Fatal1ty: PwNing n00bz @ teh m4LLz0rZ

Fatal1ty @ the mall

Jonathan “Fatal1ty” Wendel was at the mall this afternoon whoring some keyboards, mice, video cards and other 1337 w4rez.

They were inviting n00bz to play against him for the chance to win $300. One frag got you the prize. The few “competitors” i saw were laid to waste in a matter of seconds.

I can see similar one sided fights coming to our local consumer hot spots:

Contest: Getting a show canceled by Fox
Against: Tim Minear
Odds: Your show gets 6 episodes aired, his is pulled after the opening credits of the pilot (4am Thursday time slot).

Contest: Destroying a beloved Sci-Fi frachize
Tag Team Match: Rick Berman and George Lucas take on all challengers
Odds: You just can’t roll with the big dogs. You lose.

Movin’ on up

Google delivers relevant search results.

HijiNKS Ensue Search Stats 7/16/07

To the 1 guy that needed desperately to know Weezy Jefferson on a deeper level, I apologize that Google led you here. I am also humbly sorry that this post will do you further injustice by strengthening Google’s misguided belief that HijiNKS Ensue is a wealth of Weezy knowledge.

Next time try Weezypedia.

You can also educate yourself on the great state of Florida.

Josh Reviews Transformers: The (other) Movie

Joel: was that [the transformers movie] any good
Josh: yes
Josh: and by yes, i mean no
Joel: are the robots in disguise?
Josh: the movie is entertaining enough while you are watching it
Josh: and then as soon as it’s over you realize you hated it
Joel: most movies are that way
Josh: most movies i hate while i’m watching it
Josh: this movie was fun and exciting and when it was over i realized it was the most shallow thing i had ever seen on film
Josh: by several orders of magnitude
Josh: the movie is fucking schizofrenic
Josh: it doesn’t know if it wants to be serious or tongue-in-cheek
Josh: any humor not involving Shia leBouf is dreadful. Extremely cringe inducing
Joel: youve sold me
Josh: the robot designs make no sense in motion
Josh: when 2 of them are fighting you can’t tell what’s going on at all
Josh: you barely get their names. most of them never talk, and the ones that do are fucking annoying
Josh: except for Optimus
Josh: Bumblebee was pretty cool but still manages a bit of inappropriateness
Joel: robot cock?
Josh: yes
Josh: robot cock
Josh: i’m not kidding
Joel: i’ll take two
Josh: bumblebee throws an oil filter and pisses oil all over a guy
Josh: from his crotch
Josh: there’s an awful long scene about masturbation
Joel: Unicron Masturbation?
Josh: no
Josh: shia lebouf masturbation
Josh: and the awkard parental accusation thereof
Joel: “You’ve got the TOUCH!”