Point Break 2: Pointer Broken

Point Break is one of those movies that’s so fucking perfect, so sublime in its idiocy, so saturated with action cliches that it cannot be improved upon. It does not need a sequel. I certainly doesn’t need a Keanu-less, Swayze-less sequel.

Point Break is a “must stop what you are doing and watch when it comes on TNT or TBS or whatever” type of movie.

Do me a favor. Watch Point Break (sober) sometime. Just pay attention and count all the crazy inconsistencies, and plot holes and complete impossibilities in that movie.  It boggles the mind. Then watch it again (this time probably not sober) and try NOT to have fun. I dare you.

The guy directing it was also the director for Speed (yay!), Twister (meh!) and Tomb Raider 2 (horf!).

Dear Hollywood Jeebus, please abort this movie fetus before it can shit its deadly venom on little orphan children (this is how it feeds). And please drown all men responsible for its conception in boiling vats of their own bile and testicle blood. Amen.

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45 Comments

  2. Hey man, TombRaider 2: Cradle of Gerard Buttler's Monster Package, was a Fantastic movie! Point Break? -I've heard of it, but figured it was about an autistic joining a debate team.

  5. Do you watch Myth Busters? They did half an episodes of skydiving myths, just from one scene of that movie. The tested: can you talk to someone while skydiving (no, too much noise); can you catch up with another skydiver who has a 15-second head start (possibly, if you started high enough, but it would be very very difficult); can you free-fall for 90 seconds jumping from a plane at only 5000ft (no, there is nowhere near that much time).

  6. Ha! I saw this bit of news yesterday and was equally flabbergasted. A sequel to Point Break is about as necessary as Starship Troopers 3 (which is also in the works, so I hear…. sad). Also, I felt the same way about Donnie Darko 2…. any sequel to that will never be as good as the original. I'm sure it will end up as a cheesy teen horror-type movie, perhaps on par with a Sci-Fi Original movie. Double sad.

  7. The second half of that movie made up for the boringness of the first half and was rather excellent if you go in with lowered expectations, or myself who saw it without knowing what it was even about…

  10. You forget that Hollywood is, in it's heart of hearts, a complete whore. In fact, it's pretty upfront about its promiscuity and whorishness. It's also pretty much going broke. The WGA strike really did cripple the industry, and studios will do anything and everything to get money. This includes milking any and every cash cow they can breath new life into, no matter how old and decrepit.

    Be on the look out for Fried Green Tomatoes 2: Jessica Tandy's Voodoo-Induced Return To The Big Screen!

  17. There was a Starship Troopers 2? Oh God, the humanity…! (although I would like to MST3K it like we did the first one. And don't get my husband started on the missing atmo jump suits…I would prefer to keep my ears from bleeding again.)

  38. I can't really fault him for the Star Wars prequels. Being in episodes I-III meant something when he signed on for them. Nobody knew of the shitstorm that would ensue. I would've signed up too without reading a script circa 1998 if Lucas had approached me to be in a new Star Wars trilogy.

  40. I actually saw it having been told that it's basically a send-up of all those cheesy cop movies. Granted, I'm severely indifferent to those types of movies, I still saw it and now it's one of my favorites ever.

  44. This movie was actually directed by a women, Katherine Bigelow! Also there is an awesome live version of this movie out now called Point Break Live! It is awesome if only becuase it stays very true to the movie, only as an improv show.

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