NEWS:
My Patreon passed the $1750 milestone (THANK YOU SO MUCH, FANCY PATRONS), so my new podcast “Potter & Daughter” will debut in February. The first 3 episodes are edited and ready to upload. Expect the first one during the week of 2/9/15. You can learn more about it here.
COMMENTERS: What food will they find clutched in your cold dead hands when they drag your body of the crevasse that was once your couch?
Probably cookies
I've heard of those. Any good?
Oh yes, definitely. Especially the ones with the light icing on the inside sandwhiched between two biscuits. However, there's some simplistic shortbread ones with sprinkles or jam that are downright delightful.
I'm just going to leave this … here … and step away slowly: https://www.itsiticecream.com/
It's beautiful :')
Actually, while we know what the Moon is made of, we don't know it got there or why it's so close. The standard picture we teach undergrads is that an object the size of Mars hit the young Earth and calved off the Moon, which explains why its composition is quite similar to the Earth's crust. However, getting this to work in computer simulations has proven to be quite hard — it can be done, but it's the cosmic equivalent of a trick shot in pool. One of those big open questions in solar system physics.
cheese, cheese filled cheese with a cheese coating, lightly dusted with cheese and with a side of cheese. I have it with almost every meal. I only weigh 126 pounds but that's because I'm only 24. I'm fairly sure that at midnight on my 30th birthday my arteries will immediately turn to concrete.
You and my wife should start a club. A club for people who will eventually give their lives in service of cheese.
Boxtrolls!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eVNWxXrDfx8 CHEESE FOR EVERYONE!
Wait… is this the answer to your favorite food question, or your answer to the mysteries of what the moon is made of?
Why does it have to be one or the other?
Yo dawg! We put cheese in your cheese so you can cheese while you cheese!
Dude, I'm cheesing my effing brains out!
Everyone knows that Scrooge McDuck went to the Moon in 1989 and proved that it was made of cheese.
Yes, I bet you're hearing the theme in your head right now. Here's an awesome orchestral version to blow your ears away: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EwbMkIROOGU
I've got the brentalfloss version stuck in my head https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fHEgzRtKC5o
Probably Mac & Cheese with chopped up hot dog pieces in it or as I call it Mac & Dogs.
It's a good death. An honorable death.
Try substituting ham cubes
Lucky Charms.
Don't judge me.
Reese Peanut Butter anything. The original cups, the cereal, ice cream, anything. T_T It's a sickness.
You ever had those "Big Cups"? They are… a problem.
Reduced Fat Wheat Thins. I've eaten several boxes and my fat is not reduced yet. So…I'm adding crunchy peanut butter to speed it up.
That'll make the fat stick to the crackers and pass through your system more easily. Good thinking.
I find the ratio of chocolate to lb wrong in the BigCup. That never stopped me…just saying.
Haha, exactly. The first time I saw them, I went into a PB to C ratio rant at work. They still rag me about it. My OCDs are plentiful and pretty much all involve food or the eating/preparation of food.
I'm gone on chewy candy: Gummi Bears, Sour Patch Kids (Watermelon and Berry Kids), Skittles, Hot Tamales, Twizzlers, etc…
I used to buy those big ass 3lb bags of Twizzlers Pull N' Peel and go through them in a couple of days.
PB to C ratio is important! If it's not calibrated just right, the taste/texture is completely thrown off. Plus, the type of C matters. I love dark chocolate. I love peanut butter. But Reese's Dark Chocolate Peanut Butter Cups don't quite taste right, whereas Trader Joe's Dark Chocolate Peanut Butter Cups (which are of a mini size) are perfection.
It's probably going to be those damned animal cracker cookies that are coated in white fudge and sprinkles. Reading the serving size on those always makes me transition seamlessly from denial-laughter to shame-weeping. Barring that, if I ever find a source of cheap-yet-decent tiramisu, I will no doubt be found dead the next morning after attempting to replace my blood with it. (Also, to hell with the moon. I don't trust it. It follows me at night.)
The serving size on those is "until your glass of milk is empty".
just wanted to say I really enjoy your comic and to ask if the style in today's strip is different then normal it looks odd to me not back at all just different
Thanks! I was trying something different with the shading. Not sure if Im going to keep it this way, however.
Ice cream is chock full of all the things I'm not supposed to eat, and the allowable substitutions just don't cut it. This is somewhat counterbalanced by the fact that I feel more satisfied after eating it than I do after most athletic victories. It is a testament to my willpower that I am not already dead or over 300 lbs.
I believe a wise green man in a turban has addressed this problem best:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9sEINMGorTE
The moon doesn't have hands, or a face. It judges silently because it can't point and laugh.
It's laughing. You better believe it's laughing.
Mochi ice cream. Coffee-flavored mochi ice cream.
…at least I died happy.
The Ben And Jerry's Coffee icecream with chocolate chunks is a thing of beauty.
http://mikawaya.com/mochi-ice-cream-2/
This, it is my vice. I buy boxes of it and then deny that I ate the whole box when it is gone fifteen minutes later.
Jelly Belly jelly beans. I hate the crappy globs of sugar and corn syrup passed off as "jelly beans". Jelly Bellies actually taste like the flavors they claim to be: cherry tastes like cherry, green apple tastes like green apple, and buttered popcorn (one of my favorites) really tastes like buttered popcorn. They cost a bit more than shitty old jelly beans, but they are so worth it.
Snozberries taste like snozberries.
I possibly shouldn't tell you this, Joel – but Keebler's "Coconut Dreams" are almost identical to Girl Scout Samoas. (The chocolate is a bit lighter – more semi-sweet than dark – and the actual cookie's texture is a little different, but in total very similar.) Turns out this is because one of the official Girl Scout Cookie bakers is corporately related to Keebler….
As for myself… JiF creamy peanut butter. Either in a peanut butter sandwich, or on a spoon, used to eat Cheerios. The latter because when I was a wee cub at the finger-foods stage, mama bear actually had the patience to make me platefuls of tiny sandwiches consisting of 2 Cheerios and a dab of PB; when my coordination was up to it, we switched to the less labor intensive expedient of the spoon and a bowl of cereal. I've had people seriously wig out over this, and I've never been able to understand why. If it were a strongly flavored/sweetened cereal (especially something like Apple Jacks or Froot Loops) maybe – but Cheerios are like crunchy oat bread. I adore both chocolate and peanut butter, but can't stand them together – I guess the people who like that combination might want to try this with Cocoa Puffs instead. 😉
A day without peanut butter is like a day without oxygen.
COCOUT DREAMS ARE NOT THE SAAAAAAAAME!!!!!
Coconut dreams are made of this. Who am I to disagree?
Coconut Dreams are made of this,
Who am I to cookie diss?
No… but they're better than going through withdrawal for most of the year. 😉
I found a Samoa clone recipe on pinterest… I haven't tried it yet, but it looks legit.
I've found that some amazingly similar cookies are produced and sold by Family Dollar, of all places. The thin mints sold are indeed both thin and minty, and the peanut butter variant aren't bad either. Not the same, but a useful substitute in the off-season.
I'm really, really enjoying the new direction of the comic. As a geek-dad myself it speaks to me, on levels both emotional and chocolatey.
Thanks!
If my death is food related, I am going out in a hail of Thin Mints.
I bet you could fire them out of one of those Nerf disc shooters. Especially if you froze them.
… brb… My oldest son got some wrist mounted Iron Man disc thrower things and I really need to check something…
moose tracks ice cream.
Klondike bars, all flavors, one in each fist!
Those will be some melty, sticky fists.
Definitely M&Ms, especially as they won't melt in my grubby hands once they turn cold and dead.
I like cold M&M's even better. Maybe I should leave a bag in a corpse hand for an hour before eating them.
"They're even better when you're DEAD!"
There's no fish stick like Mrs. Pells.
I like that the cookie in question is the Samoa. My favorite of the Girl Scout/Dark Arts cookie catalog.
Other than the caramel Tim Tam, it is the most perfect cookie.
I'm definitely more of a salt person than sweet. Not that I don't love candy, chocolate and cookies (which I do) it's just more likely that they'd be cleaning up chip crumbs at the scene of my death.
Also- our girl guide cookies in Canada sound so boring in comparison to Girl Scout cookies! We only have two kinds- the chocolate sandwich and vanilla sandwiches they sell in the spring and the thin mint type they sell in the fall. Still can eat about 5 in one go though.
I dunno, I feel like the chocolate-or-vanilla dichotomy creates perfect balance. If I alternate eating one and then the other (especially if I supplement them with sips of milk) I could easily eat an entire package before I'm even consciously aware that I'm eating something.
The brownies. The warm, gooey, delicious brownies, still in the pan, and me, clutching a spoon in my cold, dead fingers. Ghirardelli's "Double Chocolate" is the best brownie mix ever. it would be completely impossible for me to make better brownies from scratch. It's very difficult not to just eat the whole pan right after it's come out of oven.
he….I have started using Absofuckly in my vocabulary ………is that OK?
oh….and to answer original question…..Pizza
That's infuckincredible.
You think the MOON is judgmental? You haven't shared a house with Venus. Still better than rooming with Jupiter, though. Sombitch writes his name on all the food, even the stuff he didn't buy.
Bah, you just die at the end anyway, no matter how much you count calories.
A few years back there was a cookie ordering "incident" and all I can say is yes, Thin Mints are a breakfast food and who actually reads the side of the box? I just grab them based on the color of the box as I blur by them.
Here's some cookie porn for you to enjoy:
http://i144.photobucket.com/albums/r180/Dweezil_6…
Wait, there's a serving size lower than one box!?
Speaking of "things we know" have you heard the latest theory about the creation of the universe? There is now a theory with supposed backing in quantum physics that states there was no Big Bang. The universe is without beginning or end, much like your love of girl scout cookies.
This theory hasn't been fully vetted yet so it might be bunk, but it's still pretty cool that relativity-based physics are STILL challenging our most basic notions. Einstin: schooling noobs from beyond the grave.
Not that I have an iota of expertise in this area, but my favorite theory is the "Big Bounce." The Universe expands to it's limit, then contracts until it is reduced to a singularity, then it bangs or "bounces" back into expansion mode on repeat for infinity.
Yeah, the universal cycle of death and rebirth. I like that one too; it makes a lot of sense ( and is considered canonical by both Marvel and DC). There are lots of completely different theories about the nature of the universe, and most of them have some kind of scientific or observational backing. I think it's cool.
There's also the theory about the actual shape of the universe that just tickles me. According to legend, Steven Hawking was watching The Simpsons during an episode in which Homer Simpson jokingly likened the Universe to a doughnut. Mr. Hawking ran that idea through his head and came to the conclusion that Homer Simpson was probably not wrong; a toroidal shape pans out in terms of mathematical physics. Of course, it's one of those things we're never likely to ever know for sure.