile or prepare their own food?. (I know there’s more to home management than just that, but those don’t go away just because you work 10-15 hrs in a “real” job)
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thevoxpopuli· 92 weeks ago

it’s part of the benefit of a relationship in general. If two people are working, both have to share that workload but also share in the extra money that comes in. IF one person is working the other can dedicate time to making sure the home is in great shape. Either way, it lightens the load on both. Single people just have that extra chore. They’re poorer and/or there home requires the extra work,
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Leshka · 92 weeks ago

Title: Word Processing Supervisor. Unfortunately, I don’t have a staff anymore, and I do all the work myself. What is it I do, you ask? Depends on the day. I usually say “I do the stuff no one else wants to do” but there are many jobs like that.

I went to pastry school (and huuuuge debt) just so I could say a profession in 2 words: pastry chef. Course that doesn’t pay the bills, so incomprehensible job, here I come…

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dan · 92 weeks ago

My father in law plays violin for one of the top symphonies in the USA. When I told my mom the was a violinist for the symphony she said the same as in the strip..but what is his real job?

Granted, I grew up in a city with a symphony that was just okay and was basically volunteer with stipend pay, so those musicians did have other jobs.

1 reply · active 92 weeks ago

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Runcibletune · 92 weeks ago

Augh, the music student in me just emitted a sympathetic wail at that story.
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Jason· 92 weeks ago

I’m a technical writer. When people ask what that means, I usually tell them that I write all the user manuals that no one ever reads.

1 reply · active 92 weeks ago

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Siirenias · 92 weeks ago

Hey, I want to let you know that I read them! They tell me how to not break things.

Usually.

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brigidkeely· 92 weeks ago

I’m a stay at home parent which is barely one step removed from being a pan handler in terms of respectability. Easy to explain, but nobody sticks around for the explanation because they assume they know what I’m going to say before I say it.

1 reply · active 92 weeks ago

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hijinksensue· 92 weeks ago

Gah! I know this so well. My wife stayed home with our daughter for the first 5 years. She still works from home but when people would say “and what does your wife do.” I would usually say, “She works a HELL of a lot harder than I do.”
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The black dog · 92 weeks ago

This comic reflects exactly what my boyfriend goes through sometimes since he is an actor.
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Chelsea · 92 weeks ago

I’ve been going around and around with my husband on a similar topic. I’m currently a technical writer, but I’m trying very hard to quit that and be a full-time novelist. Husband is very supportive about the plan, but doesn’t get why I don’t want to tell every Larry, Moe, and Curly I meet that I’m writing a book. Honestly, I just don’t want to deal with the “delusional dreamer” side-eye. I figure having actual, hard-earned money to show for my work (even if it’s not very much) makes it look more legitimate from the outside.
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hijinksensue· 92 weeks ago

One of the reasons I dont tell strangers I write comic strips is, “hey I had a funny thought. You can use it in one of your funny papers!”
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DuckAmuck · 92 weeks ago

I constantly have a hard time explaining what I do. I’m a graphic designer. (yes, but what do you DO? You design graphics? –No, I design graphically.)
I don’t create advertising for a major national company – but I adjust those advertisements to specs given by individual company reps for their own personal advertising.
Sound fun? No? Tedious and stupid? Yeah, that’s about right…
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Paul · 92 weeks ago

Disc Jockey. No… not on the radio…. No…. not at a concert…. no…. not at a club…. yeah…. parties…. right…. I PARTY for a living…. right…. there is never any “real” workj…. Seriously, this IS my full time gig….. it IS putting my daughter through college, feeds my 17 year old son, supports all our media habits, pays the mortgage and taxes. Sure, my wife has a Masters degree. Who do you think supported us while she did here time and now that she’s overqualified for any paying job in this town. Yep, I also get to volunteer at school during the day. DJ SuperDad
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ken · 92 weeks ago

No one has a follow up to illustrator because most don’t know what that means but don’t want to admit it

1 reply · active 92 weeks ago

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Dan · 92 weeks ago

My kids haven’t asked me this question yet. They seem to appreciate my job as an artist, especially since it means I’m home for them after school. Whenever I start to stress about not pulling my financial weight in the family, my wife reminds me of how much we’d have to pay for babysitting for all the time I am with the kids.

1 reply · active 92 weeks ago

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hijinksensue· 92 weeks ago

When I was still working a regular job we did some math and realized that with daycare and gas my wife was only earning about $300 a month working 40+ hours a week. She quit the next month.
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Tony · 92 weeks ago

Hopefully by the time I have kids, I’ll actually have to explain what I’m doing, not what I went to school to learn to do but now just get really annoyed trying to do in my free time and don’t know if I even want to do anymore. That, or hopefully I’ll have gotten good enough to get paid to draw pictures like I think I rather would, but can’t be sure of until I can kinda form any sort of consistent artistic habit.

But with everyone else, I just point to Pixar movies and say “Kinda like that.” If pressed, I can go into the differences between real-time rendering and prerendered films and all the constraints that adds, and the differences between environment and character art, and textures and rigs and particle effects, and whichever discipline I’m trying to get passable at at any given time, and the fact that the general perception in the industry is that no one wants to play a game about a talking airplane when they could be playing the next Call of Duty or Madden and how that affects the aesthetics, and suddenly the Pixar analogy is completely borked so I always pray that I won’t actually be asked to elaborate.

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moffattbooks· 92 weeks ago

i stock shelves overnight at a grocery store…I make up stories as to what I do..the sad part is I can’t do anything evil overnights….so I torture my coworkers with evil geeky ideas instead
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erikrbennett· 92 weeks ago

I had a new one the other day. I’m a Systems Admin in IT, but I usually just say “IT” and if someone asks me for specifics, I oblige. I said my usual “I’m in IT,” and the guy looked at me blankly and said, “What’s that?”

In all my years of doing this (15+) I’ve never had that response. I take for granted that everyone has had to deal with the IT department at some time. Apparently not this guy, for better or for worse. 🙂

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hijinksensue· 92 weeks ago

That is an AWESOME job. When I was a kid I was obsessed with shows like Movie Magic. I wanted to be a prop builder or a model maker or a stop motion animator.
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Ceri · 92 weeks ago

That would be my dream job! Now if only I had an once of artistic talent…
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Ceri · 92 weeks ago

Ounce, dammit.
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GrendelVS · 92 weeks ago

I have a similar problem trying to explain “Change Management” to anyone not in IT.
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theroyalher · 92 weeks ago

Aside from my day job of Personal/Executive assistant which is hard enough to explain because I do WAY more than either of those titles by themselves call for let alone combined I teach and coach Ballroom Dance.
I am one of 6 people on the planet certified by ALL the the organizations which govern ballroom dance and only one of 4 people who teach all styles and coach professional level couples…….try explaining that to the general populace…..usually it goes
“I teach dance”
“Like jazz and hip hop (FML) and stuff?”
“Ballroom”
“OMG like you can tango and stuff”
“And stuff”
“OMG I totally want to learn for my cousin/brother/sisters/friends wedding”
“No”

2 replies · active 92 weeks ago

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hijinksensue· 92 weeks ago

I was a bit of an EA for a few years. I basically ran errands for a rich dude that used to be my boss at a dotcom startup. It was exceedingly weird.
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theroyalher · 92 weeks ago

Weird is right. Theres all the office stuff….answering phones, emails, business travel and the like. Still a number of things other EA’s dont do and wouldnt do especially for the money I make. The real insanity comes in when you take into account that I pay all his household bills, handle all his personal properties and vehicles, buy his clothes, wine, gifts, book all his vacations, doctors…..I mean everything….I even order the coffee for his house……AND I do the same thing for his father, wife and 4 ADULT children.
Had to walk out of a restaurant last night to pick up a call about the new cooling unit for the new wine cellar (the 3rd one) and was able to pay for it over the phone because I use his credit card so much I have the number memorized.
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Greg · 92 weeks ago

“I am a Field Engineer who installs, validates, and repairs automated monitoring and watering systems for Pharmaceutical, Laboratories, and Biotech.”
“Huh???”
“I work with computers.”
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hijinksensue· 92 weeks ago

“All my funny work stories involve blood.”

You and me both.

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mist · 92 weeks ago

Downside of vet is same as downsides for IT fixing. You only see the sick and the injured, you want to help all of them, it’s never as glamorous as it’s sounds and failure is unpleasant.

Did IT, and also security work, for many years. Kids didn’t ask much because I never got to see them that much (server downtime is often best scheduled after hours). They do remember the times (as does my ex) of having to wait outside in the car for hours on end when we got an on-call emergency on way to beach or on way back from holiday, and others were busy.
Now I’m doing FX trading for kicks, and dairy farming. No kid questions as partner took them, she didn’t like being away from her city friends, having to travel, or having a partner smell bad all the time. And I’d still never get to see the kids anyway because farmings 10-12hr days, 7 days a week. But at least I don’t have to constant put up with mismatched poorly de3signed tech, or playing constant catchup with the late$t relea$e or patche$.

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Bruceski · 92 weeks ago

My dad’s an astrophysicist/nuclear physicist. I haven’t a clue what he actually DOES because all the interesting stuff’s classified. He’s semi-retired and currently seeing what papers he didn’t have time to finish that are still publishable, so maybe I can finally read some of his stuff.

1 reply · active 92 weeks ago

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Bruceski · 92 weeks ago

As for me, I’m unemployed but I’m thinking this year I need to call myself a “moving goon”. Seems like 75% of my friends and my parents have been moving this year, and I’ve helped most of them out.
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Fred · 92 weeks ago

I have Adblock turned off but I still see large empty boxes at the top and on the right, and sometimes the bottom too.

???

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Emily · 92 weeks ago

After my dad the computer wizard passed away my mom had a discussion with the manager from his job. Apparently they couldn’t replace him because they weren’t sure what is was that he did, just that everything stopped working after he went into the hospital.

For me I’m transitioning from deli clerk back to my chosen field of childcare, so the responses are switching from “that’s the best you can come up with?” to “you’re crazy to enjoy watching kids for a living!”

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KGHorn · 92 weeks ago

I’m a musician. My favorite was trying to explain what I do to my completely type A+, logical engineering brother and his engineering wife.

Them: “So, you’re majoring in horn performance?”
Me: “Yep.”
Them: “So, what do you do with that?”
Me: “The ultimate goal is to play my horn really well and people will pay me to do it.”
Them: “Wait, people pay you to make music? That can’t actually be a job.”
Me: “Well, there’s the Chicago Symphony, the New York Philharmonic, and even some smaller, local orchestras and all of those musicians get paid to play.”
Them: “But they must have jobs they do, right?”
Me: “No, that IS their job.”
Them: “Really? Are you sure? They just get paid to play in an orchestra?”
Me: “Yes, it’s a full-time job.”
Them: “Oh…….are you really sure about that?”

Sigh.

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Gretchen · 92 weeks ago

I’m an author who still has to make ends meet with a day job (senior technical writer at a biometric security firm…which is every bit as boring as it sounds). I’ve been very lucky to have a supportive husband, family, and even co-workers, but every now and then I’ll get strange questions or condescending remarks. “Why are you writing stories, you already have a real job?” “Do you know how unlikely it is to get published? Probably not worth the effort.” Or my personal favorite, “I’m totally writing a book too! Well, I mean, I have the idea for a book. You know what, you could write it for me, then when it’s a best seller I’ll give you a cut of the profit.”
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Neil · 92 weeks ago

Of course it’s not a real job! You enjoy it.

If the rest of us are going to be miserable in our day to day lives, then we’re sure as hell not going to accept that it’s possible to be paid and not be miserable!

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Neph Sy · 92 weeks ago

My job isn’t hard to explain, but people don’t understand how I can support myself with it. I am an artist, but for the last ten years the focus has been jewelry, as a craftsperson.
“Where do you buy……” – I make it all
“Do you have a store?” No.
Or if I’m at a craft show – You’re in it right now.
“So what stores can I buy your jewelry at” – None
Or if I’m at a craft show – This is the store
“Can you fix this ….(piece of junk jewelry that is not made by me)” – No
“Can you engrave/size my ring/repair (an expensive piece of jewelry not made by me)” – No

I do tire of people thinking that I am a repair shop, must have my own physical store or be selling in stores across the country to be able to support myself. They just don’t get that there are many business models out there. Just like Joel, I’m home working most days, but go out of town to craft shows 1-3 times a month. I can really relate to “the experiment”, and the roller-coaster ride that is being self employed.

At this point my family is pretty much used to the idea that this is my job, but they still keep offering me money. Since I live frugally, it looks to them as if I’m in debt, and poor, but that is not the case. Seriously my parents try to pay me for picking them up at the airport, or mowing their lawn, because “we would of paid someone else to do it”!

1 reply · active 92 weeks ago

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Bruceski · 92 weeks ago

I’ve got a lot of friends at Intel. Some of them run the machines that make the chips, some of them fix stuff that those other people break, but anyone I mention it to assumes they sit in a workroom designing computer chips instead of the reality of “stare at this monitor and do something if this light comes on.” I suppose I should take it as a compliment, I look like someone who has smart friends.

…not to say my friends are stupid, particularly if they read this. There’s just a lot more going on at those companies than the big sexy TV depiction.

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MrPlow99 · 92 weeks ago

I’m a software engineer. I generally find that the only people who ask for more details about what I do are the ones who would understand my answer anyway.

1 reply · active 92 weeks ago

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lou · 92 weeks ago

Reminds me of the many MANY times my dad would get my major wrong when he talks about me to people. He says Computer Science, when I actually studied (and got my B.S. in) Computer Engineering. One time he dropped an f-bomb after I corrected him (not for the first time).
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werwolf · 92 weeks ago

i really wrestled with myself to try to take the high road and add something reasonable or sensible to this comments thread, but… what the heck!
http://youtu.be/FrIpB2B14Ek?t=1m4s
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uwg · 92 weeks ago

You’ve probably heard some version of this joke:

The teacher is asking the kids what their parents do for a living. After a bunch of the usual responses, Little Johnny says, “My daddy plays piano in a whorehouse.” The teacher, flustered, quickly changes the subject. Later she makes a call to Johnny’s father and asks, “What’s this I hear about you playing piano in a whorehouse?” Johnny’s father replies, “Oh, that. Actually I’m a corporate attorney, but you can’t tell that to a 6-year-old kid.”

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Siirenias · 92 weeks ago

I’m an herbalist.

If you can understand what that means…you’re probably also an herbalist. I am so sorry for you.

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lou · 92 weeks ago

My dad is a mortgage broker, a branch of the real estate tree who helps you pay for the house you want to buy. It’s pretty confusing to me, but the best I can describe to those who ask are he’s a go-between from customer to bank.
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FuryOfFirestorm· 92 weeks ago

Joel, the next time your daughter asks what you do, just say, “Daddy occasionally draws gay bearded dudes getting it on, and it is glorious”.

Oh, and I whitelisted the living shit out of this site 8^)

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adamrocketblack· 92 weeks ago

Well, thats all recursive cool-ness and all,
but we are all really on the edge of our seats for when you SORAS this kid into the comedy-laden teen years, ( next week? )
and introduce Cousin Oliver.
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meagankn · 91 weeks ago

This is exactly what I face as an actor pretty much constantly. Along with being consistently asked to work for free. I once tried to make the analogy that you would never approach a chef that you have no previous personal relationship with to cater your wedding for free. No amount of “it will look great on your resume” or “it’s a wonderful learning experience” will get them to say yes. Somehow with the arts it is completely different. And it sometimes sucks. So glad you’re doing this and doing so well at it! And I’m excited to see where the new style will lead!
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Deadboy · 8 weeks ago

I’ve got a slightly different problem. I’m 30 and a punk (big Mohawk, leather jacket, piercings etc), so most people who met me end up asking – “when are you going to grow up and get a job?”
– “I have a job. I work in IT. In an office.”
– “What looking like that?” 0_0
– “Yes, because I’m good at what I do and what I do and my boss isn’t prejadisted.”